Thursday, November 1, 2018

Torchy Blane is a Whole New Woman!

Torchy Blane in Panama (1938)
Starring: Lola Lane, Paul Kelly, Tom Kennedy, Anthony Averill, and Larry Williams
Director: William Clemens
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

A violent bank robber (Averill) passes himself off as a member of the Leopard Lodge to conceal his identity and hide among its members onboard a cruiseship bound for Los Angeles via the Panama Canal. Ace reporter Torchy Blane (Lane), her police detective boyfriend, Steve (Kelly), and a rival reporter (Williams) board the ship in the hopes of identifying the robber before he escapes with the stolen money. Bumbling detective Gahagan (Kennedy) is also aboard, as a member of the Lodge and Steve hopes he'll be able to spot the fraud.


In this, the fifth entry in the "Torchy Blane" series, Glenda Farrell and Barton MacLane are replaced by Lola Lane and Paul Kelly in the roles of Torchy Blane and Steve McBride. This recasting is partly to blame for this being the weakest film in the series yet, but even more blame can be placed on the writers of the screenplay.

First, Paul Kelly is a decent actor, but he's not quite right for the part of Steve McBride, because his slighter frame makes him less of a presence. It also doesn't help that the writers have given the character a streak of sexist immaturity that hasn't been present until this film: For much of "Torchy Blane in Panama"'s running-time, viewers have the sense that Steve and the reporter he teams up don't want Torchy's girl cooties disrupting their male bonding (which include an ongoing and obnoxious prank on Gahagan).

Second, while Torchy is more of an action heroine in this film than she's ever been before (she parachutes from an airplane, she scales the sides of ships and walls, throws punches, and more!), she ultimately ends up as a damsel in distress who must be rescued by Steve from the film's villains. She's as witty as ever, and Lola Lane makes of a good replacement--even if it's odd to suddenly have a brunette playing the lead character in a series that's made a big deal out of the fact she's a blonde--but she is let down by the script-writers who didn't seem to know how to write a woman who didn't need to be rescued.

Thirdly, while the "Torchy Blane" films have always been B-pictures, this is the first one that feels like a 1930s cheapie comedy/mystery. The story focuses more on the clownish antics of Gahagan than ever before, cruel jokes on other characters for no good reason are considered par for the course, and the cops, in general, are so dumb that you're surprised the manage to remember to breathe. While Torchy is ultimately reduced to a damsel in distress, she's still the smartest person around, because the cops are so damn dumb.
"Torchy Blane in Panama" is a major step down quality-wise from previous films, but it still entertaining. The dialogue is just as witty in previous films, and there are a few moments of genuine tension. Lola Lane also makes a decent Torchy, but she is ultimately let down by a script that's too much generic 1930s laff-bag, and too little Torchy Blane.


Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Picture Perfect Wednesday: Bryan Baugh Horror

It's Halloween, and artist Bryan Baugh brings us a Picture Perfect Wednesday for Monsters. The girls might think differently of it.




Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Halloween is almost here...

... and maybe this freaky song and video from Die Atwoord can help get you in the mood, with its equal part silly, sexy, and scary!








Space Girls Meet the Monsters!

It's almost Halloween, and monsters are prowling even in space. Who will win? Space Girls or Space Monsters?
By Alan Quadh
By Bryan Baugh


By Arthur Adams

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Halloween is Coming... and the Mummies Need Women!


From ancient times through today, mummies have been out there stalking women. Why? Who knows. Maybe it's Heather's doing. After all, Heather has two mummies.


By Tom Mandrake & Tony Ojed

By George Appel


By Bryan Baugh

By Tom Mandrake

Monday, October 15, 2018

Movie Monday: A Shot in the Dark

Here's a brief trip down film noir lane to get your Monday off to a good start!


A Shot in the Dark (2015)
Starring: David Macintosh, Holley Bucknam, Reuben Taylor, and Jack Nye
Director: Jeffrey Nye
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Halloween is coming...

... and Norm Breyfogle provides some portraits of heroes fighting to stem the tide of monster attacks!

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Witness the birth of the modern zombie

Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Starring: Judith O'Dea, Duane Jones, Karl Hardman, Marilyn Eastman, Keith Wayne, Judith Reilly, and Kyra Schon
Director: George Romero
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

When the dead rise to eat the living, a small group of people board themselves up in a house and attempt to hold out against an army of hungry zombies.


"Night of the Living Dead" is perhaps one of the most effective horror movies ever made. While its budget constraints are occassionally evident, and the acting leaves something to be desired at times, it still emerges as one of the scariest, most intense, films ever, with near-perfect pacing, great camera work, and sparse but effective set design and special effects. It's also arguably the most influential film of modern times, and many creators of horror and suspense films from the past 20 years probably owe quite a bit to Romero for inspiriation.

The key to the films success is that it incorporates a bit of the morality play aspect that exists at the core of most horror movies with a complete sense of claustrophobia and a certain doom. Although a national (possibly worldwide) disaster in unfolding, the action of movie is mostly confined to a single house, and the threats that those barricaded within come not only from the undead hoard outside, but also from each other as their various character flaws are explosed and amplified due to their situation. (Of course, it also features one of the most disturbing zombie flesh-eating scenes that have ever been put on fillm... if you've seen the film, you know what I mean, and if you haven't yet, you will know as soon as the moment happens.)

Despite recognizing this as a true classic fillm, I also admit it's not perfect. In addition to the acting, there's a couple of plot holes. I recently watched the movie again, and I still find the opening cemetary sequence strange beyond words, and I still am not certain what Barbara's ultimate fate is. (One thing I am certain of is that it's not a racist movie. I watched the film again, because I heard how it was supposed to have racist undertones throughout--undertones that are fully exposed at the film's climax--and since I'd never noticed that, I figured I'd watch the film again. Well, I'm here to tell you that anyone who finds racism in this movie is probably a racist themselves who are engaging in a bit of projection.)

This film is one of the most commonly found in the massive DVD multipacks, and it is a highlight of every package it's in; it plus one or two additional movies you're interested in will make the set worth its purchase price.

If you haven't seen this classic and are a fan of zombie movies and horror movies in general, this is a must-see. It's the original of the "modern zombie" and a damn fine movie to boot.

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Halloween is Coming...

... and be sure to look to the shadows. Sometimes, they will tell you that things are not always as they seem this time of year!


Monday, October 1, 2018

One of the greatest haunted house movies

The Legend of Hell House (1973)
Starring: Roddy McDowall, Clive Revill, Pamela Franklin, and Gail Hunnicutt
Director: John Hough
Rating: Ten of Ten Stars

A parapsychologist (Revill) travels to Balasco House--also known as "Hell House" and reported to be the worst haunted house in the entire world--with his wife (Hunnicutt) and two psychics (McDowell and Franklin) in order to gain indisputable, scientific evidence for the existence of ghosts and other supernatural phenomena. But the evil that dwells within the sprawling mansion never gives up its secrets easily....


"The Legend of Hell House" is one of the greatest haunted house movies ever made. It works, first, because the director and cinematographer manage to convey the sense that the house itself is alive and a character in the movie, and, second, because of the great peformances of the stars, and, third, because it features a script so tight that not a single line of dialogue or action on the part of the characters doesn't feed into the suspense and horror of the film--horror that keeps mounting until the final twist at the movie's end.

This is a movie where everything is done right. The cinematography and lighting is supreme, the actors are all perfect in their parts--with Roddy McDowall as the reluctant psychic shining even brighter than the rest--and the pacing is perfect throughout.

I wish the producers and directors of moden horror movies (particularly ghost movies) would take a look at "Legend of Hell House". This film is far scarier than any ghost movie of recent vintage.