Showing posts with label Milla Jovovich. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Milla Jovovich. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 23, 2022

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly

Mask mandates are being lifted left and right, but many out there are still terrified of catching Covid-19, and they are even more terrified of those who may be spreading it. We feel for you, we want to help you. We want to make sure you fit in.

With that in mind, we here at Shades of Gray have created the Safety Sweater! It's fashionable, and it'll keep you and others safe when there happens to be filthy, disease-bearing peasants about and Safe Social Distances can't be maintained! 

Here's Milla Jovovich demonstrating how easy it is to use the Safety Sweater. All you have to do is turn the turtleneck of the Safety Sweater into a facemask that provides all the protection of those things you've been wearing around for the past few years. And when the danger has passed, you just roll it down again.


The Shades of Gray Safety Sweaters are available in black, white, and gray, and in sizes from XXS to XXXXL. Now you can face the Risks of Covid-19 and still be fashionable! These sweaters are unisex, so you don't even have to worry about your gender while getting one!

As Dr. Anthony Fauci (the greatest infectious disease expert in the history of greatness and disease) once said, "There's no reason to be walking around in a mask."

And thanks to the Safety Sweater, he's finally right!



Wednesday, December 29, 2021

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly



Milla Jovovich has been a mainstay of this blog since its first full year of operation in 2010. Even during the quiet period between 2012 and 2017, where less than 100 posts were made each year, we got at least one Milla post in.

From Milla Jovovich's photoshoot for  "Vogue Spain"

As previously mentioned in this space, we've been fans of Milla Jovovich since we first encountered her in "The Fifth Element" and there we've yet to see her in a movie that we completely hated. (Even if "Million Dollar Hotel" came perilously close to earning that dubious honor...) Thankfully, since she's always split her time between modeling and acting, there's an abundance of photos of her to feature, and we've always had plenty of material to work with for straight picture posts, or from which to draw inspiration for more elaborate efforts such as this or this.

While we are hesitant to make predictions about what 2022 will bring, we feel confident that Milla will show up here every few months... in black...

Milla Jovovich standing, wearing black



... and white.

Milla Jovovich sitting, wearing white



Thursday, September 9, 2021

Tuesday, June 29, 2021

Milla Meets the Cat People

It's time for another of our quarterly visits with a favorite here at Shades of Gray: Milla Jovovich!

Milla's been menaced by virus-borne monsters, hunted by assassins, and kidnapped by mandroids. Now, the Cat People are being a pain in her neck! 

Milla Jovovich Meets the Cat People

But who are they? What do they want? Find out by rolling on the following random tables, which allow you to generate a random story outline that you can then turn into an adventure to use with players in a roleplaying game. (NUELOW Games has released an entire book of this sort of thing, themed around murder mysteries, which you can get a copy of here. You can also see more random outline generators and similar material at the NUELOW Games blog. )

WHO ARE THE CAT PEOPLE? (Roll 1d6)
1. Invaders and/or refugees from an alien planet
2. Explorers from an alien planet
3. Visitors from another dimension
4. Neighbors who have been living among humanity since the dawn 
    of civilization.
5. Travelers from a secret city, deep in the jungle.
6. Refugees from the Hollow Earth.

WHAT ARE THEIR POWERS (Roll 1d6)
1-2. Standard lycanthropes who transform from humans into 
    black panthers (1-4) or tigers (5-6) when subjected to appropriate 
    triggers. Natural felines are frightened around them.
3. Shapeshifters who can turn from humans to black panthers (1-4) 
    or tigers (5-6) at will. They have amazingly good rapport with 
    natural felines.
4. Shapeshifters who can turn from humans into humanoid cat-beings 
    (their true forms). They have amazingly good rapport with natural 
    felines.
5. Shapeshifters who can turn from humans into black panthers or 
    humanoid cat-beings at will. They have amazingly good rapport 
    with natural felines.
6. Roll again. The Cat People are as described, but they are locked in 
    their human forms due to a curse.
   (Additionally, see "d20 Cat People" below, if you're using a d20 System-based rules set.*)

WHAT DO THEY WANT? (Roll 1d6)
1. To find lost Cat People who are unaware of their true natures due to an ancient curse, remove said curse, and return them to their civilization.
2. To conquer Earth.
3. To return home.
4. To breed with humans to make more Cat People.
5. To stop a demonic invasion of Earth.
6. To remove an ancient curse that is slowing causing them to go extinct.



--
*If you like the d20 System, and you liked this post, come back next week when we'll present rules for D20 CAT PEOPLE!


Wednesday, April 21, 2021

International Wanna-Be Dancer Day!

On next Thursday, April 29, it's International Dance Day... but today, we celebrate International Wanna-Be Dancer Day. Here are a few noteworthy wanna-bes!

Milla Jovovich


Gloria Talbott


Ann Sothern as ballerina
Ann Sothern






 
Bessie Love
Bessie Love



Wednesday, December 30, 2020

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly: Quiet Please!

Milla is seen here with her oldest child Ever. They are asking that everyone keep the New Year's celebrations on the quiet side. Ever's youngest sister was born earlier this year, and the baby needs her sleep... so the rest of the family can get theirs!


Tuesday, September 29, 2020

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly


Halloween is several weeks away, but we are wondering if Milla Jovovich is dressing up like a devil, or if a devil is dressing up like Milla Jovovich?

Milla as Devil? Devil as Milla?
Milla as Devil? Devil as Milla?
Milla as devil? Devil as Milla?



Friday, June 26, 2020

Firearms Friday with Milla Jovovich

Actress/model/singer/fashion-designer/director Milla Jovovich was born in 1975, and she began modeling as a young teen in the late 1980s. After a couple roles in sitcoms like "Married with Children" and "Parker Lewis Can't Lose", she began appearing in films, with "Chaplin" (1992) and "Dazed and Confused" (1993) being the first films where she began to fully get the attention from the movie-going public she deserved.

Milla Jovovich pointing gun at viewer

It was with "The Fifth Element" (1997) that Jovovich first played the sort of role that she became most closely associated with: That of a woman who can kick the ass of all comers, whether she is armed or not. Throughout the 2000s, and into the present day, she has performed Gun-Fu in many big-budget films, across several genres (with the "Resident Evil" films being foremost among these). She has always, however, balanced roles in these big-budget action films with appearances in comedies, dramas, and more artsy action films with smaller budgets.

Milla Jovovich has been a constant favorite of ours throughout the years, and the Milla Jovovich Quarterly is the longest-running post series on this blog. You can see more from her by clicking on the tag below, as well as on our sister blogs, Terror Titans, Cinema Steve, and Watching the Detectives. (Meanwhile, we're also looking forward to seeing her in "Monster Hunter", as well as to find out what she'll be playing in the screen adaptation of the "Corto Maltese" graphic novel series.

Friday, March 20, 2020

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly

"Hey, Winter. C'mere. Yeah, you. I'm talking to you. Just come here."

Milla Jovovich in overcoat

"Don't be afraid... I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just gonna put you in the closet with this big coat, because IT'S SPRING NOW, AND YOU ARE DONE!

"Because I'm sick of it being too cold for me to ride my motorcycle in my underwear!"

Milla Jovovich being sexy


Wednesday, December 18, 2019

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly



Is Milla looking into a second career as a cab driver or a rocketship pilot? We don't know, but we do know that while this may be her last appearance in these parts during the 2010s, she'll be back for the Roaring '20s Redux!

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Friday, June 14, 2019

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly

They say that strange women laying around in ponds and distributing swords may not be a good basis for a government... but how about we try Millas sitting around in parks and distributing swords?





Monday, April 22, 2019

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly on Musical Monday


In 2016, Milla Jovovich made her directorial debut at the helm of the video for a single from UK musician Sohn. She also stars in the haunting piece of film, which sees her giving a dramatic non-verbal performance in front of a screen where she's giving a dramatic non-verbal performance while a third image of her is being projected upon her face and bare shoulders. You can check out the excellent song and even more excellent video below.



Milla will be back for another appearance next quarter... and hopefully she'll seem a little happier then!

--
NOTE: This post was originally slated to appear in February, but I forgot to let it "go live." (It was probably Fate, given that Milla Jovovich can currently be seen in theaters as the villain in the new "Hellboy" movie. I hope to get around to seeing it this weekend! I trust she will be as spectacular as she always is!

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Milla Jovovich Quarterly: Goodbye Summer!

The days are getting shorter, and the wind is carrying a sharper edge. Milla is planning to take one last walk along the beach before she has to bundle up.






Or maybe she'll grab a gun and pop a cap in Ole Man Winter's ass if he shows up any sooner than the end of October!



Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Milla Jovovich Quarterly: The Fiercest Foe!

Milla Jovovich has destroyed zombies, vampires, interstellar tyrants, and evil mega-corporations... but even she falls victim to the dreaded Bed Head!


Wednesday, March 21, 2018

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly:
Looking Out for Spring

Spring is here. Milla is patrolling the streets, looking to pop a cap in Winter if he dares to show his cold nose again!

Actress Milla Jovovich looking stern, wearing a white shirt and suit coat.
Actress Milla Jovovich smoking, wearing a black pants suit,

Sunday, December 17, 2017

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly

I've been a huge fan of Milla Jovovich since I first became aware of her, probably in "The Fifth Element." For a while, I was doing "The Milla Jovovich Quarterly" here at Shades of Grey, but I started to run low on interesting black-and-white pictures, so I stopped.

I now resume scheduled Milla Jovovich appearances with a post every year on her birthday! Here's hoping her 41st birthday is a happy one!


Wednesday, June 14, 2017