Great Moments in History

 In 1929, the Sisters G found their way into the Secret Vault of the Templars and rediscovered pants.

Ever get the feeling you're being watched...?

The Tail (2021)
Starring: Yuvaraj and Vishwa
Director: Prithvi
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

A young man (Yuvaraj) finds himself with a mysterious, uninvited and constant companion (Vishwa).

 

"The Tail" is a seven-minute, slow burn comedy that, near as I can tell, is the product of Bengalese filmmakers and actors. I came across it while exploring the dark recesses of YouTube, and I'm glad I did!

This film was shot entirely on an iPhone 8, but it looks better than many productions that are filmed on professional grade equipment. It's also funnier and better paced than many of those films. In fact, someone who generally faults me for my weird taste in movies, watched it and was as entertained as I was.

If you have the same reaction to "The Tail" as my friend and I did, you'll initially be intrigued by what's unfolding, then bemused and, ultimately, very amused. The film keeps going after it's clear what's going on, which, if it was made by a less-talented filmmaker working with less talented and charismatic actors, would have doomed it. Instead, it ends on a perfect and absolutely hilarious note.

Check out "The Tail" by clicking below. I think you'll agree that it's an excellent modern silent movie that makes a statement about the world we live in.

Happy 90th birthday, North Korean Military!

Today, it's 90 years since the military of the People's Paradise of North Korea was formed. That nation is such a wonderful place that they have to keep the borders sealed in order to keep the citizens in... and the only obese person in the entire nation is their Dear Leader, Kim Jong-un.

On this momentous day, we honor this greatest of nations and military force, as well as its wise and beneficent leaders with a few "memes".

Bones Coffee's Holy Cannoli

It's time for another opinion about coffee I've been drinking. I hope you all appreciate my oh-so-great sacrifices on your behalf--I try weird flavored blends so you don't have to. Oh, the sacrifice!


BONES COFFEE COMPANY: HOLY CANNOLI
First, let me confess that I have no idea what a cannoli tastes like. I gather it's some sort of Italian dessert cake, but no Italian restaurant that I can access conveniently has them on their menus. So, for all I know, the Bones Company completely missed the boat on this one. But, from where I sit, it doesn't matter for a number of reasons.

First, the packaging of this blend made me smile, with its reference to the iconic poster for "The Godfather" film. As I've indicated in some of my previous coffee reviews, I'm a sucker for the packaging that invokes movies, so trying this blend was a given.

Second, Holy Cannoli is one of those fragrant Bones blends. There was a sweet, somewhat undefinable smell that rose from the package when I opened it. That same smell wafted from the kitchen to my office as the pot brewed. It remained strong as I poured the first cup--so strong that I momentarily worried that I might be in for an experience like the one I had with the Strawberry Cheesecake blend--where the flavor was so overwhelming I found it nearly undrinkable and it left residual flavoring in my coffee maker. Thankfully, this was not the case.

Thirdly, despite the strong aroma, the flavor of Holy Cannoli is one that is perfectly balanced by whatever magic that takes place in that mad scientist lab secreted beneath the Bones Coffee roastery. Although I can't quite place the smell, it reminded me of marzipan more than anything else, with perhaps pistachios mixed in. This was my reaction when I drank it black as well; a flavor that I couldn't quite place blended so smoothly with that of the medium-roast Arabica coffee that this was another of those Bones offerings that I could almost drink without adding any creamer or almond milk. ("Almost" because, as I've mentioned previously, it could be argued that I don't actually like coffee--which is why I go for the flavored blends and constantly pour milk and such into even those!)

Is the flavor of Holy Cannoli that of the dessert it's named after? Probably, since it's unfamiliar--but absolutely delightful--to me. And it only got better when I mixed cups of it with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer (which was the obvious one to lead with this time out), then with Unsweetened Vanilla Almost Milk, and then straight Unsweetened Almond Milk. In all three instances, the flavor profile remained steady, with the additions of creamer or milk enhancing the flavor while taking the edge off the coffee... by teasing out a creaminess to the blend that wasn't there when I drank it black. Unsurprisingly, the blend leaned most heavily toward the sweet and creamy when I drank it with the creamer, but the addition of vanilla almond milk was also great tasting. The perfect balance, though, seemed to come when I tried a cup with both the creamer and the normal unsweetened almond milk added; out of the variations I tried, this was my favorite one to drink hot, and at room temperature.

When I drank Holy Cannoli over ice, the flavor profile remained steady if growing a bit muted. The almond milk really made the marizipan-like flavor pop when the drink was iced, and the vanilla almond milk likewise mixed nicely with the existing flavors. The sugar-free Italiam Sweet Cream creamer overwhelmed the drink's flavor profile, but it's possible I added a little too much to the last sample cup. One other thing that made this a great cold drink: That saltiness that is present in several of the Bones blends they're consumed over ice was nowhere to be found here.

All-in-all, Holy Cannoli is another great flavored offering from Bones Coffee Company. I have no idea if it tastes like you melted a cannoli into a mug of coffee, but I liked it so much that I don't really care. Whether the taste was spot-on or completely off the mark, this was a great-tasting beverage, whether I had it hot, room temperature, or iced. I recommend it to those out there looking for a coffee that's sweet and a little different.

And speaking of different: Here's an amusing ad that Bones Coffee Company produced to promote the Holy Connoli blend. 

  

International Wanna-Be Dancer Day

Next week, on April 29, it's International Dance Day. Today, we celebrate those who can put on leotards or tutus and toe shoes and pretend they're dancers!

At the intersection of silent movies and torture porn...

Dental Care (2022)
Starring: Jamison England and Simon England
Director: Jamison England
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Terry (Jamison England) is captured by an insane dentist (Simon England) who is bent on giving him the perfect smile.

Does anyone remember "Saw" and the unpleasant flood of "torture porn" movies that followed in its wake (in addition to the sequels the film itself spawned)? I do, and I disliked almost every one of the genre I had the misfortune of seeing; many I couldn't even motivate myself to write reviews of. I even found myself panning films featuring performers I liked, such as the talented Suzi Lorraine.

So, when "Dental Care" veered quickly into torture porn territory--with its innocent victim being set upon in a gruesome and merciless fashion by an evil madman for no apparent reason other than to be gruesome and merciless-- it was quite a surprise to me that I found myself liking it (even as I squirmed at certain moments). While it's possible that my tastes have degraded since the early 2000s, I like to think that the actual reason for me liking this film is that it despite the torture porn vibe, it gets a number of things right that lesser films get wrong--at least when it comes to being effective horror films.

Areas in which "Dental Care" succeeds are both in direction and cinematography. There's a sense of griminess about everything in the film that suits the subject matter perfectly; Jamie England knows that sometimes "less is more" when it comes to what gets shown on screen in a horror film; and the films final few moments are executed so fabulously that a number of famous filmmakers could benefit from taking a look at.

Click below to watch "Dental Care"... and please let me know if you agree or disagree with my take!

There's a weirdo hanging around the playground

What is she up to? And why does she bear an uncanny resemblance to Jessica Alba?

A tale of a clown and his brother

The Clown's Little Brother (1920)
Starring: Max Fleischer
Directors: Max Fleischer and Dave Fleischer
Rating: Six of Ten Stars


A new cartoon character arrives via the mail and springs to life. He quickly outshines the clown created by the Animator (Fleischer), as he can do everything he can--only better!

"The Clown's Little Brother" is one of earliest in a series of shorts that merge animation with live-action footage that would eventually become branded as "Out of the Ink Well". It is the sixth or seventh adventure of a cartoon clown who freely comes and goes between our world and the animated universe he exists it, sometimes to the great frustration of his creator. In fact, this installment is so early in the series  that the clown isn't even formally named yet.

Although it comes at the beginning of the series, all the basics of an "Out of the Inkwell" series can be found here, with cartoon characters leaping off the page and causing--intentionally or not--chaos in the Real World. What's more, we get the sense that the world of Animator is a bit stranger than ours, since he doesn't find it strange that he not only gets a package in the mail with a cartoon character, but someone also sent him a kitten. 

Although this was Early Days for the reality-crashing animated clown, the scenes of him interacting with the Real World in this film are excellent. The Clown's battle against a kitten is impressively executed as many of the action scenes that will follow until the series is retired in 1930. (This is also not the only time Ko-Ko is seen interacting with kittens, and if the short linked here is any indication, he makes his peace with them somewhere along the way.)

The only major complaint I have about "The Clown's Little Brother" is that the purely animated sequences drag on just a little bit too long. We, the viewers, get the point that the Little Brother is more capable in the realm of animated craziness than is the Clown/Ko-Ko, but it gets hammered home to the point where I found myself wishing Fleischer would move on. Maybe a 50+-year-old adult shouldn't be watching these films; maybe the one-upmanship scenes are JUST the right length for younger viewers (or maybe even adult viewers back 100 years ago when this film was made.)

All-in-all, though, I feel the five minutes I spent watching "The Clown's Little Brother" were well spent. I encourage you do click below and check it out, too.

Musical Monday with Garbage

We invite you to start this week with something a little dark and a little twisted that's performed by Garbage, but is anything but garbage! In fact, this is an excellent song supported by a fantastic video.

Queer (1995)

Starring: Shirley Manson, Duke Erikson, Butch Vig, and Steve Marker
Director: Stephane Sednaoui

Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

In case there was any doubt...

 ... we here at Shades of Gray do know that Easter is about more than babes and bunny costumes.