Picture Perfect Wednesday:Paul Gulacy and Blood on Black Satin

This installment features a little more text than usual. Please bear with me.

Of Half-Remembered Horrors....

When I was a kid in the early 1980s, I got my hands on a few issues of "Creepy" and/or "Eerie" magazines and fragmented memories of the art for those stories have stuck with me-perhaps even haunted me--ever since.

One tale involved a guy who was either a real estate broker or just some poor schmuck who's car had broken down, who goes to visit a house on a hill that turns out to be a giant monster. I remember how the runner carpet in the hallway turns out to be a tongue.

Another take involved some kids and a bully who ends up locked in a fridge at the end. I think the art must have been by Tom Sutton, because I remember it being both scary and very ornate.

And then there's the story of a private detective or reporter or something like that who was fighting a killer in a jack-o-lantern mask, as he and a girl were trying to escape the clutches of a Satanic cult. I remember wishing I could have read the whole story--as what I was reading was but one chapter in a multi-part series--and I remember knowing that it would probably have been very cool, because it was by the same artist who was doing the James Bond-esque Kung Fu stuff over in "Master of Kung Fu," Paul Gulacy.



Of Horror Rediscovered....

Some 25-30 years later, I have finally gotten to read not only that half-remembered chapter with the Gulacy art, but the entire story, thanks to Joe Bloke's excellent Grantbridge Street and Other Misadventures blog.

Titled "Blood on Black Satin," it was a three-part series by Gulacy and writer Doug Moench, and it was well worth the decades-long wait. It's ever bit as excellent as the other masterworks these two collaborated on, such as the two "Six From Sirius" mini-series and their run on "Master of Kung Fu". It is perhaps some of the very best material to every appear in "Eerie," even if was printed during the magazine's twilight years in the 1980s.

Joe Bloke has posted crystal clear scans of the stories, and if you're a fan of gothic horror, I recommend you go read them. It's truly great stuff. Click on the links to read each chapter, and click on the sample illos to see larger versions. (The same is true of the scanned pages at Grantbridge Street.

Blood on Black Satin, Part One (from Eerie #109)


Blood on Black Satin, Part Two (from Eerie #110)


Blood on Black Satin, Part Three (from Eerie #111)



Click here to visit Paul Gulacy's website.

'Halo and Sprocket' is a must-read

Halo and Sprocket: Welcome to Humanity (Amaze Ink/SLG Publishing, 2003)
Story and Art: Kerry Callen (with eight pages of pin-ups by other artists)
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

Halo and Sprocket: Natural Creatures (Amaze Ink/SLG Publishing, 2008)
Story and Art: Kerry Callen (with five pages of pin-ups and guest strips by other artists)
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

"Halo and Sprocket" is the story of Katie, a young single woman, and her two roommates, Halo the Angel and Sprocket the Robot. More accurately, it's a series of short stories, each revolving around some everyday activity or social convention so commonplace that most people don't even think twice about, but which may seem baffling or downright twisted to someone who has little or no understanding of human behavior or societal conventions.


And in each "Halo and Sprocket" tale, Katie is faced either with trying to explain some "fact of life" to a pair of genuinely interested pupils, or trying to deal with problems that arise from their attempts to implement what they have learned (or think they have learned). These stories are short and straight-forward, and they manage to be very insightful while poking fun at social standards and commonly held beliefs without being cruel, rather sweet in tone without being sappy, and even romantic without lapsing into sentimentality. Callen also shows himself to be master of just about every stripe of comedy, from the lowest of slapstick humor to more convoluted gags involving metaphysics, philosophy, and even the alphabet.

Callen presents his stories with a clean, classical cartoon style, with expert comic timing through sharply written dialogue and perfectly designed panels and pages. It's another one of the countless comics that deserved to a much bigger success that it was. It deserved to consist of twenty volumes, instead of just the two.

The stories in the books run varying lengths, with the longest ones being 14 pages and the shortest ones being as a page, and each being just the right length to deliver Callen's punch lines. The first volume also includes a a collection of sketches and early comic strips that show the creative evolution of Katie and her two unusual roommates.

For more about "Halo and Sprocket," visit Kerry Callen's webite. You can read some Halo and Sprocket strips there, although my personal favorites are "About Face" (in which Sprocket tries to find a way to express anger) and "But is it Art" (in which the gang visits a street fair and Halo and Sprocket learn about artwork) from Volume One, and "Food for Thought" (where the gang goes on a picnic and Halo uses his divine powers to temporarily make Sprocket human) and "Trivial Consequences" (where Katie sets out to first trick Halo into revealing secrets of the Universe and later to simply pull a practical joke on him) in Volume Two.


I think anyone who enjoys gentle, intelligent humor and well-drawn comics will find the "Halo and Sprocket" books worthy additions to their personal library.

It's all very Russian...

The Drums of Jeopardy (1931)
Starring: Warner Oland, June Collyer, Lloyd Hughes, Hale Hamilton, Wallace MacDonald, Clara Blandick, and Mischa Auer
Director: George B. Seitz
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When one of the men of the Petrov family makes his daugher pregnant, dumps her, and causes her to commit suicide, but then won't own up to his misdeed, Dr. Boris Karlov (Oland) sets out to gain revenge by seeing them all dead. He persues them halfway around the world, to America, where a secret service agent (Hamilton) and a feisty young American woman (Collyer) end up in the middle of this Russian struggle for survival and revenge.


"Drums of Jeopardy" is a nifty little thriller from the early days of talkies that's jam-packed with meldodrama, action, and humor. Its fast-paced script hardly gives the viewers a chance to realize that just about everything in this film has become almost painfully cliche in the nearly eighty years since its original release, nor does it pause long enough to really let us consider how outrageous and dimwitted the "brilliant" plan of the Federal Agents who match wits with Karlov is. We're too busy hating the slimy Russian nobleman Prince Gregor (Wallace MacDonald) who not only impregnated and dumped a poor girl, refuses to live up to what he's done and ultimately tries to sell out everyone else to save his own skin; admiring the beauty of the resourceful young Kitty Connover (June Collyer), snickering at the comic relief provided by her sharp-tongued aunt (Clara Blandick), and grinning with sinister glee as Dr. Karlov delivers zingers and pulls tricks on the good guys that allows him to take a place among the great villains of movie history 's zingers as his evil plans fall into place (an honor deserved in no small part due to an excellent performance by character actor Warner Oland who is best remembered or playing Charlie Chan and for his role in "Werewolf of London").

Another remarkable aspect of this film that sets it apart from many of its contemporaries is that it has a villain that the viewer can relate to. His daughter was violated and tossed aside by the Petrovs, so, given that this is a melodramatic thriller and we're talking about Russians here, it's only natural he'd take elaborate and final revenge against not only the Petrovs but Russian nobility in general. Karlov is a character who is almost like a tragic hero in his stature within this film and he is must more interesting than most film villains from the early days of film.

I should note that as much as I enjoyed this film, I was a little dissapointed in some apsects of how the story unfolded. I've already commented on the moronic nature of the government agents in the film, but a bigger dissapointment was that Karlov didn't really get his full revenge and we don't get to see that rat bastard Gregor die a slow and painful death. (That alone makes me wish for a remake of this movie. I'd love to see Tim Thomerson as Karlov!)

Speaking of Karlov... yes, the villain of this movie is named Boris Karlov. Given that this film is based on an American novel that was originally published in 1920, I think we can chalk this up to one of those weird coincidences. Karloff was an obscure stage actor touring Canadian backwaters at the time the book was written. (Although at least one source claims that Karloff chose his screen name because of the novel.)

Picture Perfect Wednesday:Some Sugar with the Snails

That's not a long-lost, unacknowledged member of the Beatles, but rather actress Milla Jovovich during one of her many photo shoots as a model.

Although I made his post partly to remind everyone that Jovovich's latest movie, "Resident Evil: Afterlife", opens Friday, September 10, I just realized that I've been featuring her on Picture Perfect Wednesday with near-perfect three month intervals. I think I've just started a new tradition.)

For more Jovovich, as well as reviews of all the Resident Evil movies up to this point, click here to visit the Terror Titans blog.

'Trapped by Television' is an outdated techno-thriller

Trapped By Television (1936)
Starring: Mary Astor, Nat Pendleton, and Lyle Talbot
Director: Del Lord
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

Want to see what contemporary techno-thrillers will look like to your grandchildren? Take a look at "Trapped By Television" and you'll get an insight into the future, as this action-comedy revolves around the latest, greatest, cutting-edge technology of 1936... TELEVISION!

In "Trapped by Television", a techno-geek bill collector (Pendleton) is sent to repo some equipment from a deadbeat (Talbot). The deadbeat turns out to be an inventor who has created the perfect television recording/broadcasting device, so instead of doing the repo job, the bill collector becomes the inventor's assistant, hooks him up with a couple of spunky (if crooked) promoters (led by Astor), and sets him on the path to selling his invention with a major broadcast company that has been attempting to develope their own television device.


Unfortunately, standing between the scientist and his roguish companions are a group of violent techno-thieves who have stolen some designs the broadcast company was developing and intend to sell them back to the company at a huge profit. Will our intrepid heroes gain fame and fortune and advance the technology of entertainment, or will television be their death trap?

"Trapped By Television" features a sharp script, likable characters, and some nice acting. It's fun watch, and it is a great illustration of how much things have changed in our world in 75 years.

It's a fun viewing experience on several different levels, and I recommend it very highly... assuming you can get yourself in a mindset that has television broadcasts as something new and exciting.

(A review of this movie also appears in the "Creaky Classics" chapter of 150 Movies You Should Die Before You See. It contains additional details and trivia about the film and actors appearing in it. It's one of the films included that I enjoy, but that I know many others will not.)

Perhaps the butler actually did it this time!

Sinister Hands (1932)
Starring: Jack Mulhall, Crauford Kent, Mischa Auer, Phyllis Barrington, Louis Nathaeux, Gertie Messinger, Fletcher Norton, Phillips Smalley, Lillian West, and James P. Burtis
Director: Armand Shaefer
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

A millionaire is murdered at a seance where EVERYONE (including the bulter) could have done it, and had reason to do it. It's up to homicide detective Herbert Devlin (Muhall) to sort through the suspicious characters and find the killer.


"Sinister Hands" is a decent little mystery that plays like an outline of an Agatha Christie novel. The first half sets up the future victim and all the people with reasons to kill him, and the second half is devoted mostly the detective interrogating the suspects as he tries to discover who did it, or trick the killer into revealing him- or herself.

There will be no great surprises in this film if you pay attention as it unfolds and if you've read/seen at least two or three other detective movies. (In fact, one of the things I found most interesting is completely trivial and not even related directly to the movie. It appeared that the characters were wearing unisex bathing suits at the pool party scene. I'd never noticed that men and women's swimwear was that close in style and appearance during the late 1920s and early 1930s. I also found it noteworthy that one of the suspects is a fake spiritualist named Yomurda. With a name like that, he can't possibly be the killer, can he? :D )

This is an entertaining little mystery film that is probably only of interest to big fans of the genre (like me) or those with a deep love of low-budget films from this era (which I also qualify as). It might also be a suitable second feature for a Bad Movie Night, because, while not exactly a bad movie, it is a film that time has passed by and which can give rise to much levity in the right company.

City Slickers Get Caught in a Hillbilly Feud

Comin' Round the Mountain (1951)
Starring: Bud Abbott, Lou Costello, Dorothy Shay, and Margaret Hamilton
Director: Charles Lamont
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

When small-time talent agent Al Stewart (Abbott) book up-and-coming nightclub singer Dorothy McCoy (Shay) and talentless magician Wilbur the Magnificent (Costello) on the same bill, the two performers realize that not only are they cousins, but that Wilbur holds the key to locating a long-lost family treasure. So, the trio leave the big city for hillbilly country and riches... only to become embroiled in a reawakened backwoods feude between the McCoys and the Winfields.


"Comin' Round the Mountain" is definately one of Abbott & Costello's lesser films. This is partly because it that is also intended as a vehicle for singer Dorothy Shay. She has entirely too many musical numbers in the film (one would have been plenty), and her talent as an actress leaves something to be desired. I also think the hillbilly humor also hasn't aged well... well, or maybe the jokes just aren't that funny. (Although, paradoxically, part of me feels that if the film had spent a little more time on hillybillies fueding and shooting at each other, and gotten rid of some of the romance stuff, the film might have been funnier.)

Leave this one be, unless you're a tremendous A&C fan who must see all their films before your life is complete.

Picture Perfect Wednesday: When Ninjas Vacation!

That's a publicity still for a 1958 film I came across on Vintage Ninja while trying to decide what movies I'd review in my upcoming Nine Days of the Ninja Blogathon.

No such scene actually appears in the movie, but the smiling faces reflect the very different way ninjas were portrayed in popular culture prior to the 1960s, something I wasn't aware of until I started lining up movies to review for the blogathon. Like zombie underwent a transformation during the 1960s from what they had been to what we now know is "right" today, so did the ninja.

More later. And if you think you'd like to take part in the Nine Days of Ninja Blogathon, drop me a line!

If they managed to save Hitler's head, whycouldn't they get a brain for the director?

Madmen of Mandoras (1963)
Starring: Walter Stocker, Audrey Caire, Carlos Rivas, John Holland, Dani Lynn, and Pedro Regas
Director: David Bradley
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

After his future father-in-law, and inventor of the ultimate defense against chemical warfare and nerve agents (Holland), is kidnapped, crack government agent Phil Day (Stocker) tracks him to the Central American island nation of Mandoras. Here, Day discovers a monstrous plot to murder millions of people, a plot orchestrated by Hitler's bodiless head that had been saved in a jar by loyal Nazi scientists.


Someone with a hand in creating the animated show "Futurama" must have seen this movie, because the Hitler-head-in-a-jar is identical in appearance and function to the many preserved heads on that show. And it's almost as ridiculous, even if suspense and perhaps even horror is what the filmmakers were going for.

"Madmen of Madoras" is such a mess of a movie, so badly conceived and executed that it emerges as one of those films that truly is "so bad it's good." The rating I've assigned it reflects the fact that it wasn't intended to be funny, but the fact of the matter is that this film is a perfect addition to any Nazi- or Mad Science-themed Bad Movie Party.

The premise is a wonderful one--with Nazis in control of a small nation, led by Hitler's evil mind made immortal--but the extreme low budget and the haphazard way the film unfolds makes it more funny than suspenseful. From the government agent who not only lets his girlfriend tag along on a dangerous mission but also goes shopping with her, to hilariously inept Nazi bad guys and their equally inept peasant opposition with bad Spanish accents, and a mighty final showdown fought with grenades against badly edited stock footage, this film is a fast-paced romp of non-stop excursion.

Highlights of awfulness include a car chase where it seems to switch randomly between day and night; a prison cell set that looks so flimsy that you have the feeling all our heroes need to do is kick the wall really hard and they'll be free; the swingin' sixties teenager who is such a Blonde Bimbo that she doesn't seem to realize she's a hostage; and, last but far from least, the Hitler-head-in-a-jar that is so clumsily executed that the actor's shoulders are visible more than once. We can even add to the fact that this poster from its original theatrical run has absolutely nothing to do with anything that happens in the movie.


And the characters and the actors portraying them! Oh, what a perfect combination of stereotypes being portrayed by bit-players whose levels of talent is perfectly fine for roles involving standing around, or maybe delivering a line or two at best, but which fall short of being able to carry a more substantial part. No one is exactly bad, but everyone does seem to be in over their heads. (Well, except Pedro Regas, El Presidente of Mandoras... he is so bad it will make your teeth hurt to watch him fumble his way through his part.)

Now, in fairness to the filmmakers, I do need to point out that there are some very creative and evocative cinematography on display here, something that stands in sharp contrast to the ineptitude of just about everything else about this movie. The talent of cinematographer Stanley Cortez goes a long way to making watching it the pleasurable experience that it is. I suspect it would be far less fun if the visuals weren't so expert. (It's no surprise that this is the same guy who shot "The Magnificent Ambersons for Orson Welles.)

I feel bad that I only recently had a chance to see this movie. Either it, or its misshapen sibling "They Saved Hitler's Brain" deserved a spot in my book 150 Movies You (Should Die Before) See.




(Note: Despite what some reviewers would have you think, the film known as "They Saved Hitler's Brain" has some significant differences to this film. It is far more than a simple retitling of this film. "They Saved Hitler's Brain" features additional, badly matched footage that extends the film's length to one suitable for airing on American broadcast television while adding a couple of other characters. The additional footage transforms what was once a lean, well-paced and hilariously bad movie, into one that feels flabby, draggy, and just bad. What the producers did when trying to reshape this film for television is a perfect example of how to ruin a movie with padding and unnecessary bits. Look for my eventual expanded comments on "They Saved Hitler's Brain" here at some point.)

'Sound of Horror' brings little, not even fury

Sound of Horror (1964)
Starring: Auturo Fernandez, James Philbrook, Soledad Miranda, Ingrid Pitt, Lola Gaos, and Jose Bodalo
Director: Jose Antonio Nieves Conde
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A group of treasure hunters blast some openings in a series of caves and unleash invisible, flesh-eating dinosaurs that have been dormant for thousands of years.


"Sound of Horror" shows some degree of cleverness on the part of the filmmakers and their answer to the question, "How do you make a monster movie with you don't have a budget to create decent-looking creatures?" (Their answer wasn't "Don't do it", their answer was "Make the monsters invsible!")

It's an answer I can appreciate. Too many filmmakers have embarrassed themselves over the years by making movies that had concepts beyond the available budget. At least the filmmakers here had a keen enough understanding of their craft to know their limitations... and for that I applaud them. No one embarrasses themselves in this production... except perhaps Ingrid Pitt and Soledad Miranda with their back-to-back dance routines of questionable quality.


During its second half, with shocking gore effects and some real suspense once the characters realize they need to find a way to fend off what they can't see or be reduced to monster-chow, this film features some pretty effective moments. Unfortunately, the sound you'll be hearing during the film's first half isn't one of horror, but one of the guy next to you snoring because boredom has put him to sleep.

The overly slow pace of the early part of the film is bound to put off most viewers before the action gets going. And I'm not even sure it gets good enough to warrant sitting through the shots of an empty cave set (which, I suppose, are there to show us the... um... invisible monsters) and the aforementioned dance routines of Miranda and Pitt.

The only people I can recommend this film to is to hardcore fans of the film's two leading ladies--it's of particular note for Pitt's carreer as it is her film debut--but everyone else should probably take a pass on it. It might be entertaining to view if you have friends who are able to carry on a MSTK-3000 style banter, but otherwise the first half of the film almost unbearably dull.





Note: "Sound of Horror" is among the movies covered in my forthcoming book, 150 Movies You Should (Die Before You) See. If you've enjoyed my reviews on the Cinema Steve blogs, please check it out.