Bones Coffee's What the Fluff?!

Bones Coffee...whenever we think we're at the end of what they have to offer, they spring a new flavor on us! And more often than not, the artwork on the packaging is just as much fun to look at as the coffee is to drink!

She's dancing along the boardwalk, in search of coffee and cotton candy!

 

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: WHAT THE FLUFF?!

The marketing department and roasters at Bones Coffee once again take a shot at answering a question that no one asked: "What would it taste like if we dipped a bunch of cotton candy in a cup of coffee?" (Or maybe the truck delivering beans to the roastery collided with a cotton candy vendor towing is booth to the county fair... and they figured, "What the hell, let's go with it!" OR maybe it came about the same way many of the ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game supplements came about... we thought of a great title and then came up with the product to match it.)

And calling this blend What the Fluff?! is brilliant. It immediately made me curious about what it might be. The cartoon on the packaging was also weird enough to pique my interest further, because it made me go "what the f--- is he doing with those teddy bears? it even provides a third option for the speculation about this blend's origin above: The Bones Mascot harvested the demonic essences from evil teddy bears and then used that evil for good by bringing the world another amazing coffee flavor.

When the bag is first opened, there is the unmistakable smell of those magically spun bits of flavored and colored sugar we refer to as cotton candy. It wasn't as strong an aroma as some Bones blends, but it was strong enough to kick up the anticipation. As the coffee brewed, and as I poured the first cup, that sweet, somewhat undefinable aroma hung in the air. Again, it wasn't as strong as some Bones offerings, but it was unmistakable.

When I tried the coffee without anything added, it had a pleasant taste, with the coffee and a flavor I couldn't quite place mixing so mellowly that I could probably drink it this blend black. An aftertaste started to build as I drank more--bitter and sour--but that could just have been a natural effect from the coffee... one I rarely notice because I drank more of this black than I normally would have in an attempt to identify the flavor. It seemed vaguely berry-like, but I wasn't sure and thought that maybe I was just assuming that because Bones seems to excel at berry-flavored coffee. (But I wasn't surprised that the flavor didn't seem to quite line up with the aroma... that is something I've experienced with Bones blends before.)

When I added unsweetened almond milk to the blend, I found that the liquids did not mix at all well. The vaguely berry flavor was still there, but a dirt-like flavor emerged. It still didn't taste like cotton candy, though... which I guess is a good thing, because coffee that tastes like a cotton candy stick that's been dropped in the dirt would be depressing.

When I tried What the Fluff?! with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer, the berry flavors really popped and that strange aftertaste that was present when I drank it black became very muted but it never completely went away. I still didn't notice any cotton candy; maybe I just don't know what cotton candy tastes like? At room temperature, the flavors remained mostly as they were when the blend is consumed hot, aftertaste and all.

This blend worked best when iced, either black or mixed with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. I still don't think I was put in mind of cotton candy while drinking this, but the berry flavors were great, almost softdrink-like. Unfortunately, that aftertaste was still present... and it was joined by a touch of the saltiness that sometimes emerges in Bones Coffee blends when they are consumed iced. Both the aftertaste and the saltiness were very mild, but they built in my mouth as I consumed the blend  iced, so perhaps it's only an issue if you drink your coffee by the mugful instead of a more civilized coffee cup size. 

As I swallowed the final mouthful of What the Fluff?! that I'd brewed from the sample pack I'd gotten, I still had not figured out what the berry flavor was. I wondered if "berry flavor" is what cotton candy tasted like, and I was just misremembering. And, honestly, I couldn't tell you what cotton candy tastes like, but I feel certain that it's not what this coffee tastes like.

And I can't help but think that the people at the Bones Coffee Company eventually came to the same conclusion. The package states What the Fluff!? is just cotton candy flavored, but if you go to the Bones Coffee website, it describes the blend as tasking like "sweet cotton candy flavor with a twist of fresh berry."

It seems that maybe they made a blend that has a mixed berry flavor with a twist of sweet cotton candy? Or, like I said, maybe my mind and tastebuds are playing tricks on me, and I have idea what cotton candy is supposed to taste like.

Even if I feel like it didn't quite hit the mark, I think this is an okay blend to drink black or with creamers... so long as you don't drink alot of it too fast, because of that aforementioned aftertaste. If you're a fan of other of Bones' berry-flavored coffees, I suspect you might like this one, too.

And, if you want that pure cotton candy flavor, or can't get your hands on some of the What the Fluff?! blend, you can always follow the example of this lovely lady (as photographed by Nina Leen). Just head down to the nearest boardwalk or traveling carnival! 

Hey, you could even try dipping the cotton candy in a cup of coffee to see what happens. (Although people might look at you like the cotton candy vendor in the background of that last shot.)

Bones' Strawberry Cheesecake Chocolate Edition

In this week's coffee review, we return to the flavor-filled world of Bones Coffee!

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: 

STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE CHOCOLATE EDITION

I think I am closing in on having tried and reviewed 50 different offerings from the Bones Coffee Company. I've loved most of them, and I can only remember finding one of them completely vile: the Strawberry Cheesecake blend. (If you haven't read that review, maybe you should. I refer to it quite a bit in this one.)

But a few weeks ago, I noticed that Bones was taking a second run at the blend, reformulating it and adding a "Strawberry Cheesecake Chocolate Edition" blend to their line-up. While I am not going to subject myself to the basic Strawberry Cheesecake blend again, I love chocolate enough that I am willing to give them a chance with this variant. Plus, more often than not, Bones has delivered coffees that delighted me.

Sophia Loren feels dubious about this coffee-tasting adventure.

When I opened the bag of Strawberry Cheesecake Chocolate Edition, I immediately became nervous, because the smell of strawberries that wafted up from it was every bit as powerful as it had been with the original Strawberry Cheesecake blend. When it brewed, though, the aroma wasn't quite as pervasive and overwhelming as what had permeated through my entire home when I made a pot of the original blend. What hadn't changed was that the smell was something akin to candied strawberries. This was looking more and more like a bad idea.

It turned out not to be. The Strawberry Cheesecake Chocolate Edition does not rank among my favorite blends, but it wasn't as horrifyingly terrible as the original. 

First, while it's a fruity, sweet taste is what defines this blend, it did not overwhelm the taste of coffee. When I drank it black, this was a mixed blessing, because the coffee taste was a bit more on the bitter side than I'm used to from a Bones Coffee medium roast. It wasn't terrible, but, for someone who likes their coffee mild, it was a bit much for me. On the plus side, while the sweetness wasn't quite a strawberry flavor, but it was closer than the original.

There was still a bit of a tendency for the flavor to grow stronger as you drain the cup or mug, but not to the degree that the original blend did. Although I couldn't detect much in the way of cheesecake flavor when I drank the blend hot (as it had been with the original variety), an undercurrent of chocolate was very much detectable in this reformulated variety, and a flavor of strawberries grew stronger in my mouth the more I drank. Perhaps the chocolate is what kept the horrible, cloying sweetness that made the original blend so vile in check?

When mixed with the Unsweetened Almond Milk, the bitter coffee edge of this blend seemed to become more strongly accented while the Strawberry sweetness and the chocolate faded. Maybe what I perceived as a coffee flavor was something else? Regardless, this blend didn't fare well with the almond milk, whether it was hot or room temperature.

When I tried it with the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer, the effect was pretty much reversed. The bitterness faded and the sweet strawberry flavor returned strongly, mixing with the chocolate and the creamer. It was almost like I was drinking a chocolate covered strawberry. I still did not pick up on any cheesecake, but it was very enjoyable. As this mix cooled to room temperature, I think I some cheesecake flavor finally crept in. Hot or lukewarm, this was good.

Unfortunately, the Strawberry Cheesecake Chocolate Edition blend has something of the same problem that the original version did: A strong salty flavor emerges when it is chilled and iced. It doesn't become undrinkable the way the original one did, but it tastes more like coffee with salt and sugar added than any flavors described on the bag. Adding Unsweetened Almond Milk does not alleviate the problem, but the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer brings out the chocolate a bit, and the resulting flavor is a bit like a salted caramel coffee with a fruity accent. It's an interesting flavor, but not what it should be, based on the bag. On a positive note, the chocolatey flavor does get stronger as you drain your cup while the saltiness remains constant.

But what I liked best of all about Strawberry Cheesecake Chocolate Edition? This blend didn't contaminate my coffee maker the way the original Strawberry Cheesecake blend did. Despite the aroma from the ground coffee being just as strong as the original blend, it did not leave a residue that had to be cleaned off by brewing some non-flavored coffee though it (as I discussed in the article linked at the top).

Anne Hathaway can't lap up Strawberry Cheesecake Chocolate Edition fast enough!

Given how awful the original Strawberry Cheesecake blend was, the Strawberry Cheesecake Chocolate Edition is surprisingly good. Bones Coffee has stated that it's only available for a limited time, which is  shame. This should be the standard blend, and the original should be relegated to the graveyard of failed coffee flavors. It's not perfect, but it is a vast improvement.

What Is Basic Coffee? Read On for the Answer!

In drinking all sorts of different coffees over the past year, I have found the answer to a question I wasn't even considering: What is Basic Coffee?

Basic Coffee is that kind of coffee that tastes like, well, coffee. It doesn't matter who roasted it, it doesn't matter who markets it, or how. It doesn't matter what you put in it. It doesn't matter whether you drink it hot, room temperature, or iced. So long as the coffee flavor isn't completely drowned by milks, creamers and/or booze, Basic Coffee tastes like you think basic coffee tastes like.

I discovered Basic Coffee by accident. Like many great discoveries, I stumbled upon knowledge rather than actively sought it out. Now, I share that knowledge with you! (And for those who can't stand the suspense, Basic Coffee is that which is grown in Colombia.)

That feeling when you want Black Excitement, but all you have is Basic Coffee

 
UNKNOWN BRAND: WHOLE BEANS COLOMBIAN

A friend of mine sent me a bag of medium roast, unground Colombian coffee he got at an indie grocery store in Florida. It came a brown bag with the contents identified by someone handwriting a note on it. This was from the same source, and in the same kind of packaging, as the very excellent Tanzanian Peabody coffee I wrote about a few months ago. Needless to say, I had high hopes for this.

Since this was "just" coffee with no flavors or other fancy flourishes added, the grinding and brewing held no surprises: Just a pleasant coffee smell. The same was true as I poured the first cup. The aroma was pleasant and exactly what I would expect it to be.

I drank the first cup of this coffee, hot and black. It was a decent enough medium roast, and, as anyone who's been reading these articles for a while know, even the mild bite of this coffee was a bit much for me. So I added some sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer, and I found myself enjoying the drink a lot more. The flavor was stable as the coffee cooled to room temperature, and it remained tasty.

Next, I tried it with Unsweetened Almond Milk. There were, once again, no surprises. It was coffee with Unsweetened Almond Milk. It put me in mind of late nights at work. I tried adding half a packet of Stevia to the mix, but it remained a blandly diluted coffee flavor. As it cooled to room temperature, the taste remained just as bland. Trying it with a Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk was better (with no Stevia needed), but it was the flavor of vanilla that brought the drink to life, no so much anything that the coffee had to offer. Nothing here was bad... just not something to shout from the rooftops about.

When I drank this Colombian Antigua blend over ice, the results were the same: "Yup... that's coffee. And that's coffee with stuff added."

As I finished my notes on this blend, I wondered to myself if all the flavored coffees I've been reviewing over the past year (like the many fabulous Bones Coffee offerings) had spoiled me. I didn't THINK normal coffee had been spoiled for me--after all, I didn't find Signature Select's Sun-Kissed Blonde nor Bones Coffee's Costa Rica Single Source blends unremarkable. Sure... I'd gotten into the mindset that drinking coffee had to be an "experience" (which was new), but I still understood that regular coffee is regular coffee. Or did I?

The answer began to dawn on me when I made a mistake and brewed a different pot of coffee than I had intended to. 

COFFEE BEANERY: COLOMBIAN

Shortly after my experience with the freshly ground, unimpressive Colombian coffee discussed above, I accidentally brewed a pot of the single-source Colombian blend from Coffee Beanery. My intent had been to drink and review their Michigan Cherry flavored blend (so my introduction to a new caffeine source would be something I was almost certain to love), but I grabbed the wrong package and realized my mistake too late.

It turned out to be an enlightening experience, because everything about the Colombian blend from Coffee Beanery was EXACTLY like the Colombian. There was nothing terrible about any of the results from what I mixed it with or what temperature I drank it at. This was a fine-tasting, medium roast coffee. In fact, it was pretty much spot-on what I would expect a fine-tasting medium roast coffee to be. 

Just to make sure that I could not detect any major differences in flavor between the Coffee Beanery offering and the Colombian whole beans the friend had sent me, I ground some and brewed a new pot. Again, my reaction was, "Yup. It's coffee. It's not bad, it's not great. It's just average coffee."

I couldn't even discern the difference between freshly ground coffee and pre-ground coffee that aficionados like to talk about. While it's true that Coffee Beanery claims to roast and grind in small batches, and I brewed their Colombian variety on the very same day I received the samples I ordered from them, I should have been able to detect the difference in freshness between the two? Was this confirmation of my long-time stance on snobbish talk about how freshly ground coffee is much better-tasting than pre-ground stuff is just so much psychosomatic claptrap? 

Maybe my taste buds aren't refined enough. Maybe I'm not decanting it properly. But whether it was the very freshly ground Colombian, or the pre-ground Colombian shipped to me through the mail, the tastes were identical.

The conclusion I was coming to was that Colombian coffee is "just coffee" to me... it's a flat baseline against which all other coffees are judged as either inferior or superior. I had just never been aware of this being the case. (I began my coffee-drinking ways with Gevalia Kaffe in Denmark, with what I suspect was a light-roast consisting of a blend of Colombian and other sources. All I knew was that I liked it with milk and sugar.)

I did one more test before making up my mind. For that, I turned to what's been the main go-to supplier of coffee review fodder for the past year: Bones Coffee!

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: COLOMBIA SINGLE ORIGIN

Bones Coffee's Colombia Single Origin came my via their World Tour Sample Pack. It became the third and final component to convincing me that Colombian coffee is the world's most basic coffee.

Why? Because the Colombia Single Origin blend tasted like the Coffee Beanery Colombian blend, which tasted like the no-name Colombian medium-roast beans when they were freshly ground and immediately brewed. When mixed with my standard reviewing additives of Unsweetened Almond Milk, sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer--and even trying it with a few other variations, like Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk, Unsweetened Dark Chocolate Almond Milk, or black with Stevia added--the only reaction I had was, "Yum. This is tasty and completely unremarkable coffee. It's not bad, it's not amazing... it's just basic."

For a more complete evaluation of Bones' Colombia Single Origin, I refer you to the first review in this article. If I were to actually write this one up, I would be saying the exact same things.

THE OFFICIAL BASIC COFFEE

So... having consumed Colombian medium-roast coffee from three different roasteries, and with one of those three being brewed from the much-praised freshly ground beans, and having the exact same thought about all three, I have determined that coffee grown in Colombia is Basic Coffee.

If you're looking for a coffee that's relatively mild and free of any unexpected aftertastes or curious sub-flavors, this is the coffee for you. Colombian delivers the basic coffee experience with frills and no drawbacks. It's probably also the ideal foundation if you're the kind of person who likes creating their own flavored blends or other mad science experiments involving coffee.

(OR IS IT?)

I have declared Colombian coffee to be the world's Basic Coffee, and unofficial polling of followers on my social media accounts established that those who had an opinion didn't disagree with my nomination. That said, if I had begun by coffee-drinking ways with Vietnamese coffee, perhaps THAT would be "Basic Coffee" to me. We'll never know.

If you have any thoughts on what is or isn't Basic Coffee, go ahead and leave a comment below. I'd love to hear what more people think about my conclusions on this question that I don't think anyone even asked.

Juan Valdez and his burros laboring to bring the world tasty (if basic) coffee

Bones Coffee's Sumatra Single Origin

I checked out another unflavored coffee, and it became the subject of this Sunday's review.

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: SUMATRA SINGLE ORIGIN
Among Bones' offerings is a "World Tour Sample Pack" that features five different coffees from five different parts of the world. I already did a kinda-sorta review of the Bones Costa Rica Single Source blend (in the lower half of this linked post), but I will be covering all the World Tour varieties eventually. And here are my thoughts on the Sumatra Single Source blend.

As could perhaps be deduced from above, this review is based on a 4-oz. sample pack, as are most of my Bones Coffee reviews. Unsurprisingly, the package released a smell of coffee when opened, and a nice strong aroma filled the kitchen as the hot water percolated through the ground coffee.

Unlike most coffees I drink and review, this blend is a dark roast, and, based on what I read, that is the best approach to Sumatran-grown beans. In general, Sumatran coffees are said to have earthy undertones, along with hints of herbs and spices. Bones' sell-copy for their Sumatran blend stated it should have earthy and smoky qualities, and that there should be some dark chocolate flavor in the mix. (I also read that, like with most coffee growing regions, there is no one-flavor-fits-all... that there are many factors that go into shaping the taste in a particular coffee. So I suppose chocolate touches in place of herbs and spices could be possible?)

As dark roasts go, I found the Sumatra Single Origin to be quite pleasant-tasting. Even drinking it black, I found it to be far less bitter than almost any other dark roasts I've had. I credit the supposed chocolatey undertones as well as the somewhat smokey quality that was definitely present as I drank. This is a strong and bold coffee that I think most coffee lovers will enjoy.

As someone who likes his coffee on the sweeter and mellower side, I preferred the Sumatra Single Origin blend when I drank it with the sugar free Italian Sweet Cream creamer, because, well, it was sweet and creamy with the coffee flavor still standing strong. It kept more of an edge when I tried it with the Unsweetened Almond Milk, but a packet of Stevia pushed it more in the perfect direction. In a small deviation from my usual review protocol, I tried a cup of Sumatra with Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk; the vanilla flavor and chocolate undertones seemed to enhance each other, and this was a very enjoyable drink. A touch more vanilla, and I suspect it might have been perfect.  All of the above remained true as the mixtures cooled to room temperature.

Over ice, I think the Sumatra Single Origin worked best black with a little Stevia added (which surprised me). It was also quite delicious with the Unsweetened Almond Milk. Interestingly, the coffee flavor seemed a bit washed out when I tried it with the sugar free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. Over all, though, I think this is a coffee that works best hot or at room temperature.

(That said, since I thought this blend might get tastier with a stronger touch of vanilla, I tried it in my half-assed version of a "White Russian", but using Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk and vanilla flavored vodka... and it was very, VERY tasty!)

Despite having enjoyed, to a greater or lesser degree, every cup of the Sumatra Single Origin blend that drank, I will probably avoid Sumatran coffee in the future. Why? Because while I've often heard that coffee is supposed to give you gas, this is the first time my buzz has resulted in exhaust fumes.

So... if you're ever trapped with me and five other people in a lift and you are trying to figure out who dealt what you have smelled, ask what I've been drinking coffee-wise. If I've been drinking Sumatran coffee, you will have to look no further.

Bones Coffee's Paradise Pie

Does coffee taste better when you're not wearing pants? We here at Shades of Gray have been conducting a study, and we reveal our findings at the end of this post. But before that, here's another review of a flavored blend from Bones Coffee Company--one that is marketed to drink while not wearing pants!

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: PARADISE PIE

The Paradise Pie blend is one of the many flavors that come and go from the line-up offered by Bones Coffee either through their website or at Amazon.com. The fun with this one begins before you open the bag, because it's among the many of their offerings that features a drawing of the Bones Coffee mascot in a funny situation. In this case, our skeletal friend is relaxing in a hammock while eating pie and not wearing pants. 

When opening the bag, there's a sweet smell of sugary key lime that is definitely reminds one of key lime pie flavor that this blend is supposed to reflect. That aroma is also faintly present in the air as the coffee brews: It's not as strong as what can be experienced with other Bones flavored blends, but it mirrors the aroma of the coffee as its poured.

When I tried to coffee black, the key lime flavor was present as a slight sweetener blended in with the mellow medium-roast flavor. It wasn't quite enough to make me want to drink this blend without adding milk or creamer, but I think people who like their coffee with just a touch of sweetener (be it sugar, honey, or some variety of fruit juice) will like this just as it is. Further, as the coffee cools, the key lime flavor grows more evident.

I put this blend through the usual taste tests that I do with coffees I drink for these posts. As mentioned above, I start with trying it black. I then move onto Unsweetened Almond Milk and then sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. All three versions are consumed hot, as they cool to room temperature, and iced.

I found that I liked the Paradise Pie blend best when it was mixed with the Unsweetened Almond, and I really liked the way the key lime flavor seemed to grow stronger as the coffee cooled. The key lime flavor mixed less well with the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer; it was okay when the coffee was hot, but as it cooled, the flavors mixed poorly and caused the drink to taste as if I'd made it wiht sour milk. To make sure this wasn't a fluke, or that somehow my creamer had actually spoiled, I tried a second cup with the same mix... and the result was the same.  

Interestingly, the flavors were almost the same when I drank this blend iced, whether I had mixed it with almond milk or the creamer. Naturally, the blend with the creamer was a sweeter than the one with the unsweetened almond milk, but something reminiscent of the graham cracker crust that would be on a key lime pie had crept into the mix. Whether it was this additional flavor--which was little more dominant in the cup of iced Paradise Pie with Unsweetened Almond Milk--or just that the drink was chilled further, the sour milk taste that was present at room temperature was no longer in evidence. I am also happy to report that this is not one of those Bones blends that have a strong saltiness when iced. I should also note that this blend is also quite pleasant straight black when iced.

The Paradise Pie blend is a drink of extremes that works best when it's hot or iced, whether you drink it black or mixed with milk or creamer. Overall, I think it counts as another win for the Bones Coffee Company, even if it's not quite as versatile as some of their other blends. (Although, speaking of versatile, I did try a cup of it iced with vodka. That was also an excellent combination.)

As for the question that an answer was promised to at the top--does coffee taste better if you drink while wearing pants or if you drink it when not wearing pants? Everyone at the Shades of Gray offices were drafted for a very scientific study. See the bottom of the post for the results.

 

The Science Is Settled: Coffee Tastes Better When You're Not Wearing Pants!

Bones Coffee's Holy Cannoli

It's time for another opinion about coffee I've been drinking. I hope you all appreciate my oh-so-great sacrifices on your behalf--I try weird flavored blends so you don't have to. Oh, the sacrifice!


BONES COFFEE COMPANY: HOLY CANNOLI
First, let me confess that I have no idea what a cannoli tastes like. I gather it's some sort of Italian dessert cake, but no Italian restaurant that I can access conveniently has them on their menus. So, for all I know, the Bones Company completely missed the boat on this one. But, from where I sit, it doesn't matter for a number of reasons.

First, the packaging of this blend made me smile, with its reference to the iconic poster for "The Godfather" film. As I've indicated in some of my previous coffee reviews, I'm a sucker for the packaging that invokes movies, so trying this blend was a given.

Second, Holy Cannoli is one of those fragrant Bones blends. There was a sweet, somewhat undefinable smell that rose from the package when I opened it. That same smell wafted from the kitchen to my office as the pot brewed. It remained strong as I poured the first cup--so strong that I momentarily worried that I might be in for an experience like the one I had with the Strawberry Cheesecake blend--where the flavor was so overwhelming I found it nearly undrinkable and it left residual flavoring in my coffee maker. Thankfully, this was not the case.

Thirdly, despite the strong aroma, the flavor of Holy Cannoli is one that is perfectly balanced by whatever magic that takes place in that mad scientist lab secreted beneath the Bones Coffee roastery. Although I can't quite place the smell, it reminded me of marzipan more than anything else, with perhaps pistachios mixed in. This was my reaction when I drank it black as well; a flavor that I couldn't quite place blended so smoothly with that of the medium-roast Arabica coffee that this was another of those Bones offerings that I could almost drink without adding any creamer or almond milk. ("Almost" because, as I've mentioned previously, it could be argued that I don't actually like coffee--which is why I go for the flavored blends and constantly pour milk and such into even those!)

Is the flavor of Holy Cannoli that of the dessert it's named after? Probably, since it's unfamiliar--but absolutely delightful--to me. And it only got better when I mixed cups of it with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer (which was the obvious one to lead with this time out), then with Unsweetened Vanilla Almost Milk, and then straight Unsweetened Almond Milk. In all three instances, the flavor profile remained steady, with the additions of creamer or milk enhancing the flavor while taking the edge off the coffee... by teasing out a creaminess to the blend that wasn't there when I drank it black. Unsurprisingly, the blend leaned most heavily toward the sweet and creamy when I drank it with the creamer, but the addition of vanilla almond milk was also great tasting. The perfect balance, though, seemed to come when I tried a cup with both the creamer and the normal unsweetened almond milk added; out of the variations I tried, this was my favorite one to drink hot, and at room temperature.

When I drank Holy Cannoli over ice, the flavor profile remained steady if growing a bit muted. The almond milk really made the marizipan-like flavor pop when the drink was iced, and the vanilla almond milk likewise mixed nicely with the existing flavors. The sugar-free Italiam Sweet Cream creamer overwhelmed the drink's flavor profile, but it's possible I added a little too much to the last sample cup. One other thing that made this a great cold drink: That saltiness that is present in several of the Bones blends they're consumed over ice was nowhere to be found here.

All-in-all, Holy Cannoli is another great flavored offering from Bones Coffee Company. I have no idea if it tastes like you melted a cannoli into a mug of coffee, but I liked it so much that I don't really care. Whether the taste was spot-on or completely off the mark, this was a great-tasting beverage, whether I had it hot, room temperature, or iced. I recommend it to those out there looking for a coffee that's sweet and a little different.

And speaking of different: Here's an amusing ad that Bones Coffee Company produced to promote the Holy Connoli blend. 

  

Bones Coffee's Carrot Cake

What does the Easter Bunny drink during his breaks? I have the answer... and I also tell you whether it's something I think YOU should drink!

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: CARROT CAKE
Carrot Cake is another cake-inspired blend based on medium-roasted Arabica beans, from a company that specializes in flavored coffees. This is one of those blends that they seem to rotate with their seasonal offerings, so it's not always available. (I don't know if they intentionally made it available around Easter time, or if it was just coincidence, but it worked out perfectly for my purposes.)

Based on customer comments, this is a much-loved variety, and long-time Bones Coffee customers are happy to have it back. But is it really deserving of their love? Not all Bones blends are good--some are downright undrinkable--so what about this one?

Like most of my Bones reviews, this one is based on a 4-oz. sample pack (which I've been ordering 5-10 at a time, and working my way through at the rate of one every three-four days). 

When I first opened the package, I detected a faint whiff of Carrot Cake. As the coffee brewed, however, there was no particular aroma that could detected from the coffeemaker other than. Experiences has shown that... well, that sometimes Bones blends are fabulously aromatic and not so fabulously tasting, or no more aromatic than your average coffee but deliver great flavor from the cup. Experience has also shown that there can be great variation in flavors depending on how a blend is consumed and what is added to it, with the same type of coffee being magic in the mouth, or a terror to the taste buds.

 

When I poured the first cup, a vaguely sweet smell rose from the cup. When consumed it hot and black, the flavor of carrot cake mixes pleasantly with that of coffee. Although it was still had a little too much bite for my weak palate, I can see myself drinking this without any milk or creamer added if none were available. That said, I could not really taste the cream cheese icing that supposedly should also be present here, but the carrot cake definitely came through.

Interestingly, when I tried this with Unsweetened Almond Milk, the coffee flavor was drawn out while the carrot cake flavor retreated; the almond milk make this taste more like straight, black coffee than it did when I drank it straight. As the coffee cooled, though, the sweeter undertones of carrot cake reemerged--and this time, the icing flavor was there, too. At room temperature, it was a GREAT-tasting coffee beverage!

I was already beginning to write this article in my head as I moved onto trying a cup of Carrot Cake with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer--but my first sip of this next cup reminded me about the hazards of leaping to conclusions. Where the almond milk obscured the carrot-cakeness of this blend when it was hot, the creamer brought it powerfully and tastily to the fore, cream cheese frosting flavor and all. As the coffee cooled, the enhanced carrot cake and icing flavor remained stable and strong. A great drink was even better with the creamer added.

To my great delight, the Carrot Cake blend also works over ice. I have come to fear disappointment during this, typically my final taste test for these reviews; several Bones blends become incredibly salty when consumed ice, some to the point where it's like drinking coffee with actual salt added.

This did not happen with Carrot Cake, thankfully. Instead, when consumed over ice, the flavors of coffee and carrot cake mix in a mellow fashion, as they did when I drank the blend straight. When iced, both the almond milk and the creamer made the flavors of carrot cake and icing pop, although not to the degree when the coffee is consumed at room temperature. Still, it tasted great.

Carrot Cake is another excellent offering from Bones. If you're looking for a nice dessert coffee or just something sweet, you should check this one out before it leaves the rotation again. You can check out what Bones Coffee has on their website by clicking here, or you can see what's available at their store on Amazon. 

Summer Dreaming... with Coffee

Lately, I've been drinking varieties of the black miracle juice that make me think of summer... and in this post, I'm going to let you know what I think of them!

The Shades of Gray gang may have fun in the sun,
or we may just join this gentleman for a quiet cuppa out of doors!

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: SHARK BITE

Nothing says summer fun and frolicking at the beach than shark attacks. So... this is a summer-themed coffee, right?

Shark Bite is the third rum-flavored variety from Bones I reviewed. Almost everything I said about the Coconut Rum and Highland Grog applies to Shark Bite: This is a smooth, medium roast-based blend where the flavor of rum dominates but mixes easily with that of coffee and other augmenting flavors. The flavor profile remains strong and consistent whether the drink is consumed hot, at room temperature, or chilled and over ice. The saltiness that sometimes creeps into Bones offerings as they cool also does not manifest itself in this blend.

Shark Bite is set apart from the two similar Bones offerings by having a hard-to-describe flavor that seems almost cinnamon-y as you start drinking, but the taste becomes sweeter as you get to the bottom of your cup. The rum flavor and the spiciness of the drink also seem to trade places as you drink, with the spice being the first thing you notice initially, but eventually the sweet undertones of rum become the dominant flavor. Underneath it all, is a constant foundation of smooth coffee.

If you liked the other two rum-flavored blends, but think you'd want a little more spice in the mix, then this is the one to go with. Another reason you might want to try try Shark Bite is that drinking it just a remarkable experience. 

Bones Coffee makes humorous ads (such as this one) where they tout the notion that drinking their coffee is an experience rather than just an act of sustaining ones existence. While most of their flavored coffees are exceptional beverages, and I've used the word "experience" in describing the act of consuming them, I think that I say that Shark Bite is quite literally an experience. It's remarkable the way the flavor shifts as you consume it. This is definitely one of the more interesting blends Bones has brought to market--and what with this being the 37th of their offerings I've reviewed, I think I can make that statement with authority.

I would be amiss if I didn't commend Bones Coffee Company on yet another entertaining and evocative cartoon on the front of their package. I hope our friend Bones recovers his arm from the shark though!

SIGNATURE SELECT'S SUN-KISSED BLONDE 

Is coffee sexy? Well, I usually wouldn't think so--Folger's television ads aside--but when I saw the bags of Signature Select's Sun-Kissed Blonde on the shelf at Safeway, something along this line popped into my head:

It goes without saying, I bought a bag... because if I hadn't, I couldn't be writing this review.

Signature Select's Sun-Kissed Blonde is described on the package as a light roast... which means it could be a blonde roast as that's something of a shifting definition. The flavor of this coffee is almost mild and sweet enough that it could be a blonde roast, although it does have a little more of the bite that you find in darker roasts than was present in the Iced Blonde from Starbucks which is officially described as a blonde roast.

(A "blonde roast", by the way, is the lightest possible roast. It's basically a roast for coffee drinkers who aren't terribly fond of the typical coffee taste; at least in my book, the darker the roast, the more bitterness there is to the coffee and the more it tastes like what I think of as "traditional coffee"... and the more sugar or milk/creamer it needs before it's drinkable. Blonde roasts are almost mild enough that I can drink a cup without adding anything--almost. Blonde roasts are also ones that you should stay away from if you have stomach issues--the resulting brews are more acidic than darker roasts.)

The thing that I noticed primarily about Sun-Kissed Blonde is that it was every bit as mild as the package promised. The "nutty" undertones weren't noticable until I added almond milk or creamer but then they really popped. I suppose this means this blend behaves like a number of blondes out there--they're demure until they have some liquid refreshments and then they turn nutty!

All joking about blondes aside, I tried Sun-Kissed Blonde with a couple different agendas in mind. First, could it be a possible replacement for the pre-made Starbucks Iced Blonde--a bag of this will yield roughly 1.5 - 2 times the amount of coffee as the Starbucks bottles, for about 2/3rds the price. Second, would it be a good foundation for making my own "flavored coffees"?

Addressing the second agenda first, I put Sun-Kissed Blonde through all the usual tests--drinking it black, with Unsweetened Almond Milk, and then with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer; it all three ways, I drank it both hot, at room temperature, and chilled over ice. I enjoyed it in all three modes, although my favorite standard test mode was drinking it hot with the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. Additionally, the Sun-Kissed Blonde blend went great with Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk when hot... and it mixed great with vodka and Unsweetened Chocolate Almond Milk when I used it to make one of my half-assed homemade variant on a White Russian. 

This blend as worked extremely well when used as the foundation for my home-made chocolate-flavored coffee (which involves mixing ground coffee with dark cocoa powder), regardless of whether I drank it hot, room temperature, or over ice. I have been using medium-roasts from a variety of outlets for this, but I liked the results not only with the chocolate but also with the vodka. This coffee really sang when mixed with vanilla- and cherry-flavored vodka, too.

Which takes me back back to the first first agenda: How effective is Sun-Kissed Blonde as a replacement for Starbucks' Iced Blonde? Very effective, I say. 

The coffee flavor is stronger with the Sun-Kissed Blonde than it is with the Starbucks Iced Blonde--or at least it weathers mixing with other liquids and flavors better. This could be attributed to different roasting styles, or maybe because I make the coffee stronger than Starbucks does? There's really no way for me to know for sure. The only benefit I can see offhand to having a bottle filled with Starbucks Iced Blonde instead of one filled with chilled Signature Select's Sun-Kissed Blonde is that the Starbucks coffee comes pre-brewed and pre-chilled, so there's ease and instant gratification.

Overall, though, I found Sun-Kissed Blonde to be better-tasting than Iced Blonde. In the future, I'll most likely be taking the cheaper (yet more demanding) path toward having coffee available for drinking iced.

Dr. Victor Frankenstein, demonstrating how flavored coffees are created.
(Mad science plays a part, whether in Steve's kitchen or at a roastery.)

Bones Coffee's Bluesberry

It's Sunday. It's dark and I'm wearing sunglasses. I may or may not be on a mission from God, but it's time for another coffee review.

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: BLUESBERRY
Like most Bones Coffee flavored blends, this one starts with their high-quality, medium-roast Arabica beans, which means they're already off to a good start with a smooth and inherently sweet foundation. It's also worth noting that this another one of their blends that's packaged with a movie pun (like "Army of Dark Chocolate" and "From Dusk Till Donuts", just to name a couple), just to name a few). The package art isn't as amusing as some of the others, but it's up to the company's established standards and on point.

The unpacked Bluesberry grounds smelled strongly of blueberry, and that same wonderful smell rose from the mug as I poured the coffee. Unlike some Bones Coffee offerings, it wasn't strong as the coffee brewed, however.

The blueberry flavor was also not as strong as I drank the coffee. When I drank the Bluesberry blend black, the blueberry flavor was barely present; the taste was as if the coffee had been sweetened with a bit of blueberry juice, but nowhere what I expected based on the aroma when I poured it.

When I drink it with Unsweetened Almond Milk added, the blueberry taste is washed out and the drink tastes like a standard quality medium-roast with almond milk added. It is perhaps a little sweet, but the blueberry flavor is gone.

When I drink it with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer added, the blueberry taste bursts forcefully into the foreground. Here, the coffee flavor is almost drowned out between the creamer and the blueberry flavor. It doesn't become overwhelming or cloying... it just becomes the dominant flavor.

Bluesberry is another one of those Bones blends where the flavors tend to grow stronger as the coffee cools. Whether it's black or cut with the Unsweetened Almond Milk, the blueberry flavor grows stronger in the Bluesberry blend as it cools to room temperature. It doesn't become overwhelming, it just grows more obvious. Curiously, when the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer is mixed in, the flavors seem to rebalance themselves a bit, with the taste of coffee becoming evident again as the drink cools to room temperature. I thought that perhaps I hadn't started with sampling the Bluesberry with creamer added while it was properly hot, so I tried it that way again when I brewed my second pot. The result was the same. Why? Beats me... but then I'm just a daft Humanities sort of guy with very little understanding of all that sciency and chemistry stuff.

When consumed iced--whether black, or with Unsweetened Almond Milk or sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer added--the blueberry flavor is strong, but not so strong that you can't taste the coffee as well. As such, this is a sweet coffee drink that works extremely well iced. It's something to keep in mind for when summer rolls around... and it's 106 miles to Chicago, you've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, and it's dark. 

Bones Coffee: Jamaican Me Crazy

Bones Coffee Company continues to entertain me with fabulous flavors. Here's my take on the latest I've sampled from them!

Bob Marley is wondering why he's here...

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: JAMAICAN ME CRAZY
As with most of Bones Coffee's flavored offerings, the starting point for Jamaican Me Crazy is a medium roast. Although Army of Dark Chocolate showed they are perfectly capable of turning a dark roast into something magical, starting with the mellower, sweeter coffee as a foundation makes it easier to layer flavors on top of the bite of the coffee.

With Jamaican Me Crazy, Bones delivered another aromatic blend that, although not giving off quite as strong a scent as some other blends, gave a preview of what was to come as it brewed. This is a coffee that has a very strong flavor of spiced rum, with an emphasis on the spice. In fact, I was even reminded a bit of Chai as I drank this blend. 

Whether I consumed Jamaican Me Crazy black or with Unsweetened Almond Milk or sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream added, the spices were the dominant flavor in this blend, lingering in your mouth and mixing delightfully with the taste of rum and coffee. This was a blend that I could drink without needing to add anything, and which remained steady in its flavors even as I added the almond milk and creamer. In fact, the spicy nature of the drink seemed to be enhanced with the added liquids.

At room temperature, the flavors were pretty much as they were when the blend was hot. In fact, I think I may prefer this blend after its cooled. (I will have to try a few more mugfuls to know for sure, but I only had a 4-oz sample pack to write this article from.)

Interestingly, when this blend is consumed iced, the coffee flavor all but disappears. A saltiness that mixes nicely with the spice flavor emerges strongly, but the coffee taste is pushed to the background. The salty taste is something I've found happens with a number of Bones blends if you drink them iced, but it seems especially powerful with the Jamaican Me Crazy blend. It also tended to linger on your lips and toungue more than with most, to the point where it almost becomes too much if you don't drink the coffee slowly. Adding Unsweetened Almond Milk or sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer did nothing to cut down on the saltiness, and it barely reduced the spicy flavor--it just make the last vestiges coffee disappear.

I was curious what other people thought, given the flavor shifts when the blend goes through when iced. To my surprise, it appears that everyone appears to be drinking something completely different than what I did, as they talked about the caramel and vanilla flavors. Some of them talked about the caramel and vanilla, others seemed to think it was sweet. While I could perhaps taste a little vanilla in there, I don't know where they got the caramel from... and sweet? Where? When? Of course, those reviews reflect what Bones Coffee themselves say about Jamaican Me Crazy on their website (caramel, , so maybe I got a bad batch? Or maybe I was supposed to drink it after smoking a join or two to unlock hidden flavor profiles? (Heck, maybe that makes this the perfect coffee to drink as you celebrate 4/20 Day next month...)

While I can't explain why my mugs of Jamaican Me Crazy apparently tasted so differently from what everyone has consumed, I think if you liked the Coconut Rum and Highlands Grog blends, you'll enjoy this, too. And then you can let me know if you tasted caramel or not....

Bones Coffee's Chocolate Orange

Sunday mornings are for relaxing in bed, drinking coffee,
and seeing what coffee Steve recommends for future Sundays!

I tried another wacky coffee flavor, and I wrote down some thoughts. 

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: CHOCOLATE ORANGE

This is one of those Bones Coffee offerings I didn't know what to expect from. Coffee and orange; those aren't exactly flavors I think offhand would go well together... and I'm a guy who likes mixing orange juice and Diet Cherry Coke. But, they've surprised and delighted me before, so I hoped they'd do so again.  

(The packaging on this one is another of their film-based cartoons, although it wasn't until I was looking at while the first pot was brewing that I recognized the reference to the chocolate river and Oompa Loompas, and Charlie from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".)

The Chocolate Orange blend is a medium roast, so that already provides a smooth foundation upon which to build... and one which the Bones roasters have shown time and again that they are capable of. Like most of the blends from them that I've reviewed (and will be reviewing), I brewed the coffee from a 4-oz. sample pack of pre-ground coffee.

The aroma from the bag when I opened it was a pleasing mix of coffee and orange and a hint of chocolate. As the coffee brewed, I thought I could smell a faint hint of orange in the kitchen, but the smell was not as strong as it had been with certain other Bones Coffee blends.

When I drank the first hot cup, there was no disearnable aroma from it, but there was a chocolaty taste from and center immediately. It was not overwhelming and it blended perfectly with the coffee flavor. I've previously spoken of my wimpy palate and how I more-often-than-not must cut the coffee I drink with almond milk or creamer. The Chocolate Orange blend has a coffee flavor that is just intense enough that I had to add some Unsweetened Almond Milk after a few sips, and that seemed to bring out the chocolate flavor more strongly while dialing back the coffee. The orange was present as as slight twang, barely noticeable. I didn't try it with the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream, because I was out and the grocery store was out of stock on the day I ordered by groceries.

The tastes remained essentially the same when I tried this cold and over ice, but they were slightly more muted. I think this is a blend that is most enjoyable when it is hot.

 

Bones Coffe's Irish Cream

Ever since I've been writing commentaries and reviews, whether professionally or for fun, I have had one standard: I NEVER intentionally set out to review something that I do not expect to like. Few things in the A&E sphere are more obnoxious than the reviewer or critic who seeks out material in genres or from artists he knows he's going to hate, just so he can savage it. With that said, this review is a bit of a break from my personal standards as a commentator and reviewer... because I went into this expecting not to like the coffee I was tasking myself to drink and review.

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: IRISH CREAM

I am not a fan of Irish Cream coffee, be it the real thing or just a flavored creamer. Maybe it's because I'm not a big whiskey drinker. maybe it's because I've just never had Irish Cream done right, or maybe it's just not for me. Whatever the reason, I don't like it.

Still, as I am running out of Bones Coffee flavors to sample and write about--and with St. Patrick's Day is coming up--I am taking the opportunity to see if Bones can change my mind about Irish Cream via their Irish Cream-flavored coffee. They have surprised me many times since I began writing these articles, and maybe this would be another one of those times. (And even if it wasn't, it wouldn't be a terrible loss, as I ordered this as part of a sampler pack consisted of five flavors.)

Upon opening the package, I didn't notice any particular smell except that of coffee... and maybe a hint of chocolate. Why could I smell chocolate in an Irish Cream-flavored drink? I don't know, but as the coffee brewed, I didn't notice aromas rising from the coffeemaker other than the pleasant aroma of coffee.

Drinking this blend straight was about as I expected it to be. Bones seems to have captured the flavor of Irish Cream just fine with this one, so if you have a hankering for coffee with Bailey's liquor, but you're at work or driving the mini-van with the kids in the back, this is the drink for you. Also, the chocolate I thought I smelled when I first opened the package was nowhere in the flavor profile while I drank it hot and black. Also, the cream aspect of the drink was a little weak--far behind the coffee and whiskey flavors, but that should be easily fixed by not drinking it black, right?

Wrong. As is my habit when drinking these coffees for reviews, I first added Unsweetened Almond Milk to my cup, and I thought that might bring forth the creaminess, and perhaps even unveil the chocolate. It didn't. Instead, it caused the coffee to taste as if I had just poured spoiled milk into it. It was terrible. It was so terrible that I didn't even let the coffee cool to see what it might taste like at room temperature, but instead just dumped it immediately and rinsed out my cup. (I have found that these flavored coffees can taste differently depending on how hot or cold they are, but I wasn't going to subject myself to another mouthful of that terrible swill I had created.)

When I added sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer to a cup of Bones' Irish Cream, the result was far better. It didn't really improve all that much as far as bringing any additional flavors, and I didn't think it mixed all that well with those that were present when the coffee was black. It didn't taste like spoiled milk, but it still had a somewhat sour aftertaste. Maybe if I had some non-fat milk, or even a little whipping cream, to add it might have made it better, but I doubt it.

I then doubled back and tried it with the other kind of almond milk I test these coffees with--Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk. Surprisingly, this worked better with this Irish Cream blend than the sugar-free creamer had. It still didn't add much in the way of creaminess, but the addition of the vanilla made the chocolate undertones creep back out. (Unless... the chocolate flavor was there because I didn't adequately clean the coffeemaker after brewing some Signature Select Light Roast Double-Dutch Chocolate) Well, regardless, Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk was the addition to the Bones' Irish Cream that so far had worked the best!

As the cups with the creamer--and later the almond milk with vanilla--cooled, I found myself liking the flavor even better. This isn't surprising, since I imagine this may be a blend that's supposed to be consumed at room temperature or chilled and over ice; I mean, does anyone drink Irish Cream coffee hot, except for when you're adding those little cups of creamers to your gas station coffee? 

Unfortunately, I found myself unable to recommend this blend over ice. Whether I tried it black, with Unsweetened Almond Milk, or with the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer, when consumed chilled and over ice, the dominant flavor of the Irish Cream blend was one of salty dirt. I've had Bones blends turn salty over ice before, but this dirt flavor is something new. The Irish Cream taste is there, in the distant background and as something of an aftertaste. The dirt flavor a little less prominent with the creamer, so maybe there's just something about the way Bones created this blend that doesn't mix with almond milk? (I confess that I didn't bother trying the blend iced with regular Unsweetened Almond Milk, because it had brought about such a horrible result previously.)

Mike and Buff dance with joy over Irish Cream coffee! Sadly, Steve does not.

I don't know... maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. In the end, I can only say that Bones' Irish Cream blend is not for me, and the only way I feel like even recommend anyone drink it is either balck and hot, or at room temperature. The best part about this product is the packaging--which features another cute and excellent cartoon of the Bones mascot in action. 

I am sorry I didn't like this blend more... but at least I can take this as proof that my typical attitude of not even considering something for review if I suspect I might not like it, is the right attitude to take. 

If you have a take on Irish Cream (Bones Coffee or otherwise), please leave a comment below!