Bones Coffee's French Vanilla

It's time for another review of a flavored coffee blend. This time, I'm trying their version of a classic -- French Vanilla.

It's a French Hottie with French Vanilla Coffee!

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: FRENCH VANILLA

French Vanilla is a go-to flavor around here; it's a rare and unhappy day that there isn't a bottle of sugar-free French Vanilla creamer in the fridge. Since coffee with some stripe and degree of vanilla flavor added is my go-to, ordering the Bones Coffee French Vanilla blend was a no-brainer. I've tried similar blends from other companies and they've ranged from "that wasn't just a straight medium roast?" to "meh... there was some vanilla there, but what's with the stale taste when I literally just made it?". 

The only blend French Vanilla blend I recall being any good was the one from Seattle's Best Coffee, but I'm assuming its long gone, having been absorbed with its maker into Starbucks and the land of bitter-tasting coffee. So... how did the Bones French Vanilla blend stack up to my memory of a coffee from over a decade ago?

Quite nicely, in fact. 

This review is based on a 4-oz. pre-ground beans, and the coffee was brewed in a drip coffeemaker. This blend has as its basis medium-roasted beans, which I imagine surprises no one reading this. 

As the coffee brewed, I didn't notice anything other than the aroma of coffee coming from the pot, and it wasn't anything beyond what I usually experience or expect--there was no scent of vanilla wafting down the hall into my office as has happened with some previous Bones products (like the Jingle Bells blend, for example). Once poured into my mug, however, I noticed a very vanilla aroma--and when I took a few sips, the coffee was very smooth and the vanilla taste was pleasing and noticeable. If you're the sort of person who likes your coffee black with perhaps just a little sugar or milk in it, I think you wouldn't mind starting your day or ending your dinner with a cut of this. As for myself, I could have continued drinking it straight, but it became far more enjoyable after I added some unsweetened almond milk. When I tried it with a unsweetened almond milk and a dash of sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream coffee creamer, I liked it even more; the vanilla flavor seemed to be slightly enhanced in both cases.

Iced, the French Vanilla blend was smooth and sweet enough that I could drink a cup without feeling like it needed any milk or creamer. The vanilla flavor wasn't as detectable as it was when this coffee was consumed hot, but it came out more clearly when I added unsweetened almond milk.

This is another Bones Coffee blend that I recommend to you wholly and without qualification.

Future high school graduation test leaked!

Oregon recently eliminated any standards for what a high school student needs to know in order to get a diploma until 2022. Shades of Gray has obtained a draft copy of the new standardized test that will be given to all high school students in the state starting with 2022.

(Okay... so that's not the actual test that high school students will have to pass to graduate in Oregon in the future. It's a page of cartoons from 1985 by Ward Batty that was originally published under the heading "Games for the Simple." The reality is that the test will probably be even easier.)

In observation of National Potato Day...

... we present Marilyn Monroe posing with a sack of potatoes while she wears a potato sack.

The Avengers: The Thirteenth Hole

The Thirteenth Hole (1966)
Starring: Patrick Macnee, Diana Rigg, Patrick Allen, Victor Maddern, and Francis Matthews
Director: Roy Ward Baker
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

When a government agent is murdered, John Steed (Mcnee) and Emma Peel (Rigg) are charged with bringing the guilty parties to justice. Their investigation leads them to an exclusive golf club where a traitor is passing state secrets to the Soviets.

"The Thirteenth Hole" is one of the weaker episodes in Season Four, if not the weakest. The problems are many and severe, and they all originate with the sloppy script.

First, the scheme of the bad guys is complex to the point of ridiculousness. Although I sit down expecting an over-the-top espionage or criminal conspiracy yarn that sometimes is only believable or sensible in the pulp-fictiony, cartoonish universe in which the Avengers exist, what I got in this episode was so over the top that it didn't even work as a spoof of the 1960s spy movies where bad guys had elaborate secret hideouts in the weirdest places. Maybe I could have been more forgiving if the script had been better.

Second. something needed better editing here, be it the script or the final product. The story just doesn't hold together, even by the sometimes fast-and-loose logical standards of "The Avengers". This is mostly because characters who seem significant are introduced, only to vanish without further development or explanation, but it occurs to me that maybe that wouldn't have bothered me so much if the characters that do stick around were more interesting. No one seems particularly menacing or amusing... even some comedic antics by Steed on the golf course fall flat.

One saving grace of the episode is that director Roy Ward Baker kept things moving as quickly as possible--perhaps a little too quickly, as touch on above--but that still doesn't make up for the lameness of the characters and the writing in general. Second, there's a gun that fires golf balls' I really like this idea, and it was perfect for causing "accidental deaths" on a golf course. (Well, except for when the dimwitted bad guys star shooting people with it after the course is closed and in the middle of the night.)

All in all, a disappointing outing for the Avengers.... but they can't all be good when you're on the grueling schedule of episodic television.

It's Roman Polanski's birthday!

Roman Polanski--the celebrated writer, director, convicted child rapist, and fugitive from justice--turns 88 years old today.

And to close out this birthday observation, here's Mr. Polanski's theme song.

A fine silent movie with a timeless message

Two Men and a Wardrobe (1958)
Starring: Jakub Goldberga, Henryk Cluba, Barbara Lass, Stanislaw Milchalski, and Roman Polanski
Director: Roman Polanski
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

A strange pair of men emerge from the sea (Goldberga and Cluba), carrying a wardrobe. They try to get along with the people on land, but are rejected everywhere they go.

"Two Men and a Wardrobe" is a story that's equal parts amusing, sad, and infuriating. It also features a heavy dose of surreal fantasy in the form of our mysterious protagonists--the men and the wardrobe of the title--but the magic and joy that seems like it's trying to emerge in the film is, instead, crushed over and over by the vicious or indifferent citizens of the seaside town. The men are either rejected for their strangeness or outright abused. The only ray of positivity that remains by the end of the film is that the men from the sea that not had their kind natures blunted by the abusive townsfolk... but it's a nonetheless bittersweet conclusion, because the town will not benefit from it.

The message of "Two Men and a Wardrobe" isn't delivered in a subtle fashion, but it is still entertaining and clever. It's also a timeless message that is just as worth taking to heart and paying attention to--it's worthwhile to be attentive and considerate of immigrants or visitors who find themselves in a strange land or culture where they don't understand the "rules". If no one is willing to take the time to engage with them and explain what they are doing wrong or how they might be able to fit in, whatever contributions those individuals might be able to make will be lost. 

This is an early film from writer/director Roman Polanski that's well-worth the 15 minutes it will take to watch it. There are a few badly executed edits (exclusively involving the scenes by the seashore), but otherwise it's an effective and entertaining silent film 

 

  

Musical Monday with Julie Newmar

Today, Julie Newmar turns 88 years old. Although she is best known these days for her turn as Catwoman in the 1960s TV show "Batman", her road to stardom began the the theatre as a dancer and a singer in the 1950s and early 1960s.

And so, in observation of Musical Monday, and in honor of Newmar's birthday, we bring you samples of how she was early in her pre-Batman career via clips from televised variety shows, as well as pictures!

And here's Newmar delivering the weather report with Danny Kaye and Harold Morris...

Felix fights because Feline Lives Matter

Felix Revolts (1923)

Director: Otto Messmer

Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

After the mayor and the city council resolves cats are useless and decides to drive all cats out of a city, Felix organizes his fellow felines to fight back.

"Felix Revolts" is a silent animated short film that has stood the test of time. The plot line feels like it mirrors the "social justice movements" that have been sweeping across western nations in recent years. It even captures the stupidity of extreme positions, with a "happy ending" that is the status quo that existed before the beginning of the cartoon is put in writing.

All that said, this cartoon is one of those that both adults and little kids can enjoy, perhaps even taking away different stories from what unfolds on the screen--but certainly taking away different lessons from the results. The best sequences are enjoyable no matter how old, mature, or immature the viewer is, and they all revolve around Felix organizing the cats, and, subsequently their normal enemies the rats, to squeeze the humans. My adult, logical mind couldn't help but wonder what a horrible place that city must be to live in--and how dumb the human population must be--but the kid in me is vastly amused by the protests Felix stages.

I might have given this a rating of Eight Stars if it had just been a couple minutes shorter. There's a sequence involving Felix sabotaging a seafood shop that is so nonsensical that it crosses the line from absurdism to just plain stupid. Since it was Felix's abuse at the hands of the fish-monger that triggered the events of the story, it makes sense that the character and his shop are among the targets the cats go after, but the way it's executed is just dumb. It's not funny, it's not dramatic... it just feels like time-filling nonsense.

Animation-wise, there's nothing particularly outstanding or bad about "Felix Revolts" in comparison to other films from the time, as well as other Felix films. It's cute and it gets the job done--although I could nitpick a couple points for what looks like excessive looping but they're funny so I can be forgiving.

"Felix Revolts" is one of ten early Felix the Cat cartoons contained on Alpha Video's "Felix the Cat: Early Cartoon Classics". The version featured was digitized from a copy held in the personal collection film historian and preservationist John Carpenter, and, although it's a little washed out, it's in far better shape that the ones you can find on YouTube (such as the one embedded below).

If you're not familiar with Felix's antics, and you enjoyed the sample above, I strongly recommend ordering yourself a copy of the Alpha Video collection. The price certainly is one that can't be beat, and your financial support will encourage the making of more such collections.

As Friday the 13th comes to a close....

The Avengers Dossier, Page Sixteen

It's time for another look at a guest-star from an episode of "The Avengers".

BILL FRASER
In "Small Game for Big Hunters", Bill Fraser plays a reclusive retired Army officer whose charitable research foundation may be the center of something truly evil.

Scottish-born William "Bill" Fraser was born in Perth in 1908. He trained to be a bank clerk, but by his late teens he had grown so miserable and bored that he headed off to London in pursuit of a dream of becoming an actor. His early years there were lean--so lean, in fact, that he often would have to sleep out-of-doors on Embankment by the Thames. By sticking  to it, however, he eventually found success as a comedic actor on stage and just before World War II began appearing in movies as either bumbling or sinister police detectives and other authority figures.

Fraser's acting career spanned from the 1920s through the 1980s, and, although he did most of it on stage, he still had more than 130 roles in both film and television, including lead roles in the television series "The Army Game" (1959-1960), "Foreign Affairs" (1950), and "Bootsie and Snudge" (1960 - 1974). He also had a recurring role as an obnoxious judge on "Rumpole of the Old Bailey" (1978 - 1987).

Fraser also ran his own repertory theater company, and he gave Peter Cushing his first acting job while  working as a stage manager at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama. This, in turn, led to Cushing getting a scholarship to attend the school... and the rest is horror and sci-fi movie history.

Fraser's final role was in as Mr. Casby in the 1987 screen adaptation of the classic novel "Little Dorit". He passed away later that year.