'Billy Joe Van Helsing, Redneck Vampire Hunter' feels distressingly fresh

I recently looked in some boxes that have been sitting untouched for years. Inside were comic books that haven't been looked at since I read them 20-30 years ago. Many of them are black-and-white comics, which, although I grew up reading comics in that format overseas, were something unusual and noteworthy in the US comics industry during the 1980s through the mid-1990s.  I'm going to be writing about some of them here at "Shades of Gray""... some of them quite obscure. (As with all posts, click on the illustrations to see larger versions.)

Billy Joe Van Helsing, 
Redneck Vampire Hunter #1
Writers: Bill Kieffer, with Joe Migliore
Artists: Joe Paradise, Rob Hawkins, Donna Franklin, Tad Ghostal, John Skikus, Robert Roman, and Debbie David
Covers: Fred Harper (front), James Hopkins (back)
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

In 1994, Maine-based publisher Alpha Productions published the first (and only) issue of "Billy Joe Van Helsing, Redneck Vampire Hunter" It's a 32-page anthology title that satirized horror, politics of both the left-wing and right-wing variety, comics fan culture, and Stars-and-Bars-waving, beer-drinking rednecks. The title character is a Southern good ole boy who's carrying on the family business of vampire hunting. What's most fascinating to me about the book is how much of the humor holds up, nearly 25 years later.

"Billy Joe Van Helsing, Redneck Vampire Hunter" #1 contains four stories of varying lengths and three pin-ups. The primary artist is Joe Paradise, who had a hand as penciler, inker (or both) in three of the stories. All the stories were written by Bill Keiffer.

The tone of the book is blunt and sophomoric, and it seems pretty evenhanded in its mockery of both political wings. The stereotypes being played with are exactly the ones you see today when Left and Right conjure cartoonish insults of each other... and this goes for the spoofing of comics fans as well (which takes place when Billy Joe goes to a comic book convention).

The featured stories are "Here Comes Billy Joe Van Helsing, Redneck Vampire Hunter" which introduces us to our hero and his girl Maxi... although in this story, he is trying to convince her that she's made a terrible choice is dumping him for a guy who is not only a vampire but a (gasp) liberal; "The Devil and David Duke" where our hero sets aside his distaste for the KKK and its leaders like Duke to destroy a vampire who may become the next Vice President of the United States since he's Duke's running mate; "Horror of the South" where a quiet evening at home with Maxi turns awkward when her sister shows up to visit; "Li'L Billy Joe", a one-pager which spoofs the Hostess Fruit Pie ads that us Gen Xers read growing up; and "Southern Discomfort" in which Billy Joe goes to a comics convention and meets The Grad, a character from Alpha anthology series"Lethargic Comics." (That series ran 14 issues, from 1994 to 1996.)

Billy Joe Meets Klansman David Duke. 

Billy Joe goes to a ComiCon and meets the Grad

To my eye, the art and writing in this comic book is the low-end of average for what was typical in a small-press comic during the mid-1990s. Therefore, I think it's probably more reflective of the sad state of American pop culture and politics that the humor in "Billy Joe Van Helsing, Redneck Vampire Hunter" #1 holds up so well than any particular genius on the part of writer Bill Kieffer. We like to pat ourselves on the back and gladhand those who share our views, and pretend that we're better people than we were 25 years ago, but as soon as we spot someone who's not in lockstep with us culturally and politically, out come the same invective stereotypes and bigoted slurs. Every decent American agrees the likes of David Duke are scumbags, and that he and those like him on the contemporary stage should be mocked and sneered at, we also agree that it's A-Okay to toss around fat-jokes, sexist jokes, gay jokes, and stupid-Southerner-jokes so long as we are deploying them against those bad people over there who don't agree with us.

That said, no one but hardcore Gen X comics fans will know what a "Marvel Zombie" is. Am I right?

One of the Billy Joe Van Helsing pin-ups.

'Fly Away Baby' is a fun mystery

Fly Away Baby (1937)
Starring: Glenda Farrell, Barton McLane, Gordon Oliver, Raymond Hatton, Tom Kennedy, and Marcia Ralston
Director: Frank McDonald
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

In order to unravel the mysteries surrounding the murder of a jeweler, scoop-hunting reporter Torchy Blane (Farrell) joins two other reporters (Hatton and Olivier) for on-the-spot coverage of an around-the-world-record flight attempt. The other reporters are keeping secrets... but is one of them a killer?

"Fly Away Baby" is the second film in the "Torchy Blane" series, and like the first one, it clocks in at about an hour... and it makes good use of every second of running time, with a tightly delivered story, a lively cast delivering sharp and witty dialogue, and nice cinematography and sets that make the film look like it has a bigger budget than it did.

The relationship between Torchy (Glenda Farrell) and her police detective boyfriend Steve (Barton McLane) is again a nice center to the picture. It's also nice to see recurring supporting characters get some meaty scenes, like Tom Kennedy's dimwitted cop (who quits his job for reasons that become clear when he, too, shows up as part of the junket following the around-the-world flight).

The only serious complaint I have about the film is that it takes too long to get the characters in the air and overseas, and then doesn't spend enough time along the way. As a result, the climax feels a bit rushed and a lot deus-ex-machina with a heavy dose of "characters gotta do stupid things, or the story won't resolve in time" or the story won't resolve it time. This may sound like a bit of a contradiction to my comment above about the film making good use of its run-time, but it basically does: There is't a second of padding here and the clumsy plotting doesn't actually make the film any less entertaining. It does knock it from an Eight Rating to a low Seven.

Fantastic Friday!

Looking back on the Fantastic Four that was, along with two of their greatest frenemies--Doctor Doom and Prince Namor--in anticipation of the Fantastic Four that will come on August 8, 2018!

By Sandy Plunkett & Kevin Nowlan

By Steve Rude

And here's a group portrait of the First Family of Comicdom, by their co-creator!

By Jack Kirby

'Irish Luck' sets a path for Darro & Moreland

Irish Luck (aka "Amateur Detective") (1939)
Starring: Frankie Darro, Dick Purcell, Mantan Moreland, Sheila Darcy, and James Flavin
Director: Howard Bretherton
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Hotel bellhop and wanna-be detective Buzzy (Darro) becomes involved in a case of murder and stolen bearer bonds when he takes it upon himself to prove the innocence of a guest (Darcy) who is suspected of murder.

"Irish Luck" was the first film that teamed Frankie Darro and Mantan Moreland. In 1930s racially segregated America, it was a bold move to produce a film led by a comedy team consisting of one black and one white actor. It was a move that paid off, though, as the eight films the pair made together were among the most successful Monogram released.

With "Irish Luck," the formula for most of the films to follow was established: Darro and Moreland were a pair of working class buddies, usually in some service industry and usually with big dreams, who find themselves in the middle of a dangerous conspiracies and murder plots. Through luck and tenacity (and usually some late minute help from the authorities), they solve the mystery and save the day.

One of the neatest aspect of many of these films is that unlike most others from this period where black characters were embarrassingly subservient to white characters and generally slow-witted, the Darro/Moreland characters are presented as equals and close friends. In at least half the films, Moreland is usually the voice of reason that Darro ignores and then drags him into whatever harebrained scheme ends up getting them involved in their misadventure. In fact, more often than not, Moreland is the smarter of the two, and in almost everyone of their films, Darro is a bad influence upon him present in so many other comedies.

With "Irish Luck", Moreland's character stands at a halfway point between the slow-witted Step-and-Fetchit character so common in comedies from the 1930s and 1940s, and the friend and equal standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Darro that we see in some of their other films... but there is still a warmth of friendship that shines through. I suspect these films were written this way, because Darro and Moreland were, reportedly, friends in real life.

Some of the portrayals of Moreland's character aside, the script for "Irish Luck", by Mary McCarthy, is very well done. The writer swiftly and elegantly explains the history between Buzzy and the police detective played by Dick Purcell in an exchange between characters that seems completely natural. She also keeps the mysteries at the heart of the film engaging while still playing fair with the viewers by leaving clues to its solution where we can spot them along with the characters.

"Irish Luck" is a strong start to Darro and Moreland's Monogram team-up that's well worth the hour it'll take you to watch it.

Musical Monday: Lindsey Stirling

Lindsey Stirling used creative videos on YouTube to promote her innovative music and performance style... and from there rise to become a hugely popular and best-selling musian, both solo and with various collaborators. You can read more about her here. Or you can just enjoy this neat video from the Dancing Violinist.

'High Toned' is pretty low-brow

High Toned (aka "High Tones") (1930)
Starring: Ford Washington Lee and John William Sublett (Buck & Bubbles)
Director: Paul Powell
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

The Wildcat (Sublett) returns home after serving in World War I  to find his job and his girl have been taken by a monacle-wearing immigrant from the West Indies.

Back in their day, Buck & Bubbles were a hugely successful black song-and-dance/comedy duo, and one half of it, John William Sublett, is credited with inventing a particular style of tap-dancing and being someone Fred Astaire sought out for dance lessons. However, their talents aren't well represented in this film, which, according to marketing materials from the time, is one of six adaptations of Hugh Wiley short stories about an African American who was in the US Army during WWI. There's almost no dancing in the film--just a single brief bit of softshoe shuffle--and the jokes are minimal and mostly unfunny. In fact, this short film has the length, pacing, and overall feel of a substandard sit-com from the 1980s. I suppose in that sense it was ahead of its time, but unless you're a fan of substandard sit-coms or Race Films, there might not be a whole lot to interest

One thing to be aware of if your one of this breed of 21st humans who are outraged (OUTRAGED!) by anything offensive or racist, this is a film you want to stay away from as it contains just about every negative stereotype about blacks that you would find in a film from this period. Even if you do decide to brave it, you might want to just stop the DVD player as the climax is wrapping up. While I found the way the film used the "blacks are superstitious and cowardly black people" stereotype interesting--native American blacks use it against the Haitian interloper--it might be the thing that will cause you to have a nervous breakdown.

"High Toned" is one of six short films included on "Ultra-Rare Pre-Code Comedies, Volume 4:  How Comedies Are Born".

Fantastic Friday the Thirteenth!

Can even the Fantastic Four withstand the sinister forces at work on Friday the Thirteenth? Not if Doctor Doom has anything to say about it!

By Caudio Castellini

But... in answer to the question... OF COURSE they can withstand the sinister of forces of Friday the Thirteenth! They're the Fantastic Four! They get knocked down, but they get right back up again!

They are the once and future First Family of Comics! They are the Fantastic Four!

By George Perez

Picture Perfect Wednesday: Cher, American Native

"The big hoop earrings give the ensemble the finishing touch of Native American authenticity."

--Wendy Larsen

'Smart Blonde' is a wise viewing choice

Smart Blonde (1937)
Starring: Glenda Farrell. Barton McLane, Addison Richards, Tom Kennedy, Jane Wyman, and Winifred Shaw
Director: Frank McDonald
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

Newspaper reporter Torchy Blane (Farrell) and her boyfriend, Homicide Squad Lt. Steve McBride (McLane), unravel the mysteries surrounding the murder of an out-of-town investor poised to buy the businesses of Fitz Mularky (Richards).

"Smart Blonde" is a breezy mystery flick with just the right amount of suspects and story for its brief one-hour running time. Another strong element of the film is that the romantic relationship between Torchy and Steve is long-established before the beginning of this story, which is a nice change of pace. Too often, these films shoe-horn an insta-romance into the picture, but here the writers were smart enough to avoid that contrivance.

(Of course, to some degree, the source material can be thanked for that. In the story this film was adapted from, Torchy is a man who is best friends with MacBride.)

Aside from the well-cast, well-written central characters, the supporting cast is made up of similarly charming actors playing interesting characters. Stand-outs are Tom Kennedy, as Steve's small-brained, big hearted chauffeur, and Jane Wyman, a a chatty hat-check girl.

If you like 1930s mystery films that throw a "battle of the sexes" into the mix, I think you'll find "Smart Blonde" right up your alley... and a refreshing change in several ways.

Fantastic Friday!

In August, Marvel's First Family returns to print. I'm going to be posting weekly art selections in anticipation of the arrival of what I hope will be great relaunch of what have been my favorite Marvel characters since I first encountered them as a kid.

By Ron Lim

By Alan Davis & Juan Torres

By Hermes Manuel Alejandro Quevedo

'Flirting in the Park' is a weak start

Flirting in the Park (1933)
Starring: June Brewster, Carol Tevis, Grady Sutton, Eddie Nugent, Brooks Benedict, and Donald Haines
Director: George Stevens
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Two office ladies (Brewster and Tevis) spend a Saturday afternoon trying to one-up each other while on dates in the park.

"Flirting in the Park" was the first in a string of short films starring June Brewster, Carol Tevis, and Grady Sutton, all of which have been collected on a two-volume DVD series titled "Blondes and Redheads." When I first started watching and reviewing these films, I wondered why the Alpha Video releases didn't present them in order, but instead led off with films from the later period of the series.
Now that I've watched "Flirting in the Park", I understand why.

While "Flirting in the Park" starts out with some nice workplace comedy, not to mention a look into office life nearly a century ago, the viewing experience quickly sours. It's great to dislike the villainous manager who sexually harasses June (played by June Brewster) and then forces her to work Saturday afternoon when the rest of the staff gets to leave early, but it's not great when the characters we're supposed to like turn out to be petty, mean, and shallower than parts of the lake they go boating on. If this had been the first film in the series I'd seen, I don't know if I'd bothered with any others, until the day where my pile of unwatched DVDs was almsot empty. (A day that will likely never come because I have YEARS of backlog to go through.)

Much can be forgiven for characters who are funny, and that's the biggest problem here: There's very little that's funny in this film, even in the office where the film was at its most amusing. The only character here who has any charm to it is the one portrayed by Carol Tevis. She's socially awkward, but wants to be a guy magnet like her friend June... or at least be SEEN as such by June (even after June steals back the date that Carol stole from her early in the film). Carol also has the only really funny bit during the later part of the movie, a gag revolving around her showing June how good she is at flirting. (I don't want to give anymore details, because I don't want to ruin the only truly good part of this film.)

It's a shame that this otherwise good cast is stuck playing such unpleasant, unlikable characters. This goes double for June Brewster, and, despite my distaste for the character she was playing, I found myself thinking it was a shame she was more more successful in her career. (After struggling along in mostly  minor and supporting roles from between 1932 and 1938, she gave up on acting and married a vice cop turned gaming mogul... who went onto become a founding figure of modern day Las Vegas. The parts she played in this film series may well be the biggest she ever had.)

Waiting for the fireworks to begin!

If you're going set off your own fireworks, or go to a show put on by an organization, I hope there's better safety practices than Piper Laurie is instituting for her Night of Boom and Celebration.

Mae-be Fourth of July Cos-Playing?

Mae West is cos-playing the Statue of Liberty on this Independence Day!

(This picture originally appeared in the July issue of Vanity Fair in 1938, pretty much exactly eighty years ago!)

Happy Fourth of July!

We hope all our American visitors have great Independence Day, even if you might not be able to celebrate it with some gender-reversing cos-play like Olga San Juan, Noel Niell and Nancy Porter did!

Left behind by time: 'Julius Sizzer'

Julius Sizzer (1931)
Starring: Benny Rubin, Gwen Lee, Maurice Black, Matthew Betz, and Lena Malena
Director: Edward Ludwig
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Immigrant twin bothers (Rubin, in a dual role)--one innocent and naive, the other a notorious gangster-- are targeted for assassination by a rival gang.

So this is what films like "Hot Shots" and "The Naked Gun" will look like to viewers in 2068 when the contemporary pop cultural references the jokes are based around have all but faded from collective memory.

"Julius Sizzer" is a parody of gangster movies that derives its humor from puns, sight gags, recent immigrants to the United States mangling English and Yiddish, a smattering of literary and Shakespeare references, and an assumption that the viewer is familiar with "Little Caesar", which was a popular novel and hit movie from the day. For those who aren't familiar with the main target of spoofing here, this short film comes across as a mildly amusing bit of absurdist humor that uses old-time gangsters as a framework.

Whether you're familiar with "Little Caesar" or not, "Julius Sizzer" is fast-paced enough, and has enough gags that it'll keep you entertained throughout its 18-minute run-time. The title character and his weapon of choice are particularly amusing both times they come into play. Every actor gives a fine performance--and you can feel that Rubin and Lee are having fun as they butcher the English language in their scenes together.

My only major complaint with the film is that every character in the story gets a resolution but the treacherous gun moll, Cleo (played by Gwen Lee). After setting the films climax in motion, she just drops out of the story. Additionally, the scene where the innocent Sizzer brother is rousted by police detectives hoping to catch the wicked Sizzer brother goes on for just a little too long... but it's the only one that commits this error, so it's just a minor issue over all.

If you like the classic Abrahams-Zucker films referenced above, I think you'll enjoy "Julius Sizzer." When rating this film, I wavered between a Six and Seven rating. I ultimately settled on the lowest Seven, because, although flawed and out of its time, I found the film very entertaining.

'Ticklish Business' is a snappy early talkie

Ticklish Business (1929)
Starring: Monte Collins, Vernon Dent, Addie McPhail, Phyllis Crane, and William Irving
Director: Stephen Roberts
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

The psychotically jealous wife (Crane? McPhail?) of a would-be professional songwriter (Collins) would rather squash his career before it starts than risk him being around sexy chorus girls. Even if she has to kill him and the buddy (Dent) who's always encouraging him.

Phyllis Crane played the psycho wife in "Ticklish Business". Or did she?

"Ticklish Business" is a nearly forgotten film that was in the first wave of pictures made with sound in mind from start to finish. In it's ca. 20-minute running-time, it's got two songs, a musical number, a gag involving a piano, and lots of snappy dialogue. It also features remarkably naturalistic performances. I'm used to films from this period featuring a combination of the exaggerated physical acting of a silent picture and overly stilted, stagy delivery of the spoken lines, but with the exception of a couple reaction shots, neither is present here. In fact, the performances here would have been right at home in a sit-com from the 1970s or 1980s.

I think the only weak spot of "Ticklish Business" is that every attempt it tries at physical humor falls completely flat. While the physical routines weren't good to begin with, I suspect I may have viewed them in an even dimmer light, because during them, Collins and Dent reminded me of Laurel & Hardy, and they come up short by comparison.

"Ticklish Business" is one of six comedy short films found on the "Ultra-Rare Pre-Code Comedies Vol. 4" DVD from Alpha Video. Sadly, while it has a near crystal-clear soundtrack, the film from which the DVD transfer was made was degraded and blurry to the point where most faces of the actors are impossible to make out. This is why I am unsure of who played the jealous wife and who played the flapper chorus girl who rouses her wrath; they're both brunettes and their facial features are mostly blurred in the film. (I went looking online for a better copy of the film to view, but was unable to locate one. It appears that Alpha Video may well have made this film widely available for the first time in several decades.)

Picture Perfect Wednesday: It's June!

For this final June Picture Perfect Wednesday, here's a June who did things backwards: June Knight.

June Knight was a blonde-haired, blue-eyed California Girl, born in Los Angeles in 1913. She was a sickly child, and dance and gymnastics were used in her treatment and to help build her strength. It worked, and by the age of 19, she was in New York City at the start of a success Broadway career as a singer and dancer.

Numerous acting coaches and talent agents believed that June had both the poise and beauty to be a movie star. She appeared in a dozen movies during the 1930s, but she never found the part that made a lasting impression on movie-goers. She continued to seek roles in films through the late 1940s, but not cast in anything past 1939.

Born on the West Coast, at the heart of movie industry during the 1930s and 1940s, Knight was successful in East Coast theater, basically doing things backwards from other actors and actresses who migrated westward after treading the boards.

June Knight passed away on June 10, 1987.

Musical Monday: The Chauffeur & Duran Duran

"The Chauffeur" is a song off Duran Duran's second album, "Rio." As far as I know, it never climbed any charts, but it is nonetheless a song that's reportedly near and dear to Simon LeBon's heart. It's also a song with a weird video. It's a moody bit of black-and-white film work that has just enough boobage and sexuality to earn itself an R-rating (if such things were applied to music videos).



Yes, Ian Emes directed an extremely interesting and engaging music video. But what does it mean? Your guess is as good as mine. Feel free to offer some in the comments section to this most!

The gang's here, but should you be?

The Gang's All Here (1941)
Starring: Frankie Darro, Mantan Moreland, Marcia Mae Jones, Jackie Moran, Keye Luke, and Laurence Criner
Director: Jean Yarbrough
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

An unemployed truck driver, Frankie (Darro), and his friend Jeff (Moreland) take a job with a company who's deliveries are being targeted by hijackers. Luckily for them, Frankie is too stubborn to become a victim.

If there ever was a film that lacks focus, it's "The Gang's All Here". The story (which involves brutal hijackings and murder in the service of a plot that puts what could have been a sympathetic character squarely in the corner with the purely evil villains) is one that belongs in a thriller or crime drama, not a film populated by comedians laughing it up.

Speaking of the comedians, there is very little humor here that modern viewers will find funny, as it's mostly based around negative racial stereotypes about black people. I believe this to be a near-certainty, because, unlike other films featuring Mantan Moreland and Frankie Darro, the racist humor isn't turned on its head and made subversive by the fact that Moreland's characters have tended to be the smartest in the films... and if Darro (or anyone else really) paid attention to him, things would never get as bad they do. However, in "The Gang's All Here", Moreland and the other black character that appears in the film--his evil counterpart that's working for the bad guys (played by Laurence Criner)--are just as slow-witted and lazy as the characters around them assume they are. Even the relationship between Darro and Moreland's characters feels off in this one, with Moreland never rising above anything but subservience to Darro.

It doesn't help the film that Darro's character is something of a dimwit himself who is easily provoked by insults or tricked with flattery due to a severe case of Short Man Syndrome. Between Moreland and Darro's characters, we have a pair of dullards as the heroes.. comedic stereotypes who have somehow wandered into the spots where a tough guy and a comic relief sidekick should have been. Interestingly, though, the total inappropriateness of Darro and Moreland's characters for the story they're in ends up elevating an otherwise very minor character to role of the story's ultimate hero: an unassuming Chinese man (played by Keye Luke) who appears to be just hanging around to learn the trucking business. Like a couple other characters, he has secrets that come out in the course of the film, Unlike the two black characters, while Luke's character is partly played for laughs, and partly presented as being smarter than Darro and Moreland combined, he is never presented as a negative stereotype... and this also helps him fill the vacuum left by the absence of a hero.

For all its flaws, however, "The Gang's All Here" still delivers a tightly plotted and swiftly paced thriller (however accidental it may be), which is not the case for many Monogram productions that set out to be thrilling and instead ended up boring. If you can see past the racist humor, and if you've liked Darro, Moreland, and/or Luke in other films, I think you might find this one worth you time. (Not as worth-your-time as "Up in the Air", "On the Spot", or even "You're Out of Luck", but I don't think it will disappoint.)

It's an after-school killing with 'Murder on the Blackboard'

Murder on the Blackboard (1934)
Starring: Edna May Oliver, James Gleason, Gertrude Michael, Frederick Voeding, Bruce Cabot, Tully Marshall, Regis Toomey, and Barbara Fritchie
Director: George Archainbaud
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Murder hits close to home when one of Miss Withers' colleagues (Fritchie) is bludgeoned to death in the school where she teaches. As she and her friend, Inspector Oscar Piper (Gleason) investigate, they learn that many of the school's faculty and staff had reason to commit the carefully planned murder.

"Murder on the Blackboard" is a fast-paced, bare-bones mystery film full of witty dialogue that wastes no time in getting going; operates with a minimum of characters--just enough to obfuscate the identity of the murderer but no so many to make the film feel overcrowded--and locations; and not a moment wasted with filler material or even subplots. (Well, there are a couple kinda-sorta subplots that tie directly into the solution of the mystery, but they are more accurately "stub-plots" they are so minor and barely developed.)

There was one big drawback to the economic nature of how this film was executed and that is that we didn't get any of the quieter moments that showed the mutual romantic attraction developing between Hildegarde and Oscar. I thought that was one of the more appealing aspects of the first film in the series, because it was unusual to see characters like these get to be anything but the gruff cop and frumpy old maid sleuth. All that's left in this film is a sense that they grudgingly respect each others intellect, despite their constant bickering. Also missing from this film is the chance for Oscar to show that he's actually a good cop and a solid detective... it's almost entirely Hildegarde's show and she solves the mystery all on her own.

Speaking of solving the mystery... I also found the "key clue" to be more than just a little far fetched. I can't really comment beyond that without spoiling the mystery, but I can't even imagine the notion that it was a clue occurring to anyone, let alone using it to zero in on the killer's identity... except in a case where the writer told the character to have the idea in the first place.

"Murder on the Blackboard," despite not being as good as "The Penguin Pool Murder", is entertaining  and well worth the roughly 70 minutes it will take you to watch it.

Picture Perfect Wednesday: It's June!

The third June for June's Picture Perfect Wednesdays is June Kenney. Hers is a story of near-misses when it came to stardom.

Born in 1933, June Kenney began acting on stage at the age of 4 and appeared in several  several musical short films after being spotted by a talent scout. Warner Bros. was at one time seriously considering signing her to a contract and making her the next Shirley Temple, but her parents didn't want to relocate to California.


Eventually, Kenney's family did relocate to Southern California and settled in West Hollywood. She continued to perform on stage, and in her late teens, she was again spotted by a talent scout. This led to her being cast in a leading role in a television soap opera in 1954... but the show was cancelled before it even aired when the main sponsor pulled out. As a result, she spent the next few years playing bit-parts on television, in movies, and in commercials.

In 1957, Kenney was cast in the starring role of "Teenage Doll" by B-movie King Roger Corman. From that point forward she was locked onto a career path that consisted of one low-budget thriller, horror, or sci-fi film after another.

Kenney deeply wanted more from her acting career, but she could not break out of the B-movie rut she found herself in. She retired from screen acting in 1962, but continued to work as a voice-over actress and eventually became an executive in radio.

Kenney currently lives in Parumph, NV, a town made famous as the long-time home of overnight radio legend Art Bell.

Musical Monday: The B52's performing "Give Me Back My Man"!

The B-52's are among the greatest New Wave bands to rise to fame during the late 1970s and early 1980s. Their presentation style was also among the most retro of all of them, which means they fit right in here at Shades of Gray... especially given this video for "Give Me Back My Man" is in black-and-white.



Some of you may be aware that I frequently post random tables intended to inspire roleplaying game adventure ideas (and to just amuse) over at the NUELOW Games blog. Whether you are or not, I am bringing that practice to this blog, for, at the very least, one post.

WHO TOOK HER MAN? (Roll 1d12)
1. The Queen of the 57th Dimension.
2. The Vampire of Mulholland Drive.
3. The Sorceress of Zoom.
4. The Sirines of Shipwreck Cove.
5. The Love Witch.
6. A Sharknado.
7. Lady Satan.
8. The Mermaid of Blood Bay.
9. Anal-Probing Greys from Ganyamede.
10. Herbert West, Mad Scientist.
11. Khefra, Living Mummy Princess of Egypt.
12. Russian Hackers.

'The Wide Open Spaces' is filled with funny

The Wide Open Spaces (1931)
Starring: Dorothy Sebastian, Ned Sparks, Antonio Moreno, and George Cooper
Director: Arthur Rossen
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

A corrupt sheriff (Sparks) will go to any lengths to destroy the romance between the lovely Miss Rose (Sebastian) and the dashing John Smith (Moreno).

"The Wide Open Spaces" is a short film that lampoons just about any and every trope of westerns from the silent film and early talkies era that you can think of. It starts with a series of sight-gags and jokes revolving around gun-happy townsfolks, transitions into a series of gags based around the stereotypical wild west saloon, and ultimately settles into a spoof of melodramas with a love triangle involving the tough-as-nails-but-sexy saloon girl Rose (played by Dorothy Sebastian with perfect comedic timing), the crooked Sheriff Jack Rancid (played by Ned Sparks who does everything but twirl his mustache), and the mysterious Mexicano named John Smith (the romantic lead and mostly straight-man, played by Antonio Moreno).

While some jokes are funnier than others, there aren't any that fall flat--and that includes one involving Sebastian that I assume was somewhat shocking back in the day. One of the funniest is set up early in the picture and pays off at the very end when the evil sheriff gets his well-deserved come-uppance... while one of the most mysterious is the presence of a cross-dressing actor in black face portraying Rose's maid. This character is so strange and so out-of-place that I assume it's a reference to something contemporary audiences would have understood but is lost on me. (I have a couple ideas about what it might mean, but I can't help but feel that I'm looking at the scene with 21st century eyes and therefore imposing something on that wasn't there when it was filmed. If anyone has seen the "Wide Open Spaces" who wants to comment on cross-dressing maid in blackface, I'd love to hear your thoughts.)

All-in-all, this is another great bit of fast-moving, whacky fun from the Masquers Club... and one that I think will be as entertaining to the modern viewer as it was to audiences back in 1931.

Dorothy Sebastian is not impressed.

Have a fun time with 'The Dancing Millionaire'

The Dancing Millionaire (1934)
Starring: Dorothy Granger, Carol Tevis, Grady Sutton, Tom Kennedy, and Jack Mulhall
Director: Sam White
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When her wrestler boyfriend (Kennedy) is arrested after a road-rage incident, Dorothy (Granger) decides to trade up to a rich man (Sutton) she meets at her job as a taxi-dancer. Things get complicated when the ex (who doesn't know he's an ex) gets out of jail and shows up at the restaurant where Dorothy is on a date with her new man.

"The Dancing Millionaire" is the most 'mature' of this allegedly risque series of pre-Hayes Code comedy shorts that I've watched so far, at least as far as the jokes and the character motivations go, as as Granger's character's main interest in men being what's in their wallets rather than their heart or personality. Some of the slapstick is a bit on the lame side, but the non-stop pace of this film makes that excusable. What is slightly more annoying is that Dorothy Granger appears to be doing the "high-pitched dumb chick voice" like Carol Tevis always does... and both of them doing that is a bit much. Still, this is a fun film... and a funny twist at the very end.

You can find "The Dancing Millionaire" with several other entries in the "Blondes and Redheads" series on DVD. I recommend picking it up. Some are better than others, but they all have something worthwhile about them.



Trivia: Almost everywhere you look on the Internet--including at IMD--the summary of this film is wrong. They even get it wrong on the back cover of the DVD I link to above. Just about everyone seems to think "The Dancing Millionaire" can be summarized as follows: "A thuggish gangster, trying to prove that he's "sophisticated", gets the girls to help him to win a local dancing competition."... But there is neither a thuggish gangster, nor a dancing competition anywhere in the film.

Picture Perfect Wednesday: It's June!

The second June in June is the most frequently-featured June here at Shades of Gray, June Collyer. She has even been the inspiration for a couple rollplaying game scenarios by the prorietor that were published by NUELOW Games.

June Collyer was born in 1906 to socially prominent and wealthy parents in New York City. She set her heart on acting at a young age, and got her first professional roles as a teenager and became a leading lady in silent films as of 1927.

Unlike many other early movie stars Collyer's career survived the advent of sound, and she continued to star in dramas, comedies, and thrillers until the mid-1930s, when, after a decade as a leading lady, she retired from film acting. There is no clear reasons for her retirement, although the prevailing theory seems to be that she gave up acting to raise her children... a theory that seems to ring true given that in 1950, she resurfaced on the small screen playing the TV wife of her real world husband for five years on "The Stu Erwin Show."

June Collyer passed away in 1968, just a few months after her husband of 36 years had died.

'No Hands on the Clock' is flawed but still fun

No Hands on the Clock (1941)
Starring: Chester Morris, Jean Parker, George Watts, Astrid Alwynn, Lauren Raker, Dick Purcell, and Rose Hobart
Director: Frank McDonald
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

A missing person case in Reno turns into a tangle of mistaken identities and murder involving a dysfunctional family and bank robbers... and it's disrupting the honeymoon of a private detective (Morris) and his bride (Parker), not to mention threatening to end their marriage before it even gets off the ground.

"No Hands on the Clock" is a light-hearted murder mystery that is dragged down by a mystery plot so complicated that it's difficult to follow. It's not neccesarily a bad plot--and I think it was probably perfectly fine in the novel this film was based on--but this film has too short a running time to give enough room for the motives for kidnapping and murder of the many characters to be given enough context and explanation.

But, honestly, the plot is almost secondary to the antics of the quirky detective, Humphrey. played by Chester Morris, and his wife Louise, played by Jean Parker. They're fun to watch as they exchange one-liners and witty remarks, although I couldn't help but think this marriage is going to end in a quicky Reno divorce with the level of disrespect Humphrey has for his wife, and the rampaging jealousy Louise has regarding he husband talking to other women, even when he's obviously doing so while "on the job."

The film is also fun to watch, because Morris and Parker are supported by actors and actresses who are cast as perfectly as they are in their various roles. Dick Purcell shines almost as brightly as Morris and Parker in a small but crucial role as a notorious gangster. The only sour note is a strange performance given by Astrid Allwyn, in what would be her final film appearance of note. She has a fake smile frozen on her face and she is never looking at the actors with whom she shares a scene but always slightly away from them, staring into space with a gaze as fixed as her smile. I don't know if she was reading cue cards just off set or what was going on there, but she gave a performance more fit for radio than the screen, and she stole her scenes in a bad and distracting way whenever she appeared. (I could understand what she was doing if her character was supposed to be blind that wasn't the case.)

In the end, there is just enough bad in "No Hands on the Clock" to outweigh the good. It's flawe, but still fun, and comes in on the low end of average.

'Danger on the Air' is saved by its stars

Danger on the Air (1938)
Starring: Nan Grey, Donald Woods, Richard 'Skeets' Gallagher, Peter Lind Hayes, Lee J. Cobb, Berton Churchill, and Jeff Prouty
Director: Otis Garrett
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

When a radio network's biggest, and most obnoxious, sponsor dies under mysterious circumstances, an ad executive (Grey) and sound engineer (Woods) turn amateur detectives to unravel the mystery and bring the murderer to justice.

On the one hand, "Danger on the Air" feels as light-weight as the balloons floating about the radio station throughout this picture. On the other hand, it feels like it's trying to do too much in its short running time (70 minutes), because it is crammed full of characters, nearly every one of which has a reason for wanting the murder victim dead.

The airy, light feeling comes from the snappy, well-crafted dialogue, of which not a single line or word is without  reason--either to advance the plot or to provide characterization. The great interplay that Nan Grey has with just about ever actor she shares a scene with also adds to the film's sense of breeziness. This is especially true for scenes with co-star Donald Woods and the soon-to-be murdered Berton Churchill.

Speaking of Berton Churchill and Nan Grey, they both play characters that I think go a long way to making this movie appeal to modern audiences. Churchill's character of Cesar Cluck is a lecherous, self-promoting businessman who uses any and all means available to crush his competition and forces himself upon every pretty woman he meets because he feels it's his right. Meanwhile, Nan Grey's character, Christina McCorkle is an independent-minded professional woman in charge of her own ad agency who takes no guff from anyone; she may be partners with her brother in the venture, but it's clear who's in charge. When Cluck turns on the "charm" and tries to sexually assault her, she treats him like Harvey Weinstein should have been treated by his victims--she decks him with a sold punch to face. The men in the movie, who have all been kowtowing to Cluck cheer for her actions. Grey's character, and almost every action she takes, is one that should appeal to modern viewers and is as big a part of making this movie as enjoyable as it is as Grey's bright presence on the screen.

Unfortunately, for all the good it has going for it, the movie suffers from trying to do too much in a short running time. It is crammed full of too many characters, each of which get at least a line or two, each of which is referenced by other characters repeatedly, and each of which has a motive for killing the murder victim. Unfortunately, most them are middle-aged men in dark suits, so even the most attentive viewer will had a hard time telling who's who. What's worse, in the end, because of the abundance of characters who all blend together, the stereotypical "gather all the suspects for the big reveal" just adds more confusion to the overall storyline when the killer is ultimately revealed. Although a foundation for the motive is well established, it still feels like the solution comes out of left field.

Usually, I find myself needing the structure of the mystery and the interplay between actors to be of almost equal importance in films of this kind. In this case, however, I found the leads to be so strong--and Grey in particular--that they more than made up for the deficiencies elsewhere. I don't recall seeing films with Woods before, and I've never been as impressed with Grey as I was here (heck, the only other place I remember her from is "Daughter of Dracula", although I am fairly certain she's been in other films I've watched and written about). I will have to seek out more movies with both in the future to see if they shine the way they did here.

Picture Perfect Wednesday: It's June!

We're going all Junes on the June Picture Perfect Wednesdays! First up is June Lang!

Born in 1917, June Lang began acting professionally in her early teens after lying about her age to a casting director. During the 1930s, she climbed the studio system ladder, starting in supporting roles in B-pictures and serials (such as "Chandu the Magician", along side Bela Lugosi, under her true name June Vlasek), and eventually starring along side the likes of Laurel & Hardy (in "Bonney Scotland") Fredric March (in "Road to Glory"), and Shirley Temple (in "Wee Willie Winkle").

Lang specialized in playing wholesome, perky women, but when she married mob boss Johnny Roselli--in love and unaware of his criminal connections--the ensuing publicity tarnished her image and essentially ended her career in 1940. Even after divorcing him in 1942, she was unable to reestablish her career, and she all but retired from acting in 1947. She passed away in 2005.

Read more about June Lang at the Internet Movie Database by clicking here.

Musical Monday: Leo's 'Hurt'

I think the only person who's done this song better than the multi-talented Norwegian rocker Leo Moracchioli is Johnny Cash... and I'm including the original performance by Nine Inch Nails when making this judgement. It's spookier and more intense that Leo's usual high energy and wild performances, but it's still fantastic.



This is the third in a series of posts with music videos by Moracchioli. I'm a fan, and I hope you will become one, too. For literally hundreds more fantastic covers from this talented artist, check out his YouTube Channel.

Love is blooming in 'Rough Necking'

Rough Necking (1934)
Starring: June Brewster, Carol Tevis, Grady Sutton, Spencer Charters, and George Chandler
Director: George Stevens
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

After her domineering father (Charters) forbids June (Brewster) from seeing her boyfriend Grady (Sutton), her younger sister Carol (Tevis) convinces Grady to disguise himself as a woman and visit June right under their father's nose. Complications arise when both the father and a male house guest (Chandler) decide to make romantic overtures to the cross-dressing Grady.

"Rough Necking" is one of those comedies where it's a Bad Thing to think too hard about the events that are unfolding. The situation is very funny in the moment, but I foresee jailtime (or at least probation) for two of the characters when all is said and done.

Although that somewhat mood-spoiling thought was in the back of my mind, I still found this film to be very funny. The laugh-lines are plentiful, the physical comedy is well-choreographed and hilarious, the content is exactly as baudy as the punny title implies, and the ending is about as perfect as it can be. (But, like I said, I would hate to be some of these characters the following day.)

"Rough Necking" was the fifth in a series of comedic short films starring Carol Tevis and a troupe of performers. It has been made available to modern audiences on the Blondes and Redheads: Lost Comedy Classics DVD along with three other installments in the series.