Tarzan's recycled TV adventures marred by lazy editng

Tarzan and the Trappers (1958)
Starring: Gordon Scott, Rickie Sorenson, Lesley Bradley, Maurice Marsac, Sol Gorse, William Keene and Eve Brent
Directors: Charles F. Haas and Sandy Howard
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

Tarzan (Scott) stops a brutal trapper (Bradley) who has been raiding his jungle, and later finds himself the subject of a hunt staged by the trapper's vengeful brother (Gorse).

"Tarzan and Trappers" consists of two (or perhaps even parts of three) episodes of an unsold TV series, which explains not only a bizarre grouping of story threads--the first half of the movie sees Tarzan fighting one group of villains while the second half of the movie introduces a whole new set of bad guys who come in as result of his actions on the first half--but also a weird sense of chronology where on one hand it's seems clear that the main events of the movie are separated by days or weeks (and that the second half even takes place over at least two days), yet the film's denouement implies that the trappers Tarzan fought in the first half of the film were captured and convicted in the morning, the revenge plot is hatched and executed in the afternoon, and Tarzan is home for the special dinner promised to him by Jane at the film's beginning.

This chronological confusion comes about due to the slipshod way the episodes were edited together. The denouement from the first episode (the first half of the movie) was moved to the very end--the first part of the movie COULD have been a very busy, very long day--even though it really doesn't connect at all with the events of the second film. The package would have been far better served if they producers had excised all references to the dinner Jane was making, or if they had left the two episodes intact, with the first denouement where it belonged.

As far as the acting goes, everyone does a decent job in this film. Gordon Scott makes a fine Johnny Weismuller copy, although while Eva Brent certainly is pretty in her small role as Jane, she doesn't have Maureen O'Sullivan's screen presence.

Check out 'The Invisible Woman' (if you can see her)

The Invisible Woman (1940)
Starring: Virginia Bruce, John Barrymore, John Howard, Charles Ruggles, Charles Lane, Donald McBride, Oskar Homolka and Shemp Howard
Director: A. Edward Sutherland
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

A runway model (Bruce) volunteers to test an invisibility machine so she can get back at her abusive boss. Things get complicated when gangsters decide they want the machine for their own purposes.


"The Invisible Woman" was touted as a sequel to Universal's 1933 sci-fi thriller "The Invisible Man"--the first sequel, in fact. However, it has nothing in common with that movie... other than the word "invisible" in the title.

This film is a light comedy with some screwball elements and slight romantic touches. Everything is played for laughs and the film is perhaps even funnier now because of some of the outdated social attitudes on display in the film. (At the time, the solution to dealing with the problem of having to pick up a passed out naked woman was the source of humor, but today it's the fact that both John Barrymore and John Howard's characters were too gentlemanly to touch her bare skin is the funny part.)

"The Invisible Woman" is a charming piece of fluff featuring a fast-paced script and a cast of fine comedic actors. It's the odd (wo)man out in Universal's "The Invisible Man Legacy Collection", but it still adds value to the set. (Click here to read reviews of all the movies included in "The Invisible Man Legacy Collection" at The Universal Horror Archive.)

Doc has ultimate ethical conflict in 'Shock'

Shock (1946)
Starring: Vincent Price, Lynn Bari and Anabel Shaw
Director: Alfred Werker
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

Dr. Cross (Price) faces the ultimate ethical conflict when he is charged with the care of the woman who can indetify him as a murderer (Shaw). Will his coldhearted mistress (Bari) spur him to committ another murder, or will he find his humanity again?


"Shock" is a thriller with an average, predictable storyline. The actors all give some pretty good performances (with Price, as the conflicted and ultimately spineless Cross, and Bari, as his evil mistress, being particularly strong), and the lighting and camera work is also decent. However, although the film only runs 70 minutes, there isn't enough story to fill it, and things start to drag very early on.

With a few more twists and turns, and perhaps a little more action than Cross and his floozy plotting nefarious deeds within earshot of a semi-concious Janet, "Shock" could have been a fun little suspense movie. Instead, all we have here is a B-movie where the B stands for "boring."

'The Great Flamarion' is a tale of lust and tragedy

The Great Flamarion (1946)
Starring: Erich von Stroheim, Mary Beth Hughes, Dan Duryea and Stephen Barclay
Director; Anthony Mann
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Reclusive marksman and vaudeville entertainer (von Stroheim) comes out of his shell when he believes the beautiful assistant in his act (Hughes) loves him and wants to be with him instead of her husband (Duryea). However, the coldhearted, manipulative woman simply wants the Great Flamarion to "accidentally" shoot her husband during the act, so she can run off with yet another man.


"The Great Flamarion" is an utterly predictable film, although it might not have been so in 1946 when it was made. The story never misses a chance to go exactly where you'd expect it to go, and the characters never move beyond complete and total cliches.

However, there is still a degree of enjoyment to be derived from this film if you just sit back and go with it. Hughes' performance as the black widow who should make black widows feel uneasy is so over-the-top that it fits perfectly with the nature of the script, while Von Stroheim takes an interesting term as a man who moves from an obsession with lethal guns to a lethal obsession with the woman who took his self-respect and his honor.

Agnes Quill sees dead people

Agnes Quill: An Anthology Of Mystery
(Slave Labor Graphics, 2006)
Writer: Dave Roman
Artists: Jeff Zoronow, Dave Roman, Jason Ho, and Riana Telgemeier
Steve's Rating Eight of Ten Stars

The title character of "Agnes Quill: An Anthology of Mystery" is the 16-year-old granddaughter of a renowned detective and spiritualist, who exists ina pseudo-Victorian world where magic is acknowledged as real an commonplace enough that Agnes makes a living partly from running a "curiosity shop" that deals in arcane items and trinkets, and by carrying on the legacy of her grandfather. Her detective business is of a very unusual sort, going beyond solving simple arcane mysteries, as Agnes possesses the rarest of supernatural gifts: She has the ability to see and communicate with ghosts and other restless spirits, so she often helps them complete unfinished business so they can move onto the Afterlife. Her gift earns her a living, but it also leads her life to be lonely... and she is gaining insight into the darkness that exists in the souls of even the kindest-appearing men and women at a very early age.


Published by Slave Labor Graphics, "Agnes Quill: An Anthology of Mystery" contains six tales of the teenaged supernatural sleuth, chronicle such diverse cases as her helping a kindly (but deceased) old lady wrap up her worldly affairs, protecting an unsavory womanizer from being torn limb-from-limb by the reanimated corpses of dead lovers, fighting a steampunkish mad scientist who is snatching body parts not from cadavers but from living people, and even finds possible romance in a secret under city).

Rounding out the book are excerpts from Agnes' personal journal and from files compiled by a shadowy organization that's keeping an eye on her and her activities. These materials add depth to the characters and stories, and whetted my appetite for even more Agnes Quill adventures.

What I liked the most about the stories here was the low quantity of angst, high quantity of adventure, the slight touch of melancholy, and the vast potential that still remains in the characters and the world they exist in. The kind of stories that can be told here have been attempted in comics before, but writer and creator Dave Roman seems to have come up with a world and back story that's got more breadth and depth than previous similar efforts.


"Agnes Quill: An Anthology of Mystery" should appeal to fans of books like the "Harry Potter" and "Dresden Files" series, to those who simply appreciate well-done comics. (Another sign of the sturdiness of the Agnes Quill series is the range of art styles that are represented, from Telgemeier's very cartoony style to Jeff Zornow's intensely dramatic artwork. Each vision is equally appropriate.)


I recommend this book very highly. It's $11 for a book that I believe every comics fan in the house will enjoy; . (Well, except maybe those who need to have characters in tights with impossibly big boobs on every page. But those who appreciate well-told tales with interesting characters and offbeat adventures will get a kick out of the tales here, be they boys, girls, or adults.)

'Attack of the Giant Leeches' is boredom

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)
Starring: Ken Clark, Jan Shepard, Yvette Vickers, Bruno VeSota and Gene Roth
Director: Bernard L. Kowalski
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A small town located on the edge of a swamp and inhabited primarily by unpleasant hicks is menaced by giant leeches. Will the studly game warden (Clark)--one of three citizens with a double-digit IQ--save the day?

"Attack of the Giant Leeches" is one of those movies where the various characters can't get eaten by the monsters soon enough. This is partly because they're portrayed by second-rate actors delivering badly written dialogue, but also because the film is just plain boring.

The movie reaches its high point when the local shopkeeper (Bruno VeSota) chases his wife (the town slut, played by Yvette Vickers) into the swamp after catching her with one of her lovers. There's some genuine tension and suspense in that scene, and it's the only bit that materializes in the entire movie.


(Later scenes might have had some suspense to them, but it's ruined by the fact the "giant leeches" are obviously plastic and their suckers look more like eyes than suckers. They effect is not one of horror but one of goofiness.)

There is one important lesson to be taken from this film: If you think you are hearing an angry leopard or wildcat while wandering through a swamp, it's probably just the mating cry of a giant leech.

I suppose, in fairness, I should acknowledge the fact that the movie lets us oogle a sexy chick getting dressed as her slobby husband oogles her getting dressed. I guess that's a little bit of entertainment value right there.



(Although it did make me wonder: Do most women really put their shoes on before they've even finished putting on the rest of their clothes? It seems like they always do it that way in the movies....)

'Zombies of Mora Tau' fails to live up to its potential

Zombies of Mora Tau (aka "The Dead That Walk") (1957)
Starring: Gregg Palmer, Autumn Russell, Allison Hayes, Joel Ashley, Marjorie Eaton, Morris Ankrum and Gene Roth
Director: Edward L. Cahn
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A group of callous treasure hunters and the residents of an isolated African farm are beset by swimming zombies protecting a treasure trove of cursed diamonds.


While watching "Zombies of Mora Tau" my mind repeatedly wandered to the work of another director who was turning out cheap horror movies in the 1950: Edward D. Wood. This is film is not that much better than "Bride of the Monster", making it one of many bits of evidence that whoever first decided it was cute to slander Wood with the "worst filmmaker ever" label was an ignorant twat.

"Zombies of Mora Tau" is a film with a weak script being performed by a cast who are actors in the sense they can hit their marks and deliver their lines but who otherwise seem fairly free of any actual talent for acting. It further suffers from the fact that the costume designers or make-up artists didn't have the creativity to make the zombies look even halfway interesting--even "White Zombie", which is borrowed from/paid homage to on a couple of occasions here, did a far better job at this, way back at the dawn of the zombie movie genre--and it didn't have the budget to actually make the cool idea of underwater zombie attacks look believable.

This is one of those movies that is brimming with potential, but it remains nearly entirely unrealized because of the incompetence of the filmmakers and the paltry budget they had to work with.

Almost despite itself, the film manages to mount a number of creepy moments, such as when the slutty femme-fatale wife of the captain of the salvage ship (played by Allison Hayes) rises from the dead as a zombie and then sets about to kill her former colleagues, including her husband. However, even the creepiest moment in the film is marred by cheapness and bad acting.

As bad as I think this movie is, I did keep watching it and not because I was wondering if it could get any worse. No, in this instance, I kept hoping it would get better, because I kept thinking, "Wow... this could be a really scary scene if there was some more blood here" or "Good actors could have made this actually seem as intense as it's supposed to be" and so on.

I'm sure anyone who likes zombie movies will have a similar reaction when viewing this film. It is so full of what-could-have-been material that it will feed the imagination of any but the most braindead horror fan. This quality, coupled with the laughably bad execution of just about everything present on screen, makes it a great movie to consider for inclusion in a Bad Movie Night.

It's a shame that the film industry only seems interested in remaking movies that were already good to begin with. If there's a movie that deserves to be remade, it's "Zombies of Mora Tau". You wouldn't even need a new script. With a few minor tweaks and a modern approach to executing the story, the existing script would be the perfect foundation for a kick-ass film. (It would need a enough of a budget for decent diving and underwater scenes, though. Just imagine: "Into the Blue" with zombies! How cool would THAT be?!)

Picture Perfect Wednesday: Milla Jovovich

Ukranian-born American actress Milla Jovovich has a varied resume of films to her name, continuing to appear in a mix of big-budget fantasy/horror tinged films and small artsy-type thrillers.

A mystery-comedy that fails to excite

The Crooked Circle (1932)
Starring; Ben Lyon, James Gleason, Zasu Pitts, and C. Henry Gordon
Director; H. Bruce Humberston
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

The clandestine battle between the criminal society of the Crooked Circle and the adventurers and amateur detectives of the Sphinx Club comes to a head in a haunted house, as the villains attempt to discredit key Sphinx Club member Brand Osbourne (Lyon) and kill the club's leader.


"The Crooked Circle" is a chaotic comedy/suspense film that tries to cram entire too much into its brief running time. The idea of the Crooked Circle vs. the Sphinx Club is pretty nifty, as are the subplots and plot twists related to it. Similarly, the hijinx of the dimwitted motorcycle cop (Gleason) and the cowardly housekeeper (Pitts) in the haunted house are pretty funny. However, when the two portions of the movie are combined, they distract from one another and make the overall film messy and frustrating to watch.

This is one of the many hundreds of movies that is filled with great ideas that are badly executed. Although it features some decent acting (Pitts, Gleason, and Gordon--as a sinister Hindu with shadowy motives--are excellent in their parts) and some well-done sets and decent camera work, the film really isn't worth sitting through.

The early Hawkman tales are brilliant

Showcase Presents: Hawkman, Vol. 1 (DC Comics, 2007)
Writers: Gardner Fox and Bob Haney
Artists: Joe Kubert, Murphy Anderson, Carmine Infantino, Bob Purcell, and Gil Kane
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars


"Showcase Presents: Hawkman" is another mammoth collection of high-quality comics from the early 1960s. This one features the earliest--and very best--adventures of the "re-imagined" Golden Age hero Hawkman.


Written by master-scribe Gardner Fox, who also wrote a number of the original Hawkman tales during the 1940s, this collection of science-fiction tinged superhero adventures introduce the readers to Katar Hol and his wife Shayera who are police officers from the alien world of Thanagar who have come to Earth to study law enforcement techniques of our world. They come to be known as Hawkman and Hawkgirl, because their alien police uniforms and anti-grav technology make them appear like human hawks. The couple pose as the curators of the Midway Museum, and they augment their hi-tech equipment with antique weapons from the museum's collection as needed. They have to deal with alien menaces, Earth-based sorcerers, a few problems generated by artifacts at the museum, and even the bureaucracy of the Thanagarian police force.

The art is primarily by Joe Kubert and Murphy Anderson (with the latter providing inks over Carmine Infantino and Gil Kane on select stories). Kubert illustrates the first 1/4th of the book, and he once again shows himself to be a master of drawing things in flight--there are times when the reader can almost feel the wind rushing past Hawkman and Hawkgirl as they take flight or battle airborne foes. While Anderson can't match Kubert's ability to capture aerial motion, he nonetheless provided some of the very best work of his entire career on these "Hawkman" stories.

In fact, the writing and artwork is for the most part so excellent that the one average comic book story that appears here (a Aquaman/Hawkman/Hawkgirl team-up of all things, by Haney and Purcell) looks positively awful by comparison. In the context of the general level of material from the early 1960s, the Aquaman team-up is okay, but it can't hold up when compared to the rest of this book.

Originally presented in issues of "The Brave & the Bold", "Mystery In Space", "Hawkman" and a stray issue of "The Atom", the stories featured are universally clever, fun, and definately among the very best of the Silver Age. From the interesting relationship between Katar and Shayera (who more than once clash when personal and professional life cross over), to the supporting cast, to the always-interesting foes they confront, to the very interesting team-ups with other superheroes (two with the Atom--another happily married superhero--one with Adam Strange, one girl-magician Zantanna, and the above-mentioned Aquaman crossover), these are stories that are bursting with creative energy, exciting ideas, and that spotlight top talents using their skills to their utmost.

The book isn't flawless, though. I've alredy mentioned the out-of-place Aquaman team-up. There are also the occasional element that feels extremely hokey some 45 years after the tales originally appeared (the worst of these is that Katar Hol's father is the inventor of modern police procedures on Thanagar AND the anti-grav technology that elite officers like Hawkman and Hawkgirl use), but the many fun aspects of the book more than makes up for them.


"Showcase Presents: Hawkman" is an affordable collection of great superhero comics. I think it might even be a book that can appeal to a young girl, of you know one that you'd like to get interested in comics. Despite the title, Hawkgirl is featured almost as frequently as Hawkman.)

The book is even more affordable if you order it from Amazon.com, as it only costs around $13 once their discount is applied.