Monday, October 2, 2017

Halloween is coming, and here's something to help get you in the mood!

For the past several years, over at the Terror Titans blog, I have posted a short horror film every day in October. While preparing this year's line-up, I came across "Revestriction," a short film that won awards at the Cannes Film Festival in 1990.

Seeing that it's in black-and-white and a fabulous pastiche of the low-budget horror films from the 1950s and 1960s--many of which you'll find reviewed here--I thought this was the best place to share it with all of you.

Revestriction (1990)
Starring: Bernadette Coqueret
Director:Barthelemy Bompard
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

I'll be posting more Halloween treats randomly throughout this month, but you can get a regular dose of horror by stopping by Terror Titans every day after 4:44pm (Pacific Time) from now until the Big Day on October 31!

Sunday, October 1, 2017

There are 30 Days to Halloween...

... and Nancy Carroll is slightly annoyed that the Spirit of Halloween is already bugging her for candy.

Are you getting ready for Halloween?


Tuesday, September 19, 2017

NUELOW Games has just released another royalty-free art pack

If you're a small publisher looking for royalty-free art to round out your book, or a lover of black-and-white line art with a pulp-fiction flavor, the latest art pack from NUELOW Games might be just what you're looking for.

Cover for NUELOW Stock Art Collection #18. Illo by Lee Elias
This set contains more nudity and graphic violence than previous collections (as the title might hit at), so it has been put behind the "adult content" wall in accordance with NUELOW Games's distributor's policy. I'm posting a few samples of the 42 included drawings here. You can preview the entire set at the listing page either at DriveThruRPG. The very liberal usage license included with purchase can also be read in full there. (Basically, the illustrations can be used in just about any fashion you can think of, except for inclusion in other clip art packages.)

By Rais

By Xavier Villamonte

By Rod Ruth

For more previews, or to get your copy of NUELOW Stock Art Collection #18: Sex and Violence, click here.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly

Milla is trying on her new summer outfit--one that's perfect for this Age of Global Warming.



Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Wonder Woman Wednesday!

In anticipation of the forthcoming Wonder Woman film, here are some portraits of everyone's favorite Amazon Princess!

By John Byrne
By Sergio Xantos
By Oliver Nome

By Alex Ogle
By H.G. Peter, the first artist to draw Wonder Woman





Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Picture Perfect Wednesday: Ariana Grande

Until earlier this week, I had never heard of Ariana Grande. Then some sub-human creature decided to go to one of her concerts and blow himself up with a bomb designed to kill and maim as many innocent bystanders as possible. This disgusting excuse for a human being managed to murder more than 20 young adults and children while injuring scores more. He will burn in Hell for what he did.

Ariana Grande is a pop singer who got her start as a child actreess on broadway and a pair of TV series that aired on the kids-oriented network Nickelodeon. She launched her singing career in 2011 and has released three solo albums since. She also continues to act, with guest appearances on "Scream Queen" and other shows. The show in Manchester that was attacked was the suicide bomber--who was affiliated with the religiously motivated psychopaths of ISIS--was part a tour in support of her latest album, "Dangerous Woman."






Here's a music video for one of Grande's singles.



Sunday, April 16, 2017

Easter is coming!

Adele Jergens is out and about with the Easter Bunny and his assistants hiding eggs everywhere. How many of them will you find?


Thursday, March 23, 2017

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly:
Milla Meets the Mandroids

In this installment of "The Milla Jovovich Quarterly" we've got something a little different in the form of greatly expanded textual goofiness to go with the interesting pictures of Shades of Gray's favorite actress/model: The usual couple of sentences have been expanded into a supplement for ROLF! from NUELOW Games, co-written by the game's creator, as inspired by the photos in this post.



MILLA MEETS THE MANDROIDS
A Battle Scenario for ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game
Design and Editing: L.L. Hundal & Steve Miller

The Abduction...
Milla remembered driving down the lonely California backroad, heading toward home in the deepest, darkest night. She remembered a bright light suddenly slicing through the darkness, blinding her... and then she woke up here. Where was here?  She didn't know. But it was a rocky landscape... under a brilliantly green sky. And it was cold. She put her arms around herself and shivered, and... and then the sharp white light blinded her again.




The Confrontation...
When Milla was again aware of herself and her surroundings, she was no longer cold. She was no longer in a rocky wilderness under a strange sky. Instead, she found herself standing in a room furnished with long couches and glass tables, with the carpets and furnishings all being off-white and various shades of gray. Then she noticed her clothes had changed, from the dress she had been wearing to a curious, skintight outfit made of a semi-transparent fabric laced with faintly glowing threads that connected to tiny sequins that were glowed slightly brighter.
    "The subject is once again self-aware."
    The toneless voice came from behind her, and Milla whirled about, stepping backwards and dropping into a half-crouch, fists raised. On a long couch sat two men, dressed entirely in black. Each wore a helmet and hid his face behind a shiny black visor. They remained seated as Milla spoke to them.
   "Who are you? How did I get here?"
   "We are Mandroids from the 57th Dimension," the pair replied in unison, their voices so perfectly toneless and identical they truly sounded like one. "We have been sent to your plane to study humans, to learn about their strengths and weaknesses, so that our Queen may conquer your world. You must battle us with human body and mind, so that every aspect of your being can be recorded and sent to the Queen for analysis. If you are victorious, you will be returned to your world."
   "What if I don't want to be your lab rat and refused to play your game?"
   "Then you will die. We will attack you whether you wish to fight us or not."
   Milla shuddered, thinking of her husband, her children. She had to defeat these creatures if she was to see them again. But what if she didn't defeat them?
   "What if I lose? What happens to me then?"
   "You will be sent to the 57th Dimension for further study and eventual conversion into a weapon for use in our invasion. You will be a testament to our Queen's glory. What you may initially view as a defeat, you will come to see as the first step in attaining the ultimate honor."
   Ultimate honor my ass, Milla thought. She wasn't going to lose. When this was over, these Mandroids would be broken at her feet--or they would be coming back to Earth with her, so they could be turned into weapons against their Queen.
   "You have chosen to fight," the Mandroids stated, rising to their feet. "As you humans say, 'Come at me, bro.'"
   "That doesn't apply here," Milla said with a frown. "But okay..."
   "Fight with all you have. Let us experience all that a human warrior has to offer."
   As the Mandroids advanced toward her, Milla's mind raced. What the best way to defeat these creatures--and possibly even bend them to her will?!
The Battle Scenario
Milla vs. the Mandroids is a ROLF! scenario for two gamers. One player controls Milla, the other controls the Mandroids. Stats for the characters are provided at the bottom of this post. Any combat maneuvers and traits not found in the basic ROLF! game are described in "ROLF!: Rise of the Trouser Snakes".
   (While the pictures in this post imply that Milla relies heavily on her Seduce battle maneuver, the player controlling her may use any means at her disposal to defeat the Mandroids.)




The Characters
MILLA JOVOVICH (Female)
Brawn 14, Body 14, Brains 7
   Traits: Improv Master, Nimble, Too Sexy for My Shirt
   Combat Maneuvers: Backflip, Basic Attack, Dodge, Seduce, Signature Move, Strike Pose, Yodel
   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Alien Clothing from the 57th Dimension (Armor, absorbs 3 points of damage).

MANDROIDS (Robots)
Brawn 11, Body 13, Brains 6
   Traits: Robot
   Combat Maneuvers: Basic Attack, Bitch Slap, Debate Philosophy, Dodge, Pimp Slap, Seduce
   Important Stuff Worn/Wielded: Nothing

Ending the Battle
The battle continues until Milla or both Mandroids are defeated. If Milla loses, she is sent to the 57th Dimension where she faces further battles to regain her freedom and to save Earth from the oncoming invasion. If Milla wins, she gains the Mandroids as her loyal servants (if she hasn't totally demolished them by beating on them). Whether she takes them back to Earth or takes the fight to Queen of the 57th Dimension... that's a story for another day.


(The photos are actually of Jovovich posing with the musical duo Daft Punk, for those of you who, unlike us, care about things like facts.)

Friday, March 17, 2017

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

To the Irish (and everyone who pretends to be Irish on this day, so they can drink like they're Irish), may you barely remember the fun you have on this St. Patrick's Day!