Monday, February 28, 2022

The greatest terrible mini-musical you'll ever see!

Rent-a-Person (2004)
Starring: James Haven, Jennifer Haworth, Oscar Torres, and JoJo Henrickson
Director: Kurt Kuenne
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

A lonely bathroom attendant (Haven) gains fame and fortune when he starts a business that pairs single drivers with a second person so they can use the carpool lane. But will he ever find love?
 

You've heard the phrase "so bad it's good"? It applies to film so ineptly made they become fun despite themselves... but it can also be applied to films like "Rent-a-Person" that take tropes and turn them upside down, take jokes to ridiculous extremes, or are such self-aware spoofs that they not only poke fun at their subject matter but end up making fun of themselves. And what we have here is not just good... it's GREAT!

Whether you love the movie musicals from the 1940s through the early 1960s, or hate them, I think you're going to get a big kick out of "Rent-a-Person". The same is true if you're just in the mood for an off-center comedy. 

Click below and sit back and enjoy the product of writer/director/songwriter Kurt Kuenne. If nothing else, you owe yourself the joy of experiencing the most inappropriate opening number of any musical you're ever likely to see anywhere.


Trivia: Jon Bokenkamp, the creator of "The Blacklist" and "Blacklist Redemption" television series, is featured in the opening scene of this film and credited as "Pooper". Kurt Kuenne has also directed a number of episodes of "The Blacklist." Click here to visit Kuenne's website.

Sunday, February 27, 2022

Bones Coffee's Bananas Foster Blend

I drink coffee. Then I write posts about the coffee I drink. Because this is important stuff the world needs to know! Almost as important as my reviews of films from the 1890s!

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: BANANAS FOSTER
This is another one of the Florida-based coffee roaster's flavored blends that can be had from other companies, being inspired by a famous New Orleans dessert. I've not tried it from other roaster--nor do I recall ever having the banana-rum-vanilla-ice-cream dish that inspired the flavors of which it purports to capture--but on it's own merits, this is a wonderful drink.

The starting point for the Bananas Foster blend is medium-roast of Arabica beans. The starting point, then, is already one that promises to be a smooth and easy-going one.

While the pot was brewing, a delicious aroma of bananas wafted from the kitchen to my office, causing my anticipation to build. I was not disappointed.

This blend is tasty straight from the pot. Although banana is the dominant smell as it brews, the dominant flavor (aside from coffee, naturally) is rum. You can still taste the banana, but it's more of a background sweetness than the aroma would indicate. I also think I tasted some brown sugar and vanilla  in thereadds sweetness to the blend, and I think I also tasted a some vanilla in there--which is appropriate for a blend with this name--and both these secondary flavors seem to get a little stronger when I drank a cup first with some almond milk added, and then with creamer. 

The Bananas Foster blend also keeps its flavor as it cools, unlike the Sinn-O-Bun blend, for example, which grows increasingly salty. This one is equally tasty iced as hot, whether you drink it with milk or creamer added straight. If anything, the brown sugar flavor gets stronger when you drink this iced.

If you like drinking coffee after dinner, this might be a good choice. Heck, it might even stand in for dessert all by itself, perhaps with just a couple sugar or chocolate chip cookies. 

If you can't make it to Mardi Gras, the Bananas Foster blend brings the party to you!



Thursday, February 24, 2022

'Laundry Blues' may not be for youse

Do you like using the word "problematic"? Do you think everyone and everything (including you) is racist?

If you answered "yes" to those questions, you should NOT watch the cartoon embedded below. We here at Shades of Gray tend to roll our eyes whenever someone starts bitching about how problematic and racist everything is... but even we found ourselves somewhat shocked by this... um... Chinese-themed cartoon. And "shocked" is not an overstatement.


Seriously: If you see racism in all things and/or find yourself gasping and looking around for the fainting couch when you encounter racist stereotypes, don't watch "Laundry Blues". By the time its 8-minute running time is over, you will  in a fetal position on the floor, blubbering incoherently. (If all the Oriental racism doesn't get you, the random out-of-left-field Jewish gag will.)

Actually, even if you aren't overly sensitive to issues of race and stereotypes, you might want to skip this one. Even if you try to set aside the societal changes that have taken place in the decades since "Laundry Blues" was released, this is one of the weaker efforts from the notoriously inconsistent quality-wise Van Beuren animation department. There's no plot to get in the way of the barely amusing, not terribly creative gags. The animation is okay--and there's a little more effort put into backgrounds than in many Van Beuren cartoons--but there's nothing that's particularly memorable. There isn't even much of the surrealism that often elevates Van Beuren cartoons in this one... plus, it's yet another one that features that creepy bit where multiple singing characters merge into one being via their mouths. (Why, John Foster? Why did you love that "gag" so much?)


All in all, "Laundry Blues" is a cartoon that time may have left behind. Like most Van Beuren efforts, it's got some great music, but sometimes it's hard to enjoy even that because what's on screen is so outrageous when viewed through 21st Century eyes. (Heck, even in 1930 there must have been some people in the audience who thought this was a bit much.)

We're giving this one a low Four Rating, with the nicely done musical score and songs lifting it up from a low Three.

As always, we invite you to check out the Van Beuren cartoon we cover here by clicking on the embedded video below. Maybe you can even share your opinion in the comments section. Just don't say we didn't warn you!

Laundry Blues (1930)
Starring: Anonymous Singers
Directors:  John Foster and Mannie Davis
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

Wednesday, February 23, 2022

The Milla Jovovich Quarterly

Mask mandates are being lifted left and right, but many out there are still terrified of catching Covid-19, and they are even more terrified of those who may be spreading it. We feel for you, we want to help you. We want to make sure you fit in.

With that in mind, we here at Shades of Gray have created the Safety Sweater! It's fashionable, and it'll keep you and others safe when there happens to be filthy, disease-bearing peasants about and Safe Social Distances can't be maintained! 

Here's Milla Jovovich demonstrating how easy it is to use the Safety Sweater. All you have to do is turn the turtleneck of the Safety Sweater into a facemask that provides all the protection of those things you've been wearing around for the past few years. And when the danger has passed, you just roll it down again.


The Shades of Gray Safety Sweaters are available in black, white, and gray, and in sizes from XXS to XXXXL. Now you can face the Risks of Covid-19 and still be fashionable! These sweaters are unisex, so you don't even have to worry about your gender while getting one!

As Dr. Anthony Fauci (the greatest infectious disease expert in the history of greatness and disease) once said, "There's no reason to be walking around in a mask."

And thanks to the Safety Sweater, he's finally right!



Tuesday, February 22, 2022

2/22/22 -- Return of the Doppelgangers

Sean Dory in "Doppelganger" (2007)

It's another Day of Twos... so it's time for another short film around the theme of doppelgangers! (And remember... if you see yourself today, run the other way!)


Doppleganger (2007)
Starring: Sean Dory and Meghan Lees
Director: John Hollinger
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Monday, February 21, 2022

Musical Monday with Two Feet & Grandson

From what half-assed research I did, today's song resulted when two avantgarde musicians teamed up -- Two Feet (aka Zachary William Dess) and Grandson (aka Jordan Edward Benjamin). 


I think the music they've come with is okay, but I am in complete love with the Erik Rojas-directed video that supports it. It goes to a completely unexpected place!


Until I Come Home (2021)
Starring: Two Feet and grandson
Director: Erik Rojas
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

Sunday, February 20, 2022

Bones Coffee's Electric Unicorn Fruity Cereal

It Sunday, so it's time for another post about coffee I've consumed!

Peculia have breakfast, by Richard Sala
Cereal and Coffee: Part of this compete breakfast!
 
BONES COFFEE COMPANY: ELECTRIC UNICORN FRUITY CEREAL
I think I must have had an odd childhood, because I recall breakfasts that consisted of oatmeal with butter and sometimes sugar or brown sugar, and once in a while milk (and that's what I make to this day on those rare occasions breakfast isn't just a cup of coffee and some Greek yoghurt), or, once in a while, Frosted Flakes. So, despite this very funny ad, the Electric Unicorn blend does not take me back to my childhood... although it does, under certain specific circumstances, put me in mind of what I imagine the fruity, sugary breakfast cereals must taste like. (Specifically, this was supposed to be a "Fruity Cereal" flavor, according to the blend's subtitle.)

Like most of my reviewed of blends from the Bones Coffee Company, this one is based on cups made in a drip coffee-maker, from a 4-oz. sample pack of pre-ground coffee. I drank the Electric Unicorn blend black (both hot and iced) and with Unsweetened Almond Milk or sugar free Italian Sweet Cream creamer added (hot, room temperature and iced).

When I opened the package, a sweet, fruity smell was strongly evident, but this was not one of those blend that filled my place with the magical smells as it brewed. The same fruity smell that rose from the bag does emanate from the mug as the coffee was poured into the mug--a very appealing smell. The flavor, however, when I drank the coffee black was not appealing at all. The now-familiar smooth and slightly bitter taste of a Bones Coffee medium roast was clearly there, but it tastes as if someone had added cough syrup to my mug: the taste was a very unpleasant blend of sweet, sour, and mediciney flavors mixed with coffee. It was quite awful. 

When I added Unsweetened Almond Milk to this blend, all that happened was it got more sour--with a taste that was similar to dirt creeping in. I've never had almond milk that's gone bad, but I thought maybe that's what happened here, so I dumped the rest of the coffee, opened a fresh carton, mixed it into a fresh mug of coffee... and it still tasted awful. Hot, Electric Unicorn does not mix well with Unsweetened Almond Milk. I left the mixture alone for a bit, to let it cool to see if it might improve. It didn't.

I poured another cup, and I mixed in sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. A couple of sips told me that this was a vast improvement over my previous attempts at making Electric Unicorn palatable. The mediciney taste was gone, and the cream flavor swirled nicely with the fruity taste, as well as that of the coffee. What had seemed sour now reminded me of a touch of orange or many lemon. I think I'd finally managed to tease Fruity Cereal out of Electric Unicorn. Unfortunately, the blend too sweet for me now--not as bad as "Peaches and Scream" and not as overwhelming, but too sweet to be enjoyable. Some of that excessive sweetness faded a bit as the coffee cooled... which is good, because it gave me encouragement to finish the review regimen instead of just writing this blend off as terrible.

Because if you drink Electric Unicorn iced, and you like sweet coffee with a flavor that's fruity with a citrusy undercurrent to it, you will love this. It's pretty good black, it's better with Unsweetened Almond Milk added, but it's perfect with the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. 

Like I said at the outset, I don't recall ever having any of those bright-colored breakfast cereals this blend is trying to capture, but I have drunk the remaining milk in a bowl of Frosted Flakes. With the creamer added and iced, I finally got the flavor Bones Coffee was going for--fruity, sweet, and milky... even if the milky was coming from the creamer. Iced, the flavors were also mild enough that they weren't cloying as before. As I finished my final cup of Electric Unicorn, I found myself wishing that I'd tried it iced first; I would have not wasted so much good coffee while trying to find the right way to consume it.

If her cup was filled with Electric Unicorn, she wouldn't be thinking about divorce.

Friday, February 18, 2022

Firearms Friday with Sophie Ryleigh

It's the return of Firearms Friday!

In this installment, we show you that even assassins can be inconvenienced on laundry day. Sometimes, you just have to get ready for work, even if the dryer cycle isn't done.


Sophie Ryleigh is an English model from Essex. You can see more from (of?) her on Instagram and Twitter. She also has a Facebook page.

Thursday, February 17, 2022

Not sure what to make of this one

The Call (2020)
Starring: Danielle Elisha Steiner
Director: Wolfgang Kern
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

While walking in the rain, a woman (Steiner) gets a phone call.

Danielle Elisha Steiner in "The Call"

"The Call" is a quiet, technically well-executed film. I liked the creative, yet straight-forward, camera-work. The precisely calculated use of out-of-focus moments were among the things that impressed me the most about this film... and the well-deployed, touching (yet catchy) music on the soundtrack also stood out.

And yet, I found myself waffling between awarding this picture a High Six or a Low Seven on my 0-10 scale, because I am not left with a clear sense of what is going with the phone call mentioned in the title and my teaser summary. There are a couple obvious explanations--and a less obvious one that got my imagination going, but I'm fairly certain it's not something that was in the Wolfgang Kern's head when staging this film--but since I didn't feel that was enough here for me to lean in one direction or another as far as "meaning" goes, I went with the High Six Rating.

I strongly recommend you take a few minutes out of your day to check out "The Call". Just click below and sit back. Perhaps you can even leave a comment below to tell me (and other visitors) what you think is going on with the voice on the phone.

Wednesday, February 16, 2022

Tuesday, February 15, 2022

'The Law of the Tong' is saved by its interesting main characters

The Law of the Tong (1931)
Starring: Phyllis Barrington, Jason Robards, John Harron, Frank Lackteen, and Dot Farley
Director: Lewis D. Collins
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

An honorable Chinese gangster (Robards) has a chance encounter with a dancehall girl (Barrington) that ends up changing both their lives forever.

Actress Phyllis Barrington

"The Law of the Tong" is a somewhat dull affair with a story that features a mix of interesting and inexplicably stupid characters, as well as equal parts halfhearted moralizing, nonsensical Orientalism, and underdeveloped intrigue.

The film would be unwatchable if not for a pair of interesting characters at its center--Joan (Phyllis Barrington), and Charlie Wong (Jason Robards). Wong is a Chinese gangster whose agendas and ultimate goal is utterly inscrutable. He is clearly operating a human smuggling ring, and he is involved in a gang war, but he claims that his objective is to bring poor Chinese people into the United States where they can enjoy the better life he has found. He is also never anything but courteous and respectful toward Joan and he goes FAR out of his way to help her and turn her life away from an inevitable slide into prostitution. Meanwhile, Joan emerges as a fascinating character when she become caught in the middle between her friendship with Charlie Wong and the nerdy, self-righteous undercover detective Doug (John Harron) who is going to get himself killed while trying to bring down Wong's smuggling ring. In a better, slightly longer film, there would probably have been more development of Wong and Joan... I for one would have enjoyed getting to know both of them better.

I think this film also shows that it's a shame Phyllis Barrington only made a dozen or so movies. She lights up the screen whenever she appears, and her charisma shines brightly both opposite Robards and Harron. 

And speaking of Harron: The third main character in the film, Doug, is interesting only insofar as he is not as bland and uninteresting as the supposed romantic leads in these sorts of films tend to be; otherwise, he is merely the catalyst that leads to Joan's fateful first encounter with Wong. I might have included Doug in the reasons that makes the film worth watching, but the usual blandness is replaced by self-righteousness augmented by stupidity. (He follows Joan to work at the dancehall and then gets outraged--OUTRAGED!--when she dances with customers.)

Aside from its underdeveloped main characters and story, this film is also harmed by the habit of having white actors in "yellow face" portray Asian characters. It's something that looks strange to modern viewers, and, as good as Jason Robards is as Charlie Wong, and Frank Lackteen is as the villainous Yuen, I've no doubt that there were equally talented actors of some East Asian extraction that could have filled those roles. (Heck, one only has to look to "The Secrets of Wu Sin" (1932) for proof of that. Both films are on the same double-feature DVD from Alpha Video.)


Monday, February 14, 2022

Musical Monday with Psychostick

Psychostick


If you're not in a romantic mood on this Valentine's Day, Psychostick is here for you. Even if you're bitter, angry, and heartbroken I think this song will put a smile on your face... ESPECIALLY if you're bitter, angry, and heartbroken!

On Valentine's Day...

... Terry Moore is here to tell all visitors to Shades of Gray how we feel about you!

Terry Moore on Valentine's Day
 
We're sending all of you imaginary flowers and chocolate kisses. Then, you can join us for an imaginary romantic dinner!

Sunday, February 13, 2022

Bones Coffee's Highland Grog

It's Sunday, so I'm going to let the world know about the coffee I've been drinking!

BONES COFFEE COMPANY: HIGHLAND GROG
The concept of this blend confuses me a bit. To me, "grog" is something that's associated with the latter part of the Age of Sail... and I don't associate sailing ships with the Scottish Highlands. When I did a web-search on "highland grog", I discovered that there are several coffee companies that have a version of this flavor under names like Highlander Grog, Highlands Grog, and so on. Each have their own special little twist, but the common theme are the flavors of rum and butterscotch.

With the Bones version of this apparently popular variety of flavored coffee, we get  rum, butterscotch, and caramel. As weird as I find the notion of Highland Grog, I was certain that Bones had given me the resources for some great tasting coffee, because they had done such a wonderful job with their Coconut Rum blend.

Like most of Bones' flavored coffees, the foundation is medium roast. When brewing, the smell of run rises from the pot with a bit of butterscotch mixed in--exactly as advertised. It's not one of those blends where the aroma fills the kitchen and nearby rooms, but standing near the pot as the coffee brews gives you a preview of what you'll be drinking shortly.

As with all the coffees I drink for review purposes, I tried the Highland Grog blend in several specific ways. I drank my first cup black and (bag)piping hot. The rum flavor was front and center from the outset, dominating both the flavor and scent... and seeming like I might actually be drinking coffee spiked with a tremendous amount of rum. Or maybe rum spiked with coffee--the rum flavor is so strong it almost wiped out that of coffee. That, plus the subtle but still noticeable butterscotch flavor, led me to drink an entire cup without adding of my typical unsweetened almond milk or sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. Interestingly, the advertised caramel flavor isn't present until the coffee begins to cool. This made the drink even more enjoyable. It's nice the way the flavor profile changes, and this may have to be a blend I will have to get a bag of, since it's perfect for someone like me who often drinks his coffee slowly, so it invariably cools to room temperature well before I'm done with a cup or mug.

With that in mind, it probably comes as no surprise that this blend works amazingly well over ice, whether it's consumed black or with the usual varieties of almond milk or sugar-free creamer added. Although the flavors are a bit muted--as tends to be the case with most coffees--the rum is still very much evident, as are strong hints of butterscotch and caramel. Even better, there is none of the saltiness that creeps into some Bones Coffee blends when they are consumed iced, or sometimes even at room temperature.

As I mentioned above, this is a flavored coffee that even I, with my reflexive habit of adding almond milk, milk, creamer, or booze to any cup of coffee that is placed before me, could drink black. In fact, the typical unsweetened almond milk I use didn't enhance this blend, but rather seemed to detract from and dilute what made it appealing. The sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer mixed better with the Highland Grog blend, and it was an okay addition to the coffee whether hot, iced, or in-between, but it didn't improve the flavor all that much.

As also mentioned above, I noticed that a number of other coffee roasters offer their version of this flavor, and a number of them have vanilla as part of their mix. I decided to break with my usual review protocol and try Bones' Highland Grog with Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk added. Like the sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer, it mixed nicely with the coffee, and the addition of vanilla wasn't bad, but it was only a slight improvement over drinking the coffee black. (At least when hot or room temperature; I based this review off a 4-oz sample pack of "Highland Grog", and I ran out of coffee before I could try the blend iced with the vanilla almond milk.

Highland Grog is another winner from Bones Coffee Company. I particularly recommend if you're looking for a coffee that's great iced.

Laurel & Hardy relax during filming of "Bonney Scotland"
The Boys like their coffee hot and their kilts below the knees.


Friday, February 11, 2022

Fantastic Friday!

Fantastic Four group headshot by Jack Kirby

"The Fantastic Four" first appeared in 1961, in a comics magazine published by Marvel Comics. Created and co-plotted by Jack Kirby (artist) and Stan Lee (writer), their early appearances were reminiscent of DC Comics' sci-fi/adventure title "The Challengers of the Unknown" (which Kirby illustrated, and possibly co-plotted, for a while before creating this group). The Fantastic Four, however, quickly evolved into something wholly unique, with Kirby and Lee spinning tales featuring equal amounts of cosmic mysteries, superhero action, and down-to-earth--if tending toward the soap-operatic and melodramatic--family dynamic between the characters and their growing supporting cast.

A Fantastic Four family portrait by Steve Rude


Lee and Kirby wrote and drew the "Fantastic Four" for roughly 110 monthly and annual issues. These issues, and the 200 or so that followed, still remain my favorite Marvel Comics... and the Fantastic Four (as they existed in the stories told by Kirby & Lee, followed by Marv Wolfman, Doug Moench, and a variety of a artists, and, ultimately, John Byrne) was a cornerstone of the entire Marvel Universe.

The Fantastic Four in action, by John Byrne

The Fantastic Four began to drift as a property as of issue #301 and by the mid-1990s, they had fallen from their position as Marvel's First Family. Over the past 30 years, there has been numerous reboots and re-inventions of the Fantastic Four, in addition to several cancellations and revivals of their title... but none of the creators that have brought us those tales have been able to recapture the Golden Age of the first 25-30 years of the characters. (As a big fan of Sue, Reed, Johnny, Ben, and all their family and friends, I have kept hoping someone might... but so far, I've only been disappointed.)

The Fantastic Four in action, by Paul Smith

This post series presents drawings that celebrate the glory years of the Fantastic Four! This year, I hope to make at least one each quarter.

The Fantastic Four by Pat Lee


Wednesday, February 9, 2022

A Picture Perfect Wednesday with Anita Page

Anita Page

Although she mostly played supporting roles, Anita Page (1910 - 2008) was one of the most popular screen actresses of the early talkies, at one point receiving thousands of fan letters each week. Her career began to stall during the pre-Code years, and by 1934, she had mostly retired from acting. She is perhaps best remembered for "Night Court" (1932), and her co-starring turns with Bessie Love in "The Broadway Melody" (1929).

In 2000, at the age of 90, she returned to the screen in a string of four B- horror movies.

On this Picture Perfect Wednesday, we bring pictures of Anita playing some instruments. Why? Because!

Anita Page with string instrument
Anita Page playing the guitar

Anita Page, Little Drummer Girl

Tuesday, February 8, 2022

A great effort with serious flaws

Killing Time (2010)
Starring: John Carlin and Zander Riggs
Director: Phil Baumhardt
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A young man (Carlin) sits alone in a room, waiting...


"Killing Time" is a short film that resulted from a student project, but it's very impressive. I really like the lighting (even if it's a little on the dark side), the use of sound, the placement of the camera. All-in-all, it does a great job in capturing the film noir mood and style.

Except for a couple minor details.

Usually, when I post student films I come across during my trawling through YouTube, I don't get too critical of them--they're student films for crying out loud, so if I'm impressed or amused, I leave it at that! There's generally no point in nitpicking them: If I think they're worth the time of the visitors to the blog, they're good enough, period. 

In the specific case of "Killing Time", the flaws break the illusion Phil Baumhardt was going for with such force that it almost ruined the whole thing for me. Still, the overall effort is good enough that I think it's worth checking out... even if you have to click through to YouTube to do so. (And if you do... maybe you can spot the flaws that I did. If you do, let me know if you think I'm being too critical.)


Monday, February 7, 2022

Musical Monday with Head Cleaner



I can't understand a word when it comes to the lyrics of this song--they could literally be Greek, since Head Cleaner is a death metal band hailing from Greece--which is almost always the case when it comes to the growled/screamed vocals of this genre. I assume the lyrics carry a theme about wicked and corrupt people in power coming to brutal ends, because of the song's title and the music video that comes with it. It's a neat short film about a corrupt business executive or political bureaucrat who meets his end at the hands of an axe-wielding killer who may or not be a supernatural being acting in the service of Justice. Check it out; the music isn't to my liking, but the short film got my imagination going... and there may even be a NUELOW Games post with some roleplaying game stuff as a result.


Head Cleaner: Crime and Punishment (2012)
Starring: Anonymous actors
Director: Jim Evgenidis
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

For more music videos and photography from Jim Evgenidis (who was also the front man of Head Cleaner), visit his page at Icon Filmworx.

Sunday, February 6, 2022

Ice-Cold Blonde at the Grocery Store

I drink coffee. Do you drink coffee? If so, you can read about coffee that I've drunk, right here every Sunday, so you can decide if you want to drink it, too!

Self-Portrait by Richard Sala

STARBUCKS CORPORATION: ICED BLONDE ROAST, UNSWEETENED
If you've read my Coffee Log (which is probably the most boring page on the web), you already know that I've been avoiding Starbucks and other such outlets since the middle of 2021. That doesn't mean Starbucks hasn't been getting some of my money though...

Not too long ago, I was grocery shopping when a big, brown bottle caught my eye. It was in the cooler with the cold coffee-themed drinks in cans and little glass bottles and it declared itself to contain Unsweeteend Iced Blonde Roast coffee from Starbucks. It was $6 for 48 oz., so I figured I'd give it a try. If I didn't like it, I could bring it to work to share... and everyone would think I was being generous!

As it turns out, I don't so much like the magic bean juice in the brown bottle as love it. In fact, I think the results I get at home with the unsweetened Iced Blond Roast is superior to both what I recall the iced drinks tasting like, as well as a comparison to my recent return to an old favorite, the Pike Place Roast.

True to what is printed on the bottle, this coffee very much mellow and smooth. It's so smooth that I liked it with just a single packet of Stevia added. Like white coffee, blonde roasts have very little of the bitterness that is typically associated with coffee. It also has a high caffeine content, so it's perfect for someone like me who doesn't like their coffee black--because of the bitter taste--but who wants the caffeine. 

Unlike most other reviews you'll read here, since it's made to be consumed cold and over ice. In addition to trying it straight (which was okay) and with a packet of Stevia added (which was better), I've had it with the usual Unsweetened Almond Milke and sugar-free Italian Sweet Cream creamer. I also mixed this the Iced Blonde Roast with Unweetened Vanilla Almond Milk, sugar-free French Vanilla creamer, vodka & Unweetened Vanilla Almond Milk, Unsweetened Chololate Almond Milk, and probably some mixings I'm forgetting at the moment. I probably should also try it with dashes of various fruit juices to see if I can approximate some of the Bones Coffee flavors while I'm at it...

Basically, at the moment, when my tumbler doesn't contain something iced that I'm drinking for review purposes, it holds iced, blonde-roast Starbucks coffee from a bottle that comes off the grocery store shelf.

Saturday, February 5, 2022

A plotless collection of winter sports jokes

Cracked Ice (1927)
Starring: No one; it's a completely silent cartoon
Director: Paul Terry
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Cartoon animals frolic in a winter wonderland--sledding, skiing, ice skating... you name it, they do it. Meanwhile, their keeper tries to maintain order and safety.


"Cracked Ice" is an offering from the proto-Van Beuren animation department, back when it was run by Paul Terry. It was originally an entry in the long-running "Aesop's Fables" series.

Whether it's signs of things to come, or evidence that John Foster, Vern Stallings, and the rest were carrying on a grand tradition is hard for me to say... but this is the most plotless, nonsensical cartoon I've discovered among the offerings from the Van Beuren Corporation and related operations. It's devoid of any semblance of plot, and I just deleted a paragraph from this post that talked about all the things in this cartoon that don't make any sense. Why? Because as I was typing, I realized that I was faulting a cartoon featuring a skiing hippo and ice skating cats for including things that didn't make sense.

One critique I am going to let stand is that this early Van Beuren release contains another mainstay of many of their offerings: Sometimes they don't know when to move on from a gag. There are couple bits in "Cracked Ice" that start funny or cute but are then dragged out to the point of becoming tedious. Thankfully, it's the minority, but the trend for the next decade seems to be getting established here.

My customary teaser summary at the top of this review isn't just a teaser here--it relates everything that's contained in the cartoon (except the particulars of the gags). If you're in the mood for cartoon animals being goofy in the winter-time, you should watch the cartoon embedded below. One thing's for sure--it's as entertaining as anything you're going to see from the Winter Olympics.


Wednesday, February 2, 2022

2/2/22 -- Day of the Doppelgangers!

Today, on 2/2/22, we're sharing stories about doppelgangers, here and at Terror Titans. We hope you enjoy... and we hope you don't encounter your doppelgangers in your wanderings today.


Doppelganger (2020)
Starring: Michael Diulus
Director: Michael Diulus
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A writer (Diulus) drifts off to sleep while working and finds himself in a struggle for his soul.

Michael Diulus in "Doppelganger" (2020)

"Doppelganger" is a straight-forward, no-frills supernatural horror short that captures the feeling of dreams dead-on. I appreciate its simplicity, and it shows that a single person with a camera and a good eye can create a great experience for the viewer. (The only criticisms I have amount to little more than nitpicks. But I think the main character might have an easier time writing if he sat at a desk; I was more worried for the laptop than his safety for a while there; and the strangling bit was... well, a bit too obvious that it was just one guy and a camera making the film.)

Check out "Doppelganger" by clicking below. I think you'll like it.


You can see more from Michaek Diulus on his YouTube channel by clicking here

Princesses of Mars, Part 40

The Martian princesses are spending this Picture Perfect Wednesday hanging out with some of their favorite friends and pets.


Dejah Thoris and John Carter



Tuesday, February 1, 2022

Worthwhile film with great plot and bad dialogue

The Secrets of Wu Sin (1932)
Starring: Lois Wilson, Grant Withers, Eddie Boland, Toshia Mori, Tetsu Komai, Richard Loo, Dorothy Revier, and Robert Warwick
Director: Richard Thorpe
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Nona (Wilson), a destitute young writer is rescued from a suicide attempt and given a lifeline by way of a job by newspaper editor James Manning (Withers). In order to repay his kindness, Nona works along-side with a veteran reporter (Boland) to use her Chinatown contacts to investigate a human smuggling ring in the hopes of delivering a spectacular scoop. The reporters attract the attention of both the sinister leader of the crime ring, Wu Sin (Komai) and even more dangerous people who hide behind shields of respectability. 

Tetsu Komai in "The Secrets of Wu Sin" (1932)

"The Secrets of Wu Sin" is jam-packed with plot and characters, hits the ground running and doesn't stop until "The End" appears on the screen. Amazingly, and unlike what happens in many films of this period, the main plot and the subplots are all introduced sensibly (if with a healthy dose of melodrama) and all unfold at a steady and engaging pace. Although I saw some of the twists coming as soon as the involved characters appeared on screen--either because I've seen many hundreds of crime dramas, or because it's been 90 years since this film premiered and some of the story elements that were surprising then are stock fare now--but the story was so well executed that it didn't matter. (It was a little more straight-forward than I initially imagined, but it perhaps even worked even better than what I imagined.)

An aspect that makes this film worth watching today is that the story deals with a number of issues that pop up in the U.S. media even to this day, such as illegal immigration. It also makes the point that criminals that exploit recent immigrants to the U.S.--especially those who come here illegally--would not be able to do what they do without the assistance of "respectable" Americans, as well as the wealthy who want the cheap labor and captive labor that illegal immigrants have no choice but to provide. Would there still be criminals exploiting immigrant communities? Certainly. But would they be able to be as exploitive and assertive without the help and protection of those from outside the communities who benefit and even abet their activities? No. This was true in 1932, and it remains a sad truth in 2022.

There's also an interesting side issue of second generation (or later) immigrants and how they might interact with more recent immigrants, as well as how they view and are viewed by immigrant communities. This issue is carried in the romantic subplot involving Nona's recent Chinese immigrant friend Miao (played by Toshia Mori) and American-born Charlie (Richard Loo). Miao is under the thumb of Wu Sin, and Charlie ends up being swept into Tong activities as a result, despite his continued appeal that Miao should abandon her traditional Chinese ways. It's an interesting subplot that might be derailed by the main plot, or perhaps even cause the main plot to rerail, in a less-efficiently plotted movie. It also helps that Miao and Charlie are both likeable characters, portrayed by likeable actors.

Toshia Mori and Tetsu Komai in "The Secrets of Wu Sin"

And speaking of actors: One remarkable thing about "The Secrets of Wu Sin", for a film of this type and from this period, is that all the leading Chinese characters are played by Asian actors rather than Caucasians in make-up that may of varying degrees of ridiculousness. Sure--only one of these actors is actually of Chinese extraction (Richard Loo, who, ironically, is best known for playing Japanese characters), but it's nice to see Asians on-screen, playing Asian characters, be they villains, victims, or heroes.

What isn't remarkable is the acting, even taking into the account the universal charisma and screen presence of everyone in a significant part in "The Secrets of Wu Sin". Even by low-budget, early talkies standards, the actors are almost universally struggling with awful dialog that is made more obvious by stagey performances. The bad dialog is one of the few weak spots in this film, but it so pervasive that it dragged the film down from my awarding it a Seven Rating to giving it a High Six instead. Interestingly, the exchanges are livelier and less stilted in scenes featuring Eddie Borland, whether he's sharing the screen with Tetsu Komai, Lois Wilson, or Grant Withers. Maybe more of those lines were ad-libbed than elsewhere in the film and Borland's vast experience acting on stage and in front of cameras is shining through? (It's also worth noting that although Borland's character of Eddie is the comic relief in the film, he's not as annoying nor stupid as those tend to be in films of this period.)

Another drag on the film is heroic lead Grant Withers. I found him very entertaining in in the Mr. Wong films, but here, aside from his first major scene with co-star Lois Wilson, he is unimpressive and dull. I can't decide if it's the lines he has suffering through, of if it's because he only excels at playing blustery angry characters (like Captain Street in the "Mr. Wong" films) and so fails at more level-headed, low-key characters like the diplomatic and task-focused James Manning in this picture. Since I am primarily familiar with Withers through his role of Captain Street, I can't fairly judge him here. I will have to watch for him elsewhere.)

Ultimately, I think the good--a strong story and a cast of likeable actors--outweighs that bad in "The Secrets of Wu Sin". If you enjoy mysteries from the Poverty Row studios of the early 1930s, I think you'll like this one. You can find it on DVD with the bonus feature "The Law of the Tong" (review coming some day, watch this space!) or streaming on Amazon Prime.