If they managed to save Hitler's head, whycouldn't they get a brain for the director?

Madmen of Mandoras (1963)
Starring: Walter Stocker, Audrey Caire, Carlos Rivas, John Holland, Dani Lynn, and Pedro Regas
Director: David Bradley
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

After his future father-in-law, and inventor of the ultimate defense against chemical warfare and nerve agents (Holland), is kidnapped, crack government agent Phil Day (Stocker) tracks him to the Central American island nation of Mandoras. Here, Day discovers a monstrous plot to murder millions of people, a plot orchestrated by Hitler's bodiless head that had been saved in a jar by loyal Nazi scientists.


Someone with a hand in creating the animated show "Futurama" must have seen this movie, because the Hitler-head-in-a-jar is identical in appearance and function to the many preserved heads on that show. And it's almost as ridiculous, even if suspense and perhaps even horror is what the filmmakers were going for.

"Madmen of Madoras" is such a mess of a movie, so badly conceived and executed that it emerges as one of those films that truly is "so bad it's good." The rating I've assigned it reflects the fact that it wasn't intended to be funny, but the fact of the matter is that this film is a perfect addition to any Nazi- or Mad Science-themed Bad Movie Party.

The premise is a wonderful one--with Nazis in control of a small nation, led by Hitler's evil mind made immortal--but the extreme low budget and the haphazard way the film unfolds makes it more funny than suspenseful. From the government agent who not only lets his girlfriend tag along on a dangerous mission but also goes shopping with her, to hilariously inept Nazi bad guys and their equally inept peasant opposition with bad Spanish accents, and a mighty final showdown fought with grenades against badly edited stock footage, this film is a fast-paced romp of non-stop excursion.

Highlights of awfulness include a car chase where it seems to switch randomly between day and night; a prison cell set that looks so flimsy that you have the feeling all our heroes need to do is kick the wall really hard and they'll be free; the swingin' sixties teenager who is such a Blonde Bimbo that she doesn't seem to realize she's a hostage; and, last but far from least, the Hitler-head-in-a-jar that is so clumsily executed that the actor's shoulders are visible more than once. We can even add to the fact that this poster from its original theatrical run has absolutely nothing to do with anything that happens in the movie.


And the characters and the actors portraying them! Oh, what a perfect combination of stereotypes being portrayed by bit-players whose levels of talent is perfectly fine for roles involving standing around, or maybe delivering a line or two at best, but which fall short of being able to carry a more substantial part. No one is exactly bad, but everyone does seem to be in over their heads. (Well, except Pedro Regas, El Presidente of Mandoras... he is so bad it will make your teeth hurt to watch him fumble his way through his part.)

Now, in fairness to the filmmakers, I do need to point out that there are some very creative and evocative cinematography on display here, something that stands in sharp contrast to the ineptitude of just about everything else about this movie. The talent of cinematographer Stanley Cortez goes a long way to making watching it the pleasurable experience that it is. I suspect it would be far less fun if the visuals weren't so expert. (It's no surprise that this is the same guy who shot "The Magnificent Ambersons for Orson Welles.)

I feel bad that I only recently had a chance to see this movie. Either it, or its misshapen sibling "They Saved Hitler's Brain" deserved a spot in my book 150 Movies You (Should Die Before) See.




(Note: Despite what some reviewers would have you think, the film known as "They Saved Hitler's Brain" has some significant differences to this film. It is far more than a simple retitling of this film. "They Saved Hitler's Brain" features additional, badly matched footage that extends the film's length to one suitable for airing on American broadcast television while adding a couple of other characters. The additional footage transforms what was once a lean, well-paced and hilariously bad movie, into one that feels flabby, draggy, and just bad. What the producers did when trying to reshape this film for television is a perfect example of how to ruin a movie with padding and unnecessary bits. Look for my eventual expanded comments on "They Saved Hitler's Brain" here at some point.)

'Sound of Horror' brings little, not even fury

Sound of Horror (1964)
Starring: Auturo Fernandez, James Philbrook, Soledad Miranda, Ingrid Pitt, Lola Gaos, and Jose Bodalo
Director: Jose Antonio Nieves Conde
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A group of treasure hunters blast some openings in a series of caves and unleash invisible, flesh-eating dinosaurs that have been dormant for thousands of years.


"Sound of Horror" shows some degree of cleverness on the part of the filmmakers and their answer to the question, "How do you make a monster movie with you don't have a budget to create decent-looking creatures?" (Their answer wasn't "Don't do it", their answer was "Make the monsters invsible!")

It's an answer I can appreciate. Too many filmmakers have embarrassed themselves over the years by making movies that had concepts beyond the available budget. At least the filmmakers here had a keen enough understanding of their craft to know their limitations... and for that I applaud them. No one embarrasses themselves in this production... except perhaps Ingrid Pitt and Soledad Miranda with their back-to-back dance routines of questionable quality.


During its second half, with shocking gore effects and some real suspense once the characters realize they need to find a way to fend off what they can't see or be reduced to monster-chow, this film features some pretty effective moments. Unfortunately, the sound you'll be hearing during the film's first half isn't one of horror, but one of the guy next to you snoring because boredom has put him to sleep.

The overly slow pace of the early part of the film is bound to put off most viewers before the action gets going. And I'm not even sure it gets good enough to warrant sitting through the shots of an empty cave set (which, I suppose, are there to show us the... um... invisible monsters) and the aforementioned dance routines of Miranda and Pitt.

The only people I can recommend this film to is to hardcore fans of the film's two leading ladies--it's of particular note for Pitt's carreer as it is her film debut--but everyone else should probably take a pass on it. It might be entertaining to view if you have friends who are able to carry on a MSTK-3000 style banter, but otherwise the first half of the film almost unbearably dull.





Note: "Sound of Horror" is among the movies covered in my forthcoming book, 150 Movies You Should (Die Before You) See. If you've enjoyed my reviews on the Cinema Steve blogs, please check it out.

Coming Soon to a Bookstore Near You....

I have a book coming out in November of this year titled 150 Movies You Should (Die Before You) See. It covers a wide variety of movie failures in what I hope is an interesting and amusing manner. While many of the films covered are ones I've written about on the various Cinema Steve blogs, the approach is very different in the book, as is the content. For example, the book is chock-full of trivia about films and actors, something I generally stay away from on the blogs.

So, if you want to give a Christmas gift to the movie lover in your life--especially if he or she is into movies that are so bad their good (or just plain bad)--why don't you pre-order a copy of my book now and get some of your shopping done early? Christmas is less that four months away after all. :D

'Ski Troop Attack' may leave you cold

Ski Troop Attack (1960)
Starring: Michael Forest, Frank Wolff, Wally Campo, Richard Sinatra, and Shiela Noonan
Director: Roger Corman
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

An American ski-borne scout patrol trapped behind enemy lines during the winter of 1944 find themselves hunted by their German counterparts while trying to blow up a strategic bridge.


This is a pretty straight-forward war movie that offers a little bit of something for those who like to think of American soldiers as heroes, as well as those who like to think of them as bad guys. It also stands as one of Corman's better, dramatic non-horror efforts, with decent pacing and fairly decent dialogue. But there is nothing here that really stands out, except that the film's environment and the dangers faced by the soldiers is unusual.

"Ski Troop Attack" is at its best when the Americans are playing cat-and-mouse with the German patrol tracking them--there are moments of suspense that measure up against some of the truly great war movies to be found there. It's at its worst when the Americans force themselves upon a German woman in a farm house they come across while looking for a way back across the enemy line--they behave like stupid brutes... although this is probably the scene the dozens of people who liked Brian De Palma's "Redacted" a few years ago will like the most. (It's not so much the soldiers suddenly behave like idiots who confirm every bit of Nazi propaganda in the mind of the German woman that bothers me, but rather the fact that the scene drags to the point where you'll be WANTING someone to get shot... which is the obvious outcome from the moment the Americans enter the farm house.)

Overall, however, this is not a bad little war movie. It's just not all that great, either.

Picture Perfect Wednesday: Beautiful Horror from Estaban Maroto

If I made a list of my Top Twenty favorite artists, Estaban Maroto would be somewhere on it. Whether seeing his pen illustrating romance comics or horror comics, I've loved his style since I first encountered him. In case you haven't had the pleasure, here's an opportunity.

I've linked to several posts at Joe Bloke's excellent Grantbridge Street & Other Misadventures blog where you can read a couple Maroto-illustrated stories in their entirety. (I'm too lazy to do all that scanning, so we can thank Joe for his industriousness!)

Wolf Hunt (from Vampirella Magazine #14)
(The sexy werewolf on the title page on this bears a striking resemblence to the one onthis poster for "Werewolf Woman". I wonder who was swiping from whom.)

Gender Bender (from Vampirella Magazine #20)

'The Werewolf' is decent Halloween fare

The Werewolf (1956)
Starring: Don Megowan, Steven Ritch, Harry Lauter, Joyce Holden, Ken Christy, S. John Launer and George Lynn
Director: Fred F. Sears
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A pair of amoral scientists (Launer and Lynn) subject an accident victim with amnesia (Ritch) to radiation that causes him to turn into a werewolf when he is frightened, angered or in pain. When their test subject escape from the lab, and starts menacing a small mountain town, they set out to kill him before the local sheriff (Megowan) catches him.


"The Werewolf" is a surprisingly effective low-budget horror film that brings the werewolf legend into the 1950s era where radiation was the answer to everything, good and bad. The pseudo-scientific explanation for the werewolf in this film is pretty much the same origin that Stan Lee's Incredible Hulk would have some ten years later, but it's used with greater effect here.

Although it has many monster movie standards--the rugged sheriff who saves the day, the evil scientists, the hapless unwilling monster that is doomed to be hunted to death despite himself--they are deployed with greater effect than one might expect from a film of this caliber. The complete amorality and naked evil of the two scientists in the film is of a nature that I don't think has been seen in a film since the mid-1940s, and the sympathetic nature of the monster/victim is more complete than any other werewolf film I think I've ever seen. There's even a (for this kind of movie) very unusual scene whee he gets to say his final goodbyes to his wife and son.

Whether you're looking for a funky monster movie to show at a Halloween party, or whether you're a fan of werewolf movies or the Science Gone Bad themed films of the 1950s, this will staged and well-acted little film will fit your needs.

"The Werewolf" is available on DVD as part of the "Icons of Horror: Sam Katzman", together with three equally offbeat low-budget sci-fi/horror-hybrids from the late 1950s. All of the movies included in the set make great Halloween viewing you can enjoy with the entire family.)

'Number 17' is weak early Hitchcock

Number 17 (1932)
Starring: Leon Lion, John Stuart, Donald Calthrop, Ann Casson, and Anne Grey
Director: Alfred Hitchcock
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A vagrant (Lion) becomes involved with a diverse group of suspicious characters who are drawn to an empty house because of their ties to a jewel robbery.


"Number 17" is an early Hitchcock film, and as far as I know, it's the only time he ventured into the very popular "dark old house" thriller subgenre. It deploys all the standard elements for that genre--the aforementioned old house, plenty of shadows, vanishing corpses, and lots of mysterious characters with devious agendas. However, it's the weakest of his films I've seen so far. It's got those fabulous, graceful, frequent moves from comedy to suspense that mark his early pictures, but it also has a very chaotic story that takes too long to bring to light who the various characters are and what they're up to. (And the confusion isn't helped any by some characters not being who they first appear to be.)

This film is of interest to those who are students of the 1930s "dark old house" genre, and those who feel they want to see every movie Hitchcock made. Everyone else can probably pass on this one. It really has little value beyond being a historical artifact.

'Marlene' is a top-notch horror comic book

Marlene (Slave Labor Graphics, 2005)
Story and Art: Peter Snejbjerg
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

One sveltering Danish summer, police detective Michael Joergendsen is assigned to investigate the murder of a peeping tom. As the case progresses, he discovers the woman being peeped at--a radiantly beautiful model named Marlene--seems to be the center of many strange events and dissapearances. As his obsession with both the case and Marlene grows, the main mystery becomes: Is Marlene the target of a stalker, or is she herself something more sinister?

Slave Labor Graphics may be small publisher, but they put out some seriously high-quality comics--"Halo and Sprocket", "Skeleton Key", "Private Beach", "What's Up Sugar Kat?", and "Street Angel, just to name a very few. With the English-language release of "Marlene", they added yet another fabulous comic book to their catalog.

"Marlene" is a 48-page one-shot that if it wasn't saddle-stitched would deserve to be called a graphic novel. And, frankly, it's of high enough quality that it would warrant a more durable format with a spine and cardstock covers.

Snejbjerg's tale is a perfectly paced horror tale, from the first shadowy appearance of a monstrous killer, to the final stand-off between Michael and his quarry. Snejbjerg also manages to swiftly establish his main characters as fully realized, three-dimensional personalities, and, like any good example of this kind of story, keeps some of their natures in doubt until almost the end.

Snejbjerg also shows himself to be a master of the craft of a comc book artist, something that distressingly few artists that have emerged in the past 15-20 years have been. His layouts are clean and easy to follow, his linework is crisp, and he has a great command of shadow and light. What's more, he seems to have a clear sense of the finer points of pacing a comic book story. (Hint to aspiring comcs artists and writers: Pay attention to what happens between the last panel on one page and the first panel on the following page. Get that sort of rhythm going in your work, and you'll be on your way to producing a decent comic.)

I recommend "Marlene" highly to lovers of good comic books and horror stories.

Karloff slays 'em dead when meeting Abbott and Costello

Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer (aka "Bud Abbott & Lou Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff") (1949)
Starring: Bud Abbott, Lou Costello, Boris Karloff and Lénore Aubert
Director: Charles Barton
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When Freddy (Costello), a dim-witted but harmless bellhop, is suspected of murdering a high-powered attorney, the arrogant hotel detective at the Lost Cavern Hotel, Casey (Abbott) decides to help him clear his name by prove that one of the other guests--many of whom were about to be ruined by the tell-all memoirs the attorney was about to publish. As evidence against Freddy starts to plie up (along with more bodies), a mysterious masked figure targets him for death as well... and wacky hi-jinx ensue.


"Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer" is a fast-paced, hilarious comedy that mixes the Bud and Lou's fast patter with a who-dunnit spoof. There are plenty of sinister suspects (with Boris Karloff leading the pack as a murderous swami), but the mystery isn't truly over until the final punchline (which is, literally, a punch line in this film).

Although the mystery elements of the script are weakened by virtue of having too many red-herring suspects, so virtually none of them are given any real development or screentime (with Karloff and Aubert being the only exeptions), the comedy aspects of the film are grand. The sequence where it's proven that some people truly are too dumb to die, and Freddy whiling away the time while waiting for the killer to arrive in the caverns from which the hotel draws its name, are priceless.

Picture Perfect Wednesday: The First Action Movie Stars!

It was 1915, and the Keystone Cops left their mark on the world of cinema as the original action movie heroes.

Forget all the current hype surrounding "The Expendables", including my own effort The Expendables Week at Watching the Detectives. When the mothers of Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwartznegger, Bruce Willis, Steven Seagal, and Jason Statham were barely gleams in the eyes of their mothers, the Keystone Cops were beating up bad guys, getting into car chases, and generally being men of action, adventure, and bad-assery!


And there can be little doubt that the Keystone Cops invented the cinematic car-chase, as automobiles were coming into wide use as their films were being made.


You can watch one of their pulse-pounding adventures in these videos from YouTube. (Of course, I'm partly kidding. While it's true that the "Keystone Cops" films in all likelihood did invent the car chase, I don't think they can seriously be considered the first action heroes. It is interesting to note, though, that the storyline for "Love, Loot, and Crash" could be transferred into a modern action film with no changes.)