Monday, November 22, 2010

Mohammed Monday: Silly Mo!

The cartoon below originally appeared on this blog as part of the international celebration of freedom of expression that was Everybody Draw Mohammed Day. It makes me wonder who is sillier... Mohammed or the idol-worshipers (the Mo-rons) who threaten to murder anyone who draws a picture of their false god.

For those new in these parts, Mohammed Mondays will continue at least through the end of 2010. It was started as a response to psychopathic Muslims and Mo-rons and their enablers in the American press forcing the lady who inspired Everybody Draw Mohammed Day into hiding. Click here for background information.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

'The Mystery Train' deserves attention

The Mystery Train (1931)
Starring: Marceline Day, Hedda Hopper, Nick Stuart, Al Cooke, Carol Tevis, and Bryant Washburn
Director: Phil Whitman
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Sociopathic socialite Marion Radcliffe (Hopper) helps Joan (Day), a beautiful convicted criminal, escape from custody and makes her part of an elaborate scheme to force her to marry millionaire bachelor Ronald Stanthorpe (Stuart). Marion hopes to gain control of Ronald's fortune to replace her own lost fortune, but her plans start to unravel when Joan and Ronald truly fall in love, and it turns out that Joan was actually framed for her supposed crime and the authorities are not seeking her to put in her prison but to exonerate her.


"The Mystery Train" is an intrigue- and action-packed tale that packs more romance, comedy, and suspense into its 62-minute running time than many movies with twice the length manage to offer. The script is tight and lean, with not a scrap of padding in evidence as its characters move through the effectively paced and well-filmed scenes and story twists involving a train wreck, blackmail, cat-and-mouse with police detectives, stolen jewels... all of it leading to a suspenseful climax on a runaway, decoupled passenger train car that is carrying both heroes and villains to a certain doom.

Hedda Hopper does a nice job playing the vicious, scheming Radcliffe and Marceline Day is perfect as the innocent girl she is trying to use as her way back to unlimited wealth. Nick Stuart is a notch above the usual male leads in films like this, coming across as likable and charming rather than annoying or bland as is typical. The comic relief has even held up better to the passage of time than that in most B-movies of this vintage, with Al Cooke and Carol Tevis playing a pair of train-riding, barely newlyweds whose marriage is already on the rocks.

But this film isn't as good as it is just because because of the talented cast being served by a well-written script. Unlike many other films from this period set on trains, some effort was actually made by the director and effects people to make it seem like the actors are actually onboard a train. Using sound and motion, and even some unsteady steps as actors move through hallways, laudable and successful attempts to create the illusion of being on a moving train are made.

All in all, "The Mystery Train" is one of the many movies from the early days of talkies that doesn't deserve the obscurity it fell into. I recommend it to lovers of classic detective stories and dramas.

Friday, November 19, 2010

'The Maltese Falcon' is a mystery classic

The Maltese Falcon (1941)
Starring: Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, Peter Lorre, Sydney Greenstreet, Gladys George, and Elisha Cook Jr.
Director: John Huston
Rating: Ten of Ten Starts

When private detective Sam Spade (Bogart) tries to solve the mystery surrounding the murder of his partner, he finds himself drawn into a struggle between eccentric treasure hunters (Greenstreet and Lorre) and a beautiful con artist who may or may not also be a coldhearted killer (Astor). At stake is the Maltese Falcon, a treasure of almost unimaginable value.


"The Maltese Falcon" is one of the few movies that truly deserves the label "classic." It's a perfectly paced detective story, with just the right mix of suspense and humor to bring out the maximum effectiveness of both elements as they play off each other.

The characters are quirky and unpredictable to the point where the final outcome of the story remains in question until the final few minutes of the film, and each actor is perfectly cast in their role. Even better, every line of dialogue is perfectly crafted and delivered with spot-on timing.

In fact, everything in this film is about as perfect as a film could possibly be. If you're a fan of the hardboiled detective genre or mysteries in general and you haven't yet seen this masterpiece, you owe it to yourself to change that.

Humphrey Bogart as the deeply flawed hero Sam Spade is particularly excellent in the part, as a man with questionable moral values yet a firm personal code of honor who finds a woman (Mary Astor's Brigid O'Shaughnessy) who at first seems capable of bringing out the best in him, but who ultimately may end up bringing out the absolute worst in him. While Spade is constantly fighting verbally and physically with the Lorre, Cook and Greenstreet's villains, it is Brigid who is Spade's main foil and she turns out to be one of the screen's greatest femme fatales, because Astor brings a vulnerability to a character who may be the hardest of any of the hard cases that populate this story that goes a long way to keeping the mysteries swirling through the plot open questions until the very end. As amusing and dramatic as Lorre and Greenstreet's performances are, it is Astor who is the true driver of the story, providing a great portrayal of a character that is almost as important as Bogart's Sam Spade when it comes to the success of this film.

There are only a handful of movies that I've watched more than once. "The Maltese Falcon" is one of those. Check it out, and I'm sure you'll see why.






Trivia: "The Maltese Falcon" was the third adaptation of the Hammett novel by the same title. This goes to show that not all remakes are bad. Some are even improvements on the original film. (Although, by all accounts, the 1931 and 1936 versions are pretty good, too, with the 19365 version being a spoof. I haven't seen either of those older movies yet, but both other versions are included in the DVD edition I've linked to above while the Blue-Ray edition only includes the 1936 comedy version, "Satan Met a Lady".)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Picture Perfect Wednesday:
Attack of the Astro-Zombies!

Astro-Zombies are murderous, science-created monsters that have been featured in three (so far) movies from B-movie auteur Ted V. Mikels. You can click here to read about the production of 2002 film "Mark of the Astro-Zombies", and here to read my reviews of both "Astro-Zombies" and "Mark of the Astro-Zombies".

Here's the best Astro-Zombie art from a gallery that is located at www.tedvmikels.com. Dating from around 2003, the illustrations are by some of the best comic book artists working then and now. You can click on the individual illos to see larger versions, and if the artist has a website with more of his work, click on his name to visit it.

No matter what you might think of Mikels' movies, these are great drawings.

By "Buzz"
By Adam Hughes
By Frank Brunner
By Mike Hoffman
By Jerry Bingham
By Sal Velluto

By Mike Grell
By Norm Breyfogle

By Mike Deodato Jr.
By Kevin Conrad
By Tom Nguyen


Monday, November 15, 2010

Mohammed Monday:
The Joy of the Prophet Muhammad Painting


Originally presented as part of the world-wide Everybody Draw Mohammed Day, this cartoon first appeared at www.friendlyatheist.com. It's a spoof of the famous Bob Ross "Joy of Painting" instructional television show and books. (And if more Muslims decided to exchange painting for their current hobbies of mayhem and murder, the world would be far, far better place.)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

'Nova' is mediocre 1970s sci-fi/superhero comics

Essential Nova (Marvel Comics, 2006)
Writers: Marv Wolfman and Len Wein
Artists: John Buscema, Sal Buscema, Carmine Infantino, Frank Giacoia, Tom Palmer, et.al.
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Some comic book series start start out strong and die whimpering. The majority start in mediocrity and end in mediocrity, and that is the case with the series "A Man Called Nova", which is presented in its entirely, along with Nova's guest appearances in "Amazing Spider-Man" and "Marvel Two-in-One", in this entry in Marvel's massive, low-cost reprint book series "Essential Marvel."

Created and written by Marv Wolfman, "A Man Called Nova" centers of Richard Rider, a perfectly average high-schooler who is chosen by a dying alien soldier to be the inheritor of his mantle and his powers. Rider's first excursion as a superhero pits him against the destroyer of the distant alien world of Xandar, where his benefactor originated, and he later battles against the enigmatic Sphinx, the high-flying Condor, the bizarre Corruptor, the mad Blacklight, and many other colorful foes. Eventually, Rider is drawn into outer space, a war with the Skrull, and a race between the Sphinx and the insane machine-man Dr. Sun to control the living computers of far away Xandar.



For most of 500+ pages of comics that are presented in the book, Richard Rider/Nova place a distant, boring second to the villains he faces. Rider is simply TOO average to be interesting, and the same is true of his super-hero identity: He can fly really fast, he's super-strong, he can take a punch like nobody else... and his helmet folds like cloth when he takes it off. And that about sums it up.

The villains he fights would almost all make better stars of a comic book than he does with the Condor--a would-be kingpin of crime whose main shtick is super-science--and the Sphinx--who is questing for the secrets of the universe so he might end his immortal existence--making Nova look particularly boring when they squared off against him.

It isn't until the series is about to be cancelled that it started getting interesting, and even mildly at that. Although, like so many superhero titles, "The Man Called Nova" flirted with science fiction, the last 1/8th of the book starts moving completely in that direction. A few of the earlier stories in the book--and the best ones, by the way--had drawn heavily on sci-fi, but the majority of them were tepid super-hero stories "the Marvel Way." I suspect that if Wolfman had gone with the sci-fi angle consistently from the outset, and moved more quickly toward the Sphinx/Xandar/Skrull War storyline (which seems to have been planned from the outset), I think the original series may have been able to find an audience.






Trivia: Nova became the object of a copyright suit filed by Marv Wolfman against Marvel Comics. He wanted the rights back to the character, because he had originally created one that was very similar while a fan. He lost his case. (Let that be a lesson to all you creative out there: If you think you love a character well enough that you want to keep it yours forever, DON'T use it or some close approximation of it to fill obligations you enter into under work-for-hire agreements.)

Friday, November 12, 2010

This is your brain on drugs....

... or something very close to it. This 1931 cartoon is about as trippy as they come!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Picture Perfect Wednesday Giveaway #1:
Win "150 Movies to (Die Before You) See"

Identify the movie that still is from and win a copy of my soon-to-be-in-bookstores tongue-in-cheek movie review book "150 Movies To (Die Before You) See." Full of trivia, capsule reviews, and descriptions of films that are either flawed, failed, or F-ed up in some other way, it's sure to be the new favorite bathroom reading in any household!


To win, you have to a) be the first person to correctly identify the movie in the comments section of this post; c) be willing to give me your snail-mail address, so I can get the book sent to you, and d) have a working email address linked to your profile (or that you include in the reply) so I can contact you..

The contest remains open until 11/17, or the movie is identified correctly. Good luck! (If this one goes off, I'll do another give-away.)





(Hint: It's a film directed by Jack Hill.)

Monday, November 8, 2010

'Seventeen Ninja': A film as hidden as the ninja?

Seventeen Ninja (1962)
Starring: Jushiro Konoe, Ryutaro Otomo, and Satomi Kotaro
Director: Yatsuo Hasegawa
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

As the Shogun lays dying, seventeen Iga clan ninja are sent to infiltrate the impenetrable fortress where his youngest son is preparing to storm Edo Castle and name himself Shogun by force of arms. They are to either steal the documents that will eventually give him lawful claim to rulership, or they are to assassinate him. But even before they reach the castle walls, they find their every move countered by a ruthless ninja hunter in the employ of the would-be usurper (Konoe), who not only knows their every tactic but knows the exact make-up of their team thanks to his own spies within Edo Castle. As the Iga Ninja fall one by one, the mission's success or complete failure--where failure will result in a bloody war of succession--comes to hinge on a single young and inexperienced ninja (Kotaro).


Interestingly, although a friend alerted me to the "classic status" of this film--it's thought of very highly of by those well-versed in the ninja genre (a sentiment verified at the site I grabbed the still from, Vintage Ninja)--it's not listed in IMDB. I'm used to films I write about "not existing," but I'm always surprised when I find a classic that's not in their database, even a foreign one like this. Especially when it's deserving of the label "classic" like this film is.

"Seventeen Ninja" was one of the earliest movies to portray ninja in a realistic light. There are no spells, no flying sword-fights, and no magic beans/pellets that allow the ninja to mysteriously disappear in puffs of smoke. There are just guys in black outfits fighting Japanese samurai with big shoulder pads. The ninja in this movie are masters of disguise, infiltration, and covert murder. They are, as they were historically, spies and guerrilla fighters who rely on specialized skills and equipment to get their dirty work done.

The life of a ninja, as portrayed in this film, is one of anonymous servitude, to the ninja clan first and to the lords who hire them second. The life of a ninja is also cheap, and, although every ninja is resigned to the fact that they might be called upon to sacrifice themselves at any moment, the film gains some depth from the fact that the leader of this band of ninja (Ryutaro Otomo) has grown frustrated with seeing his men die, especially while performing missions that he feels uncomfortable with. Like the one that claims his team in this movie. The character takes a couple of surprising actions born from his frustration, actions that are against the stereotype of the hardbitten ninja master and they will keep you guessing as to what the final outcome will be.

Another character that is more complex than is usual is the "anti-ninja expert" portrayed by Jushiro Konoe. He plays a character very much like the bitter ninja slayer from "Ninja Hunt", Wada, except that here he is the villain. Like "Ninja Hunt", however, there is not much in the way of a moral distinction between the "good guys" (the ninja assassins trying to infiltrate the castle) and the "bad guys" (the samurai and their "new retainer" that are trying to stop them). Both sides are killers, and both sides view human beings primarily as disposable assets that are there to be sacrificed on the whim of their "betters." There might have been a bigger gulf between the ninja heroes and their opponents if the viewer didn't feel a growing sympathy for Konoe's character, even as he's causing the deaths of the film's heroes; he is working for people so full of themselves and their self-perceived stature that they time and again disregard the very expert advice they hired him to provide.

Aside from the multi-faceted chief antagonists in the film, "Seventeen Ninja" is blessed with some great cinematography where the black-and-white medium is used to its fullest dramatic potential and the drama is heightened even further by expert framing of shots. It's a movie that's just great to look at.

On the downside, it slants a little too heavily toward melodrama, with just enough speeches being delivered with too much emphasis on each and every word and just too many pregnant pauses to make the film feel draggy during its first half. Things get more exciting when the impossibility of the Iga Ninjas' mission becomes apparent, and more focus is placed on Jushiro Konoe and Ryutaro Otomo's characters, but that first hour requires a little patience.

It's the second-best movie in the "Ninja Collection Vol. 1" set, and combined with the aforementioned "Ninja Hunt" is what makes the set worth buying, especially if you're a fan of Japanese movies.





The deadliest of blogathons....

Note: While looking alternative titles for this film, I discovered that there's another blogathon going on featuring ninja movies (and Japanese movies in general). It's a real blogathon, not like my one-man show here. Click on this link to check it out.

Mohammed Monday:
At the Department of Islamic Development