Musical Monday with My Gal Sal

Are you unhappy because you're working on a Monday? Did you come here, hoping your friends at Shades of Gray would have something to life your spirits? Well, you're in luck, old pal! We have a really fun cartoon that you can sing along with!

At the dawn of the talkies, Max Fleischer produced a series of animated shorts based around popular songs and/or folk tunes. Each would, at some point, put the lyrics to the song up on the screen and would encourage the audience to sing along. And, by all accounts, they did and had a great time doing it!

On this very special Musical Monday, we bring you Fleischer's take on "My Gal Sal", a barbershop quartet standard. This short film contains not just one sequence of funny animal characters singing, but three different ones. These vignettes cross over with one another and get progressively weirder as they go. The cartoon can even be held up as having some social relevance as one of the segments carries a suicide prevention message. And, last but not least, it is also one of the very best the series has to offer.

So... gather coworkers around your computer! Lift your spirits by singing along with a classic cartoon, just like they did in 1930!

My Gal Sal (1930)

Starring: Anonymous Singers

Director: Dave Fleischer

Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

Coffee Beanery's Butterscotch Toffee

I wrote some notes on the most recent way I've found pleasure in my caffeine addiction! 

COFFEE BEANERY: BUTTERSCOTCH TOFFEE

There's a subtitle on this medium-roast, all-Arabica blend that describes it as "candy-coated coffee". That certainly sounded promising. But did this blend deliver on that promise?

As the coffee brewed, there was no detectable aroma other than coffee, which is often the case with flavored coffees. There was also no detectable scent as I poured the first cup--other than, of course, coffee.

The taste is what matters, though. While I wouldn't describe this blend as tasting like it was "candy-coated", it did taste like a piece of hard candy had been dissolved in the pot. The Butterscotch Toffee blend is a mild-flavored coffee that tastes as if it's very slightly sweetened. It was so mild that even a pathetic wretch like me--who hardly ever drinks any coffee without adding some form of milk, creamer, booze, or some combination of all of the above--would be able to drink it black if called upon.

This blend was okay when mixed with Unsweetened Almond Milk; in fact, it paradoxically seemed to gain a little more of a bite when the milk was added. This might have been a drawback with other blends, but it worked extremely well here since it's so mellow to begin with.

This blend, however, was excellent when mixed with the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. The butterscotch flavor was drawn out and moved to the center of the flavor profile, and here the coffee did indeed seem candy-coated. It was very sweet, but not cloyingly so.

Jimmy soon learned Kim was serious when she said, "Touch my coffee, and I'll end you."

The flavors remained stable as the coffee cooled to room temperature, regardless of what it was mixed with. The mildness of this blend works really well when the coffee has cooled. Drinking the Butterscotch Toffee blend at room temperature with Unsweetened Almond Milk was my favorite out of the ways I tried it.

With that said, though, the Butterscotch Toffee blend is also pretty good iced. The flavor is almost a little too mild when consumed black, but once either Unsweetened Almond Milk or the sugar-free Italian Sweet Creamer has been added, the sweetness of the toffee reemerges. For those who like their iced coffee sweet (but who would like to avoid sugar), I think this could be a good choice.

Fantastic Friday

On Thursday, June 16, 2022, artist Tim Sale (perhaps best known for his work on "The Long Halloween" and "Dark Victory" from DC Comics) passed away after being briefly hospitalized. We're dedicating this Fantastic Friday to the memory of Mr. Sale by presenting a trio of portraits that arose from direct commissions from Dr. Victor Von Doom, King of Latveria.

The Big Cheese has a visit from the Mouse

Big Cheese (1930)
Starring: Anonymous Voice Actors (but there are no important spoken lines)
Directors: John Foster and Manny Davis
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A boxer from the rough side of town trains for the big prize fight while bullying all who crosses his path.

"Big Cheese" is one of the lesser efforts from the Van Beuren animators--there's excessive looping, gags that get dragged out past the point of being funny, and sloppy animation that leads to character's changing appearances for no reason. Oftentimes, such weak efforts are saved by excellent music and/or songs, but that's not even the case here. There are just enough gags that work to hold a viewer's, and there's also a healthy dose of bizarre, surreal, and out-of-left-field cartoon character transformations to keep the "what the hell am I watching" quotient at an acceptable and entertaining level. And the prize match is mostly hilarious--even if they don't quite pull off the ending.

Despite its overall weakness, this COULD have been a Five-Star rated cartoon, or perhaps even a Low Six if someone, at some point during the production process, had said, "Hey... this story-thread that starts when our Mickey Mouse look-alike character shows up? We just sort of drop it when it really should come back around in the big finale! In fact, we set it up perfectly to do so--so why don't we do it?!" (Basically, Mickey Mouse gets bullied by the boxer, gains super-strength, and then wanders around a bit punching things. If someone who worked on "Big Cheese" had even the slightest notion of how to tell a story, he would have been present for the chaotic brawl at the end of the cartoon, and he would have kicked everyone's butt.)

I have perhaps given a mild spoiler above, but I don't think so. At most, I've given you what you need to not waste your time with this one, if you're a Van Beuren fan. (On the other hand, if you enjoy a good boxing spoof, you'll like boxing match during the second half... and if you're on a quest to watch all the appearances of the Van Beuren Mickey Mouse knock-off [like me], then you'll want to check this out by clicking below.)

Bessie Love and the Crown of Eternal Mastery

We once again provide a glimpse of a time when Bessie Love (as part of her secret battle against supernatural evil) perhaps saved the world... but at the very least took a powerful magic item out of malicious hands. As per usual, we translate the item into roleplaying game terms via the d20 System.

 

On Halloween, 1928, Bessie Love had her first of many encounters with evil-doers trying to harness magic and enchanted artifacts left behind after the fall of ancient Atlantis. She prevented a necromancer from harnessing the powers of the Gourdians, and, in doing so, came into possession of the Crown of Eternal Mastery. She even wore it to a Halloween Party that night--where she accidentally gained some insight into its powers. (Bessie found herself to be a better dancer than she had ever been before, as well as feeling more limber and dexterous while waring the Crown. She took this to mean that it enhanced a person's agility and dexterity. She failed to imagine the full power of the item, and she put it away in her collection of magical artifacts without ever realizing the truth.)

THE CROWN OF ETERNAL MASTERY

This is a large, elaborate headdress that consists of a caul that's covered with a complex and tangled arrangement of gemstones and pearls on strings or set into delicate platinum frames.  It represents the pinnacle of magical craftsmanship based in a fusion of the now-mostly forgotten Atlantean magical disciplines of Biomancy and Technomancy. It absorbs all knowledge and skills possessed by someone who dies while wearing it, allowing others to later access and use it as if it was their own. Each pearl contains the sum total of experience and knowledge possessed by a person who has passed on. Each gem houses not only a person's knowledge and experience but their personality as well.

   If it is subjected to methods that reveal magical auras, the Crown of Eternal Mastery is revealed to be imbued with powerful magics of an undeterminable variety. If the character attempting to analyze the item's magical aura is a skilled at creating enchanted items, he or she can make an Arcane Lore or Spellcraft skill check (DC18) to determine that there are faint undercurrents of abjuration and necromantic magic in the otherwise alien emanations.

Using the Crown of Eternal Mastery

When worn, the Crown of Eternal Mastery provides the wearer with a +2 bonus to Will saves. Additionally, the character can gain bonuses to skill checks and attack rolls for a limited time.

   Unless the character somehow gains access to ancient Atlantean means of determining the functions of magical items, the Crown of Eternal Mastery will initially seem to function at random. Whenever the character wearing the Crown makes an attack roll or skill check, the GM should roll against the following table. The character gains the indicated bonuses for the duration of the encounter; until another skill check is made; until the character falls unconscious or goes to sleep; or for six hours. The GM decides which of the three options makes the most sense in the context of when the item is triggered.

   The bonuses provided by the Crown stack with all other bonuses. The bonuses do not count for purposes of damage resistance against non-magical weapons.

d20 Roll    Result

1                +4 bonus to all Strength-based skill checks.

2                +2 bonus to all Strength-based skill checks,

                  +2 bonus to all melee attack rolls/melee damage rolls.

3                +4 bonus to all Dexterity-based skill checks

4                +2 bonus to all Dexterity-based skill checks,

                  +2 bonus to all ranged attack rolls.

5                +4 bonus to all Constitution-based skill checks.

6                +4 bonus to all Intelligence-based skill checks.

7                +6 bonus to all Craft skill checks.

8                +4 bonus to all Wisdom-based skill checks.

9                +4 bonus to all Charisma-based skill checks.   

10              +6 bonus to all Perform skill checks.

11              +4 bonus to attack/damage with bladed melee weapons.

12              +4 bonus to attack/damage with blunt melee weapons.

13              +4 bonus to attack/damage with thrown weapons.

14              +4 bonus to ranged attack rolls.

15              +8 bonus to all Knowledge skill checks.

16              +8 bonus to all Perform skill checks with instruments.

17              +8 bonus to Acrobatics and Perform (Dance) skill checks.

18              +8 bonus to Hide and Move Silently skill checks.

19              Roll twice on this table, ignoring and re-rolling additional

                  results of 19. Gain both benefits.

20              Gain instant knowledge of the purpose of the Crown

                  and how to properly use it.

Whenever the character is under one of the benefits of the Crown, he or she feels like some unseen presence is there, watching. The GM should also secretly roll 1d6. On a "6", the character hears a faint voice, a barely audible whisper that is so faint the character can't hear what is being said. The third time the character hears the voice, he or she is finally able to discern the words: The voice is explaining how to use the Crown of Eternal Mastery.

Using the Crown of Eternal Mastery Properly

The character wearing the Crown of Eternal Mastery may attempt to invoke its powers once per round. To do so, the character takes a standard action, and the player rolls a Willpower saving throw (DC11). If the roll is successful, the player declares which of the following benefits the character gains:  

   * +4 bonus to all attack rolls, and a +4 bonus to all skill checks under the physical attributes (Strength, Dexterity, Constitution).

   * +4 bonus to all attack rolls, and a +4 bonus to all skill checks under mental attributes (Intelligence, Wisdom).

   * +4 bonus to all attack rolls, and a +6 bonus to all skill checks under the Charisma attribute.

   * +6 bonus to all Demotions, Disable Device, Hide, and Move Silently skill checks.

   * +8 bonus to all Knowledge skill checks.

The bonuses lasts for six hours, or until the character chooses another set of bonuses. The bonuses also end if the character falls unconscious or goes to sleep while wearing the crown. (See "Drawbacks of the Crown of Eternal Mastery", below, for more.)

   If the Will saving throw to properly activate the Crown's benefits fails, the GM rolls on the table of random bonuses.

Drawbacks of the Crown of Eternal Mastery

If the character falls unconscious or goes to sleep while wearing the crown, one of the personalities in housed in the gems takes control of the character's body. The character retains all physical attributes (Strength, Dexterity, Constitution), but the Charisma attribute is temporarily reduced by 2 points. Mental attributes (Intelligence and Wisdom) are replaced by those of the controlling spirit. The possessing spirit has access to all of the player character's memories and skills, as well as well as its own. The spirit is motivated primarily by a desire to keep the player character safe and help him or her to succeed. (Whether the GM plays the character while it is inhabited by a different spirit is up to the GM.)

   If the player character dies while wearing the Crown of Eternal Mastery, his or her spirit is instantly absorbed into one of the Crown's gems and is added to the preserved knowledge and skill mastery preserved within it.

Destroying the Crown of Eternal Mastery

Any method that will destroy a normal magic item will destroy the Crown of Eternal Mastery. However, 1d6+2 angry ghosts emerge from the Crown and attack those who are attempting to destroy it. 

--

All text in this post is presented under the Open Game License and may be reproduced in accordance with its terms. Copyright 2022 by Steve Miller. 

A high-flying early action/comedy!

A Dash Through the Clouds (1912)
Starring: Mabel Normand, Fred Mace, Phillip Orin Parmelee, Jack Pickford, and Sylvia Ashton

Director: Mack Sennett

Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Josephine (Normand) is more fascinated by airplanes and pilots than she is by her would-be boyfriend (Mace). After he jealously acts out and ends up being pursued by an angry, blood-thirsty mob, he comes to appreciate Josephine's love of aviation, as she and a pilot (Parmelee) come from the sky to rescue him.

 

"A Dash Through the Clouds" is a fun little action comedy where Mabel Normand screen presence and more natural acting style than her fellow cast members combine with a sense of excitement and wonder over the still-new technology of flight to almost make up for the thin and somewhat poorly structured storyline of the film.

While watching this film for its entertainment value might be reason enough to check it out, an added bonus is to watch it for the scenes featuring the rickety, early airplane where pilot and passenger sat on the wings, in front of the engine, with nothing between them and the sky. It's even more remarkable to see that it's actually actress Mabel Normand who's taking to the sky onboard the plane. because she glances over her shoulder toward the camera as it is lifting off. 


All the bits with the plane, whether it's landing or taking off, or being shown in flight are fascinating lots of fun to watch--and I imagine viewers who are aviation buffs like our heroine will find it doubly so. While this wasn't the first film to feature the then-new technology of planes, I think it may be the first where a plane and a pilot is a central and indispensable part of the plot.

Click below and join Mabel Normand on a dash through the clouds!  

Trivia: "A Dash Through the Clouds" was Parmelee's first and only film appearance. He was a real-life aviation pioneer--exactly the sort of dashing daredevil he portrays in this film. He died at the age of 25 as his plane crashed on June 1, 1912, just days after completing his scenes for the film. (The film first appeared in theatres on June 26, 1912, almost 110 years to the day of this post appearing.)

Musical Monday with Coldplay

Magic (2014)
Starring: Ziyi Zhang, Chris Martin, and Peter Fonda
Director: Jonas Aakerlund
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

The best music videos are those that are narrative short films, be they silent movies where the song they are made promote serves as the score, or mini-musicals. Beautifully shot and skillfully edited performance videos where someone is just standing around singing while the band plays are nice and all, but they are far less interesting and creatively worthwhile than something that tells a story.

And, boy, does this video tell a story.

In "Magic", a female illusionist in a traveling show (Zhang) is married to a vicious, abusive man (Fonda). Her assistant (Martin) is secretly in love with her, and, to not only become closer to her, but to also free her from her situation, he becomes not only a master illusionist but actually masters real magic. 

This is a well-acted little fantasy film (unsurprising, since both Zivi Zhang and Peter Fonda are talented, experienced actors) that blends seamlessly with the song it underscores as the narrative weaves its way around Chris Martin singing and practicing magic. If the plot had unfolded just a tiny bit different (in regards to the fate of the villainous Fonda--there's nothing necessarily wrong with it but I just wanted more) this would have gotten Ten of Ten Stars!

Check it out. I'm fairly certain you won't see anything more magical on this Musical Monday!

Coffee Beanery's French Vanilla

It's Sunday morning, so it's time for another coffee review! (As is standard when I do these reviews, I tried the coffee black; then with Unsweetened Almond Milk; and also with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. I also drank it hot, room temperature, and iced in all three modes.)

"Drink coffee like you're one those French girls."

COFFEE BEANERY: FRENCH VANILLA

I may be developing a hot-and-cold relationship with Coffee Beanery... and I'm not referring to drinking their coffee either hot or iced. No... it's because I disliked their French Vanilla blend as almost as much as I loved their Michigan Cherry blend, which I reviewed last week.

French Vanilla-flavored coffee is one of those drinks that comes in as many varieties as there are coffee shops and roasteries. Often--like with this blend from Coffee Beanery--it's a medium-roast that's done with vanilla beans added, or a vanilla flavor infused through other means. Other times--like if you go to Starbucks--the French Vanilla is a medium- or light-roast with some variety of vanilla syrup added, and perhaps a little milk. Heck, the coffee shop might just break out the vanilla flavored almond milk, like they used to at my favorite (now sadly gone) indie coffee stand. (On a similar note, the best French Vanilla coffee I have had anywhere was the stuff they used to serve at Seattle's Best... another coffee outlet which is now gone. Their blend is still available in grocery stores, thought, and I've had the same good experience with it at home as I used to in the shops.)

However it's arrived at, the desired result with a cup of French Vanilla coffee is that it's on the milder side when it comes to the intensity of the coffee, with the vanilla flavor either being there in place of some other sweetener or manifesting itself as a pleasant aftertaste. A smooth, creamy quality is also typcial, hence the reason why it's often made with at least a splash of milk in the cup.

I am a big fan of well-made French Vanilla coffee. I often drink my home-brewed coffee with sugar-free French Vanilla creamer or with Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk. Unfortunately, what resulted when I brewed a sample package of Coffee Beanery's French Vanilla blend, what resulted was not well-made. If I hadn't read the label, I wouldn't have known it was a medium-roast, nor allegedly French Vanilla.

The coffee smells nice as it brews--when does coffee not smell nice as it brews?-- and it both looks and smells promising as it's poured into the cup. But the flavor? The flavor is that of burned coffee. I couldn't detect any vanilla in the foreground, background, or as an aftertaste. All I got from a black cup of Coffee Beanery's French Vanilla was a burnt flavor with a sour aftertaste that put me in mind of that terrible cup of Starbucks Pike Place blend I had a few months back. Since I rarely drink any coffee black, I thought that was perhaps the reason for my reaction and that it would get better when I added some "mixers" to it.

This turned out to not be the case.

When I tried this brew with the Unsweetened Almond Milk, the aftertaste grew worse than better and it did very little to improve the burned taste. I then tried a cup with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. This was sweet enough and strongly flavored enough to overcome the basic vileness of the coffee, but it still wasn't very good. It tasted like ashy dirt mixed with Italian Sweet Cream. And there was still no hint of vanilla flavor. Drinking either mixture at room temperature did not improve the taste much, although the aftertaste was a little milder.

In attempt to tease out the vanilla flavor, I broke with the usual protocol here and tried a cup of Coffee Beanery's French Vanilla with some Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk and a little Stevia. The only vanilla I could taste was the vanilla in the milk, and the nasty aftertaste was as bad as ever.

This blend did not fare better iced when consumed black. The burned flavor was present, as was the aftertaste; both were milder, as would be expected from an iced coffee, but they were unmistakable. I admit that I didn't even bother trying it with just the Unsweetened Almond Milk, but instead added a little Stevia immediately. The coffee was better tasting this way, but still nothing that I would recommend to anyone else; everything I've complained above was still present although milder. Iced and with the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer, is where this blend worked best with the nastier flavors being almost completely washed out. Of course, the reason for this was probably because 1/3rd of the cup was creamer, since I was almost out of the blend at this point. (The Coffee Beanery sample packs only yield one pot, so I only have about two-thirds of the coffee to work with that I've had with many of my other reviews.)

No one around here is dancing with joy after drinking this French Vanilla blend.

So... in the end, I have nothing good to say about Coffee Beanery's French Vanilla blend. It's possible that I somehow screwed up when I brewed the pot upon which this review was based... possible, but not very likely. I made this post as I've made pots of coffee ever since I got that particular coffee maker 2-3 years ago. If you've tried this blend, and you've had a different experience than the one I did, please leave a comment below.

For now, I hope my next sampling of what Coffee Beanery has to offer is more like their Michigan Cherry than their Frend Vanilla. Keep an eye on this space to see if that hope comes true.

Saturday Strangeness with Xing Xu

Mushrooms (2022)
Starring: Laura Dromerick
Director: Xing Xu
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A woman wanders a lakeside orchard and... oh, just watch it. You tell ME what makes a good summary.

YouTube is a great place for filmmakers to share short films that otherwise might never be seen by random members of the public. Sadly, they mostly end up in obscure corners of the site, so while they may now be out there to be discovered and appreciated, they still go mostly unseen. But at least they're there for ME to find and feature in post here, upping the chance of these creative efforts to be seen.

Every so often, I come across one such film that makes me say, "I don't think I know what this film is about, but I like everything about it!" The latest of these is "Mushrooms" from New York City-based writer/director Xing Xu. She describes herself as an artist who makes "music videos and magick art".

I might classify "Mushrooms" as a music video--the spooky, sometimes chilling music by Nurse With Wound is a prime driver in this two-minute film--if not for the free-verse narration. It's a non-narrative bit of filmmaking that I THINK is about beginnings and ends and the life that exists between them, but it could also just be a bit of spookiness that I should have saved for the 31 Nights of Halloween extravaganza crossover with Terror Titans in October.

But why don't you take a couple minutes (literally) to check out this neat little bit of art. And, like I asked above, if you can give us a good "teaser summary"--share it!

(Also, keep an eye out for another work from Xing Xu on a future Musical Monday.)

Happy birthday, Gina Gershon!

Actress Gina Gershon turns 60 today. Here are some pictures celebrating her decades in front of cameras!