Bones Coffe's Irish Cream

Ever since I've been writing commentaries and reviews, whether professionally or for fun, I have had one standard: I NEVER intentionally set out to review something that I do not expect to like. Few things in the A&E sphere are more obnoxious than the reviewer or critic who seeks out material in genres or from artists he knows he's going to hate, just so he can savage it. With that said, this review is a bit of a break from my personal standards as a commentator and reviewer... because I went into this expecting not to like the coffee I was tasking myself to drink and review.

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: IRISH CREAM

I am not a fan of Irish Cream coffee, be it the real thing or just a flavored creamer. Maybe it's because I'm not a big whiskey drinker. maybe it's because I've just never had Irish Cream done right, or maybe it's just not for me. Whatever the reason, I don't like it.

Still, as I am running out of Bones Coffee flavors to sample and write about--and with St. Patrick's Day is coming up--I am taking the opportunity to see if Bones can change my mind about Irish Cream via their Irish Cream-flavored coffee. They have surprised me many times since I began writing these articles, and maybe this would be another one of those times. (And even if it wasn't, it wouldn't be a terrible loss, as I ordered this as part of a sampler pack consisted of five flavors.)

Upon opening the package, I didn't notice any particular smell except that of coffee... and maybe a hint of chocolate. Why could I smell chocolate in an Irish Cream-flavored drink? I don't know, but as the coffee brewed, I didn't notice aromas rising from the coffeemaker other than the pleasant aroma of coffee.

Drinking this blend straight was about as I expected it to be. Bones seems to have captured the flavor of Irish Cream just fine with this one, so if you have a hankering for coffee with Bailey's liquor, but you're at work or driving the mini-van with the kids in the back, this is the drink for you. Also, the chocolate I thought I smelled when I first opened the package was nowhere in the flavor profile while I drank it hot and black. Also, the cream aspect of the drink was a little weak--far behind the coffee and whiskey flavors, but that should be easily fixed by not drinking it black, right?

Wrong. As is my habit when drinking these coffees for reviews, I first added Unsweetened Almond Milk to my cup, and I thought that might bring forth the creaminess, and perhaps even unveil the chocolate. It didn't. Instead, it caused the coffee to taste as if I had just poured spoiled milk into it. It was terrible. It was so terrible that I didn't even let the coffee cool to see what it might taste like at room temperature, but instead just dumped it immediately and rinsed out my cup. (I have found that these flavored coffees can taste differently depending on how hot or cold they are, but I wasn't going to subject myself to another mouthful of that terrible swill I had created.)

When I added sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer to a cup of Bones' Irish Cream, the result was far better. It didn't really improve all that much as far as bringing any additional flavors, and I didn't think it mixed all that well with those that were present when the coffee was black. It didn't taste like spoiled milk, but it still had a somewhat sour aftertaste. Maybe if I had some non-fat milk, or even a little whipping cream, to add it might have made it better, but I doubt it.

I then doubled back and tried it with the other kind of almond milk I test these coffees with--Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk. Surprisingly, this worked better with this Irish Cream blend than the sugar-free creamer had. It still didn't add much in the way of creaminess, but the addition of the vanilla made the chocolate undertones creep back out. (Unless... the chocolate flavor was there because I didn't adequately clean the coffeemaker after brewing some Signature Select Light Roast Double-Dutch Chocolate) Well, regardless, Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk was the addition to the Bones' Irish Cream that so far had worked the best!

As the cups with the creamer--and later the almond milk with vanilla--cooled, I found myself liking the flavor even better. This isn't surprising, since I imagine this may be a blend that's supposed to be consumed at room temperature or chilled and over ice; I mean, does anyone drink Irish Cream coffee hot, except for when you're adding those little cups of creamers to your gas station coffee? 

Unfortunately, I found myself unable to recommend this blend over ice. Whether I tried it black, with Unsweetened Almond Milk, or with the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer, when consumed chilled and over ice, the dominant flavor of the Irish Cream blend was one of salty dirt. I've had Bones blends turn salty over ice before, but this dirt flavor is something new. The Irish Cream taste is there, in the distant background and as something of an aftertaste. The dirt flavor a little less prominent with the creamer, so maybe there's just something about the way Bones created this blend that doesn't mix with almond milk? (I confess that I didn't bother trying the blend iced with regular Unsweetened Almond Milk, because it had brought about such a horrible result previously.)

Mike and Buff dance with joy over Irish Cream coffee! Sadly, Steve does not.

I don't know... maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. In the end, I can only say that Bones' Irish Cream blend is not for me, and the only way I feel like even recommend anyone drink it is either balck and hot, or at room temperature. The best part about this product is the packaging--which features another cute and excellent cartoon of the Bones mascot in action. 

I am sorry I didn't like this blend more... but at least I can take this as proof that my typical attitude of not even considering something for review if I suspect I might not like it, is the right attitude to take. 

If you have a take on Irish Cream (Bones Coffee or otherwise), please leave a comment below!

It's St. Patty's Day!

 Since gender-flipping is all the rage these days, we here at Shades of Gray have turned St. Patrick into St. Patty. This majestic figure of revised legend stands ready to hook snakes, drop them in cages, and humanely relocate them to somewhere far away.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Toby Wing is here to drive out some snakes!

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

It's the day when Green Means Go--Get as Drunk as Possible! (It's also okay to drive snakes out of wherever you find them; just don't drink and drive!)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Olga San Juan tips her hat to you!

Carole Landis gets points for trying!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

To the Irish (and everyone who pretends to be Irish on this day, so they can drink like they're Irish), may you barely remember the fun you have on this St. Patrick's Day!

Saint Patrick's Day is almost here....

... and then these bonny lasses will be too drunk to dance.