Happy 90th birthday, North Korean Military!

Today, it's 90 years since the military of the People's Paradise of North Korea was formed. That nation is such a wonderful place that they have to keep the borders sealed in order to keep the citizens in... and the only obese person in the entire nation is their Dear Leader, Kim Jong-un.

On this momentous day, we honor this greatest of nations and military force, as well as its wise and beneficent leaders with a few "memes".

Bones Coffee's Holy Cannoli

It's time for another opinion about coffee I've been drinking. I hope you all appreciate my oh-so-great sacrifices on your behalf--I try weird flavored blends so you don't have to. Oh, the sacrifice!


BONES COFFEE COMPANY: HOLY CANNOLI
First, let me confess that I have no idea what a cannoli tastes like. I gather it's some sort of Italian dessert cake, but no Italian restaurant that I can access conveniently has them on their menus. So, for all I know, the Bones Company completely missed the boat on this one. But, from where I sit, it doesn't matter for a number of reasons.

First, the packaging of this blend made me smile, with its reference to the iconic poster for "The Godfather" film. As I've indicated in some of my previous coffee reviews, I'm a sucker for the packaging that invokes movies, so trying this blend was a given.

Second, Holy Cannoli is one of those fragrant Bones blends. There was a sweet, somewhat undefinable smell that rose from the package when I opened it. That same smell wafted from the kitchen to my office as the pot brewed. It remained strong as I poured the first cup--so strong that I momentarily worried that I might be in for an experience like the one I had with the Strawberry Cheesecake blend--where the flavor was so overwhelming I found it nearly undrinkable and it left residual flavoring in my coffee maker. Thankfully, this was not the case.

Thirdly, despite the strong aroma, the flavor of Holy Cannoli is one that is perfectly balanced by whatever magic that takes place in that mad scientist lab secreted beneath the Bones Coffee roastery. Although I can't quite place the smell, it reminded me of marzipan more than anything else, with perhaps pistachios mixed in. This was my reaction when I drank it black as well; a flavor that I couldn't quite place blended so smoothly with that of the medium-roast Arabica coffee that this was another of those Bones offerings that I could almost drink without adding any creamer or almond milk. ("Almost" because, as I've mentioned previously, it could be argued that I don't actually like coffee--which is why I go for the flavored blends and constantly pour milk and such into even those!)

Is the flavor of Holy Cannoli that of the dessert it's named after? Probably, since it's unfamiliar--but absolutely delightful--to me. And it only got better when I mixed cups of it with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer (which was the obvious one to lead with this time out), then with Unsweetened Vanilla Almost Milk, and then straight Unsweetened Almond Milk. In all three instances, the flavor profile remained steady, with the additions of creamer or milk enhancing the flavor while taking the edge off the coffee... by teasing out a creaminess to the blend that wasn't there when I drank it black. Unsurprisingly, the blend leaned most heavily toward the sweet and creamy when I drank it with the creamer, but the addition of vanilla almond milk was also great tasting. The perfect balance, though, seemed to come when I tried a cup with both the creamer and the normal unsweetened almond milk added; out of the variations I tried, this was my favorite one to drink hot, and at room temperature.

When I drank Holy Cannoli over ice, the flavor profile remained steady if growing a bit muted. The almond milk really made the marizipan-like flavor pop when the drink was iced, and the vanilla almond milk likewise mixed nicely with the existing flavors. The sugar-free Italiam Sweet Cream creamer overwhelmed the drink's flavor profile, but it's possible I added a little too much to the last sample cup. One other thing that made this a great cold drink: That saltiness that is present in several of the Bones blends they're consumed over ice was nowhere to be found here.

All-in-all, Holy Cannoli is another great flavored offering from Bones Coffee Company. I have no idea if it tastes like you melted a cannoli into a mug of coffee, but I liked it so much that I don't really care. Whether the taste was spot-on or completely off the mark, this was a great-tasting beverage, whether I had it hot, room temperature, or iced. I recommend it to those out there looking for a coffee that's sweet and a little different.

And speaking of different: Here's an amusing ad that Bones Coffee Company produced to promote the Holy Connoli blend. 

  

International Wanna-Be Dancer Day

Next week, on April 29, it's International Dance Day. Today, we celebrate those who can put on leotards or tutus and toe shoes and pretend they're dancers!

At the intersection of silent movies and torture porn...

Dental Care (2022)
Starring: Jamison England and Simon England
Director: Jamison England
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Terry (Jamison England) is captured by an insane dentist (Simon England) who is bent on giving him the perfect smile.

Does anyone remember "Saw" and the unpleasant flood of "torture porn" movies that followed in its wake (in addition to the sequels the film itself spawned)? I do, and I disliked almost every one of the genre I had the misfortune of seeing; many I couldn't even motivate myself to write reviews of. I even found myself panning films featuring performers I liked, such as the talented Suzi Lorraine.

So, when "Dental Care" veered quickly into torture porn territory--with its innocent victim being set upon in a gruesome and merciless fashion by an evil madman for no apparent reason other than to be gruesome and merciless-- it was quite a surprise to me that I found myself liking it (even as I squirmed at certain moments). While it's possible that my tastes have degraded since the early 2000s, I like to think that the actual reason for me liking this film is that it despite the torture porn vibe, it gets a number of things right that lesser films get wrong--at least when it comes to being effective horror films.

Areas in which "Dental Care" succeeds are both in direction and cinematography. There's a sense of griminess about everything in the film that suits the subject matter perfectly; Jamie England knows that sometimes "less is more" when it comes to what gets shown on screen in a horror film; and the films final few moments are executed so fabulously that a number of famous filmmakers could benefit from taking a look at.

Click below to watch "Dental Care"... and please let me know if you agree or disagree with my take!

There's a weirdo hanging around the playground

What is she up to? And why does she bear an uncanny resemblance to Jessica Alba?

A tale of a clown and his brother

The Clown's Little Brother (1920)
Starring: Max Fleischer
Directors: Max Fleischer and Dave Fleischer
Rating: Six of Ten Stars


A new cartoon character arrives via the mail and springs to life. He quickly outshines the clown created by the Animator (Fleischer), as he can do everything he can--only better!

"The Clown's Little Brother" is one of earliest in a series of shorts that merge animation with live-action footage that would eventually become branded as "Out of the Ink Well". It is the sixth or seventh adventure of a cartoon clown who freely comes and goes between our world and the animated universe he exists it, sometimes to the great frustration of his creator. In fact, this installment is so early in the series  that the clown isn't even formally named yet.

Although it comes at the beginning of the series, all the basics of an "Out of the Inkwell" series can be found here, with cartoon characters leaping off the page and causing--intentionally or not--chaos in the Real World. What's more, we get the sense that the world of Animator is a bit stranger than ours, since he doesn't find it strange that he not only gets a package in the mail with a cartoon character, but someone also sent him a kitten. 

Although this was Early Days for the reality-crashing animated clown, the scenes of him interacting with the Real World in this film are excellent. The Clown's battle against a kitten is impressively executed as many of the action scenes that will follow until the series is retired in 1930. (This is also not the only time Ko-Ko is seen interacting with kittens, and if the short linked here is any indication, he makes his peace with them somewhere along the way.)

The only major complaint I have about "The Clown's Little Brother" is that the purely animated sequences drag on just a little bit too long. We, the viewers, get the point that the Little Brother is more capable in the realm of animated craziness than is the Clown/Ko-Ko, but it gets hammered home to the point where I found myself wishing Fleischer would move on. Maybe a 50+-year-old adult shouldn't be watching these films; maybe the one-upmanship scenes are JUST the right length for younger viewers (or maybe even adult viewers back 100 years ago when this film was made.)

All-in-all, though, I feel the five minutes I spent watching "The Clown's Little Brother" were well spent. I encourage you do click below and check it out, too.

Musical Monday with Garbage

We invite you to start this week with something a little dark and a little twisted that's performed by Garbage, but is anything but garbage! In fact, this is an excellent song supported by a fantastic video.

Queer (1995)

Starring: Shirley Manson, Duke Erikson, Butch Vig, and Steve Marker
Director: Stephane Sednaoui

Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

In case there was any doubt...

 ... we here at Shades of Gray do know that Easter is about more than babes and bunny costumes.

Bones Coffee's Carrot Cake

What does the Easter Bunny drink during his breaks? I have the answer... and I also tell you whether it's something I think YOU should drink!

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: CARROT CAKE
Carrot Cake is another cake-inspired blend based on medium-roasted Arabica beans, from a company that specializes in flavored coffees. This is one of those blends that they seem to rotate with their seasonal offerings, so it's not always available. (I don't know if they intentionally made it available around Easter time, or if it was just coincidence, but it worked out perfectly for my purposes.)

Based on customer comments, this is a much-loved variety, and long-time Bones Coffee customers are happy to have it back. But is it really deserving of their love? Not all Bones blends are good--some are downright undrinkable--so what about this one?

Like most of my Bones reviews, this one is based on a 4-oz. sample pack (which I've been ordering 5-10 at a time, and working my way through at the rate of one every three-four days). 

When I first opened the package, I detected a faint whiff of Carrot Cake. As the coffee brewed, however, there was no particular aroma that could detected from the coffeemaker other than. Experiences has shown that... well, that sometimes Bones blends are fabulously aromatic and not so fabulously tasting, or no more aromatic than your average coffee but deliver great flavor from the cup. Experience has also shown that there can be great variation in flavors depending on how a blend is consumed and what is added to it, with the same type of coffee being magic in the mouth, or a terror to the taste buds.

 

When I poured the first cup, a vaguely sweet smell rose from the cup. When consumed it hot and black, the flavor of carrot cake mixes pleasantly with that of coffee. Although it was still had a little too much bite for my weak palate, I can see myself drinking this without any milk or creamer added if none were available. That said, I could not really taste the cream cheese icing that supposedly should also be present here, but the carrot cake definitely came through.

Interestingly, when I tried this with Unsweetened Almond Milk, the coffee flavor was drawn out while the carrot cake flavor retreated; the almond milk make this taste more like straight, black coffee than it did when I drank it straight. As the coffee cooled, though, the sweeter undertones of carrot cake reemerged--and this time, the icing flavor was there, too. At room temperature, it was a GREAT-tasting coffee beverage!

I was already beginning to write this article in my head as I moved onto trying a cup of Carrot Cake with sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer--but my first sip of this next cup reminded me about the hazards of leaping to conclusions. Where the almond milk obscured the carrot-cakeness of this blend when it was hot, the creamer brought it powerfully and tastily to the fore, cream cheese frosting flavor and all. As the coffee cooled, the enhanced carrot cake and icing flavor remained stable and strong. A great drink was even better with the creamer added.

To my great delight, the Carrot Cake blend also works over ice. I have come to fear disappointment during this, typically my final taste test for these reviews; several Bones blends become incredibly salty when consumed ice, some to the point where it's like drinking coffee with actual salt added.

This did not happen with Carrot Cake, thankfully. Instead, when consumed over ice, the flavors of coffee and carrot cake mix in a mellow fashion, as they did when I drank the blend straight. When iced, both the almond milk and the creamer made the flavors of carrot cake and icing pop, although not to the degree when the coffee is consumed at room temperature. Still, it tasted great.

Carrot Cake is another excellent offering from Bones. If you're looking for a nice dessert coffee or just something sweet, you should check this one out before it leaves the rotation again. You can check out what Bones Coffee has on their website by clicking here, or you can see what's available at their store on Amazon. 

The Easter Bunny Backups

In case of trouble, the Shades of Gray Easter Bunny Backups are standing by.

Rachel Weisz is the Back-up Bunny this year.

And she will be supported by Mystery Bunny (who is secretly actress Tallulah Willis).

Meanwhile, Sheena Liam--Malaysia's greatest embroidery artist, fashion model, and expert in Martian Easter traditions--will leap into action to deliver eggs to any visitors from the Red Planet.