Joan Blondell is stranded...

... on a desert island, after conducting a forced landing of her plane due to mechanical failure. She won't be making it to this year's Shades of Gray Thanksgiving party.

That makes us sad. We're even furthered saddened that she's stranded there with a bale of high-grade ganja and 500 packs of rolling papers that she was brining to the party. 

So while we're sad, she's very happy, and she'll stay that way until rescued.

It's Talk Like a Pirate Day...

... and the Queen of Pirates is here to say:

"Ye may lead yer scurvy scallywags while wearin' 

a hat and high heels and lookin' great!"

"Ye may even learn 'em how to dance ballet!"

"But ye'll never have a more perfect piratin' moniker than the lady Frances Drake!"

Meanwhile, Joan Blondell is just here to hang out and look fabulous!

 

Firearms Friday with Joan Blondell

 

"We can either afford to refit the costume or give you that additional money," the producer told Joan Blondell as "The Blonde and the Bullet" (1933) went into an extra week of filming.

"Fair enough," said Blondell.

It's International Nude Day...

… and we're getting as close to celebrating it as we can here at Shades of Gray!

The Truth About That Cherry Tree...

The story of young George Washington chopping down a cherry tree and fessing up to the act of vandalism is one of the most enduring tales told about one of the U.S.'s Founding Fathers. It has recently been discovered that, while a cherry tree was indeed chopped down on that sunny day in Virginia in 1738, it was not young George Washington who did it, but a time traveling Joan Blondell.

And what red-blooded American boy wouldn't lie to cover for Joan? Obviously, none of them!

Yarr! Here be comely pirate lasses!

Here at Shades of Gray we observe Speak Like a Pirate Day by looking like a pirate!

Bebe Daniels

Tahliah Debrett Barnett (FKA Twigs)

Joan Crawford

Joan Blondell

Gloria Blondell

Colleen Moore

It's International Nude Day...

... and we're getting as close to celebrating it as we can get away with here at Shades of Gray!

Happy Independence Day, U.S.A!

We hope all our American friends, no matter where they are in the world, have a safe and happy Fourth of July during these unusual times! Here at Shades of Gray, Gloria Shea and Joan Blondell are sporting their matching Uncle Sam outfits while Grace Bradley is testing her Social Distancing Fireworks Display.

Joan's May Fifth

Joan Blondell had plans for this Cinco de Mayo.

But then...

The Secret Life of Joan Blondell

Joan Blondell, Ninja Cutie (?)

Evidence has emerged that actress Joan Blondell (who is best known for her roles in films from the early 1930s) belonged to one of the secretive Ninja Cutie Clans. This has been suspected by those who have read the journals of Bessie Love (who led a secret life herself as the Love Bug), but now there is proof.



Take a look at these photos. Who but a highly trained ninja assassin could safely traverse a tiled roof in high heels while carrying a bow and arrow?

Further, who but a Ninja Cutie would smile so prettily while firing an arrow through her quarry's heart?

The fact that Blondell was already known to be an expert swordswoman is further evidence supporting the theory that she was a deadly (but cute) ninja!

All that said, more research is needed before it can be fully stated that Blondell was a Ninja Cutie. The evidence uncovered so far points equally to her being a practitioner of the arcane secrets known only to the Sisters of Bastet.

--
As is our wont when making up things about actresses from the Golden Age of Hollywood, we like to include some roleplaying game rules that either sprang from the process of making things up, or which prompted us to do so. With that in mind, here are a couple of feats for the d20 System game. (If you find any of this amusing or entertaining, maybe you want to check out the Ninja Cuties d20 Modern supplement from NUELOW Games. Click on that link to get it. Selling copies will encourage us to make more stuff, either for sale on the blogs!)

BACKWARDS AND IN HEELS [Ninja Cutie, Sister of Bastet]
Not only do high heels not slow you down, they make you deadlier!
   Prerequisite: 3rd level, Dex 14, Cha 14...
   Benefit: When wearing high heels, except for stiletto heels, the character gains a +2 bonus to all the following skills: Balance, Bluff, Climb, Jump, Move Silently, and Perform (dance).

BACKWARDS AND IN STILETTO HEELS [Ninja Cutie, Sister of Bastet]
Whether you have them on your feet or in your hands, you make stiletto-heeled shoes as dangerous as the knife they are named for.
   Prerequisite: Backwards and in Heels feat
   Benefit: When wearing stilettos, you gain a +2 bonus to Diplomacy and Intimidation skill checks. Additionally, you wield a stiletto as a melee weapon that deals a based damage of 1d6 points.
   Special: When this feat is selected, the character automatically gains Exotic Melee Weapon Proficiency (stiletto heel shoe) as a bonus feat. Additionally, the character can wield two stiletto-heeled shoes at once without any penalties if she possesses the Two-Weapons Fighting feat.

(Special Thanks to L.L. Hundal for shoe insight.)