'Say Nothing' is a stylish mini-thriller

Say Nothing (2022)
Starring: Jake Libner, Craig Roath, and Callie Stonecipher
Directors: Joe Rosener and Jak Velinsky
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Jake (Libner) is a prisoner being subjected to a brutal interrogation. When sees an opportunity to escape, he takes it. But will his interrogator (Roath) capture him before Jake reaches the warmth and safety of his home and loving wife (Stonecipher).

"Say Nothing" is a stylish mini-thriller with an aura of film noir hanging around it thickly. I liked it so much that even though I recognized what it was inspired by, and thus knew where it was ultimately headed, I still enjoyed it right up until the end.

One thing I really liked about the film was the clever way the filmmakers handled transitions. There was already artificial abuse and aging (of the kind you see on those bargain DVDs of public domain or copyright-orphaned films from producers like Alpha Video) done to the footage, and they used the appearance of severe scratches and damage to denote scene changes. I also liked the lighting of the scenes in general, as well as the camerawork. The technical aspects of this film really made it for me.

The only real complaint I can mount is that the entire film was too dark. Although I liked the way the scenes were lit, it was sometimes hard to see what was going on because everything was so dark. If the picture had been a bit brighter and with a little more contrast, I think I might have given this a rating of Seven. (I suspect the dark quality of the film may be a product of the desire to make the footage seem "old", despite the prominent presence of a cellphone.)

A less valid complaint, but one that also probably would have prompted me to give "Say Nothing" another Star (for a possible total of Eight) is that I think it could have been served well with a few lines of actual dialog. While it works as a silent movie, and is enhanced by a well-synchronized score, it would have been even stronger if there had been a voice on the cellphone, or if the interrogator spoke a few lines, and even if we got ot hear from Jake and his wife.

But, like I said, this works well enough as a silent movie. Craig Roath is particularly impressive and sinister as the interrogator, but Jake Libner and Callie Stonecipher also do as much as they can with their parts. (They don't get to emote as much as Roath).

Check out "Say Nothing" below; it's only six-and-a-half minutes long. Feel free to share your opinion in the comments below, and let me know if you caught onto where the film was going early on as well.

(BTW, I think I've seen Callie Stonecipher and Craig Roath in other things, but none of their IMDB credits look familiar, nor can I otherwise place them. Anyone out there know what else they've been in recently?)

'Barnyard Melody' is a song of madness

Barnyard Melody (1929)
Starring: Anonymous Voice Actors
Directors: John Foster and Harry Bailey
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

Animals form a singing group, and a farmer lends his voice to their cacophonous effort.

Among the cartoons you should never watch while high or really drunk is "Barnyard Melody". Even stone-cold sober, in a well-ventilated room, and after a good night's sleep, when it's over, you may find yourself questioning if you really just saw what you think you saw.

The best Van Beuren cartoons are wild rides of surreal weirdness. This one starts promising--with a mouse and a cat roller-skating down the road--but the opening also suffers from what ends up sinking this entire cartoon: There is just one single gag that isn't dragged out beyond the point where it stops being amusing and becomes tedious... and that gag is among the weakest the film has to offer.

There's a lot of very funny moments and/or cute moments in this film, but they are all ruined by the way they are dragged out and just go on and on and on. Some are even just the same animation sequence being looped three or more times. It's like instead of coming up with material, they padded a four-minute cartoon until it ran six minutes. Given that this cartoon feels like it's a two-minute bit (an old man joins some animals in a musical group) that was padded out to short-film length with random jokes and surreal bits that make little sense in or out of the context of the film, the fact that so much of it feels padded is even more frustrating. Since this was already a mess of random stuff that was just thrown together between the opening and closing credits, would it REALLY have been that hard to come up with a few more situations?

This is often the point in a review of a Van Beuren cartoon where I often talk about how great the music is. Generally, even the most wretched, badly animated, plotless messes from the shop at least has spectacular music that is artfully coordinated with whatever is unfolding on screen. The music here is... well, interesting. As always, it's well integrated with the action on screen, but in this case that means it must, out of necessity, be intentionally bad. It should come as no surprise that animals who aren't birds aren't that great at singing. The music in this short is up to the usual Van Beuren standards and fits the cartoon perfectly, but this means it's more whacky than what a sane person would describe as "good".

There's a lot to like about "Barnyard Melody", but it's almost overwhelmed by the sense of tedium that replaces the initial amusement or curiosity that you'll feel when a new scene begins. The fact there are some good and fun ideas here made me give this Four Stars. I still think it's worth seeing if you've liked other Van Beuren releases, or if you just want to experience something a little strange. (And, hey, maybe you should watch it high or drunk? I could have it backwards--maybe being in an altered state is the BEST way to experience this one!)

Click below to check out "Barnyard Melody".

Note: The bearded farmer in this film appears in a bunch of the Aesop Fables cartoons. I've seen the character referred to as Farmer Grey or as Al Falfa in writers about the Van Beuren releases, but I've not yet seen one where his name was spelled out. Time will tell if this is a Milton & Rita-type situation where the name is identified in sources other than the actual cartoons, or if I will come across actual mentions as I view more of Van Beuren's output.

Celebrating World Goth Day

The Goth Girls are at Shades of Gray for the 2022 World Goth Day.

Signature Select's Buttery Caramel

I made another trip to the grocery store, heard the call of the coffee aisle, and returned with an impulse buy. I brewed some up, I drank it, and now I'm reviewing it.

SIGNATURE SELECT: BUTTERY CARAMEL

Signature Select is the house-brand for Albertson's and Safeway grocery stores. I've previously reviewed two of their other offerings, Double Dutch Chocolate and Sun-Kissed Blonde (in the second half of the linked post), and I found them tasty and worthy of recommending to all of you. Let's see if Signature Select will have a hat-trick!

The Signature Select Buttery Caramel blend consists of Arabica light roast. The packaging states that should taste rich, sweet, and creamy, which is what I would expect from a light roast that's caramel flavored.

When I opened the bag of pre-ground coffee, the scent of caramel wafted up from it, strongly and delightfully. That aroma was also faintly present around the coffee maker as it brewed, and when I poured it into the mug, the mix of caramel and coffee made me feel certain I was in for a treat.

That is why I was so surprised when this turned out to be one of the bitterest light roast coffees I've ever tasted. Initially, the flavor is what I expected when I drank it hot and black--coffee with a caramel flavor added--but it wasn't sweet nor creamy. It had an edge from the outset... and that got worse when a bitter aftertaste hit. Things got a little better when I tried the coffee with the Unsweetened Almond Milk and sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer, as the caramel flavor was drawn out with both additions. The bitter aftertaste, though, hit just as strong.

I thought perhaps I'd somehow screwed up when brewing the pot. I dumped the rest, cleaned the pot and coffee maker, and brewed a fresh batch. But the result was the same. The bottom line is that this is just not a coffee flavor that I like when it's hot. 

Don't drink Signature Select Buttery Caramel hot,
or you'll find yourself asking, "What is this sh*t?"

The good news is that the bitter aftertaste fades as the the Buttery Caramel blend cools. At room temperature, it's quite tasty whether consumed with Unsweetened Almond Milk or the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer added. It's also quite good black with a packet of Stevia. There is no aftertaste, and the coffee and caramel flavors mingle nicely and almost with the mildness I expect from a light roast.

Where this blend really excels is when it's iced. The caramel flavor is even stronger and the coffee flavor milder. It's delicious whether mixed with Unsweetened Almond Milk or the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. It's even better with Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk (which REALLY mixes nicely with the caramel and coffee flavors); in fact, the Buttery Caramel blend iced with Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk added was my favorite of the variations I tried.

In the final analysis, the Signature Select Buttery Caramel blend is an inexpensive option if you want a tasty iced coffee... but you need to avoid drinking it hot. I don't know exactly what causes the horrid aftertaste, but it's one that I experienced so you didn't have to. Brew this coffee, let it cool, pour it in a jug or bottle you can seal, stick it in the fridge for a while... then enjoy it over ice cubes. Do it any other way, and you're going to regret it.

It's a Fantastic Friday...

... and we dedicate it to honoring the work of George Perez, one of the most fabulous artists to ever draw portraits of the First Family of Comics!

 

Can you name the FF's friends behind them in this picture?

Can you name the FF's foes and frenemies behind them?

The Secret Life of Brigitte Bardot

From early 1964 until the end of 1965, Brigitte Bardot adopted the role of Captain America and prevented the re-emergence of the ancient secret society, Hydra. Here's a rare photo of Bardot in action as Captain America with her sidekick, Becky.

Men, Women, and In-Between in the Workplace

Mabel's Stratagem (1912)
Starring: Mabel Normand, Fred Mace, and Alice Davenport
Director: Mack Sennett
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A secretary (Normand) disguises herself as a man so she can get her job back after her boss's jealous wife (Davenport) insists he fire all female staffers and replace them with males.

"Mabel's Stratagem" is a straight-forward and silly comedy about sex, gender, and sexual harassment in the workplace.  The film is 110 years old, but pretty much all of the situational and gender-based humor works almost as well today, what with all the talk about how there's no difference between men and women, how the society is rotten with power imbalance with the hypocritical rich always abusing the workers, and so on.

While the acting styles are outdated, the film is so fast-moving that viewers hardly have time to notice the excessive pantomiming and emoting (except on the part of Fred Mace who really goes above and beyond). In fact, the only serious complaint I can mount is that maybe the film is a little too fast-moving; the story would be more effective if a little more time could have been spent developing the characters. 

"Mabel's Stratagem" is only five minutes, so I recommend you click below and check it out. I think you'll have fun. 

Remembering Yvonne Craig...

 ... on what would have been her 85th birthday!

Musical Monday with will.i.am

Bang Bang (2013)
Starring: will.i.am and Shelby "Cobra" Spalione
Director: Igor Kovalik
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

In 2012, a physicist threw 80 years worth of musical recordings into the Slaughter Valley Super-Collider and accelerated them to be speed of light. They emerged as a single, unified masterpiece that embodies the spirit of Shades of Gray. 

Click below to witness the Unifying Theme of Shades of Gray in moving pictures and music!

Bones Coffee's Sumatra Single Origin

I checked out another unflavored coffee, and it became the subject of this Sunday's review.

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: SUMATRA SINGLE ORIGIN
Among Bones' offerings is a "World Tour Sample Pack" that features five different coffees from five different parts of the world. I already did a kinda-sorta review of the Bones Costa Rica Single Source blend (in the lower half of this linked post), but I will be covering all the World Tour varieties eventually. And here are my thoughts on the Sumatra Single Source blend.

As could perhaps be deduced from above, this review is based on a 4-oz. sample pack, as are most of my Bones Coffee reviews. Unsurprisingly, the package released a smell of coffee when opened, and a nice strong aroma filled the kitchen as the hot water percolated through the ground coffee.

Unlike most coffees I drink and review, this blend is a dark roast, and, based on what I read, that is the best approach to Sumatran-grown beans. In general, Sumatran coffees are said to have earthy undertones, along with hints of herbs and spices. Bones' sell-copy for their Sumatran blend stated it should have earthy and smoky qualities, and that there should be some dark chocolate flavor in the mix. (I also read that, like with most coffee growing regions, there is no one-flavor-fits-all... that there are many factors that go into shaping the taste in a particular coffee. So I suppose chocolate touches in place of herbs and spices could be possible?)

As dark roasts go, I found the Sumatra Single Origin to be quite pleasant-tasting. Even drinking it black, I found it to be far less bitter than almost any other dark roasts I've had. I credit the supposed chocolatey undertones as well as the somewhat smokey quality that was definitely present as I drank. This is a strong and bold coffee that I think most coffee lovers will enjoy.

As someone who likes his coffee on the sweeter and mellower side, I preferred the Sumatra Single Origin blend when I drank it with the sugar free Italian Sweet Cream creamer, because, well, it was sweet and creamy with the coffee flavor still standing strong. It kept more of an edge when I tried it with the Unsweetened Almond Milk, but a packet of Stevia pushed it more in the perfect direction. In a small deviation from my usual review protocol, I tried a cup of Sumatra with Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk; the vanilla flavor and chocolate undertones seemed to enhance each other, and this was a very enjoyable drink. A touch more vanilla, and I suspect it might have been perfect.  All of the above remained true as the mixtures cooled to room temperature.

Over ice, I think the Sumatra Single Origin worked best black with a little Stevia added (which surprised me). It was also quite delicious with the Unsweetened Almond Milk. Interestingly, the coffee flavor seemed a bit washed out when I tried it with the sugar free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. Over all, though, I think this is a coffee that works best hot or at room temperature.

(That said, since I thought this blend might get tastier with a stronger touch of vanilla, I tried it in my half-assed version of a "White Russian", but using Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk and vanilla flavored vodka... and it was very, VERY tasty!)

Despite having enjoyed, to a greater or lesser degree, every cup of the Sumatra Single Origin blend that drank, I will probably avoid Sumatran coffee in the future. Why? Because while I've often heard that coffee is supposed to give you gas, this is the first time my buzz has resulted in exhaust fumes.

So... if you're ever trapped with me and five other people in a lift and you are trying to figure out who dealt what you have smelled, ask what I've been drinking coffee-wise. If I've been drinking Sumatran coffee, you will have to look no further.