Princesses of Mars, Part 31

Portraits of Princesses Lounging Around Their Throne Rooms...

By Fabinon Eves

By Mahmud Asrar

By Overlander

By Jay Anacleto

By Mitch Foust

The Arabiantics of Felix the Cat

Arabiantics (1928)
Director: Otto Messmer
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars


Felix the Cat trades a bottle of milk for a magic carpet that flies him to the cartoon version of the Middle East. Here, he becomes fabulously wealthy, but his treasure is stolen by an evil sultan and trained mice. Naturally, Felix comes up with a scheme to regain what is his.

During the mid- to late 1920s, Felix the Cat was a hugely popular figure, and his cartoon and comic-strip antics were beloved by kids and adults alike. (How do we know Felix was loved by adults? Well, these photos of Felix dancing with a scantily clad honey seems to be a pretty good indication.) As sound arrived, Felix's popularity with movie-goers was waning, and by the mid-1930s, he was gone from Hollywood. He continued his adventures in the funny papers and in comic books well into the 1960s, however, and continues to see occasional revivals to this very day. Even if you haven't seen a single Felix the Cat cartoon or comic strip, chances are you've seen his smiling face at one point or another. (More on Felix here, at Wikipedia.)

Personally, I'm not a big fan of Felix the Cat, because in many of the cartoons, he goes too far out of his way to be jerk. However, I love the surreal universe he exists in--where he can pluck elements from the background scenery and turn them into weapons, a musical instrument, or even a car--and the strange place he occupies between a cat walking around on four legs and a full-blown anthropomorphic Disney character, so I seek them out occasionally to find one to my liking.

And "Arabiantics" turns out to be very much to my liking. This is a rare Felix outing where he is a sympathetic character from beginning to end.

As the cartoon opens, he's a stray cat looking for somewhere comfortable to spend the night (but doesn't find it), and just when things are looking up for him, his well-earned treasure is stolen and he's worse off than he was at the beginning of the film. The methods by which he goes about regaining his treasure are funny and clever and almost entirely free of the mischievous malice that is so prevalent in other Felix cartoons I've viewed. What's more, every gag in this film is either sweet, hilarious, or hilariously weird.

I've embedded the cartoon for your viewing pleasure below. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

'The Electric House' will spark laughter

The Electric House (1922)
Starring: Buster Keaton, Joe Roberts, Steve Murphy, and Virginia Fox
Directors: Buster Keaton and Eddie Cline
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

A botanist (Keaton) is mistaken for an electrical engineer and is hired to install electricity in a millionaire's mansion. He goes above and beyond the call of duty and turns the house into a mechanical marvel that puts the smart-houses of 2019 to shame... but then the engineer who should have had the job (Murphy) decides to take revenge.

"The Electric House" is a tour-de-force of set building. The devices and the prop comedy around them are the real stars of this picture, and the film starts to drag when it strays from this, like the bit where Keaton struggles with a heavy trunk. While this sets up other gags, it feels like filler, which is a bad thing in a movie that only runs a little over 22 minutes.

That sequence, though, is the only real quibble I have with the picture. I have a few nitpicks with how long it took Keaton's character to catch onto the sabotage (which is mostly excused by the way he ultimately deals with the saboteur), as well as some of the business at the end (which is almost made up for by the film's final moment), but over all, this is an enjoyable picture. It doesn't have that frenetic feeling that my favorite Keaton films convey, but it is still a heck of a lot of fun. (It's also interesting to see that diploma mills have been around for at least 100 years, because without an indifferently run university, the story of this movie would not have taken place.)

But just don't take my word for how fun "The Electric House" is. I've embedded it below, via YouTube, for your viewing pleasure!

'Alum and Eve' brings chaos to the hospital

Alum and Eve (1932)
Starring: ZaSu Pitts, Thelma Todd, and James Morton
Director: George Marshall
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

Thelma (Todd) tries to lie her way out of a speeding ticket by telling the highway patrol officer (Morton) that she was rushing her sick friend (Pitts) to see a doctor. When the officer kindly offers to help by giving a police escort, a of events are set into motion that throws an entire hospital into chaos.

"Alum and Eve" has a set-up that we've seen in other Pitts/Todd/Kelly comedies--the ladies are out driving and trouble ensues (like in "The Old Bull" and "Beauty and the Bus")--but this one takes a crazier and darker turn than an in any of the shorts in this series I've seen so far. This is one of those films where I can't go into to many details without ruining the viewing experience, but I think that if Hal Roach had hired H.P. Lovecraft to write a comedy starring Pitts & Todd, it would have turned out something like what we have here: What starts as a simple lie swiftly descends into a hilarious chaotic madness and doom!

Although I count this one among the best Pitts/Todd teamings I've watched so far (which is about half of the ones they made together), its flaws are pretty big. Primarily, there are a couple slapstick scenes go on for too long. First, there's a bit  where the ZaSu Pitts character is being manhandled by James Morton's highway patrol officer in an effort to get her into the hospital, but Pitts is replaced by a poorly concealed body-double which all but ruins the scene. This is followed almost immediately with a sequence involving the three stars, two orderlies, and a nurse, all tangled up in a gurney; it starts out mildly amusing, but becomes boring and dumb as it drags on. Both of these are within the first five minutes of this 18-minute film... which left with with low expectations for what was to follow.

"Alum and Eve" gets much, much better, however. Once the characters are either causing mayhem in the hospital examining rooms, or our two heroines are trying to escape before ZaSu is either subjected to some unpleasant and unnecessary medical procedures or Thelma is hauled off to jail for lying to a police officer, this is one funny movie. While I was particularly appreciated the insane, dark humor at play here, I am also very fond of a gag where Thelma Todd scampering around in her slip (since she, once again, manages to lose her clothes) brings about a medical miracle.

As for the the performances by the various actors in the film--everyone is great in their parts. This is another one where Todd and Pitts get to play to their strengths as performers, and every member of their supporting cast is perfect in their roles. The chemistry between Pitts and Todd on-screen also makes it perfectly believable that not only would ZaSu continue to play along with Todd's increasingly outlandish stories as to why she needs to have medical treatment, but that Todd will also make every effort to extract her friend from the situation she's gotten her into.

This is one of 17 short films that ZaSu Pitts and Thelma Todd made together, and they've all been collected into a single DVD set. It's one of the reasons you should pick it up, especially if you've enjoyed more famous Hal Roach productions, such as the short films starring Laurel & Hardy or Harold Lloyd.


Trivia: The Alum of the title (and a major part of the action during the final third of the film), is a compound that was used to cauterize cuts, because it causes skin to tighten. (I looked it up, so I thought I'd share this tidbit.) I've no idea if it still used medically today, but it apparently is still used in home-made preserves and pickling.

Space Girl Adventures, Part Twenty-two

What Has Gone Before: Spacegirl is trying to get off Delta Moon Station before those on her trail catch up to her.

SPACEGIRL

By Travis Charest

To Be Continued...

--
In a change of pace from closing this installment with the just the usual Retro-Space Girl drawing, here are the adventures of another Space Girl-- a bonus series from Ramen Empire.

By Bob Layton

That time Betty Boop went to Hell...

Red Hot Mamma (1934)
Starring: Bonnie Poe (as the voice of Betty Boop)
Director: Dave Fleischer
Rating: Ten of Ten Stars

When Betty Boop accidentally opens a gate to Hell, she decides to check the place out.

"Red Hot Mamma" is one of the greatest Betty Boop cartoons ever made; heck, it might be one of the greatest cartoons, period. Hell has never been jazzier and funnier than it is here: Even the initiations of new demons into the infernal ranks is a laff riot! It was also one of the last of the truly "risqué" ones, as the Hayes Office hammer was about to come down on the Fleischer Studios and the rest of Hollywood.

In fact, "Red Hot Mamma" as so "risqué" that it was banned by Great Britain's film censorship board in 1934, not because of sexiness but because they considered the lighthearted portrayal of Hell to be blasphemous. Maybe it's the fact that I'm not terribly religious, maybe its 85 years of eeeevil cultural decay, but I don't see the blasphemy here. If anything, the film makes a point about how the pure of heart can resist and overcome evil, since the film shows Betty to be the baddest Good Girl there is when she responds to devils who are happy to see her ("Hiya Betty!") with a shoulder so cold--and such a frigid stare--that Hell literally freezes over! (There's another element to Betty's trip to Hell that makes this ban even more of a head-scratcher for me, but to talk about it would really ruin the fun for you when watching it.)

But what do you think? Did this cartoon deserve to be banned by the British Board of Film Distribution? I've embedded it in this very post, for you to enjoy the sleek animation, nifty music, and hilarious sight gags--right here, right now.

'Cheating Blondes' can safely be avoided

Cheating Blondes (aka "Girls in Trouble") (1933)
Starring: Thelma Todd, Ralf Harolde, Milton Wallis, Gilbert Frayle, Inez Courtney, Dorothy Gulliver, Mae Busch, and Brooks Benedict
Director: Joseph Levering
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

After her would-be rapist is shot, Anne Merrick (Todd) assumes the identity of her missing twin sister, Elaine (also Todd), to avoid being charged with murder. Meanwhile, her rejected newspaper reporter would-be husband (Harolde) is devoting every waking moment to see her captured, tried, and executed.

"Cheating Blondes" has some interesting issues at its core--domestic abuse and the problems that arise in society when women are treated as if they have less value than men. There is literally not a male character in the film who doesn't view women as things that are to be counted among their possessions, or treated as commodities, and there isn't a female character who doesn't suffer in some way because of it. There's also a hint of a murder mystery in the film... and it may have been more than a hint, or less of a mystery, if I'd been able to watch the entire film.

Unfortunately, there is a complete reel missing in the copy that's available on DVD, and it's a chunk of the film that contains a whole lot of plot that explains how Anne made contact with her sister's agent Mike Goldfish (Milton Wallis) and personal trainer Polly (Inez Courtney) and assumed her sister's identity with their knowledge and blessing; explains the connection between the agent and sister Elaine's weathy admirer Gilbert Frayle (Earl McCarthy); establishing a mystery around who actually shot the wife-beating, would-be rapist (Brooks Benedict); and further expands on the evidence that Ralf Harolde's reporter character is an absolute prick.

At least I assume that all those things happen in the 12 or so missing minutes, because, if they don't, then this is one of most disjointed, badly developed films of all time. There might even be something in there to make the title make sense, because right now, this film has a distinct lack of "cheating blondes". (In all seriousness, SOME or all of things must have been covered, because even the worst screenwriter and director in the world would have set up the developments that happen later in the film to at least a small degree, instead of having them drop on the confused viewer.)

That missing chunck of the film--a very key chunk--makes it hard to evaluate this film, because I really can't be sure to what degree my assumptions are right or wrong. For example, while watching the film, I was convinced that the manager had murdered Anne's sister, Elaine, because she was dropping him as an agent, but this turns out to be wrong assumption. Likewise, I suspect Mae Busch's and Ralf Harolde's character's got more development, because their behavior in the second half of the film seems like it needed more set-up than what is here. The same is true of some of the film's ending. Depending on what was in that missing piece, my rating could be one Star higher or lower... but I doubt I'll ever know what I missed.

While what there is here gets off to a slightly shakey start--Thelma Todd is quite terrible in the scene she has with Dorothy Gulliver, lending more credence to my theory that her performance is greatly impacted by whom she's playing off--but it quickly picks up, as everyone else is pretty decent. Even Todd is better in her later scenes, including one with Gulliver, so the movie is worth sticking with. Evenmoreso, this is an interesting bit of film due to its very stark treatment of sexism and misogny. Sexism, and even spousal abuse, is something that's just part of the fabric of life in many of these films from 1930s--because it probably was just a part of the fabric of life--but in "Cheating Blondes", treating women like objects or somehow lesser people is very much presented as a negative: It gets one characer killed and it literally ruins an otherwise successful career of another character. Meanwhile, the male character who recognizes that his presumptious and demanding behavior toward Todd's character Anne is unreasonable and uncivilized, and apologizes for and corrects his behavior, gets to enjoy a happy ending.

"Cheating Blondes" is available on DVD with "Cheers of the Crowd", a movie that isn't missing any pieces, but which also isn't all that good. If "Cheating Blondes" does sound interesting to you, I recommend you view it at one of several free online sources.

'Timeless' is a sweet modern-day silent film

Timeless (2013)
Starring: Joel Feitler and Candice Dayton
Director:  Micah Mahaffey
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

A young genius (Feitler) builds a time machine in order to prevent the death of his wife (Dayton).

"Timeless" is a silent short film that isn't a century or so old; as of this writing, it's not even a decade since it was made. Micah Mahaffey wrote and directed a small number of silent short films back in the early 2010s, and if any of the others are as good as this one, I'll probably write about and embed them in this space.

The most impressive thing about this film is that Mahaffey tells a complete story in under three minutes. I have watched a lot of short films over the past few years, and more often than not, filmmakers present vignettes rather than giving us something with a beginning, middle, and end. Here, we are treated to all the niceties you'd expect from a well-crated tale--including a denoument!

I was also impressed by the fact that Mahafferey clearly understood the limitations of his budget and resources, and he worked within them to pull off some nice special effects. He could have easily overreached and given us something that looked cheesy. Instead, he gave us something that looked just right.

The only negative points I can raise about the film is that I didn't quite buy the notion that the grieving widower seemed too young to build a time machine--it seemed like something that would have taken him a decade or more (at least), not just three years. Another thing I didn't quite like was the organ music score. It wasn't that the music was bad... it was that it was an organ. (I think I understand the reasons for both of these negatives. The first goes back to Mahaffey working with the resources he had available, and as a young filmmaker, it's natural he would a young cast to draw on so the time machine had to be invented within a short timespan. As for the second... well, it is a silent movie, so why use organ music? However, I think this story would have  been better served by a grand piano.)

I recommend taking a few minutes to check out "Timeless" for yourself. I hope you like it as much as I did.

When setting off Fourth of July Fireworks...

... do NOT follow the example set by Betty Grable.

Happy Independence Day to the U.S.A.

Little Known Fourth of July Fact:

Dancer and actress Cyd Charisse is why
fireworks are now labeled with safety warnings.