With Paula, it truly is a glandular problem

Captive Wild Woman (1943)
Starring: John Carradine, Milburn Stone, Lloyd Carrigan, Acquanetta, Evelyn Ankers, Fay Helm, and Ray Corrigan
Director: Edward Dmytryk
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A mad genius (Carradine) proves the correctness of his cutting-edge theories in glandular functions by transforming a gorilla into a shapely young woman he names Paula (Acquanetta). Tragedy and death ensue.

The more one watches horror and sci-fi films from the 1940s, the more obvious it is why Universal's attempt to recapture the horror profits that carried them through the depression in the 1930s failed. Too many of the films from this "revival period" are no different than the nonsensical films from small studios like Monogram and PRC; instead of living up to greatness of "The Mummy" and "The Invisible Man," Universal executives and directors instead lowered themselves to the level of those who had followed on their coattails.

When compared to the classics of the 1930s, or even "Ghost of Frankenstein" and "The Wolfman" from the 1940s--something the modern-day Universal marketeers are encouraging us to do by including this film is DVD multipack titled "Universal Horror: Classic Movie Archive"--this movie falls woefully short. It's more in the league of low-budget efforts like "The Devil Bat" or "The Monster Maker," just to pick two movies about mad scientists at random. That is a serious step down from the great horror shows of the 1930s.

While disappointing when considered in the light of the cinematic greatness that Universal had once brought to the world, "Captive Wild Woman" is well-acted and well-filmed, with a fast pace to carry us quickly through the story. While Carradine is no Bela Lugosi or Lionel Atwill, he does a decent enough job as the mad doctor at the heart of the story, and the exotic beauty of Acquanetta makes the movie more enjoyable as well. This is not a "classic" in any sense other than it's an old movie, but it's worth checking out if you like the fantastic pulp-fiction science of the early sci-fi and horror flicks.



Trivia: The Universal Studio marketing department nicknamed Acquanetta "The Venezuelan Volcano." Her real name was Mildred Davenport, she was born in Ozone, Wyoming, and was of Arapaho decent with no trace of Venezuela in her blood or family tree. 

Drummond's wedding derailed by murder

Bulldog Drummond's Peril (1938)
Starring: John Howard, Louise Campbell, E.E. Clive, Reginald Denny, John Barrymore, Porter Hall, Matthew Boulton, and Halliwell Hobbes
Director: James Hogan
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

&Hugh 'Bulldog' Drummond (Howard) once again courts danger (and misses his wedding date) when a security guard at his wedding reception is murdered, and he sets off in pursuit of the theif (Boulton) who stole a synthetic diamond that was among the wedding gifts. As a larger plot comes to light, and he and his manservant Tenny (Clive) run afoul the villains, his bride-to-be, Phyllis (Campbell), and his friend Algy (Denny) set out to find and rescue him. But will they make matters better or worse?


"Bulldog Drummond's Peril" is one of the best entries in the series. Fine acting, an engaging story, and attention paid to the events of previous films, it is certain to draw you in. (The fact that it pays attention to series continuity--the previous film ended with Hugh and Phyllis on their way to Switzerland to get married, and this one opens at the wedding reception a day or two before the wedding--makes it all the more enjoyable. If only more of the writers and producers of movie series in the '30s and '40s could have been bothered with such details....)

The film is part mystery, part adventure tale, and its convoluted plots twists back and forth as Drummond tries to catch a killer and unravel the many deceptions that are piled upon one another. And if the plot wasn't enough to keep the viewer interested, (There are two seperate groups of bad guys after the same goal but for different reasons, and they are alternatively cooperating and crossing each other, frustrating Drummond's efforts to get to the bottom of what is really going on.)

Although there isn't as much amusing banter in this film as in the three previous entries in the series--things are a little grimmer here, as one of Drummond's quarries is a respected business man and one of the peerage, (so Scotland Yard won't get involved without solid evidence of serious wrongdoing) and the laboratory of Algy's father-in-law is bombed--most of the returning castmembers give their best performaances of the series yet.

The villians of this installment are also superior both in writing and in the actors who portray them. In the previous two installments of the series, the bad guys were either a little too frivilous (in "Bulldog Drummond Comes Back") or too bland (in "Bulldog Drummond's Revenge"), but here they are perfectly slimey (the devious, arrogant British lord played by Matthew Boulton) or sinister (the sociopatic American scientist played by Porter Hall).

The film also provides an interesting expansion of the Drummond Universe in the revelation that Tenny is far, far more than just a clever gentleman's gentleman. He is himself something of an adventurer and a rogue with his own network of informants that he can tap into when he or Drummond needs it.

The only true weak point in the film, it John Barrymore's portrayal of Colonel Nielsen, Drummond's friend at Scotland Yard. In the previous three movies, Nielsen came across as consistenly irrirated with Drummond, but stll fairly professional, friendly, and even a little fatherly at times. Here, he comes across as an ignorant, bellowing jerk and almost slides into the "incompetent police inspector" stereotype that was so typical in films of this type. (He does get one of the films funniest lines, though right at the end where he effectively turns the tables of joking on Drummond.)

Picture Perfect Wednesday:Memo to Muslim Terrorists

Now that it's safe for you to venture back onto to web to surf for child porn and messages from your mullahs (what with "Everyone Draw Mohammed Day" well behind us), I thought I'd offer this as a friendly warning to you.

Adam Warren presents great superhero funnies

Empowered Vols. 1 & 2 (Dark Horse, 2007)
Story and Art: Adam Warren
Rating: Ten of Ten Stars

"Empowered" is a series of graphic novels featuring stories of varying length that revolve around the young, sexy superheroine Empowered. She gains her power from an alien "supersuit" that, while bullet-proof and capable of letting her shoot energy beams from her hands, it is also fragile in the extreme when it comes to sharp objects. Any possible chance, it tears, and each tear robs Empowered of some of her powers, until she is just a normal woman again. And a woman who is naked aside from scraps of skin-clinging clothing at that.

To make matters worse for Empowered, she is very insecure about her body, yet her skintight supersuit reveals everything about it, and she can't cover up for the suit to function--she can't even wear a cape to cover what she considers to be her big butt. Even more embarrassing, Empowered continues to get captured and tied up by even the lamest of villains, so her teammates in the Superhomies must sped nearly as much rescuing her as they do fighting crime.


The first two volumes in the "Empowered" series dishes out commentary and spoofs of conventions in the superhero genre, of the conventions and storytelling styles of Japanese comics, observations about society, advertising messages, the comic book business and comic book readers, personal insecurities and triumphs, love, life in general, and a whole lot more. It's downright amazing how much writer/artist Adam Warren manages to cram onto each page of these books. Even the "superheroes have to deal with real-life issues" material is well done, which was the biggest and most pleasurable surprise in the books for me, as I haven't really liked most of that type of material that's been generated in recent years. For a while, I've been of the opinion that the only writers who could do thse stories well were Steve Gerber, Cary Bates, and Archie Goodwin (three old timers who are either no longer with us or barely working in comics anymore), but Adam Warren proved that there are some current creators who can match their talent for binging the mundane to bear in their stories.

As might be expected in a superhero spoof about a stacked heroine who gets her clothes torn off and is tied up on a regular basis, there are a number of sexual related jokes and a high level of sexual content, particularly in Vol. 1. This means these books are meant for adults, and then only adults that aren't offended by drawings of and stories involving adults having sexual relations. (And I do mean these books are for adults. These books are a cut above the usual "mature" comics, as aptly illustrated by the fact that the Vol. 2 has far less sexually charged content than Vol. 1, yet it is just as funny and perhaps even more interesting because more time is spent on character development. (Vol. 1 was very episodic in nature, with very little carry-over from chapter to chapter. Vol. 2 developes a couple of running plotlines, some of which are continued in Vol. 3.)


The stories in these books also work because every character within them has something about them that's likable or that the readers can relate to, sympathize with, or chuckle at. While these often relate to secret insecurities possessed by the characters, the characters just as often become likable because they are revealed to be goodhearted, despite appearances. Even the neigh-omnipotent comsic entity that lives imprisoned and now-powerless in an alien device on Empowered's coffee table has a degree of twisted charm and outsider nature that makes him sympathetic to the reader.

The heart of the tales is the friendships shared by Empowered boyfriend Thugboy (a con-artist and killer who used to prey primarily on supervillains, but who is now retired, reformed, and attending open-bar parties hosted by the Superhomies whenever he can) and her best friend Ninjette (a ninja-for-hire with a drinking problem). Watching the ups and downs of their relationship with each other is what really makes these books worthwhile.

I've been enjoying Adam Warren's writing and artwork for years, but "Empowered" is his best work yet. Artwise and storywise, it's top-notch stuff, and I think it's a series that should be read by lovers of superhero comics and Japanese-style comics alike. Warren states through Empowered in one of the many hilarious fourth-wall chapter introductions that there's little crossover between "manga" fans and superhero fans. These books will, hopefully, become a common ground for both camps to stand on. They should be read by every adult comics fan with a sense of humor.

Carniverous plant life has never been funnier

Little Shop of Horrors (1960)
Starring: Jonathan Haze, Jackie Joseph, Mel Welles, Dick Miller, Tammy Windsor, Toby Michaels, and Jack Nicholson
Director: Roger Corman
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

When the nebbish flowershop employee Seymore (Haze) creates a brand-new kind of plant as an expression of his love for fellow employee Audrey (Joseph), their boss Mushnik (Welles) is delighted that business starts booming after curious passer-bys stop in to see the plant. However, it soon becomes apparent that Seymore has created a monster--a talking plant with telepathic powers and a taste for human flesh!


"The Little Shop of Horrors" is a bizarre, chaotic, strange, and thorougly entertaining comedy. The jokes, nonsensical situations, and oddball characters keep coming non-stop, and along the way, Corman and crew mananges to parody cop dramas, monster movies, romance films, and even swashbuckler movies. The film unfolds almost like a dream, so random are some of the characters and dialogue exchanges, yet it all comes together in a film that exudes a great surreal atmosphere.

This may look like the low-budget movie that it is, but it was made with a crew that understood the limitations they were working under. It's also blessed with a fun script, and a cast of entergitic actors with fine comedic timing--I particularly love the three leads (Haze, Welles, and Joseph), Miller (as the "flower eater"), and the two girls buying flowers for a parade float. This is one of Corman's very best, and I think it's a flm worth seeing for anyone who loves kooky comedies... because this is one of the kookiest!

Nancy Drew is on the case!

Nancy Drew - Detective (1938)
Starring: Bonita Granville, Frankie Thomas, and John Litel
Director: William Clemens
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

When a wealthy old lady vanishes immediately after pledging to give a $250,000 gift to pay for a new pool for the all-girl school attended by teenager Nancy Drew (Granville), only Nancy believes that foul play may be involved. Roping neighbor and friend Ted Nickerson (Thomas) into helping her, she sets out to solve a mystery that ultimately brings her face-to-face with a band of dangerous crooks.


"Nancy Drew - Detective" is a fast-paced mystery/comedy that full of Girl Power 1930s style, with Nancy disregarding much of the rules of the chauvanistic society she lives in while running circles around adults, chasing down crooks in her sportscar and having adventures of the sorts that makes it easy to see why the "Nancy Drew" books became an immediate hit upon their debut in 1930. (While Nancy is smart and headstrong, she's also popular with her friends at school and she's always perfectly dressed.)

I haven't read any of the books myself, but someone who has told me that the Nancy Drew in print is far more composed and levelheaded than the one in the movie. I'll take her word for it,but the antics in this film reminded me of the juvenile detective fiction I read as a kid, specifically a series called "The Two Detectives". In those books, a pair of friends constantly got into the sort of scrapes that Nancy is in here, and they even relied on diguises and other bluffs like Nancy does. (Without ruining the film, I think I can reveal that Nancy and Ted infiltrate a private sanitarium, with Nancy in a black dress and veil and Ted disguised as a femal nurse. It gets really funny when he gets hit on by a lonely gangsters!)

Bonita Granville plays a cute and funny Nancy Drew, and she makes a great pair with Frankie Thomas, who plays Nancy's long-suffering pal Ted, who, it seems based on this film, is actually a cut above the usual sidekicks in film from this era. You can actually see why he and Nancy are friends... they are both very smart and they are both interested in seening the right thing done. (Although, Ted does seem to have a little more common sense than Nancy, even if goes out the window when she cooks up some crazy idea.) The rest of the cast is decent, but Granville and Thomas are the stars of the film in every sense.

For a fast-paced, lighthearted mystery film that you can sit down and enoy with the young girls in the house, I recommend checking out "Nancy Drew - Detective." Yes, it might be 70 years since the film was released, but the pacing, the jokes, and the overall story still entertains today. (If they're fans of the books, you can even talk to them about how long the character has been around, and perhaps even encourage them to write their own Nancy Drew stories, with their own take on the character. That's what the people who made the movie did, so why can't they?)

Hollywood couple dreams up tales in 'Charade'

Charade (1953)
Starring: James Mason and Pamela Mason
Director: Roy Kellino
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

This "Charade" is a black-and-white anthology film starring James Mason and his wife Pamela,and it predates the more famous "Charade" (with Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn) by a decade. It draws its title from the set-up and linking device for the three stories--James dreams of being a film producer instead of just an actor, and together with his wife imagines what the movies he might produce would be like.


The three tales in the film share a common thread of love and how it might enrich or destroy a life. The first story is a little chiller about a failed artist who developes a fatal attraction for a man she knows to be a murderer, the second one is a melodrama about a man of honor who is tricked into a duel by a dishonorable man who once had designs on his fiance, while the closer is a light-hearted little story about a man blessed with infallable luck who goes looking for that one thing that's missing in his life and discovers it may or may not be love. (The first of the three stories even bears a small resemblence to the more famous "Charade", in that it takes place inside a shabby rooming house and focuses on a woman who is attracted to a potentially dangerous man.)

All three stories are well written, well staged, and expertly acted, with James and Pamela playing the leads in each one. The third, comedic story is a bit of a head-scratcher, but it's fun and entertaining nonetheless. The framing sequences add to the overall fun of the film, with the moment where what seemed to be James and Pamela's sitting room suddenly gives way to a partially struck sound-stage when James starts dreaming about the movies he's going to produce.

James Mason's talent as actor are clearly on display in this film, particularly between the first and second stories, where he goes from a character of quiet menace to one of stiff-necked, hidebound honor. and gives an excellent performance in each role.

"Charade" is definately a movie that isn't seen nearly enough. I recommend tracking down a copy and taking a look for yourself.

Picture Perfect Wednesday: Gum In My Hair

Milla Jovovich stars in "Gum In My Hair," the new action-thriller written and directed by Steve Miller. Coming soon to a drive-in movie theater near you!

Emerging from the city's shadows: John Law

Will Eisner's John Law: Dead Man Walking (IDW, 2004)
Story and Art: Gary Chaloner and Will Eisner
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars


"Dead Man Walking" is an 80-page anthology that serves as a reintroduction to a classic Will Eisner character who never really saw publication until 1983, but whose creation led to a couple of the most celebrated stories in Esiner's famous 'The Spirit' series. The volume contains three all-new tales by Chaloner; the fully restored original John Law tales from the 1940s, by Eisner; and a short, but informative, essay about the character's publication history.

The original John Law tales, which make up the last 25 pages of the book, that are spectacular displays of when Will Eisner was at his finest. The art is fluid, with the action and motion in the panels virtually leaping off the page, and the stories are solid noir crime tales with quirky characters and femme fetales that could only have sprung from Eisner's mind and pen. They're great reading, and anyone who's admired Eisner's graphic novels or his Spirit work should read these tales, too.


The bulk of the book consists of Chaloner's new John Law stories, which capture the flavor and tone of Eisner's Law stories, as well as the elements that made the Spirit stories so fantastic. Chaloner also captures Eisner's writing style with quite a bit of flair. He does these things, however, without aping Eisner, but instead retains a style of his own. In fact, Chaloner's tales are a little darker than Eisner's, and while they definately set in a film-noir world of the 1940s, they also have a modern vibe to them. ("Law, Luck, and the Dead-Eyed Mystic" is a perfect fusion of that film-noir flavor with modern story-telling--and Chaloner throws in some cool backstory elements for John Law, as well as a couple of superhero-type characters.)

The flaw with Chaloner's work is that he, like so many modern artists, doesn't quite have the talent for layouts and pacing of a comic book story that older artists had. No matter how packed with activity that Eisner's pages were, the eyes of the reader always moved easily across the panels and pages; Chaloner's work is less clear and his layouts less easy to follow. In the bigger picture, he doesn't end each page with a "mini-cliffhanger" the way Eisner and other classic comic book artists did... and I think that Chaloner's tales suffer because of these factors.

Despite my complaints relating to Chaloner's mastery of the basics of comic book art above, I think "Dead Man Walking" is a comic book that everyone who loves comics should read. Chaloner's weaknesses as an artist are all too common these days, and his strengths more than make up for them. And vintage Eisner is always worth the price of admission.

(This graphic novel was follewed by a single issue of what was supposed to be a "John Law" ongoing series. That was 2005. I've not seen a second issue. I can only assume this means John Law's second chance for an extended publishing life was only slightly more successful than his first.)

Maybe this is why your mom told you,'Never talk to strangers'?

Strangers on a Train (1951)
Starring: Farley Granger, Robert Walker, Ruth Roman, Laura Elliot (aka Casey Rogers) and Patricia Hitchcock
Director: Alfred Hitchcock
Rating: Ten of Ten Stars

A professional tennis player (Granger) has what he believes is an idle conversation with a very strange fan (Walker) while traveling by train. The fan proposes that he kill the athlete's slutty, unfaithful wife (Elliot), who is denying him a divorce, white the tennis player kills his domineering father. It's the perfect murder, as neither of them have a motive to kill their victim and no one knows they know each other. Although the athlete refuses to take part in the scheme, his wife turns up murdered, and the man from the train appears on his doorstep and demands that he follow through with his part of the arrangement.



"Strangers on a Train" is one of Hitchcock's finest movies. The performances from all the actors are top-notch, with Farley Granger playing his part so effectively that even when it's obvious that he repulsed at the idea of committing murder when it his proposed to him--escially the murder of someone he doesn't even know--there is still just intrigued enough that he might give into the temptation to be rid of his nasty wife.

Co-star Robert Walker is equally excellent as the psychopath who is intent on forcing Granger to be his partner in murder. From his first appearance, the audience can tell that there's something queer about Walker's character--and I'm using that word in any sense you choose to apply it--even if he he initially seems nice enough, if just a bit socially awkward. As the film unfolds, and we become fully aware of just how deranged and evil this man is, Walker becomes the main source of tension in the film... a threat greater to Granger and those he cares about than even the possibility of being arrested for a murder he didn't commit.

Aside from the great acting "Strangers on a Train" is also a showcase for perfection in film editing; if it's not being used in film studies classes, it should be. There is not a wasted second anywhere in its running-time, and the third act is nail-biter it thanks primarily to the editing. The sequence where Granger has to finish and WIN a tennis competition in record time so he can stop Walker from planting incriminating evidence framing Granger once and for all at the murder scene is absolutely spectacular. The same is true of the way we follow Walker on his trip back to the scene of the crime with the damning evidence in hand. Finally, there is the rightfully celebrated climactic and deadly confrontation between Granger and Walker on a out-of-control carousel, a symbolic fight pushed to the height of suspense by artful use of cinematic tricks.

If you have watched and liked any Hitchcock films, I believe you absolutely must see this movie. That goes double if you are an aspiring writer or filmmaker yourself. Few movies are a better one-stop showcase for how to do this right than "Strangers on a Train."