Bones Coffe's Irish Cream

Ever since I've been writing commentaries and reviews, whether professionally or for fun, I have had one standard: I NEVER intentionally set out to review something that I do not expect to like. Few things in the A&E sphere are more obnoxious than the reviewer or critic who seeks out material in genres or from artists he knows he's going to hate, just so he can savage it. With that said, this review is a bit of a break from my personal standards as a commentator and reviewer... because I went into this expecting not to like the coffee I was tasking myself to drink and review.

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: IRISH CREAM

I am not a fan of Irish Cream coffee, be it the real thing or just a flavored creamer. Maybe it's because I'm not a big whiskey drinker. maybe it's because I've just never had Irish Cream done right, or maybe it's just not for me. Whatever the reason, I don't like it.

Still, as I am running out of Bones Coffee flavors to sample and write about--and with St. Patrick's Day is coming up--I am taking the opportunity to see if Bones can change my mind about Irish Cream via their Irish Cream-flavored coffee. They have surprised me many times since I began writing these articles, and maybe this would be another one of those times. (And even if it wasn't, it wouldn't be a terrible loss, as I ordered this as part of a sampler pack consisted of five flavors.)

Upon opening the package, I didn't notice any particular smell except that of coffee... and maybe a hint of chocolate. Why could I smell chocolate in an Irish Cream-flavored drink? I don't know, but as the coffee brewed, I didn't notice aromas rising from the coffeemaker other than the pleasant aroma of coffee.

Drinking this blend straight was about as I expected it to be. Bones seems to have captured the flavor of Irish Cream just fine with this one, so if you have a hankering for coffee with Bailey's liquor, but you're at work or driving the mini-van with the kids in the back, this is the drink for you. Also, the chocolate I thought I smelled when I first opened the package was nowhere in the flavor profile while I drank it hot and black. Also, the cream aspect of the drink was a little weak--far behind the coffee and whiskey flavors, but that should be easily fixed by not drinking it black, right?

Wrong. As is my habit when drinking these coffees for reviews, I first added Unsweetened Almond Milk to my cup, and I thought that might bring forth the creaminess, and perhaps even unveil the chocolate. It didn't. Instead, it caused the coffee to taste as if I had just poured spoiled milk into it. It was terrible. It was so terrible that I didn't even let the coffee cool to see what it might taste like at room temperature, but instead just dumped it immediately and rinsed out my cup. (I have found that these flavored coffees can taste differently depending on how hot or cold they are, but I wasn't going to subject myself to another mouthful of that terrible swill I had created.)

When I added sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer to a cup of Bones' Irish Cream, the result was far better. It didn't really improve all that much as far as bringing any additional flavors, and I didn't think it mixed all that well with those that were present when the coffee was black. It didn't taste like spoiled milk, but it still had a somewhat sour aftertaste. Maybe if I had some non-fat milk, or even a little whipping cream, to add it might have made it better, but I doubt it.

I then doubled back and tried it with the other kind of almond milk I test these coffees with--Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk. Surprisingly, this worked better with this Irish Cream blend than the sugar-free creamer had. It still didn't add much in the way of creaminess, but the addition of the vanilla made the chocolate undertones creep back out. (Unless... the chocolate flavor was there because I didn't adequately clean the coffeemaker after brewing some Signature Select Light Roast Double-Dutch Chocolate) Well, regardless, Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk was the addition to the Bones' Irish Cream that so far had worked the best!

As the cups with the creamer--and later the almond milk with vanilla--cooled, I found myself liking the flavor even better. This isn't surprising, since I imagine this may be a blend that's supposed to be consumed at room temperature or chilled and over ice; I mean, does anyone drink Irish Cream coffee hot, except for when you're adding those little cups of creamers to your gas station coffee? 

Unfortunately, I found myself unable to recommend this blend over ice. Whether I tried it black, with Unsweetened Almond Milk, or with the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer, when consumed chilled and over ice, the dominant flavor of the Irish Cream blend was one of salty dirt. I've had Bones blends turn salty over ice before, but this dirt flavor is something new. The Irish Cream taste is there, in the distant background and as something of an aftertaste. The dirt flavor a little less prominent with the creamer, so maybe there's just something about the way Bones created this blend that doesn't mix with almond milk? (I confess that I didn't bother trying the blend iced with regular Unsweetened Almond Milk, because it had brought about such a horrible result previously.)

Mike and Buff dance with joy over Irish Cream coffee! Sadly, Steve does not.

I don't know... maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. In the end, I can only say that Bones' Irish Cream blend is not for me, and the only way I feel like even recommend anyone drink it is either balck and hot, or at room temperature. The best part about this product is the packaging--which features another cute and excellent cartoon of the Bones mascot in action. 

I am sorry I didn't like this blend more... but at least I can take this as proof that my typical attitude of not even considering something for review if I suspect I might not like it, is the right attitude to take. 

If you have a take on Irish Cream (Bones Coffee or otherwise), please leave a comment below!

The arrival of Betty Boop as we know her!

Mask-A-Raid (1931)
Starring: Ann Little (Betty Boop and various voices) and Bill Murray (Bimbo and various voices)
Directors: Dave Fleischer and Al Eugster
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

Betty Boop is the Queen of the Ball at a masquerade, and she becomes the object of love (and lust) by Bimbo the Bandleader and the dirty old man who's the King of the Ball. Although Betty is clearly more attracted to Bimbo, she declares they must duel tor her heart. Insane antics ensue.

 "Mask-A-Raid" is a turning point for the most famous original characters to come out of the Max Fleischer-operated animation studios, Bimbo and Betty Boop.

First, this is the moment when Bimbo was permanently reduced from the headlining character to supporting character status. While he would continue to be a presence in the series for a few more years, he had been replaced as the star by Betty Boop, who had originally been introduced as a nameless supporting character with appearances like this. In some, he'd be a co-star (like he is here), but in others he'd barely be present.

Secondly, this is the point at which Betty Boop's transformation from an anthropomorphic poodle into the big-headed sexpot we all know and love. The change had been taking place over several cartoons, but this is the first time when her floppy poodle ears have been fully replaced by hoop earrings and the last vestiges of her dog snout are completely gone. 

As for the content of "Mask-A-Raid", this is one of the most risque Betty Boop cartoons I've seen so far, with Betty leaving no confusion about her desire to get hot and sweaty with Bimbo, with the dirty old man leaving no confusion about his desire to get hot and sweaty with Betty, and there's no doubt that Bimbo is not particularly interested in defending Betty's virtue but rather his own desire to get hot and sweaty with her. I think it's clear that these cartoons were directed at an adult audience--or at least older teens.

All that said, there is a sense of fun about everything in this very charming cartoon. In some of the Betty Boop installments, Bimbo comes across a demented stalker (like this one) or the proceedings are tinged with horror (as illustrated here), but here Bimbo is just a horndog and Betty is willing to engage him. The sense of fun (and perhaps even joy) intensifies as the cartoon progresses and gets stranger and stranger as it goes, and the duel for Betty Boop's--um... companionship--escalates into a major brawl for no apparent reason. I think if you watch "Mask-A-Raid" without at cracking at least one smile, you're dead. Not just dead inside, but clinically dead.

In addition to lots of zany visuals and escalating craziness, "Mask-A-Raid", like many of the Boop cartoons from this period, is an animated mini-musical... and the music and songs are just as nutty as the animation. There are Betty Boop cartoons that feature better music but I've yet to see one that manages to be as completely chaotic and perfectly graceful at the same time as this one.

But don't just take my word for it. Why don't you take a few minutes to have some fun right now? Click below, sit back, and get ready to laugh! (And if I have steered you wrong, let me and the world know in the comments section.)

Happy birthday to Ornella Muti

Italian actress Ornella Muti turns 67 years old today. She made her movie debut 1970, at the age of15, and she remains a familiar presence on both the big and small screens of her homeland. Along the way, she's also played supporting roles or starred in international or American films, such as "Flash Gordon" (1980) and "Once Upon a Crime" (1992).

We celebrate with pictures from from her younger years!

It's International Women's Day!

 And we encourage you to celebrate by clicking on the links below to see posts here that celebrate women and girls!

Ann Miller * Bebe Daniels * Bessie Love * Betty Boop * 

Diana Rigg * Dancers * Dorothy Granger 

Emma Peel (nee Knight) * Jenna of the Jungle 

June Collyer * Milla Jovovich * Myrna Loy * Princesses of Mars 

Spider-Woman * Thelma Todd * Wonder Woman  

Yvonne Craig * ZaSu Pitts

Musical Monday with Metallica

Whether you love them or hate them, I don't think you can disagree that "The Unforgiven" is a masterpiece. The video is damn good, too--moving and chilling, like the song it underscores.

The Unforgiven (1991)

Starring: Uncredited Actors & Metallica

Director: Matt Mahurin

Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

We're running low on good black-and-white music videos to share, so, starting now, there will be a Musical Monday every other week for the foreseeable future. Thanks for coming by for the past couple years... and we hope you'll keep coming (if a little less frequently).

Signature Select's Double Dutch Chocolate

It's Sunday... so it's time for a post about coffee I've been drinking!

SIGNATURE SELECT DOUBLE DUTCH CHOCOLATE

Lately, I've been checking out other reviews of coffees you can buy and brew at home that people have been posting. A common theme is that the coffee you get at grocery stores sucks, but the coffee you order from independent roasters rock.

How does this work when you can both order a kind of coffee straight from the roaster or buy it in the grocery store--like Death Wish Coffee, for example? Well, then it's bad to buy it at the grocery store because it's stale and it sucks. You should brew coffee within a week or two of it being ground, or within a month of it being roasted for maximum flavor.

Those who hold such opinions do have something of a point. There's no question that the Bones Coffee varieties that I've tried have a stronger taste when I drink them quickly after receiving them instead of opening the package and letting it sit for a while. 

I tried this with the White Russian blend, one of my favorites. and there was no question that the flavor got weaker when I let an open pack sit for a few weeks between brewing some cups. What I didn't detect was the alleged staleness that I've seen reported as being a mainstay of grocery store coffee. In fact, when I tried the Signature Select Double Dutch Chocolate blend from Safeway, the resulting brews from the 12-oz. bag I purchased were as tasty from the first cup to the last. Maybe it was the way I stored the coffees--the ground White Russian got resealed in its package while I poured the ground Double Dutch Chocolate into a different container and sealed it there. Or maybe it's the way the flavors were obtained. I have no idea... but what I never did encounter was the staleness others claim to, either in the coffee from Bones, nor the coffee from Safeway. Maybe I just am not thinking the way they think in regards to taste--although I DO think I know what stale coffee tastes like, because I can be a slob and let coffee sit in an open pot over night--but I can't bring myself to issue blanket statements about what you can pick up at the grocery store.

So what can I say about coffee that was picked up at the grocery store--specifically the Signature Select Double Dutch Chocolate blend, one of the many offerings from this store brand?

Kate Moss is standing in for the Little Dutch Boy today.
(He's not old enough to smoke, nor drink coffee.)

Well, I can say that I enjoyed it--a lot. Chocolate-flavored coffee is one of those things I tend to make myself by mixing ground coffee and unsweetened dark cocoa powder (usually around a one-to-one ratio). My efforts in this direction have been a bit hit-and-miss, and I've never achieved the level of flavor that is present when the chocolate is added during production. And I doubt I will ever achieve the level of chocolatey goodness that's present in Signature Select's Double Dutch Chocolate blend (possibly because I'm using real cocoa so I only have the first half of "natural and artificial flavors" that are present in the various flavored coffees. Including the Double Dutch Chocolate blend that's the topic of today's rambling post.

The Double Dutch Chocolate blend is a light roast made from Arabica beans, and as soon as you open the package, you get a preview of the strong chocolate taste that you'll be experiencing in your cup. Even empty, the bag smells strongly of chocolate. It is therefore not surprising that the smell of chocolate fills the air around the coffee maker as brews. Similarly, as the coffee is poured, you can smell the chocolate.

My preference in coffee leans toward the smooth and sweet, so it's not surprising that even straight light roasts would appeal to me. I also love chocolate, and I am very fond of Dutch-style chocolate. And in the Signature Select Double Dutch Chocolate blend, the two flavors mingle with great effect. I virtually never drink coffee straight, but this was smooth and tasty and chocolatey enough that I could have. I drank about half a mugful before moving onto the next step in my usual taste-testing protocol.

Whether I added Unsweetened Almond Milk or sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer to this blend, the chocolate and coffee flavor profiles came through, mixing with the add-ons rather than being overwhelmed by them. This drink was even better when I broke with my usual habit and tried it with Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk.; the vanilla flavor enhanced this coffee drink even more. The flavors remain stable as the coffee cools to room temperature (which is great if you're like me and it can take a while to drink your coffee due to distractions... or the need to use both hands to type.)

The Double Dutch Chocolate blend also works well when iced. The chocolate flavor remained strong, and there was none of the saltiness that sometimes creeps into flavored blends when you ice them (as I've noted several times in my review of the offerings from Bones Coffee Company). And if you're of an age and a mindset where an adult beverage seems appealing, I recommend trying this coffee iced, with rum or vodka added, along with some kind of milk or creamer. It's very good.

So... if you're at the grocery store, maybe you should swing by the coffee aisle. There ARE good things to be had there! (The Signature Select brand is at Albertsons, Safeway, and Vons stores... and probably other Albertson-owned outlets.)

It's a Fantastic Friday!

 And the First Family of Comicsdom is leaping into action for the weekend!

The Evangeline Lilly Quarterly

In 2021, we brought you pictures of British singer and actress Jane Birken every three months. This year, we bring you Canadian model and actress Evangeline Lilly, as we look ahead to 2023 and the next Ant-Man movie!

 Recently, Lilly caused quite a stir when she suggested that the iron-fisted ruler of Canada, Justin Trudeau, should talk to citizens upset about his tyrannical Covid-19 "safety measures" instead of having them thrown in prison while seizing their financial assets and property.

There was much gasping in horror, swooning on fainting couches, and shrieks about how she was setting a bad example and encouraging those who weren't trembling in fear at the might of Trudeau and his enforcers. We think it's a bit much to say she's setting a bad example. It's not like she's smoking in public without a shirt on.

Um... well... 

Notification about a new outbreak

 While Covid-19 is fading as a dire and global threat, we're dealing with a new, even more insidious threat here in Slaughter Valley, where the Shades of Gray offices are located. We recommend you postpone any planned visits until we tell you the danger has passed.

The video embedded below explains everything that scientists know about the current situation so far.

Is she infected? Signs point to 'yes'

The greatest terrible mini-musical you'll ever see!

Rent-a-Person (2004)
Starring: James Haven, Jennifer Haworth, Oscar Torres, and JoJo Henrickson
Director: Kurt Kuenne

Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

A lonely bathroom attendant (Haven) gains fame and fortune when he starts a business that pairs single drivers with a second person so they can use the carpool lane. But will he ever find love?

 

You've heard the phrase "so bad it's good"? It applies to film so ineptly made they become fun despite themselves... but it can also be applied to films like "Rent-a-Person" that take tropes and turn them upside down, take jokes to ridiculous extremes, or are such self-aware spoofs that they not only poke fun at their subject matter but end up making fun of themselves. And what we have here is not just good... it's GREAT!

Whether you love the movie musicals from the 1940s through the early 1960s, or hate them, I think you're going to get a big kick out of "Rent-a-Person". The same is true if you're just in the mood for an off-center comedy. 

Click below and sit back and enjoy the product of writer/director/songwriter Kurt Kuenne. If nothing else, you owe yourself the joy of experiencing the most inappropriate opening number of any musical you're ever likely to see anywhere.

Trivia: Jon Bokenkamp, the creator of "The Blacklist" and "Blacklist Redemption" television series, is featured in the opening scene of this film and credited as "Pooper". Kurt Kuenne has also directed a number of episodes of "The Blacklist." Click here to visit Kuenne's website.