Bones Coffee's Strawberry Cheesecake

In the 35 years I've been foisting my opinions regarding movies, music, comic books, and, lately, coffee, upon the world, I have never set with the intent of writing a negative review: Even when I was a kid just getting started, I never had time to waste time on things I knew are going to suck. 

For this reason, I was hesitant to add Bones' Strawberry Cheesecake blend to the line-up of flavored coffees to review in this space. I'd had good luck with other blends I'd felt dubious about (like the Maple Bacon blend), so perhaps I'd be surprised by this one, too.

Here's April Bowlby enjoying a big mug of coffee. We should follow her example!

Well... I was surprised by this blend from the Bones Coffee Company in a few different ways... but none of them were happy surprises.

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE

This review is based on another 4-oz, pre-ground sample pack that I ordered straight from Bones. The package says that it's a medium-roast, and I'll have to take its word for it, because I could not taste any coffee at all in the resulting brew.

While I had initially thought that I could recommend this as a coffee drink for people who don't like coffee (as I did with the Peaches and Scream blend), I cannot even do that. The main reason is because the name on the package implies the resulting brew should taste like Strawberry Cheesecake, but I'm not sure WHAT it's supposed to taste like.

And that was the first unpleasant surprise, because there's a strong aroma of strawberries when the bag is opened, when the coffee is brewing, and as you pour it from the pot and into the cup. But when you drink it? There's no cheesecake flavor, there's no strawberry flavor--except as a faint aftertaste following several swallows--and whatever the flavor is, it completely overpowers the flavor of the medium-roast coffee it purports to be. It's also so sickly sweet, it's barely palatable. Once it's cut with Unsweetened Almond Milk or sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer--and that undefinable sweetness ends up cut back, or diluted, a bit--the strawberry flavor, with a little cheesecake mixed in, is recognizable and grows stronger as you finish your cup. In fact, you eventually end up with so strong a strawberry flavor in your mouth that you're going to find yourself reaching for some water or perhaps even some mouthwash.

The blend doesn't get any better at room temperature or over ice. It may even get worse, as the saltiness that emerged in the Sinn-O-Bun blend shows up in the Strawberry Cheesecake blend when it is chilled and poured over ice as well. It's not as severe as it was with the Sinn-O-Bun blend, but it's there. The overpowering sweet flavor remains, but when I added unsweetened almond milk to the mix, it became tolerable. Iced, the blend even seemed to taste a little more like cheesecake, but strawberry was still dominant. And, just like when it was hot, the strawberry taste builds and seems to coat your mouth as you drink.

I would like say that this is Bones blend for people who don't like coffee, but it's not even that. It's more a blend for people who like drinking snow cone syrup straight from the bottle. I really can't recommend it.

The only good thing I can say about this blend is that it has neat picture on the package. Although... even that I'm not exactly sure what to make of. Is it some sort of reference to 1970s drug trips? Is it a reference to the Twilight Zone? (I think I'm going with the latter... because that might be the place where the Strawberry Cheesecake blend is tasty.)

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BONUS BONES COFFEE REVIEW (sort of): COSTA RICA

Another sign of how intense the flavoring of this coffee is can be observed in the fact that my coffee maker smells of strawberries. I've rinsed out the pot and it, but it still smells of strawberries. My first thought was to just water through it without any coffee to clean it... but then I hit on the idea of brewing some non-flavored coffee (I've some Kenyan and Costa Rican in cupboard, from  Bones even) and see whether it picks up some of the strawberry flavor residue while cleaning out the coffee maker. Maybe I'd end up with a Strawberry Cheesecake blend that isn't so troublesome? (And maybe I don 't have to buy a new coffee maker.)

I decided to give it a try. I made six cups of coffee from what remained in the sample pack of the Costa Rica blend from Bones Coffee. I had ordered it as part of the "World Tour Sample Pack" before I hit on the idea of these review posts. But, I had enjoyed the previous cups very much--as I had expected to. I have found that in the past I have liked coffee that's been labeled as Costa Rican. Also, a friend once brought packages of what the locals made and drink themselves, and it was even BETTER than what gets exported. In fact, I think it may have been the best coffee I've ever had.

But, the Bones Costa Rica blend had put me in mind of the great coffee my friend brought me. It's a medium roast that was just as smooth and that I feel should satisfy even the picky coffee snobs out there. I drank it hot with unsweetened vanilla almond milk and sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer, and  I even drank a cup with just Stevia added. Each was great. I did not try it cold or over ice.

So, how did the Costa Rica blend fare when I ran it through my my Strawberry Cheesecake-tainted coffee maker? It's a little hard to say...

Linda Darnell looks like she may doubts about this experiment...
But the coffee must be consumed!

I could not smell any strawberries as the coffee brewed--just the usual wonderful smell of coffee. without adding anything. I drank the first cup without anything added, and I think I detected just the faintest hint of something sweet aside from the great and smooth taste of the Costa Rica coffee. That could just be psychological... I will never know for sure. Whatever the case, it tasted great, and it got even better when I added unsweetened vanilla almond milk. Even when used to clean a coffeemaker, the Costa Rica blend from Bones is fantastic.

I drank the rest over ice, first straight, and then with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer added. It was as good as I expected it to be. Although I haven't subjected the Bones Costa Rica blend to the same steps I've done to other coffees I've been formally reviewing, I think I can safely recommend it to anyone who likes a good cup of coffee.

The Strawberry Cheesecake blend may have been bad, but the unflavored Costa Rica blend is very good! And, as an added bonus, my coffeemaker and pot no longer reek of strawberries!

The Avengers Dossier, Page Twenty-Two

Many of Britain's top film and television actors of the 1950s and 1960s can be seen guest-starring in episodes of "The Avengers." Here's another brief look at one such guest-star.

THORLEY WALTERS

In "What the Butler Saw", character actor Thorley Walters was an bulter with a ruthless streak, one of the 150 characters he portrayed in film and on television.

Thorley Walters was born in 1913, the son of a clergyman. With his parents' blessing, he pursued a career in acting. After brief experience in the theatre (where he mostly appeared in supporting roles in Shakespearean plays, but also had a few starring turns as romantic leads), he turned to films in 1935 and never looked back.

Walters' early film career was spent in low-budget comedies where he almost immediately found a niche playing comic parts, and he was more often than not a featured player. Filmgoers may not have immediately known his name, but they relied on him to make them laugh during the war years and throughout the 1950s and 1960s.

As he aged, Walters became a familiar face in horror films, historical dramas, and literary adaptations. He had supporting roles in some of the best films from Hammer--among them being "Frankenstein Created Women" (1967) and "Vampire Circus" (1972)--and he made an excellent Dr. Watson in four different, completely unrelated Sherlock Holmes adaptations--including the awful "Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace" (1962)--and he appeared in several different adaptations of John Le Carre novels, both on television and on the big screen.

During the 1980s, Walters almost exclusively played incompetent law enforcement officers and bumbling government officials on television, with recurring roles on series such as "Strangers" (1980 - 1982) and "Bulman" (1985 - 1987) (where he played the character off Bill Dugdale on both series) and "Crown Court" (1975 - 1984). He continued working right up until shortly before his death in 1991 at the age of 78.

Wonder Woman Wednesday

On this Wonder Woman Wednesday, we bring you pictures of our favorite Amazon engaging in some of the most unusual superheroic deeds she's been called on to perform.

First up, since the early 1950s, she has regularly volunteered to help clear mine fields.

She sometimes fills in for her friend Nancy down at Kadie's Bar.

She is also dedicated to confiscating illegal drugs from the kids and dealers and then destroying those drugs before they can ruin lives.

Finally, she often volunteers to clear the skeletons and zombies out of the Shades of Gray offices. You wouldn't believe the number of them that either remain behind, or who show up late and refuse to leave, whenever Peculia or Betty Boop & Bimbo stop in for a visit or a party.

'Tip Jar' is a great homage to silent comedies

Tip Jar (2016)
Starring: Josh Blaylock, Ellary Porterfield, Amy Johnson, Robert Dill, Richie Stephens, Clinton Jones, and Matthew Arnold
Directors: Freddie Wong and Matthew Arnold
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

It's World War II. A bartender (Blaylock) who just wants to close the bar and head to the Fun Fair, gets caught between a beautiful Allied spy (Porterfield) and the four Nazis (Dill, Johnson, Jones, and Stephens) charged with retrieving the course-of-history-altering military secrets she has stolen.

"Tip Jar" is a modern-day silent movie that attempts to capture and replicate the feel and frenetic pace of the greatest Buster Keaton or Harold Lloyd shorts. I think it does so mostly successfully, capturing the tone of a 1920s silent comedy via the acting, the general positioning of the camera, and the execution of the slapstick-style action during the second half of the film.

If I were to nitpick this film, I could say that there were a few too many close-ups for the director and cinematographer to have effectively emulated the sources that inspired this effort--and the thought did enter my head, but I immediately dismissed it as both a nitpick and stupid. This is a modern film, so it is entirely reasonable that it uses some elements of modern cinematic language to draw in viewers; especially since every shot in the film is well considered and spot on.

Another nitpick I had is that some of the stage-fighting in the slap-stick routine could have done with a little more practice, since it was obvious that some of the blows weren't connecting. However, as the film progressed and I discovered that the main character's fight against the Nazis was one single, long take, I became forgiving of a couple minor missteps. From time-code 9:40 and lasting until 12:40, there are three minutes of non-stop physical comedy and fighting--and it's at a very rapid pace and very funny. There are big-time filmmakers who could learn from watching this (just like they could learn from watching the films that inspired "Tip Jar".

I also need to mention that "Tip Jar" is a perfect example of why silent movies need to have scores written specifically for them, or the cues that were suggested for use by the original producers should be used, rather than the all-too-common practice of just adding random classical or jazz recordings to them. The action and humor in this film is greatly augmented by an original soundtrack by Igor Neirovsky, and I think I would have assigned the film at least one fewer stars without it.

If you have 15 minutes to spare, and if you want to add some cheer to your day, you need to check out "Tip Jar" by clicking below.

Musical Monday with ZZ Top

A pretty waitress is abducted by a monster that is part man, part hamburger, so it's interstellar heroes ZZ Top to the rescue!

In November of 1991, a music video was released to promote ZZ Top's single "Burger Man". Today, we celebrate the 30th anniversary of a fantastic homage to indie 1950s monster movies and sci-fi flicks.

If you're like us, you once believed that "Sharp-Dressed Man" was the greatest ZZ Top music video ever released. However, if you're like us, you will have your mind changed once you watch "Burger Man". (And even if you're not like us, but a regular visitor to this blog, we think this will at least put a smile on your face.)

Burger Man (1991)
Starring: ZZ Top, Jimmy Pelish, and uncredited actors

Director: Adam Bernstein

Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

It's the Day of the Dead...

 ... and Peculia is spending time with a few old friends.

The spooky scary skeletons come out to play!

Continuing the Shades of Gray Halloween 2021 celebration, we've got creepy, scary skeletons thanks to artist Bryan Baugh and one of our favorite cover artists Leo Moracchiolli!

It's not Poe, but it's still poetic

Back: A Tale of Romance and Necromancy (2013)
Starring: Oskar Brown, Anna Juliana Jaenner, and Lara Hoffman
Director: Sebastian Matthias Weissbach
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

A broken-hearted man (Brown) turns to dark magic to bring the love of his life back to life (Jeanner).

"Back" is a quiet little film that is more atmospheric and melancholy than scary, but as it reached its conclusion, I could see one of those hosts from the old-time horror comics anthologies (or the Cryptkeeper from "Tales of the Crypt") close the book from which he or she had been narrating the film. That sensation alone makes this more than suitable Halloween viewing. It's even more suitable, because as it unfolded, I thought more than once about certain poems and short stories from Edgar Allan Poe... and there is no higher praise that I can bestow upon a film like this than that.

On the technical front, "Back" is beautifully filmed and director Weissbach makes clever and impactful use of trick photography and splashes of color at a couple of points as the film unfolds. The only complaints I can mount is that he should have included a two-shots or some deeper focus in a couple of scenes, and the sound could be mixed a little better. I understand the impulse to have the reanimated lover speak very softly, but the sound of actress' Anna Juliana Jaenner's voice is so soft at a crucial moment at the film's climax that you can't hear what she's saying unless you crank the volume way up--and the narrator booms like the voice of God immediately afterwards if you do that.

Those are fairly minor problems though, and in the final analysis it's nice little film that's excellent Halloween viewing. 

Halloween is here...

 ... and Grace Bradley is regretting that she volunteered to be the host for his year's reunion of the cast for "Minnie the Moocher", "The Skeleton Dance", and "Wot a Night".

But she still thinks she made a smart move when she declined to watch all the scary short films that have been appearing at Terror Titans for all of the "31 Nights of Halloween"!

A Halloween Treat from Richard Sala!

Here's some comic strip poetry from the great Richard Sala, in observation and celebration of the Big Night! (Click on the panels for larger, more readable versions.)

For another bit of rhyming horror humor at Shades of Gray, click here. You can also check out a selection of his color drawings (including several featuring his signature character Peculia, at our sister blog Terror Titans by clicking here.)