Something a little different...

Today, we got the laziest, most pathetic scam e-mail we've ever received at Shades of Gray. In fact, it's so bad that we felt it should be placed here and preserved for posterity. (Click on the image for a larger, more legible version.)

The email address from which it originated has already been reported for phishing, but you should feel free to call the phone number if you are really bored (and have a blocked caller ID).

The Avengers Dossier, Page Thirteen

Many actors familiar to fans of action films or spy dramas of the 1960 and 1970s could be found as guest-stars on "The Avengers". Here's another look at one of those.

JULIAN GLOVER

In "Two's a Crowd", Julian Glover is one of several handlers for a Soviet assassin so elusive it's as if he's made of smoke.

Born in 1935, and trained as a classical actress, Julian Glover made his professional debut in 1953. He has spent the past seven decades dividing his work between the stage, film, and television work. His sharp facial features, talent for doing voices and accents, and an ability to project an icy coldness made him ideal to play refined villains, haughty academics, and aristocratic military men and police officers.

Beginning in the early 1960s and continuing on into the 1980s, Glover was a familiar face to British television viewers, making frequent guest appearances and playing recurring or starring roles on a range of television series, such as "Doctor Who" (on which he played three different characters over the years), "Spy Trap" (in which he co-starred during the 1972 season), and "The Avengers" (where he played four different characters, in 1965, 1967, 1968, and 1969 respectively. During the 1980s and 1990s, he became known to American television viewers with appearances on shows like "Remington Steele". During the 2000s, he had a recurring role on the HBO fantasy series "Game of Thrones".

 

Glover has the distinction of being the only actor who's appeared as a villain in a "Star Wars" movie ("The Empire Strikes Back"), a James Bond movie ("For Your Eyes Only") and an Indiana Jones movie ("Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade"). He's stated that a great unfulfilled ambition of his career was to play the time time-traveling alien Doctor Who, but there may be time for that yet: Glover is still a working actor who maintains a busy stage and film schedule.

'Forgotten Sweeties' should be visted

Forgotten Sweeties (1927)
Starring: Charley Chase, Anita Garvin, Shirley Palmer, Mitchell Lewis, and James Finlayson
Director: James Parrott
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

When an absent-minded office worker (Chase) and former lover (Palmer) end up living across the hall from each other, neither his wife (Garvin) nor the ex-lover's husband (Lewis) are happy about it.

"Forgotten Sweeties" is a comedy of errors where coincidences morph into misunderstandings that are piled onto mistakes until our hapless hero is about to lose his marriage if he's not murdered first. Like many Chase films, it's structured in such a way that the gags and situations feed naturally into each other, with their being a sort-of realism to the film that is not found in many silent comedies. Even better, the main character of the film is another one of Chase's Nice Guy heroes who is very literally just trying to get through the day and not looking for any trouble. You can actually feel sympathy for this guy, especially since there is almost nothing he could have done differently that would have not put him in the situations he ends up in.

This is one of those short films that will be ruined if I talk too much about what happens in it. However, I can assure you if you enjoy sit-coms and like silent comedies, you'll find plenty to entertain yourself here. Anita Garvin also gets to play a more sympathetic character than usual, so that's a nice change of pace.

Not every bit in "Forgotten Sweeties" works--and I suspect that part of that may be due to a social context that has been muted by the passage of time, but others are just a little too silly and drag on just a little too long--but the good outweighs that bad. The running gag with James Finlayson and a cat during the second half of the film is one of the highlights here.

"Forgotten Sweeties" is one of a handful of Charley Chase shorts included in the "Silent Comedy Classics" collection, all of which were digitized from the collection of film preservationist John Carpenter. It's a great DVD... at a price that's a steal. It's more than worth the price, I think.

Ending June with Junes

Milla Meets the Cat People

It's time for another of our quarterly visits with a favorite here at Shades of Gray: Milla Jovovich!

Milla's been menaced by virus-borne monsters, hunted by assassins, and kidnapped by mandroids. Now, the Cat People are being a pain in her neck! 

But who are they? What do they want? Find out by rolling on the following random tables, which allow you to generate a random story outline that you can then turn into an adventure to use with players in a roleplaying game. (NUELOW Games has released an entire book of this sort of thing, themed around murder mysteries, which you can get a copy of here. You can also see more random outline generators and similar material at the NUELOW Games blog. )

WHO ARE THE CAT PEOPLE? (Roll 1d6)

1. Invaders and/or refugees from an alien planet

2. Explorers from an alien planet

3. Visitors from another dimension

4. Neighbors who have been living among humanity since the dawn 

    of civilization.

5. Travelers from a secret city, deep in the jungle.

6. Refugees from the Hollow Earth.

WHAT ARE THEIR POWERS (Roll 1d6)

1-2. Standard lycanthropes who transform from humans into 

    black panthers (1-4) or tigers (5-6) when subjected to appropriate 

    triggers. Natural felines are frightened around them.

3. Shapeshifters who can turn from humans to black panthers (1-4) 

    or tigers (5-6) at will. They have amazingly good rapport with 

    natural felines.

4. Shapeshifters who can turn from humans into humanoid cat-beings 

    (their true forms). They have amazingly good rapport with natural 

    felines.

5. Shapeshifters who can turn from humans into black panthers or 

    humanoid cat-beings at will. They have amazingly good rapport 

    with natural felines.

6. Roll again. The Cat People are as described, but they are locked in 

    their human forms due to a curse.

   (Additionally, see "d20 Cat People" below, if you're using a d20 System-based rules set.*)

WHAT DO THEY WANT? (Roll 1d6)

1. To find lost Cat People who are unaware of their true natures due to an ancient curse, remove said curse, and return them to their civilization.

2. To conquer Earth.

3. To return home.

4. To breed with humans to make more Cat People.

5. To stop a demonic invasion of Earth.

6. To remove an ancient curse that is slowing causing them to go extinct.

--

*If you like the d20 System, and you liked this post, come back next week when we'll present rules for D20 CAT PEOPLE!

Happy birthday to Lalla Ward!

Lalla Ward, best known for her role as the second regeneration of Romana (and perhaps the cutest of all Timelords) on "Doctor Who", turns 70 years old today! Here are some pictures from of her from the 70s in celebration!

Musical Monday with Magnetic Fields

The Magnetic Fields was formed in 1989, with Stephin Merritt (the band's primary songwriter) and Claudia Gonson forming the band's foundation and John Woo, Shirley Sims, and Sam Davol arriving to build on it. Merritt is the primary songwriter for the group, as well as the primary vocalist (with Gonson taking a turn as lead singer every now and then); all members are multi-instrumentalists. 

For more than 30 years of recording and touring together, Magnetic Fields has been one of the more interesting (not to mention amusing) performers of experimental pop around. Today's song is taken from their latest album--Quickies (2020)--and it seems like they're only getting better with age. It's song with a premise that seems more and more likely to be true with each passing week.

The terror of the KILLDOZER!

Here's a series of tables that you can use to randomly generate ideas for an adventure inspired by artwork from the great Gil Kane for a rejected cover for a comic book adaptation of the 1941 short story "Killdozer" by Theodore Sturgeon.

   Roll a six-sided die and record the result to make your basic outline. If results seem incompatible, you can re-roll, or you can use them as a mysterious element in your story and/or an avenue to come up with a truly outlandish and unique backstory for the rampage of the Killdozer!

NIGHT OF THE KILLDOZER

A Randomly Generated Roleplaying Game Adventure Outline

A series of mishaps and accidents at a worksite culminate with a bulldozer rampaging through the area, crushing everything and everyone in its path. Will the player characters put an end to the nightmare, or will it put an end to them?

WHEN DOES THE STORY TAKE PLACE [optional]

1. In the early 1930s.

2. In the mid-1940s.

3. In the late 1950s.

4. In mid-1970s.

5. In the early 1990s.

6. In the late 2020s.

REGION WHERE DOES THE STORY TAKE PLACE [optional]?

1. In Main, in the north-eastern United States.

2. Near Hadrian's Wall in northern England

3. Near Four Corners in the American Southwest.

4. In southern Afghanistan.

5. In the Amazonian Jungle.

6. In Egypt, not far from Cairo.

WHERE DOES THE STORY TAKE PLACE (SPECIFICALLY)?

1. At a newly opening mine.

2. At a mine that is reopening.

3. At a construction site.

4. At an archeological site.

5. At a lumber camp near a river or lake

6. At a decommissioned military facility

HOW DO THE HEROES BECOME INVOLVED?

1-2. They are hired to provide security.

3-5. They are part of the project from the beginning.

6. They uncover rumors of strange events that have happened at 

     the site through the centuries, and they come to investigate.

WHAT IS THE WORK TAKING PLACE?

1. Mining

2. Logging

3. Road Construction

4. Demolition of an Abandoned Mental Hospital/Secret 

    Government Research Facility

5. Archeological Excavation of an Area Once Home to a 

    Mysterious and Long-Lost Civilization

6. Construction of a Housing Development

WHAT GIVES LIFE TO THE KILLDOZER?

1. Spells protecting a buried Atlantean artifact that have been 

    activated because the vault housing it has been partially 

    unearthed and damaged.

2. Angry spirits (3d6, maximum of 13) of those interred at an 

    ancient burial ground on the site.

3. Demons (3d6, maximum of 13) who were trapped in buried 

    containers but were released when they were damaged.

4. Nature spirits (1d3+1) summoned by militant environmentalist 

    mystics who want to avenge the damage the project is doing 

    to the Earth.

5. An alien device has projected its awareness into the Killdozer.

6. Highly advanced circuitry and an IA, created and installed 

    by a mad scientist.

WHO GAVE LIFE TO THE KILLDOZER AND WHY?

1-3. The "who" and "why" are the same as the "what"; the very 

     activity on the site animated the Killdozer.

4. A crazed mystic seeking revenge against the funders or leaders 

    of the project.

5-6. A mysterious cabal that wants to keep things buried on the site 

     exactly where they are.

WHAT DOES THE KILLDOZER WANT?

1-2. To destroy everyone and everything in its path, for the sake 

    of destruction.

3. To avenge the damage to nature that has been caused by the work 

     at the site.

4. To have proper respect shown to the location and the supernatural 

     beings who dwell there via the performance of ancient, now very 

     obscure, rituals.

5-6. To be transported to another world/dimension.

HOW CAN THE KILLDOZER BE STOPPED?

1-2. Explosives. Lots of explosives.

3. Ramming it with other heavy machinery until it's destroyed.

4. Finding a way to communicate with the spirits/demons animating 

    it and putting them to rest.

5. Letting it run out of gas.

6. Uncovering an ancient artifact hidden at the site (or nearby) and 

    turning it on the Killdozer.

IS IT TRULY OVER?

1. Yes. The Killdozer is destroyed and work can continue safely.

2. More or less. The root cause of what animated the Killdozer may 

     cause more mayhem unless additional action is taken.

3. No. Once the Killdozer is stopped, the force animating it seizes 

    control of another vehicle on the site. (Treat as #2 if the solution

    is to put angry spirits/demons to rest.)

4. No. Once the Killdozer is stopped the force animating it possesses 

    workers and the site, turning them into homicidal puppets. 

    (Treat as #2 if the solution is to put angry spirits/demons to rest.)

5. No. Once the kill Killdozer is stopped, the force animating it turns 

    ALL vehicles at the construction site in murderous engines 

    of destruction.

6. No. Once the Killdozer is stopped, a mystical burst of 

    energy transports everyone at the site to the distant past (1-2); 

    an alien planet (3-4); a nightmarish other-dimensional hellscape 

    (4-6).

--

If you enjoyed this post, you can find more outline generators and other ideas for your roleplaying campaigns at the NUELOW Games blog! And if you REALLY liked this post, you should consider buying some of the many products by Steve Miller & Friends, here, because it will encourage them to make more!

The Avengers: Silent Dust

Silent Dust (1965)
Starring: Patrick Macnee, Diana Rigg, William Franklyn, Jack Watson, Isobel Black, Joanna Wake, Charles Lloyd Pack
Director: Roy Ward Baker
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

An investigation into the use of a banned pesticide puts a pair of government agents (Macnee and Rigg) in the crosshairs of a group of land owners intending to blackmail the British government.

The best things I can say about "Silent Dust" is that it never gets boring--one can almost always rely on Roy Ward Baker to keep things moving--and Steed has some funny exchanges with a scientist he consults during the investigation (played by Charles Lloyd Pack, who perhaps Great Britain's hardest working bit-player during the 1950s and 1960s.). Diana Rigg also has some amusing lines when Peel is expressing opinions about the episode's villains to Steed... but they are nowhere near as witty as what can found found in other episodes.

What is also better in many other episodes is the villains. Not only are the ones in "Silent Dust" mostly bland, but their scheme is absolute nonsense and one that had no chance of success (or even resulting in long-term benefit to the villains if anyone had bothered to think things through). And yeah... that's how bad it is--I am complaining about something in an episode of "The Avengers" that doesn't make sense.... 

One interesting aspect of the show is how fox hunting figures in the show, even if it becomes a bit lame toward the end. It's one of the many times when the societal changes that were shaking the long-standing British class system and gender roles in the mid-1960s. It's also one of the reasons that this episode is still worth watching today--it's something of a historical artifact.

It's a Picture Perfect Wednesday...

 ... and I'm certain there's a Schrodinger joke to be made here.