Showing posts with label 1990s. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1990s. Show all posts

Monday, October 2, 2023

Musical Monday with Robbie Williams

Robbie Williams


Robbie Williams pokes fun at gonzo-style bands like Kiss and Alice Cooper in this nice tune (and even better video).

Let Me Entertain You (1998)
Starring: Robbie Williams
Director: Vaughan Arnell
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Monday, April 3, 2023

Musical Monday with George Michael


Here at Shades of Gray, our typical content is generated from anywhere across 200 years of pop culture. If you took the stuff posted here, blended in all together, and added a hefty dose of Crazy, you'd probably end up with something very much like this spectacularly strange video for George Michael's "Spinning the Wheel". It's something you MUST see!


Spinning the Wheel (1996)
Starring: George Michael
Director: Vaughan Arnell
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

Tuesday, March 21, 2023

A fun horror movie spoof!

Night of the Living Bread (1990)
Starring: Vince Ware, Katie Harris, Robert J. Saunders, Gina Saunders, Stephen R. Newell, Kevin J. O'Brien, and Steve Heminghausen
Director: Kevin J. O'Brien
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When a strange explosion at a factory causes bread to animate and attack the living, will anyone survive to see the sun rise again?

Steve Heminghausen in "Night of the Living Bread" (1990)

"Night of the Living Bread" is a fun, well-executed spoof of the genre-shaping zombie flick "Night of the Living Dead" (1968). In its eight-minute running time, it touches hilariously on all the key scenes and story elements of George Romero's most famous flick... but with the zombies being replaced by slices of bread and hamburger buns.

This is one of those flicks where too much talk by a reviewer will ruin the fun of watching it (which you can do by clicking below, in this very post), so I'll just highlight two things that make this film so good: First, the cast of actors plays everything completely straight (with one exception); this heightens the comedic absurdity of the story. Second, the film has a jump-scare that is so unexpected that even a jaded horror film viewer like myself was startled by it.

Check out this great little flick and have your day brightened. (It will be ten-times more enjoyable if you're familiar with the film its making fun of, but I think it can be enjoyed by any fans of classic horror films.)


Monday, February 27, 2023

Musical Monday with Fu-Schnickens

We try to mix a little education with the entertainment these parts. So, on this Musical Monday, we bring you a rap video from the early 1990s that answers a question you didn't even know you wanted answered: What is a True Fuschnick?



Click below, sit back, and prepare to be schooled!


Um... okay. Maybe we over-sold the educational value to that video... but it IS a very entertaining bit of rap from the early 1990s. (1992 to be exact, and the third single from what would prove to be their biggest album -- their debut album, "F.U.: Don't Take It Personal.")

You can read about the group's history at Wikipedia by clicking here. (Among the groundbreaking they can be credited with was defining a trail that the longer-lasting Wu-Tang Clan would soon follow.)

Monday, January 30, 2023

Musical Monday with Maggie Reilly

Maggie Reilly in "Everytime We Touch"

"Everytime We Touch" is a beautiful song with a trippy, mildly creepy video. When I first heard the song, I thought it was another team-up of Reilly and the great Mike Oldfield. When I saw the video a short time later, I WAS certain it was another team-up between Oldfield and Reilly... why else would that guitarist be in shadow like thet? I took it as confirmation of my assumption, because it felt obvious that Oldfield didn't want to steal the spotlight from her. Additionally, I made up a story about the weirdness going on in the video; maybe I'll relay it some day.


Of course, I was WRONG about this song being a team-up between Reilly and Oldfield. That's NOT him on guitar, and this is not a song from his pen, which became obvious to me as I grew up and my ear became more refined. I still like my little fantasy about Oldfield making an anonymous cameo appearance this video.

If you've never heard this song (which was a huge hit across Europe in 1992 and 1993), I hope you'll fall in love with it as I did and that you, too, will come to think of it as "the greatest Mike Oldfield song he never wrote".


By the way, I'm not the only person who made wrong assumptions about this song and who performed it. Adults and even musicians have made the same mistake, as you'll learn from looking at the comments on this video... or from just watching this really well-done cover of "Everytime we Touch" at YouTube.

Monday, January 9, 2023

Musical Monday with White Town

Chloe Treend in "Your Woman" (1997)

Every so often, we come across an item that, by itself, encapsulates the spirit of the Shades of Gray blog by seeming to be a manifestation of the mish-mash of content here. From silent movies, through the 1950s, and into the 1980s--you'll find that vibe in this 1990s song and video from White Town. The video looks like it's set in 1960s England but features silent movie tropes and humor, and it supports a electronica that samples a hook from a 1930s song that itself was a cover of a 1920s song.


Your Woman (1997)
Starring: Chloe Treend
Director: Mark Adcock
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

Monday, December 26, 2022

Now it's that sad time of year...

 ... when Mariah Carey must return to the ocean... 

Mariah Carey in "My All"

But we can take solace in knowing that she'll be back in time for next Christmas!

Mariah Carey in "My All"


Plus, here she is performing one of her great hits. We hope this will tide you over until she's back!

Monday, October 31, 2022

Musical Monday with Danse Macabre

 Danse Macabre was, as far as we can tell, a one-man, goth rock outfit that released one album in 1991, Bad. But Not Bad. Here's "She Believes", which was the 10th track and only video and single from the album that we can find any reference to/trace of.

We hope this atmospheric song and chilling video will strengthen your Halloween Spirit on this, the most macabre of Musical Mondays!

Saturday, September 24, 2022

A great collection of early work by Richard Sala

Black Cat Crossing (Kitchen Sink Press, 1993)
Writers: Richard Sala and Tom De Haven 
Artist: Richard Sala
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

"Black Cat Crossing" collects 17 short stories done by Richard Sala during from the mid-1980s through the early 1990s. There are also a pair of Sala's intrigue- and mystery-drenched "pin-up pages" that serve as endpapers for the book, a table of contents that is executed in the style of an illuminated manuscript; and another Sala's activity-packed one-pagers serving as a frontis-piece. So, it's like we're being treated to a few opening acts before the main event! 

Many of the stories had previously appeared in comics anthologies (which were, sadly, dying out once and for all during the period Sala was contributing to them), and a few were original to this book. Most are examples of Sala's ability to capture the feel of randomness that permeated many pulp short stories of the 1930s while crossing them with a 1940s and 1950s B-movie or film noir sensibility. A few also shows how he can masterfully he can use the "unreliable narrator" in his stories.

The rating I give this book is an average of the stories within it.

The collection opens with three long stories (each more than ten pages). The first two, "The Fellowship of the Creeping Cat" and "The Big Dark Zero" feature equal parts mystery, drama, and humor. They are loving spoofs of pulp-fiction and film noir mystery tales with ludicrous set-ups and overly tangled dark secrets that nonetheless are executed every bit as serious as "The Maltese Falcon". And this is why they work. Both stories also sport genre-appropriate endings that are a satisfying mix of tragic and justice that will leave even the most critical reader satisfied.

The Fellowship of the Creeping Cat by Richard Sala

"The Fellowship of the Black Cat" focuses a writer of limited success who finds himself at the center of a string of murders related to a long-defunct secret society of vigilantes. It is full of goofy elements, but it is also features escalating tension, because the reader clues into the trouble the protagonist is getting himself into before he does. The mystery of who is behind the plot is also an interesting one. The only complaint I have about the story is that the ending could have been a little stronger, so it rates an 8 of 10 Stars.

"The Big Dark Zero" is a pulp-fiction, film-noir style mystery tale about an amnesiac who has to rediscover his forgotten past to discover why people are suddenly trying to kill him. As the mystery unravels, the facts become increasingly ridiculous, but the story is played perfectly straight throughout, with even a touch of tragedy, which makes this a very effective tale. This is a solid 9 of 10 Stars.


The third and final of the longish stories in "Black Cat Crossing" is also one of the very best in the book. It may even be the best short story Sala wrote and illustrated, period. (It also has an amusing bit of crossover with another story in the book, perhaps the earliest example of the Salaverse, which is hinted at in some of the Peculia and Bloody Cardinal stories, and elsewhere.)

"Where is Christine Broder?" is one of the finest examples of how Richard Sala was an expert of the unreliable narrator. Throughout this whole film-noirish mystery tale involving a burned-out investigator looking for a missing woman the reader has the sense that something is off. It's a sense that keeps growing, but you're never quite sure WHAT is off about the first person narrative that's unfolding and when Sala finally reveals the truth of what's going on, in a perfectly timed and executed fashion, readers feel a mixture of  empathy for the narrator and a twinge of horror about his situation. It's a 10 of 10 Stars without question.


In the middle of the book are six one- and two-page stories in color. They are generally the weakest of what is collected in this volume, with four of them feeling more like story sketches or outlines than full-fledged works; I give most of these collective 6 of 10. The only two that are worth commenting on are a chilling spoof of romance comics titled "A Newlywed's Heartache" (in which the bride discovers chilling facts about her husband) and "Night Delivery which is a pun-based one-page story that I probably found more amusing than any adult should. Both of those rate 8 of 10 Stars.

The black-and-white stories resume with "Another Mad Doktor", which you can read in its entirety, here at Shades of Gray; and "Psychorama", which is the earliest of at least three spoofs of the kids' "alphabet primers" that Sala did. Each letter of the alphabet stands for a deadly lunatic in a psychologist's casebook, and each of these one-panel, rhyming gags are a mixture of cute and creepy. Both of these earn a solid 8 out of 10 Stars.

Next up, we have "The Proxy", a story drawn by Sala but written by . I'm not sure what to make of this one. I read it four times, carefully, and I am still not certain what's going on or what the point it. I am not even sure if there is a point, beyond telling a story about a guy who is is drawn back into the web of deceit and lies and manipulations that exists around his shady kinda-sorta friend, Doc. By the end of the story, I had the sense that the protagonist is screwed and that Doc... well, I really don't know about Doc. Still, it was an engaging story, so it's getting a 7 of 10 Stars.

From "The Proxy"

 With "The Peculiar Case of Dr. V", Sala presents a mystery tale that features his trademark mix of suspense and goofiness, blended with a twist ending that elevates the take from average Sala to excellent Sala. It's another 7-Star effort!

Next is one of the weaker efforts in the book, "Hypnorama", which is a comics summary/dramatization of a tell-all book about how subliminal messages were/are concealed in advertising art and logos. While Sala did a good job of both summarizing the topic of the book and infusing his adaptation with a sense of insanity, it just didn't grab me. Maybe it's because I am already very familiar with the topic, or because it's been done to death over the 35 or so years that have passed since Sala delivered his take on it? Whatever the reason, this one gets 6 of 10 Stars.

The last story in the book, "Judy Drood, Girl Detective", is a Sala milestone. It marked the first appearance of one of Sala's signature characters, Judy Drood. Over the space of two pages, Sala delivers a fun spoof of classic kid/young adult adventure fiction (specifically the novels starring teenaged amateur detective Nancy Drew) as well as bringing us a great example of his ability to tell complete stories in single panels--or, even better, feed the readers' imaginations with summaries of great stories . All-in-all, it's clear why this, which was initially conceived as a one-off by Sala ws something that his friends encouraged him to expand into something bigger. This tale is a solid 10 of 10 Stars, and it's another one of those that you can read here at the Shades of Gray blog.

Rounding out the anthology is the expected author's bio--although Sala delivers one that is not at all one would expect... and in perfect keeping with his forever tongue-in-cheek approach to his storytelling, one final single panel cartoon, and another of his one-page pin-up style pictures--the endpaper I mentioned at the top. These all get a solid 8 of 10 ratings.

Night of the Canary by Richard Sala

 "Black Cat Crossing" is a spectacular collection of Richard Sala's early work, which remains as fresh and exciting as it was when it was first created three decades ago. That shouldn't be surprising, since he drew his inspiration from pop-culture and artistic evergreens.

When I average out the ratings, this anthology is a solid Eight of Ten Stars... and one that I think is well worth checking out by anyone who enjoys well done comics, film-noir, silent movies, and mystery fiction. I think you'll have a great time while in the Salaverse. (It's still in print, but it's impossible to say for how long. Sala is rapidly joining the ranks for unjustly forgotten comics creators.)



Monday, August 8, 2022

Musical Monday with Primus


On this Musical Monday, Primus reminds us with song and video that people were doing stupid, dangerous things for public attention long before TikTok came along. They just had to work harder at it in the old days.

Over the Falls (1997)

Starring: Les Claypool, Larry Lalonde, and Brian Matia
Director: Les Claypool
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Saturday, May 28, 2022

Gun Fury Returns!

Gun Fury Returns #1 - #4 
(Aircel Comics/Malibu Graphics, June - September 1990)
Story: Barry Blair
Art: Dave Cooper
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

New York City has been overrun by costumed heroes and villains. Millionaire Donald Lump believes Gun Fury and Ammo can restore some semblance of order, so he coaxes them out of retirement by funding new equipment for them and providing a base of operations. The city has been overrun by costumed heroes and villains, and only Gun Fury can restore some semblance of order!

Gun Fury and Ammo, by Dave Cooper

Gun Fury and Ammo were the stars of a ten-issue superhero parody series that ran from January to October of 1989. There are hints that, despite the series wrapping up with the heroes retiring at the end of #10, there were course adjustments in the final 2-3 issues, because the creators knew cancelation was looming due to low sales. 

In mid-1990, Gun Fury and Ammo returned for four more whacky adventures of questionable taste, brought to us by the original creative team of Barry Blair (writer and creator) and Dave Cooper (artist and sometime co-plotter) in the limited series "Gun Fury Returns". In keeping with the tone of the original series, "Gun Fury Returns" is full low-brow spoofs of popular comic book characters and dominant industry business and storytelling trends. (You can read my thoughts about the original series by clicking here [issues 1-5] and here [issues 6-10].

One thing that immediately jumps out if you put the four issues of this series side-by-side is that the covers get progressively more unappealing and downright ugly. Take a look:

'Gun Fury Returns' #1 - 4 covers

Does the interior artwork and stories follow this same progression, you may ask? Generally no--except for #4 where artist Cooper didn't do the excellent ink washes that graced all the pages up until that point. There is a fairly steady level of quality throughout the series... which is both good and bad.

"Gun Fury Returns" follows the rhythm that the first series fell into as of issue #6: Each issue features a self-contained story, with Gun Fury and Ammo being the only recurring characters and everything being tied together with a thin subplot that's little more than a running joke. In this mini-series, the subplot is about Gun Fury's hemorrhoids, which should tell you something about the level of humor present within the pages.

The first issue of the mini-series is perhaps the weakest. I remember reading it back in 1990 and being disappointed in it. I particularly found the Batman spoof that is the central feature of the issue to be overly juvenile and crass (even by the standards of the previous series), as well as a little trite and redundant since Gun Fury and Ammo were already something of a Batman spoof. 

Thirty years later, I still find "Batman and Throbbin" and the related, embarrassingly obvious scatological humor to be lame, but, because there have been one redundant Batman movie after another, I also feel like this target is even more deserving than it was Back In The Day. The Alfred-type character made me chuckle back then, and it is still one of the more amusing (and darker) elements of the parody. 

Issue #2 offers an X-Men spoof -- The Yes Men. The story here is an improvement over the first issue, and the subplot involving Gun Fury's hemorrhoids actually serves a purpose other than providing some mildly gross gags. This issue's main target was the seemingly never-ending, ever-present X-Men crossovers that Marvel was dishing out during the late-1980s--and into the 1990s, as well as the big-boobed women that became increasingly common in the pages of comics. I was never much of an X-Men reader--the mutant stories in "Marvel Comics Presents" was all that I followed--and the incessent crossovers into titles I DID follow were a contributing factor to my getting away from Marvel Comics (except when I had to read them for work purposes). For this reason, some of the humor in this issue may be lost on me, but them being cast as basically a fetish sex club was something I found very amusing. Further, over all, the timing of the gags were better in this issue than any one previously; Blair and Cooper seem to have found a perfect rhythm... and this carries through to the end of the series.

Barry Blair and Dave Cooper: Enter the Yes-Men!



Issue #3 skewers two indie comics properties that exploded in popularity during the 1980s, ElfQuest and the Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles. This issue features what is probably the most mature industry commentary featured in all 14 issues in which Gun Fury appeared. Wrapped within the usual, off-color gags, the story takes shots at how art can take a back seat to creativity (with caricatures of ElfQuest creators Wendi and Richard Pini callously exploiting dog-riding elves to enrich themselves) and how putting greed above all else will eventually come back to haunt and destroy creators (or at least their reputation and stature).

This issue may stand out from the rest, in part because the villains here are satirical versions of friends of Blair--and they would eventually hire him to contribute to their expanding ElfQuest fiefdom, in the "New Blood" spinoff series. More care and less vitriol was probably infused into this script than any of the others--although I assume the Pinis were consulted on the jokes, because Richard comes off REALLY badly. (For what it's worth, I had some small dealings with Richard Pini during the early mid-1990s and my last halfhearted attempts to break into comics. He came across as a nice guy.)

The mini-series closes with a Spider-Man spoof, including the sentient suit from "Secret Wars" (which eventually became an even dumber concept via the invention of the Venom and Carnage characters). Story-wise, this issue is on-par with #3, and Blair's comedy version of Peter Parker at his most whiny is hilarious. The only disappointing aspect of this issue is that the art feels unfinished and a bit empty, because the excellent ink wash finishes  are not applied here as they had been in the previous 13 issues. (The panel that opens this post is from "Gun Fury Returns" #4.)

Gun Fury and Ammo by Dave Cooper

 

Like most satire, "Gun Fury Returns" is, to a large extent, a product of its time. Much of the humor will be silent or even baffling to readers who aren't familiar with tropes or controversies or fads that permeating comic books and the comic book industry in the late 1980s/early 1990s. The original 10-issue series was broader based in its humor, in the sense that the pot-shots at fans and creators and publishers involve stereotypes and issues that continue to present day, so in that sense its held up better to the passage of time. As a snap-shot of history and as a irreverent and off-color walk down memory lane for Gen-X comics fans, "Gun Fury Returns" still entertains.

--
For an excellent exploration of the man behind the creation, Barry Blair, click here.

Monday, April 18, 2022

Musical Monday with Garbage

Shirley Manson and Duke Erikson of Garbage in "Queer"

We invite you to start this week with something a little dark and a little twisted that's performed by Garbage, but is anything but garbage! In fact, this is an excellent song supported by a fantastic video.

Queer (1995)
Starring: Shirley Manson, Duke Erikson, Butch Vig, and Steve Marker
Director: Stephane Sednaoui
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

Monday, March 7, 2022

Musical Monday with Metallica


Whether you love them or hate them, I don't think you can disagree that "The Unforgiven" is a masterpiece. The video is damn good, too--moving and chilling, like the song it underscores.


The Unforgiven (1991)
Starring: Uncredited Actors & Metallica
Director: Matt Mahurin
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

We're running low on good black-and-white music videos to share, so, starting now, there will be a Musical Monday every other week for the foreseeable future. Thanks for coming by for the past couple years... and we hope you'll keep coming (if a little less frequently).

Monday, January 31, 2022

Musical Monday with Phil Collins

Phil Collins at 70

We wish the great musician and singer Phil Collins a one-day belated Happy Birthday on this Musical Monday! We hope you'll enjoy this classic song and its great video. Like the best music videos, it's something of a mini-movie--and even moreso than most, with humorous inside references and creative use of celebrity look-alikes, stock footage, and trick photography.
 

I Wish It Would Rain Down (1990)
Starring: Phil Collins, Jeffrey Tambor, and Eric Clapton
Director: Jim Yukich
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

Something just came to mind: In some ways, this video encapsulates what goes on at this blog, what with the way it remixes and matches bits and pieces from across the decades while throwing in some commentary and humor.

Monday, November 8, 2021

Musical Monday with Mariah Carey


Today's musical selection is a pretty and romantic song that was written and performed by Mariah Carey. It's got an equally pretty and romantic video. I hope you enjoy it.




While watching the video, I wondered if the girl played by Mariah Carey had been rescued from a shipwreck by the handsome, shirtless lighthouse keeper, or if she was some kind of mermaid, or something else was going on. When I went to capture an image to illustrate this post with, a story formed in my head--or, rather, the underlying threat present in THIS story came back into my mind. 

With that in mind, here are screen shots from the "My All" arranged to show a sirens doing what sirens do with the lighthouse keeper.


THE SIREN OF DEVASTATION POINT
Mariah Carey in "My All"

Mariah Carey in "My All"

Mariah Carey in "My All"

A scene from "My All"

Mariah Carey in "My All"

A scene from "My All"

Mariah Carey in "My All"

Mariah Carey in "My All"

Mariah Carey in "My All"

What was the lighthouse keepers fate? What do you think? Tell us a story in the comments!

Monday, November 1, 2021

Musical Monday with ZZ Top

A pretty waitress is abducted by a monster that is part man, part hamburger, so it's interstellar heroes ZZ Top to the rescue!

ZZ Top in "Burger Man" (1991)

In November of 1991, a music video was released to promote ZZ Top's single "Burger Man". Today, we celebrate the 30th anniversary of a fantastic homage to indie 1950s monster movies and sci-fi flicks.

If you're like us, you once believed that "Sharp-Dressed Man" was the greatest ZZ Top music video ever released. However, if you're like us, you will have your mind changed once you watch "Burger Man". (And even if you're not like us, but a regular visitor to this blog, we think this will at least put a smile on your face.)


Burger Man (1991)
Starring: ZZ Top, Jimmy Pelish, and uncredited actors
Director: Adam Bernstein
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

Sunday, October 31, 2021

A Halloween Treat from Richard Sala!

Here's some comic strip poetry from the great Richard Sala, in observation and celebration of the Big Night! (Click on the panels for larger, more readable versions.)

A Halloween Treat from Richard Sala, Page One
A Halloween Treat from Richard Sala, Page Two

For another bit of rhyming horror humor at Shades of Gray, click here. You can also check out a selection of his color drawings (including several featuring his signature character Peculia, at our sister blog Terror Titans by clicking here.)

Monday, September 27, 2021

Musical Monday with Cher

Next month, it's 26 years since Cher released her version of Marc Cohn's immortal "Walking in Memphis". While I personally prefer Cohn's version, Cher's cover has a lot to recommend it. Depending on your tastes, the hints of Elvis Presley's vocal styles that creeps into her performance here are one of those positive things.

Cher as Elvis in "Walking in Memphis"

Elvis impersonations are also what makes the video for this song interesting to watch. From Cher's Elvis-like facial expressions and lip-curling while sitting and singing on the steps of bus, to her straight-up cross-dressing as Elvis in other sections, it's something to see!


Walking in Memphis (1995)
Starring: Cher 
Director: Marcus Nispel
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Monday, May 31, 2021

Musical Monday with the Spin Doctors

The Spin Doctors were a huge band in the 1990s, with a cheerful indie-flavored pop-rock style. After founding member and lead singer Chris Barron was stricken with a rare form of vocal chord paralyzation in 1999, the band broke up.

The Spin Doctors reformed in 2001 after Barron regained his voice, and they've been performing and touring together ever since--even as individual members have engaged in a few side projects here and there.

On this Musical Monday, we're offering "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors. It's music video is a nice amalgamation of all the things we enjoy here at Shades of Gray... and, if you're not familiar with the song, be warned: If you're anything like us, it will be stuck in your head for at least the rest of the day once you hear it.


Two Princes (1992)
Starring: Mark White, Mark Barron, three anonymous actors, and the rest of the Spin Doctors
Director: Richard Murray
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

(If anyone out there knows who the actors playing the Jester, the Diner Girl, and the Fat Hip-Hop Guy are, please let me know in the comments. I would love to give them credit... but I don't recognize any of them, and my feeble research attempts have come up blank.)

Saturday, May 29, 2021

Look Kids--Comics! (Plus an RPG supplement)

In the mid-1990s, Evan Dorkin published an anthology series at Slave Labor Graphics titled "Dork". It featured a few different series of short comics features (like the sit-com spoof "The Murder Family"), newspaper strip spoofs (like "Myron the Living Voodoo Doll") and random humorous comics ranging in length from one panel to several pages, and from silly to viciously biting. Some were original to the pages of "Dork", and others were reprinted from elsewhere.

Here's a small sample of the comic strips for your amusement! (Selected from "Dork #1".)



--
As an extra-special treat, here's material that lets you incorporate Myron the Living Voodoo Doll into your roleplaying game campaigns.


Myron the Living Voodoo Doll by Evan Dorkin
AN RPG SUPPLEMENT

Design: Steve Miller * Eye Rolls: L.L. Hundal
Based on "Myron the Living Voodoo Doll" by Evan Dorkin
(Myron the Living Voodoo Doll is used without permission... 
and in the hopes that Mr. Dorkin doesn't sic lawyers or Myron on us.)


INTRODUCING MYRON
Myron is the most unusual of voodoo dolls. He is alive, and he wanders about of his own volition. He does not initially seem different from other voodoo doll, but he has the following unique traits:
   * Myron is self-aware and he can speak. If a person thinks to talk to him, he will respond. He will explain his unique nature, but only if asked. (Myron is too busy contemplating the meaningless nature of existence to volunteer information to those he encounters.)
   * Myron can't help but become bonded either to the last person who handles him, or a person that individual chooses to place a curse upon. Whatever harm (or other extreme physical situation, such as being flung across a room) that subsequently befalls Myron also happens to the person who is subject to his inherent voodoo magic. Once bonded to Myron through his voodoo enchantment, (Myron doesn't necessarily want bad things to happen to people, but he is a voodoo doll so he can't help it.)
   * Myron is a tireless wanderer who is forever seeking new horizons. He never remains in one place for more than a few days. He is also one of the greatest escape artists to ever exist. Once he decides it's time for him to move on, there is nothing that prevent him from doing so. (Myron is completely immune to magic that tries to bind him or keep him trapped. Any such attempts cause him to teleport to a random location far, far away... while the person who attempted to magically trap him is subjected to Myron's inherent voodoo curse.)
   * If Myron is destroyed, he reforms 1d6 days later at a random location (see "Where in the World is Myron?, below). If someone had intentionally tried to destroy him that person is now subject to Myron's inherent voodoo curse--until it is shifted onto someone else. (Myron cannot be destroyed by any conventional--or even unconventional--means. The only ways to put an end to his existence and the inherent voodoo curse he carries is to either convince him that he doesn't exist via philosophical debate, or to bring him into the presence of God [the Clockmaker, the Creator, the Big Guy Himself], which will make Myron realize that existence is not meaningless.)

HOW DO THE HEROES ENCOUNTER MYRON? (Roll 1d6)
This table is used to both determine how the party first meets Myron, as well as how they might randomly encounter him again later. 

1-2. They find him among the property of a foe they've just defeated.
3. One of them receives a package from an unknown sender. Myron is inside.
4. His is found laying outside one of their homes.
5. A friend (or even an enemy) contacts them and begs them to track Myron, because he or she has fallen victim to Myron's curse and is suffering from random injuries and other mishaps.
6. He drops into one of their laps. Literally.

The GM should roll 1d20 once per game month after the party's first experience with Myron is resolved. On a roll of 1, they cross paths with him again.



WHERE IN THE WORLD IS MYRON (Roll 2d20)
This table is used to determine where Myron can be found.

2. On a city street
3. In a daycare center
4. In a prison
5. In a city dump
6. At a train station
7. At a bus depot
8. By the sea shore
9. Along a busy highway
10. Along a country road
11. In the highlands
12. In a swamp
13. In a forest
14. In a jungle
15. In a desert
16. On a golf course
17. In a school
18. At a construction site
19. In the mountains
20. In a coal mine
21. In a cemetery
22. In a war zone
23. In a crack house
24. In a teenaged girl's bedroom
25. In a teenaged boy's bedroom
26. In a church
27. In a mosque
28. In a synagogue
29. In a serial killer's lair
30. In a politician's office
31. Floating on a lake
32. On a weather balloon
33. Floating on a river
34. In a high-rise office building
35. In a top secret government lab
36. On Paradise Island
37. On Gilligan's Island
38. At John Wick's house
39. At the home of a player character's loved ones
40. At a NASA or other space-exploration launch site.


HOW LONG DOES MYRON STAY? (Roll 1d6)
Myron stays in any given area for a limited amount of time, even if the party arranges for him to be trapped (as indicated in "Introducing Myron"). This table determines how long he can be found in the area determined by rolling on "Where in the World is Myron?"

1. 24 hours
2. 48 hours
3. 72 hours
4. 1d6 days
5. 1d6 weeks
6. 1d20+10 hours
   After the indicated period of time has passed, the GM rolls on on "Where in the World is Myron?" to determine where he can next be found.

DAMAGE SUFFERED FROM VOODOO CURSE (Roll 1d12)
Each day, it's relevant to determine if a character is injured due to being subject to Myron's inherent  voodoo curse, the GM must roll 1d12. On a "12" he or she rolls on the table below to determine what harm comes to the sufferer. If 1-2 hit points are taken, the character suffers minor discomfort or a sudden appearance of bruises or mild burns. Anything beyond that is painful and possibly lethal. Charactes may roll appropriate saving throws and benefit from any resistances to types of damage they may possess.
   Myron is destroyed if he takes more than 30 hit points of damage. He reappears at a random location 1d6 days later. While Myron is out of commission, there is no need to see if a cursed character suffers an injury.

Types and Amount of Damage
1. Cold Damage: 2d10
2. Crushing Damage: 2d10
3. Drowning Damage: 2d10
4. Electrical/Energy Damage: 2d10
5. Falling Damage:  2d10
6. Fire Damage: 2d10
7. Cold Damage: 4d10
8. Crushing Damage: 4d10
9. Drowning Damage: 4d10
10. Electrical/Energy Damage: 4d10
11. Falling Damage:  4d10
12. Fire Damage: 4d10

'Myron the Living Voodoo Doll' by Evan Dorkin


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