A fun horror movie spoof!

Night of the Living Bread (1990)
Starring: Vince Ware, Katie Harris, Robert J. Saunders, Gina Saunders, Stephen R. Newell, Kevin J. O'Brien, and Steve Heminghausen

Director: Kevin J. O'Brien

Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When a strange explosion at a factory causes bread to animate and attack the living, will anyone survive to see the sun rise again?

"Night of the Living Bread" is a fun, well-executed spoof of the genre-shaping zombie flick "Night of the Living Dead" (1968). In its eight-minute running time, it touches hilariously on all the key scenes and story elements of George Romero's most famous flick... but with the zombies being replaced by slices of bread and hamburger buns.

This is one of those flicks where too much talk by a reviewer will ruin the fun of watching it (which you can do by clicking below, in this very post), so I'll just highlight two things that make this film so good: First, the cast of actors plays everything completely straight (with one exception); this heightens the comedic absurdity of the story. Second, the film has a jump-scare that is so unexpected that even a jaded horror film viewer like myself was startled by it.

Check out this great little flick and have your day brightened. (It will be ten-times more enjoyable if you're familiar with the film its making fun of, but I think it can be enjoyed by any fans of classic horror films.)

Then there's that time the world ended...

Koko's Earth Control (1928)
Starring: Max Fleischer
Director: Dave Fleischer
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

In 1928, the world was destroyed through the actions a psychopathic cartoon dog that gained that power due to the irresponsible behavior of an animator (Fleischer) and his magic ink. Clearly, some superior being must have stepped in and remade the world, or you wouldn't be reading these words, or be able to click below to watch the video evidence of the horror that unfolded.

'The Howling Wind' became even more impactful because of Covid-19 paranoia

The Howling Wind (2020)
Starring: Anthony Arkin, Nicky Boulos, and Mark Silverman
Directors: Lorian Gish and Justin Knoepffel
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

A strange storm carrying a dust cloud that drives people insane has engulfed a rural county. A gruff farmer (Arkin) allows a young stranger (Boulos) to take shelter with him in his house... but soon discovers he may have made a deadly mistake.

"The Howling Wind" is an interesting little chiller that effectively captures not only the look and feel of a 1960s horror film, but it's got a storyline that resonates very strongly due to the way Covid-19 shook up everyone's lives and some of the hysteria that came with it. The film is further lifted by excellent performances from Anthony Arkin (as a gruff but ultimately good-hearted farmer) and Nicky Boulos (as a mysterious young man who may or may not be carrying the deadly plague sweeping through the area).

Of course, the actors were aided by excellent dialog and a clever storyline. One thing that was especially effective was how the film was moved toward its climax by how Arkin's character trusted the media reports about how the plague was being spread through the county and how lethal it was

Also impressive about this short film is the cinematography and lighting. The filmmakers clearly knew how to use the black-and-white media to its full dramatic advantage, something that's not seen often enough in films like this. (That's the second time in recent weeks I've said that; either my trawling through YouTube short films has been yielding better pay-offs of late, or there's a generation of up-and-coming filmmakers who have absorbed what the great black-and-white films of the past had to teach them.)

I recommend you take a few minutes of your day to check out this moody, well-executed film. (If I steered your wrong, let the world know in the comments section. The same is true if there's something great about the film I didn't mention and you want to call attention to!)

Musical Monday with Avatar

I am not a fan of death metal and its growled, incomprehensible lyrics. Generally, when I comment on songs and performers of the genre, I am usually making fun... and, more often than not, Cookie Monster from "Sesame Street" comes up. However, there's an exception to every rule, and this week's Musical Monday selection--"Hail to the Apocalypse" by Avatar--is just that.

And not just because it seems like a fitting song to feature, what with the Covid-19 virus and mania sweeping the world.

"Hail to the Apocalypse" was the title track off of the Swedish death metal band's 2014 album. Although I still can't understand most of the lyrics, I give the song credit for having a better melody than many entries in this subgenre, as well as a vocalist who seems to have more talent than his work here shows. In addition, the video that comes with it is ideal as a feature on this blog: It attempts to capture the feel of silent movies, and, although not entirely successful, the director does a better job than most. There are also some really nice elements to how it is put together (which I won't comment on, because I think it will ruin their impact for viewers).


Hail the Apocalypse (2014)
Starring: John Alfredsson, Jean Kartal, and Tim Öhrström
Director: Johan Carlén
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Only minutes left until the end of the world!!!

The wisdom of the ancients and their screwy calendars can't possibly have been so much crap, can it?! Have you made your peace with yourself and prepared your spirit for the Great New World that is about to emerge?!

The world is still here... for now!

Why does the sun go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don't they know it's the end of the world, 'cause Mayans didn't carve any more?

We're now a little over two months into the year where the world is supposed to end... or so some people think, because some ancient Mayans ended a calendar some time this year. (There's some dispute as to the exact date, but the year is generally agreed upon. By people who apparently don't understand the way calendars tend to work.)

Still, in celebration of us all being here, I present Skeeter Davis performing her signature song "The End of the World".

Apocalypse Corman! (or 'Three actors, three days, and three bucks')

Last Woman on Earth (1960)
Starring: Betsy Jones-Moreland, Antony Carbone, and Robert Towne
Director: Roger Corman
Rating: Two of Ten Stars

A crooked business man (Carbone), his wife (Jones-Moreland), and his young attorney (Towne) through a fluke survive a mysterious disaster that kills every living thing on the surface of Earth's northern hemisphere, perhaps in the entire world. They attempt to forge a life on the now deserted planet, but how long can two men tolerate each other with just one woman between them? Not very long.

There isn't much more to this film that that paragraph. If I told you that one man kills the other, and the remaining couple lives happily ever after, I wouldn't be spoiling the film, because that's the outcome that's set up early on, and it's an outcome that's never in any doubt.

The cinematography and acting is serviceable for a film which was probably written on the back of cocktail napkins, for which much of the dialogue was probably ad-libbed (the only explanation I can think of for inexplicably repeated lines within the same scene), and which was only made because "Creature from the Haunted Sea" wrapped a few days early and director/producer wanted to squeeze as much work out of the cast and crew he had brought to Puerto Rico as possible.

But for a movie that was probably made in a single-digit number of days, it isn't all bad. The characters are interesting in a community theater one-act play sort of way, and the story moves along at a quick pace. While there isn't a whole lot that happens in this film, you can still watch it and not get bored. Antony Carbone is particularly interesting as the crooked business man, mostly because you know that he's going to kill someone before the film's over. The only question is who.

That's not to say that it's necessarily worth watching unless you're interested in what an "artsy" Corman film might look like, or if you want to check out the humble beginnings of the writer of "China Town". But in the final analysis, this is yet another Roger Corman production where the poster art is more interesting than the film itself.

Should we feel sorry for the End-of-Worlders?

Writing on the New Republic website, under the headline "Too Much Judgement: The Media's Shameful, Cruel Obsession With Those Awaiting The Rapture", Tiffany Stanley provides a serious-minded article on the Rapture of May 21 That Didn't Happen (well, there's an hour to go, but the smart money's on "no Rapture today").

For me, the most thought-providing bit was this: "Do the end-timers seem ignorant? Yes. Are they insane? Possibly. But should our reaction to them be chuckling glee or something more like sadness?":

Should we feel sadness that there are people whose lives are so miserable they spend their days dreaming about being taken away to Heaven?

Perhaps.

And we should probably also ask why we take such delight in mocking them. (I know why I do it... I'm a mean-spirited bastard. Don't know about anyone else, though.)