Happy birthday to Lea Thompson!

 The actress whose professional acting career began as a teen--appearing in such films as "Back to the Future" and "Red Dawn" in the 1980s; playing Caroline in "Caroline in the City" on television in the 1990s; and as retired intelligence analyst-turned-amateur-detective Cathy Davis in the 2000s in the "Jane Doe" films on the Hallmark Channel--turns 60 years old today.

Here she is, as she appeared in her early 20s, with a quintessential 1980s hairdo!

Musical Monday with the Spin Doctors

The Spin Doctors were a huge band in the 1990s, with a cheerful indie-flavored pop-rock style. After founding member and lead singer Chris Barron was stricken with a rare form of vocal chord paralyzation in 1999, the band broke up.

The Spin Doctors reformed in 2001 after Barron regained his voice, and they've been performing and touring together ever since--even as individual members have engaged in a few side projects here and there.

On this Musical Monday, we're offering "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors. It's music video is a nice amalgamation of all the things we enjoy here at Shades of Gray... and, if you're not familiar with the song, be warned: If you're anything like us, it will be stuck in your head for at least the rest of the day once you hear it.

Two Princes (1992)
Starring: Mark White, Mark Barron, three anonymous actors, and the rest of the Spin Doctors
Director: Richard Murray
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

(If anyone out there knows who the actors playing the Jester, the Diner Girl, and the Fat Hip-Hop Guy are, please let me know in the comments. I would love to give them credit... but I don't recognize any of them, and my feeble research attempts have come up blank.)

Look Kids--Comics! (Plus an RPG supplement)

In the mid-1990s, Evan Dorkin published an anthology series at Slave Labor Graphics titled "Dork". It featured a few different series of short comics features (like the sit-com spoof "The Murder Family"), newspaper strip spoofs (like "Myron the Living Voodoo Doll") and random humorous comics ranging in length from one panel to several pages, and from silly to viciously biting. Some were original to the pages of "Dork", and others were reprinted from elsewhere.

Here's a small sample of the comic strips for your amusement! (Selected from "Dork #1".)

(To support Evan Dorkin's current comic book efforts, become a subscriber to his Patreon page!)

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As an extra-special treat, here's material that lets you incorporate Myron the Living Voodoo Doll into your roleplaying game campaigns.

AN RPG SUPPLEMENT

Design: Steve Miller * Eye Rolls: L.L. Hundal

Based on "Myron the Living Voodoo Doll" by Evan Dorkin

(Myron the Living Voodoo Doll is used without permission... 

and in the hopes that Mr. Dorkin doesn't sic lawyers or Myron on us.)

INTRODUCING MYRON

Myron is the most unusual of voodoo dolls. He is alive, and he wanders about of his own volition. He does not initially seem different from other voodoo doll, but he has the following unique traits:

   * Myron is self-aware and he can speak. If a person thinks to talk to him, he will respond. He will explain his unique nature, but only if asked. (Myron is too busy contemplating the meaningless nature of existence to volunteer information to those he encounters.)

   * Myron can't help but become bonded either to the last person who handles him, or a person that individual chooses to place a curse upon. Whatever harm (or other extreme physical situation, such as being flung across a room) that subsequently befalls Myron also happens to the person who is subject to his inherent voodoo magic. Once bonded to Myron through his voodoo enchantment, (Myron doesn't necessarily want bad things to happen to people, but he is a voodoo doll so he can't help it.)

   * Myron is a tireless wanderer who is forever seeking new horizons. He never remains in one place for more than a few days. He is also one of the greatest escape artists to ever exist. Once he decides it's time for him to move on, there is nothing that prevent him from doing so. (Myron is completely immune to magic that tries to bind him or keep him trapped. Any such attempts cause him to teleport to a random location far, far away... while the person who attempted to magically trap him is subjected to Myron's inherent voodoo curse.)

   * If Myron is destroyed, he reforms 1d6 days later at a random location (see "Where in the World is Myron?, below). If someone had intentionally tried to destroy him that person is now subject to Myron's inherent voodoo curse--until it is shifted onto someone else. (Myron cannot be destroyed by any conventional--or even unconventional--means. The only ways to put an end to his existence and the inherent voodoo curse he carries is to either convince him that he doesn't exist via philosophical debate, or to bring him into the presence of God [the Clockmaker, the Creator, the Big Guy Himself], which will make Myron realize that existence is not meaningless.)

HOW DO THE HEROES ENCOUNTER MYRON? (Roll 1d6)

This table is used to both determine how the party first meets Myron, as well as how they might randomly encounter him again later. 

1-2. They find him among the property of a foe they've just defeated.

3. One of them receives a package from an unknown sender. Myron is inside.

4. His is found laying outside one of their homes.

5. A friend (or even an enemy) contacts them and begs them to track Myron, because he or she has fallen victim to Myron's curse and is suffering from random injuries and other mishaps.

6. He drops into one of their laps. Literally.

The GM should roll 1d20 once per game month after the party's first experience with Myron is resolved. On a roll of 1, they cross paths with him again.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS MYRON (Roll 2d20)

This table is used to determine where Myron can be found.

2. On a city street

3. In a daycare center

4. In a prison

5. In a city dump

6. At a train station

7. At a bus depot

8. By the sea shore

9. Along a busy highway

10. Along a country road
11. In the highlands
12. In a swamp
13. In a forest
14. In a jungle
15. In a desert

16. On a golf course

17. In a school

18. At a construction site

19. In the mountains

20. In a coal mine

21. In a cemetery

22. In a war zone

23. In a crack house

24. In a teenaged girl's bedroom

25. In a teenaged boy's bedroom

26. In a church

27. In a mosque

28. In a synagogue

29. In a serial killer's lair

30. In a politician's office

31. Floating on a lake

32. On a weather balloon

33. Floating on a river

34. In a high-rise office building

35. In a top secret government lab

36. On Paradise Island

37. On Gilligan's Island

38. At John Wick's house

39. At the home of a player character's loved ones

40. At a NASA or other space-exploration launch site.

HOW LONG DOES MYRON STAY? (Roll 1d6)

Myron stays in any given area for a limited amount of time, even if the party arranges for him to be trapped (as indicated in "Introducing Myron"). This table determines how long he can be found in the area determined by rolling on "Where in the World is Myron?"

1. 24 hours

2. 48 hours

3. 72 hours

4. 1d6 days

5. 1d6 weeks

6. 1d20+10 hours

   After the indicated period of time has passed, the GM rolls on on "Where in the World is Myron?" to determine where he can next be found.

DAMAGE SUFFERED FROM VOODOO CURSE (Roll 1d12)

Each day, it's relevant to determine if a character is injured due to being subject to Myron's inherent  voodoo curse, the GM must roll 1d12. On a "12" he or she rolls on the table below to determine what harm comes to the sufferer. If 1-2 hit points are taken, the character suffers minor discomfort or a sudden appearance of bruises or mild burns. Anything beyond that is painful and possibly lethal. Charactes may roll appropriate saving throws and benefit from any resistances to types of damage they may possess.

   Myron is destroyed if he takes more than 30 hit points of damage. He reappears at a random location 1d6 days later. While Myron is out of commission, there is no need to see if a cursed character suffers an injury.

Types and Amount of Damage

1. Cold Damage: 2d10

2. Crushing Damage: 2d10

3. Drowning Damage: 2d10

4. Electrical/Energy Damage: 2d10

5. Falling Damage:  2d10

6. Fire Damage: 2d10

7. Cold Damage: 4d10

8. Crushing Damage: 4d10

9. Drowning Damage: 4d10

10. Electrical/Energy Damage: 4d10

11. Falling Damage:  4d10

12. Fire Damage: 4d10

(If you enjoyed this post, there's lots more at the NUELOW Games blog. Go check it out!)

Fantastic Friday!

We're making this a Fantastic Friday by bringing you four great portraits of the Fantastic Four!

The Avengers: Man-Eater of Surrey Green

Man-Eater of Surrey Green (1965)
Starring: Patrick Macnee, Diana Rigg, Athene Seyler, Derek Farr, Gillian Lewis, and William Job
Director: Sidney Hayers
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Government agents Steed (Macnee) and Peel (Rigg) investigate strange happenings near a botanical research facility and discover that Earth is about to be overrun by flesh-eating plants from outer space.

From one point of view, I just broke my own rule for not providing spoilers in my teaser summaries, by revealing the bizarre nature of the foe that John Steed and Mrs. Peel must overcome in this episode. However, I think the plant-based alien invader, while absolutely the main plot point in the story, is one of the least interesting things about "Man-Eater of Surrey Green".

There are two major problems with the alien plant story, neither of which are fatal, but both of which prevent this from being a great installment of the series.

First, although it may have looked like a great idea on paper, the special effects crew of "The Avengers" either didn't have the time or the budget to make it look quite right; as a result, some scenes that should be intense instead come across as goofy and the overall presentation of the alien is inconsistent in quality. (And I say this as someone who's sat through hundreds of movies with truly awful effects and who oftentimes doesn't mind them. It's when they feel uneven, like they do here, that their inadequateness to convey the needed results is emphasized.)

Second, a plant from outer space just doesn't feel quite right for "The Avengers". While I recognize that our heroes have battled psychics, killer robots, mad scientists with weather control machines--and more!--space aliens feel wrong to me. It doesn't help that several decades of space exploration has passed between now and when this episode was made, and thus Mrs. Peel's comment that vegetation has been detected on the Moon destroys my ability to suspend my disbelief.

All that said, however, this episode still has some great moments that make it worth watching. The dread builds throughout the episode as characters begin to behave strangely and the sense of danger closing in around Steed and Peel is palatable, even as the alien plant effects get silly. The sense of dread is so strong, and the possibility that our heroes may save the world but not live to tell the tale seems so real, that when Steed takes very necessary, very coldhearted "for the greater good" action, it feels like we're about to say goodbye to one of the show's main characters. For viewers in 1965, this possibility must have seemed even more real; it wasn't until the second season of the series that Steed emerged as the fixed lead character and his partners and sidekicks had always come and gone. For all audiences knew when this show first aired, another major change was coming. Alien invasion silliness aside, this is a very intense and dramatic episode. In fact, aside from some very slight Peel & Steed banter, I don't recall any humorous touches at all--other than Steed declaring, "I'm a herbacidial maniac, which is quite possibly one of the best lines of the entire series.

"The Man-Eater of Surrey Green" is furthered lifted up by the presence of veteran actress Athene Seyler, whose career began in silent movies and whose screen-presence allowed her to turn what seems like it may have been conceived as a Miss Marple-esque comic relief character into a formidable presence that can stand side-by-side with Steed and Peel as they prepare for their final confrontation against the alien menance. Seyler's Doctor Sheldon is another one of those one-shot "The Avengers" characters that I wish could have come back in another episode or two.

In final analysis, this may not be one of the best episodes, but it's still worth the time you'll spend watching it.

Closing Out Mermay

The annual MerMay festival/challenge (where artists create a mermaid piece that incorporates a pre-determined theme assigned to each day in the month of May) is coming to a close. We're marking the occasion with a random selection of mermaid portraits for your enjoyment, including one by Mermay-originator Tom Bancroft. (We wouldn't have known this was a Thing if not for a random comment from Frank Cho.)

'Lovesickness' is more greatness from Junji Ito

Love Sickness (2021, Viz Media)
Script and Art: Junji Ito
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

"Lovesickness" is the latest hardcover collection of tales by Japanese horror comics master Junji Ito. I refrain from calling Ito's work "manga", because I think his style should appeal even comics readers who usually claim to dislike Japanse comics. (I still have issues with the lazy translations that have been the norm for the past couple decades, but that war was lost long ago, so now all I can do is knock a star or two off my final rating.)

The majority of the book is taken up by the multi-part saga from which the book draws its title. Structurally, it occupies a place between Ito's "Remina" series (where all the sections add up to a novel-length horror story) and Ito's "Tomie" (where most of the stories stand alone, but are linked thematically and by recurring characters). The parts of "Love Sickness" stand individually, but they add up to a chilling tale of a curse and restless spirits that almost destroy a small town. The story threads involving the main characters add up to a greater tale, but the way the individual smaller story arcs intertwine with each other to form a larger, unified story plays to Ito's strengths in spinning short horror yarns while also delivering a novel-length experience. 

Individually, each story in the "Lovesickness" cycle delivers haunting tragedy and blood-chilling gore, but they also build upon each other, bringing the reader an increasing sense that this is going to end badly for everyone involved. Even the final chapter, which serves as a denouement to the greater "Love Sickness" story cycle stands on its own, and it provides closure to the story that's equal parts spooky and uplifting and completely perfect.

"Lovesickness" is further noteworthy, because it will surprise longtime Ito readers with the directions it goes in as it unfolds. There are characters who you expect to survive who don't, and visa-versa. It's also nice to see a long-form story from Ito with a young guy as the main character instead of the young girl we're used to seeing. Finally, both the main ghost in the story--a tall, impossibly handsome young man--and the mystery surrounding his origin is among Ito's best-drawn and -written work so far. The mists swirling around the mystery man, as well as the spirits he assembles around him are goosebump-inducing. (I won't go into the details of the horror scenarios in each individual story, other than to say they all invoke elements of traditional Japanese ghost stories while incorporating elements of modern youth- and pop-culture, bringing new levels of darkness and horror to each.

Once "Lovesickness" wraps up, Ito introduces us to the Hikizuri Siblings. This group of unpleasant freaks are featured in two stories, both of which are dark comedies. I've said in previous reviews of Ito's work that it's generally very different than any other horror comics, but that is not the case here. The two tales starring the Hizikuris--one where the youngest sister (the beautiful one) runs away from home and finds a boyfriend, the other where the ghost of the family patriarch seems to appear during a seance--are surprising only because they are similar in nature to the tales one used to read in comics like "House of Mystery" and "Scream" and numerous titles from NUELOW Games. They are not among Ito's best works (even if, artwise, the second story has some very impressive moments), but it's nice to see him flex his talent for funny stuff. 

Rounding out this collection are three stand-alone short stories--one that is among the best Ito's ever done, one that is average for him, and one that makes me wonder if something was lost in translation or if he has some personal significance to him, because it's pretty weak.

"The Mansion of Phantom Pain" is an intriguing idea about a house that seems to be haunting its occupants and crushing them in body and spirit. It's got some great art, is very atmospheric, but the story itself is badly executed and left me with too many "why don't they do this?" and "why did they do that?" moments in regards to the characters. Ito's done worse, but he's also done much better; this might be an idea that he should return to later and perhaps develop over several stories ala "Uzumaki" or "Tomie".

With "The Rib Woman", however, we Ito at his best and most horrific; everything he does well is featured in this story. We start with a girl, who, feeling pressured by society's standards of beauty, undergoes surgery to have a couple of her ribs removed. This sets her, and her friends and loved ones, on a collision course with the supernatural... which Ito's pen and brush bring to life in spectacularly gory fashion. There are many reasons why this story will stay with you after you're done reading it. Further, similar to the way "Lovesickness" contained commentary on youth culture, "Ribs Woman" is something of a metaphor for the dangers of unnecessary, body-altering surgery just to conform to some arbitrary standard of beauty forced upon us by others.

The final story, "Memories of Real Poop", may or may not be autobiographical, but it is definitely an attempt at lighthearted humor drawn from from every day life. Unfortunately, it's not very successful... or maybe I just don't get this story of a kid who buys a hyper-realistic, plastic poop and then plays a prank with it. 

"Lovesickness" may end on a bit of a low note, but the vast majority of the book is well worth any horror fans time, especially if you're already familiar with Junji Ito's work. Even horror fans who have convinced themselves they hate "manga" will like this book. (That said, I will repeat the complaint I've been making for 20 years: This book is another lazy translation that's marred by the fact the "localization" is half-assed in the sense that you have to read the book "backwards", because Japanese is read from right to left instead of left to right as English is.)

Musical Monday with Three Days Grace

Here's a Fun Fact about the song "Somebody That I Used to Know": The version recorded by Gotya some ten or so years ago wasn't bad. But I've yet to come across a cover that was equally good or didin't improve upon in some way. And the today's Musical Monday entry--a "Somebody That I Used to Know" cover from Canadian hard rock band Three Days Grace--continues that pattern.

 

While I really enjoyed the music on this cover, I find the video creepy as hell, and not in a good way. I think they were going for a "Take On Me" vibe with the video, but it was done badly and on the cheap with video filters. The result made me uncomfortable. (This may just be a personal quirk... watch it and tell me what YOU think in the comments section.)

(While I dumped on Gotya above, I have to say that the video made to support his version of "Somebody That I Used to Know" is fantastic. (Although, even the Star Wars parody version of it is a better performance of the song, I think.)

Happy birthday to Joan Collins!

English actress and costume designer Joan Collins turns 88 years old today. Here are a few pictures of her, at various points in her 70-year long (so far!) career on television and the Big Screen. (She made her debut in the 1951 film "Lady Godiva Rides Again".)

The Avengers Dossier, Page Ten

Here's another look at a supporting player from the classic television series, "The Avengers".

DUDLEY FOSTER
In "The Hour That Never Was", Dudley Foster plays an officer in Steed's old R.A.F. unit who is tied to the mysterious happenings at an airfield that is being decommissioned.

Born in 1924, Foster served in the Royal Air Force during World War II, and turned to professional acting during the post-war years, first on stage and then becoming a fixture on British television from the mid-1950s through the mid-1970s. Historical dramas, mysteries, sci-fi, horror, fantasy, or comedy... Foster appeared in shows of just about any genre. He was mostly cast as policemen, military officers, and other authority figures...not all of whom could be trusted.

Foster's main roles were starring turns on the British television series "Bat Out of Hell" (1966), "A Hundred Years of Humphrey Hastings" (1967), "If It Moves, File It" (1970), and "It's Murder, But Is It Art?" (1972). He also starred as Detective Inspector Dunn during the first season of the long-running police drama "Z-Car" (in 1962). He later returned to play a completely different character in two episodes of series final season in 1971.

During the late 1950s and early 1960s, Foster also regularly appeared in roles big and small on anthology series, such as the "BBC Sunday-Night Play", "ITV Television Playhouse", and "The Edgar Wallace Mystery Theatre". In total, he appeared in over 100 different television series and films, often returning as different characters in different seasons. On "The Avengers", he returned in more two episodes, as two other characters--"Something Nasty in the Nursery' (1967) and "Wish You Were Here" (1968), the latter being a spoof of another British spy series, "The Prisoner".

Foster, despairing at the death of his father, committed suicide in 1973.