Musical Monday with Garbage

We invite you to start this week with something a little dark and a little twisted that's performed by Garbage, but is anything but garbage! In fact, this is an excellent song supported by a fantastic video.

Queer (1995)

Starring: Shirley Manson, Duke Erikson, Butch Vig, and Steve Marker
Director: Stephane Sednaoui

Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

In case there was any doubt...

 ... we here at Shades of Gray do know that Easter is about more than babes and bunny costumes.

Bones Coffee's Carrot Cake

What does the Easter Bunny drink during his breaks? I have the answer... and I also tell you whether it's something I think YOU should drink!

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: CARROT CAKE
Carrot Cake is another cake-inspired blend based on medium-roasted Arabica beans, from a company that specializes in flavored coffees. This is one of those blends that they seem to rotate with their seasonal offerings, so it's not always available. (I don't know if they intentionally made it available around Easter time, or if it was just coincidence, but it worked out perfectly for my purposes.)

Based on customer comments, this is a much-loved variety, and long-time Bones Coffee customers are happy to have it back. But is it really deserving of their love? Not all Bones blends are good--some are downright undrinkable--so what about this one?

Like most of my Bones reviews, this one is based on a 4-oz. sample pack (which I've been ordering 5-10 at a time, and working my way through at the rate of one every three-four days). 

When I first opened the package, I detected a faint whiff of Carrot Cake. As the coffee brewed, however, there was no particular aroma that could detected from the coffeemaker other than. Experiences has shown that... well, that sometimes Bones blends are fabulously aromatic and not so fabulously tasting, or no more aromatic than your average coffee but deliver great flavor from the cup. Experience has also shown that there can be great variation in flavors depending on how a blend is consumed and what is added to it, with the same type of coffee being magic in the mouth, or a terror to the taste buds.

 

When I poured the first cup, a vaguely sweet smell rose from the cup. When consumed it hot and black, the flavor of carrot cake mixes pleasantly with that of coffee. Although it was still had a little too much bite for my weak palate, I can see myself drinking this without any milk or creamer added if none were available. That said, I could not really taste the cream cheese icing that supposedly should also be present here, but the carrot cake definitely came through.

Interestingly, when I tried this with Unsweetened Almond Milk, the coffee flavor was drawn out while the carrot cake flavor retreated; the almond milk make this taste more like straight, black coffee than it did when I drank it straight. As the coffee cooled, though, the sweeter undertones of carrot cake reemerged--and this time, the icing flavor was there, too. At room temperature, it was a GREAT-tasting coffee beverage!

I was already beginning to write this article in my head as I moved onto trying a cup of Carrot Cake with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer--but my first sip of this next cup reminded me about the hazards of leaping to conclusions. Where the almond milk obscured the carrot-cakeness of this blend when it was hot, the creamer brought it powerfully and tastily to the fore, cream cheese frosting flavor and all. As the coffee cooled, the enhanced carrot cake and icing flavor remained stable and strong. A great drink was even better with the creamer added.

To my great delight, the Carrot Cake blend also works over ice. I have come to fear disappointment during this, typically my final taste test for these reviews; several Bones blends become incredibly salty when consumed ice, some to the point where it's like drinking coffee with actual salt added.

This did not happen with Carrot Cake, thankfully. Instead, when consumed over ice, the flavors of coffee and carrot cake mix in a mellow fashion, as they did when I drank the blend straight. When iced, both the almond milk and the creamer made the flavors of carrot cake and icing pop, although not to the degree when the coffee is consumed at room temperature. Still, it tasted great.

Carrot Cake is another excellent offering from Bones. If you're looking for a nice dessert coffee or just something sweet, you should check this one out before it leaves the rotation again. You can check out what Bones Coffee has on their website by clicking here, or you can see what's available at their store on Amazon. 

The Easter Bunny Backups

In case of trouble, the Shades of Gray Easter Bunny Backups are standing by.

Rachel Weisz is the Back-up Bunny this year.

And she will be supported by Mystery Bunny (who is secretly actress Tallulah Willis).

Meanwhile, Sheena Liam--Malaysia's greatest embroidery artist, fashion model, and expert in Martian Easter traditions--will leap into action to deliver eggs to any visitors from the Red Planet. 

Happy birthday to Sarah Michelle Gellar!

Sarah Michelle Gellar, perhaps best known for her roles in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and the American versions of "The Grudge" and "The Grudge 2", turns 45 years old today. Even if you don't know her from the aforementioned series or movies, you've undoubtedly come across her at some point during her career, which stared when she was just 4 years old, went through her childhood, teenaged years, and into full-fledged Scream Queen status as she reached adulthood. She's has been in more than a dozen horror films and had recurring and/or starring roles in many television series, ranging from thrillers, to action, to comedy. Even if you haven't seen her, you may have heard her voice in cartoons or video games.

Today, we mark her reaching Middle Age with pictures from past couple decades.

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly

Not too long ago, one of the smartest of all living Americans declared that she was unable to determine if someone is a woman, because she's not a biologist.

Well, no one would mistake us here at Shades of Gray for being smart, nor are any of us biologists... but we can say without doubt or hesitancy that one of our favorite people, Milla Jovovich, is all woman!

These photos leave not doubt as to her womanhood, femaleness, and all the rest!

 

 Um. Well... she... um...

 

 Hm. Well... yeah. We're not biologists, either.

An interesting effort from a new filmmaker

Loop (2022)
Starring: Bryn Wilson and Christian Gillam
Director: Aaron Delaney
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

A young woman (Wilson) takes the path less traveled... and finds herself trapped in the Twilight Zone with a mysterious fellow wanderer (Gillam).

"Loop" is another gem that I discovered in the distant corners of YouTube while searching for interesting things to watch and write about in this space. I assume it's an effort by a beginning filmmaker, and I think that if he sticks with it and masters his craft, we'll be treated to great stuff in a few years.

The basic idea and execution of "Loop" is an engaging one, but it's one that is very tricky to execute and which could become very boring to watch, very fast. Delaney, however, keeps things moving and shows a near-perfect sense of timing with the points at which he introduces plot complications and story elements as the film unfolds. This film got my imagination going, and I find myself thinking about the unanswered mysteries it presents, long after the end credits rolled. There's no higher praise I can give a film other than to say it left me with questions that I have fun puzzling out answers to.

As much as I enjoyed "Loop", I can't ignore its technical flaws. Delany makes several ambitious attempts at in-camera edits/effects that he doesn't quite pull off, and the sound mixing leaves a lot to be desired--the dialogue is too soft and the soundtrack music is too loud. There are also a couple points where the camera should have placed in a slightly different place to avoid having a sign in the background. That sign undermined the sense that the characters are trapped in some unknowable paranormal place and thus came dangerously close to spoiling the whole film. (As it is, that sign is responsible for me giving this film a Five instead of a Six Out of Ten Stars.)

If you have a few minutes, check you "Loop" by clicking below. I hope you find it as interesting and imagination-stirring as I did!

Summer Dreaming... with Coffee

Lately, I've been drinking varieties of the black miracle juice that make me think of summer... and in this post, I'm going to let you know what I think of them!

The Shades of Gray gang may have fun in the sun,
or we may just join this gentleman for a quiet cuppa out of doors!

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: SHARK BITE

Nothing says summer fun and frolicking at the beach than shark attacks. So... this is a summer-themed coffee, right?

Shark Bite is the third rum-flavored variety from Bones I reviewed. Almost everything I said about the Coconut Rum and Highland Grog applies to Shark Bite: This is a smooth, medium roast-based blend where the flavor of rum dominates but mixes easily with that of coffee and other augmenting flavors. The flavor profile remains strong and consistent whether the drink is consumed hot, at room temperature, or chilled and over ice. The saltiness that sometimes creeps into Bones offerings as they cool also does not manifest itself in this blend.

Shark Bite is set apart from the two similar Bones offerings by having a hard-to-describe flavor that seems almost cinnamon-y as you start drinking, but the taste becomes sweeter as you get to the bottom of your cup. The rum flavor and the spiciness of the drink also seem to trade places as you drink, with the spice being the first thing you notice initially, but eventually the sweet undertones of rum become the dominant flavor. Underneath it all, is a constant foundation of smooth coffee.

If you liked the other two rum-flavored blends, but think you'd want a little more spice in the mix, then this is the one to go with. Another reason you might want to try try Shark Bite is that drinking it just a remarkable experience. 

Bones Coffee makes humorous ads (such as this one) where they tout the notion that drinking their coffee is an experience rather than just an act of sustaining ones existence. While most of their flavored coffees are exceptional beverages, and I've used the word "experience" in describing the act of consuming them, I think that I say that Shark Bite is quite literally an experience. It's remarkable the way the flavor shifts as you consume it. This is definitely one of the more interesting blends Bones has brought to market--and what with this being the 37th of their offerings I've reviewed, I think I can make that statement with authority.

I would be amiss if I didn't commend Bones Coffee Company on yet another entertaining and evocative cartoon on the front of their package. I hope our friend Bones recovers his arm from the shark though!

SIGNATURE SELECT'S SUN-KISSED BLONDE 

Is coffee sexy? Well, I usually wouldn't think so--Folger's television ads aside--but when I saw the bags of Signature Select's Sun-Kissed Blonde on the shelf at Safeway, something along this line popped into my head:

It goes without saying, I bought a bag... because if I hadn't, I couldn't be writing this review.

Signature Select's Sun-Kissed Blonde is described on the package as a light roast... which means it could be a blonde roast as that's something of a shifting definition. The flavor of this coffee is almost mild and sweet enough that it could be a blonde roast, although it does have a little more of the bite that you find in darker roasts than was present in the Iced Blonde from Starbucks which is officially described as a blonde roast.

(A "blonde roast", by the way, is the lightest possible roast. It's basically a roast for coffee drinkers who aren't terribly fond of the typical coffee taste; at least in my book, the darker the roast, the more bitterness there is to the coffee and the more it tastes like what I think of as "traditional coffee"... and the more sugar or milk/creamer it needs before it's drinkable. Blonde roasts are almost mild enough that I can drink a cup without adding anything--almost. Blonde roasts are also ones that you should stay away from if you have stomach issues--the resulting brews are more acidic than darker roasts.)

The thing that I noticed primarily about Sun-Kissed Blonde is that it was every bit as mild as the package promised. The "nutty" undertones weren't noticable until I added almond milk or creamer but then they really popped. I suppose this means this blend behaves like a number of blondes out there--they're demure until they have some liquid refreshments and then they turn nutty!

All joking about blondes aside, I tried Sun-Kissed Blonde with a couple different agendas in mind. First, could it be a possible replacement for the pre-made Starbucks Iced Blonde--a bag of this will yield roughly 1.5 - 2 times the amount of coffee as the Starbucks bottles, for about 2/3rds the price. Second, would it be a good foundation for making my own "flavored coffees"?

Addressing the second agenda first, I put Sun-Kissed Blonde through all the usual tests--drinking it black, with Unsweetened Almond Milk, and then with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer; it all three ways, I drank it both hot, at room temperature, and chilled over ice. I enjoyed it in all three modes, although my favorite standard test mode was drinking it hot with the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. Additionally, the Sun-Kissed Blonde blend went great with Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk when hot... and it mixed great with vodka and Unsweetened Chocolate Almond Milk when I used it to make one of my half-assed homemade variant on a White Russian. 

This blend as worked extremely well when used as the foundation for my home-made chocolate-flavored coffee (which involves mixing ground coffee with dark cocoa powder), regardless of whether I drank it hot, room temperature, or over ice. I have been using medium-roasts from a variety of outlets for this, but I liked the results not only with the chocolate but also with the vodka. This coffee really sang when mixed with vanilla- and cherry-flavored vodka, too.

Which takes me back back to the first first agenda: How effective is Sun-Kissed Blonde as a replacement for Starbucks' Iced Blonde? Very effective, I say. 

The coffee flavor is stronger with the Sun-Kissed Blonde than it is with the Starbucks Iced Blonde--or at least it weathers mixing with other liquids and flavors better. This could be attributed to different roasting styles, or maybe because I make the coffee stronger than Starbucks does? There's really no way for me to know for sure. The only benefit I can see offhand to having a bottle filled with Starbucks Iced Blonde instead of one filled with chilled Signature Select's Sun-Kissed Blonde is that the Starbucks coffee comes pre-brewed and pre-chilled, so there's ease and instant gratification.

Overall, though, I found Sun-Kissed Blonde to be better-tasting than Iced Blonde. In the future, I'll most likely be taking the cheaper (yet more demanding) path toward having coffee available for drinking iced.

Dr. Victor Frankenstein, demonstrating how flavored coffees are created.
(Mad science plays a part, whether in Steve's kitchen or at a roastery.)

'Sinister Stuff' doesn't deliver enough

Sinister Stuff (1934)
Starring: Anonymous Voice Actors
Director: Steve Muffati
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

Cubby the Bear must save his lady love from the villainous wolf who holds the mortgage to the home she shares with her aged mother.

"Sinister Stuff" is one of at least 18 cartoons featuring Cubby the Bear that appeared during the run of the the Aesop's Fables cartoon anthology series. Like pretty much everything from the Van Beuren animation shop, the episodes vary greatly in quality. This one is at the lower end of the scale; there are worse ones out there, but there are also far better ones.

The strong points of "Sinister Stuff" include the music. As is often the case with Van Beuren efforts, the music is excellent and it's very important in this film where the characters don't sing, but they do all speak in verse and rhymes. The end result is the sense that we're watching a weird operetta, and it feels very appropriate since it's a spoof of old-time melodramas. 

The animation here is also superior to what is present in many Van Beuren efforts, with details both in the backgrounds and foregrounds as characters go through their antics. This better-than-average animation also augments and elevates the hilarity and oddness of the several bicycle gags featured (even if one is dragged down slightly by some looping).

The supporting characters are also a lot of fun, from the villain's three sidekicks (who must be related to the weirdos that stiffed Tom & Jerry for cab fare back in 1931) to the fretting mother about to be homeless. In fact, the three sidekicks are the center of the film's funniest moments.

Unfortunately, the bad in this film outweighs all those good parts... and the bad all revolves around story. It starts off well enough as a straight-forward spoof of the stereotypical melodramas with a mustache-twirling villain kidnapping the hero's lady love and putting her in an extreme danger than only he can rescue her from. As it builds toward the climax, however, it begins to fall apart: Jokes are set up that don't pay off, the cartoon-comedy battle between the villain and the hero ranks among the lamest I've ever seen, and the ending just sort of falls flat (although it does reflect the late Pre-Code period in which this film was produced.

Perhaps the most damning thing about "Sinister Stuff" is that as I was watching it, I found myself thinking that Van Beuren's team had done a similar thing much better back in 1929 (and even that effort wasn't all that good).

But don't just take my word for it. If you have a few moments, click below and watch "Sinister Stuff"... if nothing else, I think you'll enjoy the bits with the three sidekicks.

Princesses of Mars, Part 41

It's time for another check-in with our favorite residents of the Red Planet.

The Martian Princesses seem rather busy today. 

  

 

Maybe the Russians have started a war on Mars, too? They have a long history with the color red, so maybe they think Mars and the people who live there ALSO belong to them?